Kaymyth Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Well, she approached me while I was eating lunch. I hoped she was going to apologize, but no, she had some "observations" that she said upfront she wasn't going to apologize for. I wasn't always this angry. She thinks my anger is connected to embracing "worldly thinking" and drifting away from the beliefs I was raised with. And honestly, I think she's onto something. But I don't think drifting away from the beliefs I was raised with is a bad thing. Sure, some of them are good. But some of them are not, and some of them are downright harmful. I'm angry because I'm sick of being forced to keep my views to myself and pretend like I still believe everything my family does, and I'm sick of hearing my views dismissed out of hand because they're not views my parents share. And look, I see what those beliefs do to people. They've turned my parents into harsh, unforgiving people who believe they have a right to be right because they happen to be my genetic predecessors. How is questioning those views a bad thing? How is modifying, or outright rejecting, some of those views a bad thing? I just….ugh, I'm done. I'm done. I want a new job so I can get out of here. Translation: "You are no longer a perfect little clone of everything I think and feel, and therefore you are doing something wrong. Clearly, you are making yourself miserable in your attempt to actually be a sovereign thinking, feeling being, and if you'd just give in and conform everything would be all right." Your mother is the Borg. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Ya know, if she could make the third observation that those two points are because she's in the wrong, then she may actually be on the right way, until then... Even if she were willing to actually discuss my changing views, instead of point out how I'm wrong, I wouldn't be so angry. But I avoid talking current events and opinion with her because I feel like she's trying to pin down and point out where I'm going wrong with my views. If I ever have kids then I just hope they're as awesome as you Twi, there's nothing wrong with having different views than your parents and I'm sorry you've been made to feel like that's some kind of crime. *hugs* Thanks. I don't feel like it's a crime—not anymore. My parents just treat it that way. Translation: "You are no longer a perfect little clone of everything I think and feel, and therefore you are doing something wrong. Clearly, you are making yourself miserable in your attempt to actually be a sovereign thinking, feeling being, and if you'd just give in and conform everything would be all right." Your mother is the Borg. She IS. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pestis the Spider Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Twi, I feel for you. I hope you can get a new job and move out of there as soon as possible. I've been in the similar situation, and I still think moveing out was the best thing I've done in my life. Once you move out, your relationship with your parents will inevitably change, so maybe that will make them think once again and realise their mistakes. And hopefully you can all make up then. All the best. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaymyth Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Even if she were willing to actually discuss my changing views, instead of point out how I'm wrong, I wouldn't be so angry. But I avoid talking current events and opinion with her because I feel like she's trying to pin down and point out where I'm going wrong with my views. Thanks. I don't feel like it's a crime—not anymore. My parents just treat it that way. She IS. So here's what you do. Every time she goes on a rampage, think back to the scene in First Contact where the Borg Queen is trying to get Data to turn. Try and imagine it as ridiculously as possible, too, like the full weird baldhead thing and everything. If you can start throwing your mother into satirical roles, it will help. Keeping your sense of humor is vital. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 So here's what you do. Every time she goes on a rampage, think back to the scene in First Contact where the Borg Queen is trying to get Data to turn. Try and imagine it as ridiculously as possible, too, like the full weird baldhead thing and everything. If you can start throwing your mother into satirical roles, it will help. Keeping your sense of humor is vital. Good idea. I'd been just swearing at her in my head, but I think your solution is better. It'll make it harder to let her see I'm angry, at any rate. I just….if you don't mind my getting all soppy for a minute, I want to say thanks. For being here and listening, really listening. Having a group of friends I can vent to and receive support for it makes all the difference in the world. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThirdGen Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 In the words of Agent Smith, "One of these lives has a future. The other does not." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Edgedancer Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Good idea. I'd been just swearing at her in my head, but I think your solution is better. It'll make it harder to let her see I'm angry, at any rate. I just….if you don't mind my getting all soppy for a minute, I want to say thanks. For being here and listening, really listening. Having a group of friends I can vent to and receive support for it makes all the difference in the world. Of course we're here for you Twi. You deserve just about every nice word we have said to you, with all the joy you bring to the forum. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 I...I think I just realized why Bruce makes messes in my mom's room, but rarely in mine. He knows what she says upsets me, and he's sticking it to the man. Maybe I'm wrong and I'm just reading more into typical puppy behavior than I should, but I like this version of events. 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlion Blight Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 She's doing this exactly because she is losing control and has no idea how to treat someone else as anything but a subordinate. Her futility galls her and she is too small a person to improve herself. I'm sorry you have to put up with this, just hang in there and keep swimming! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Twi, you're a great friend and you deserve it. Of course we're always here for you. Besides, you're the Forum Supplier of Cute Pugs. We *need* you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Slowswift Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 Something I think everybody could stand to hear once in a while:"If you have a bad thought about yourself, tell it to go to hell because that is exactly where it came from." 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haelbarde Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 But dear G-D, someone get me a punching bag. ______ || | / \ | | | | | | | | | | \___/ | | ________| Does that work for you? 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistrunner Posted November 19, 2015 Report Share Posted November 19, 2015 I just….if you don't mind my getting all soppy for a minute, I want to say thanks. For being here and listening, really listening. Having a group of friends I can vent to and receive support for it makes all the difference in the world. *triple hug*It really is awesome. Even if I don't post here, I always feel better because of all the support and hugs going on. *hugs everybody* 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
little wilson Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 So I've been feeling very drained of energy lately. No motivation or desire to really do anything that I usually like to do. It's a feeling that started in May/June and has been getting progressively worse until now I come home from work feeling like my soul has been sucked out of me. I thought it was my thyroid, since my family has a history of that. So I went to the doctor a few weeks ago. He had me get a blood test. Went back in today for the results hoping and expecting to hear that I have hypothyroidism (which the doctor was also expecting it to be). I don't. At least, my levels were normal. You'd think that would be a good thing to hear, right? It's not. Because my antibodies levels were very much not normal. And that's not treatable like hypothyroidism is. So here I was expecting to figure out exactly what's been going on with me so I can fix it and start feeling like myself again and now I still don't know anything really. I'm just sitting in Costco waiting for the nurse to call me back to tell me they sent this prescription over, so I can take a pill to get another blood test that will hopefully tell me what's wrong but it probably won't because why would it? I hate my thoughts right now. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm kind of worried my mom will kick me out now. I know I'm in the right here. I know such an act would say more about her than it does about me. I know her reasons ("my fully grown daughter has a mind of her own and doesn't looovvvveeee me enough! :-( ) are ridiculous. And I don't think it would be her first move; she likes having her kids close because she'll have more control over us that way. I'm still worried it'll happen because I really don't have anywhere to go. I don't know if there's a shelter that would take me and Bruce together--though that might not matter because if she kicks me out, she could very well decide to just keep Bruce. There's one couple in town who might take me in. Maybe. But that's what scares me--it's only a maybe at this point. Just...pray, hope, send out good thoughts for me? All I need is a job, and then I can be on my way. 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Slowswift Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm kind of worried my mom will kick me out now. I know I'm in the right here. I know such an act would say more about her than it does about me. I know her reasons ("my fully grown daughter has a mind of her own and doesn't looovvvveeee me enough! :-( ) are ridiculous. And I don't think it would be her first move; she likes having her kids close because she'll have more control over us that way. I'm still worried it'll happen because I really don't have anywhere to go. I don't know if there's a shelter that would take me and Bruce together--though that might not matter because if she kicks me out, she could very well decide to just keep Bruce. There's one couple in town who might take me in. Maybe. But that's what scares me--it's only a maybe at this point. Just...pray, hope, send out good thoughts for me? All I need is a job, and then I can be on my way. If that happens... You will absolutely be in my prayers. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm kind of worried my mom will kick me out now. I know I'm in the right here. I know such an act would say more about her than it does about me. I know her reasons ("my fully grown daughter has a mind of her own and doesn't looovvvveeee me enough! :-( ) are ridiculous. And I don't think it would be her first move; she likes having her kids close because she'll have more control over us that way. I'm still worried it'll happen because I really don't have anywhere to go. I don't know if there's a shelter that would take me and Bruce together--though that might not matter because if she kicks me out, she could very well decide to just keep Bruce. There's one couple in town who might take me in. Maybe. But that's what scares me--it's only a maybe at this point. Just...pray, hope, send out good thoughts for me? All I need is a job, and then I can be on my way. I'll definitely pray. I wish you were close enough to Texas to make staying with us a possibility--we'd take you in, if you weren't creeped out by the idea of staying with a family you know over a fantasy forum. But as is, all I can do is pray. And pray I will. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistrunner Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm kind of worried my mom will kick me out now. I know I'm in the right here. I know such an act would say more about her than it does about me. I know her reasons ("my fully grown daughter has a mind of her own and doesn't looovvvveeee me enough! :-( ) are ridiculous. And I don't think it would be her first move; she likes having her kids close because she'll have more control over us that way. I'm still worried it'll happen because I really don't have anywhere to go. I don't know if there's a shelter that would take me and Bruce together--though that might not matter because if she kicks me out, she could very well decide to just keep Bruce. There's one couple in town who might take me in. Maybe. But that's what scares me--it's only a maybe at this point. Just...pray, hope, send out good thoughts for me? All I need is a job, and then I can be on my way. I'm joining the rest of the people in saying that you'll be in my prayers. I hope you can find a way out of this mess soon. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silverblade5 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm kind of worried my mom will kick me out now. I know I'm in the right here. I know such an act would say more about her than it does about me. I know her reasons ("my fully grown daughter has a mind of her own and doesn't looovvvveeee me enough! :-( ) are ridiculous. And I don't think it would be her first move; she likes having her kids close because she'll have more control over us that way. I'm still worried it'll happen because I really don't have anywhere to go. I don't know if there's a shelter that would take me and Bruce together--though that might not matter because if she kicks me out, she could very well decide to just keep Bruce. There's one couple in town who might take me in. Maybe. But that's what scares me--it's only a maybe at this point. Just...pray, hope, send out good thoughts for me? All I need is a job, and then I can be on my way. ... Anyone that can afford a round trip road trip to Spokane, while also being able to support an extra mouth? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 Thanks, everyone. I just got home from work. She's still mad; I can tell by her tone and the fact she made something she knows I don't like for dinner. Waiting to see what happens. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mistrunner Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 ... Anyone that can afford a round trip road trip to Spokane, while also being able to support an extra mouth? I can't drive, but there's a tandem bike in the garage... Thanks, everyone. I just got home from work. She's still mad; I can tell by her tone and the fact she made something she knows I don't like for dinner. Waiting to see what happens. *hugs muchly* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 Thanks, everyone. I just got home from work. She's still mad; I can tell by her tone and the fact she made something she knows I don't like for dinner. Waiting to see what happens. I want to go on the record saying that your mom sucks. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) I want to go on the record saying that your mom sucks. Now she's on the phone with my dad, spilling her side of the story. Not that my side matters, because he's always been her hatchet man. I used to think he was more reasonable than she was because he didn't yell or slam doors, but he's not. He's not reasonable at all. He once shamed me for taking my mom to a movie for her birthday because I told him I had to finish a paper instead of folding laundry when I got home. Still can't watch that movie. Anyway, she does suck. So does he. I'm not afraid, though. Of getting kicked out, yes, but not of her anger. She can't control me with it anymore. Edited November 20, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlion Blight Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm sorry you have to go through this rust, Twi For what it's worth, I don't think she will directly kick you out... It does not jive with her perceived role of "benevolent victim". She'll still make your life hell, but her precious pseudo suffering is too precious for her to cut it off immediately. And you know better what practical steps to take, so I won't bother with any suggestions on that part It does suck, but you'll get through it, and the worse case will remain hypothetical. So it is written, so it will be done 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaymyth Posted November 20, 2015 Report Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'll definitely pray. I wish you were close enough to Texas to make staying with us a possibility--we'd take you in, if you weren't creeped out by the idea of staying with a family you know over a fantasy forum. But as is, all I can do is pray. And pray I will. Echoing Kobold here...alas, the commute from Kansas to your current job would suck. Thanks, everyone. I just got home from work. She's still mad; I can tell by her tone and the fact she made something she knows I don't like for dinner. Waiting to see what happens. She made something you don't like for dinner as revenge. Ye gods, that woman is petty. (And any mother who would kick her daughter out the week before Thanksgiving has to turn in her Mom Card. By law. It's a thing.) 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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