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[Kasimir he/him]

I guess it's times like this that bring home to me the difference between philosophy and real life. Or at least, before akrasia steps in.

I've always believed that Stoicism and Buddhist philosophy are roughly correct about anger: Anger is a poison that you have to leech from you. It's a negative attachment. And it's okay to feel anger. It is not okay to act from it. It is not okay to hold it, and hold it, and to keep poisoning yourself with it. It's like leaving a thorn in your foot because you weren't the one to put it there.

I know all this. And yet I'm still deeply, intensely angry. And I can't let go of it, even though I should. I know what I have to do. I just can't bring myself to do it, and in a way, that is failure of the will.

I guess I'm scared because I've seldom been like this and I just don't know what to do. I can't move past it; I can't let go. I just can't. And it's foolish because it's just another burden to bear.

Reason, I suppose, is the servant of the passions. Hume knows his stuff, for sure.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I guess it's times like this that bring home to me the difference between philosophy and real life. Or at least, before akrasia steps in.

I've always believed that Stoicism and Buddhist philosophy are roughly correct about anger: Anger is a poison that you have to leech from you. It's a negative attachment. And it's okay to feel anger. It is not okay to act from it. It is not okay to hold it, and hold it, and to keep poisoning yourself with it. It's like leaving a thorn in your foot because you weren't the one to put it there.

I know all this. And yet I'm still deeply, intensely angry. And I can't let go of it, even though I should. I know what I have to do. I just can't bring myself to do it, and in a way, that is failure of the will.

I guess I'm scared because I've seldom been like this and I just don't know what to do. I can't move past it; I can't let go. I just can't. And it's foolish because it's just another burden to bear.

Reason, I suppose, is the servant of the passions. Hume knows his stuff, for sure.

I think anger is something to be worked through, rationalized, and reasoned through until it loses its power. Just letting go doesn't always work; do that, and you're still angry, but you've just buried it. And that's when it can be used against you, when you're still angry but you haven't reasoned through it enough to come up with a compelling argument as to why you're justified in being angry.

[Kasimir he/him]

I think anger is something to be worked through, rationalized, and reasoned through until it loses its power. Just letting go doesn't always work; do that, and you're still angry, but you've just buried it. And that's when it can be used against you, when you're still angry but you haven't reasoned through it enough to come up with a compelling argument as to why you're justified in being angry.

I don't want to justify it though. And as a philosopher, I'm always worried about over-rationalising it. When you're angry, you can spell out reasons as to why you're right to be angry. But that's coming frim a mind already tainted with anger.

To be fair, I see both of us as talking along similar lines. I regard letting go as gaining that critical reflective distance from that screaming fog of red and the raw desire to hurt in you. And I regard actual letting go as something you have to repeat: not burying the anger, but actively saying: "I alone am master of how I feel. And I choose to be happy. You have no power over me."

The main thing that strikes me about the difference is that you are right: I am burying it, right now. Because it's still there. Because I'm not working through it, confronting it, and reminding myself that this too shall pass. And I guess that's what I have to do, to truly let go, rather than to cling to it and to remain angry. "But I can't" is just an excuse to keep hurting and being rageful. Hateful, even.

So, thank you so much That was exactly what I needed to hear. I appreciate it!

[Mashadar Mistborn he/him]

My family just told me that I sound unintelligent for using the word discomfit correctly. I think that because I don't show emotion, they think I don't feel it. I'm rather vexed right now, and considering speaking eastern street slang whenever I'm with one of them tomorrow.

[Mistrunner]

I, um, I made a thing.

 

The Lonely Chatterboxes Club.

 

I'm very open to newcomers. And oldcomers. And middle-agedcomers. Come on over. I'm sure we'll have plenty of brownies to hand out (Dark Alley, don't even think about it).

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

"Are you upset because I asked you to put the towels away?"

No, Mom, I'm upset because while you were lecturing my eleven year old sister to oblivion, I was cleaning up two of Bruce's accidents without being asked or told, and without complaining. The only reason those towels were on the sofa waiting to be folded is because I had to shuffle some loads around to make room for the bath mats that needed to be washed. You, being the stable person you are, couldn't bear the sight of four unfolded towels on your sofa and, instead of just putting them away like anyone else in the house would have done, decided you were too good to put them away and decided to make me do it instead.

That, Mother Dearest, is what I'm upset about.

[Mistrunner]

"Are you upset because I asked you to put the towels away?"

No, Mom, I'm upset because while you were lecturing my eleven year old sister to oblivion, I was cleaning up two of Bruce's accidents without being asked or told, and without complaining. The only reason those towels were on the sofa waiting to be folded is because I had to shuffle some loads around to make room for the bath mats that needed to be washed. You, being the stable person you are, couldn't bear the sight of four unfolded towels on your sofa and, instead of just putting them away like anyone else in the house would have done, decided you were too good to put them away and decided to make me do it instead.

That, Mother Dearest, is what I'm upset about.

I'm sorry. *hugs* Have some pugs dressed as kings of England.

 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I'm sorry. *hugs* Have some pugs dressed as kings of England.

D'awwww.

What I hate about this whole deal isn't just what she does. It's that she's can do all that and still think she's a good person. She can treat me like crap and "forget" everything she said when I bring it up, and preach a sermon about being kind to others with a straight face. She can hold me and my siblings to this nigh-impossible standard, and lower it for herself, and not notice the inconsistency. It makes me want to scream, but even that wouldn't do any good because she'd write me off as the crazy one and force me to talk to a therapist who agrees with every word she says.

And I want to get out of here...but it's looking more and more like that won't happen for a while.

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

I am mad!!

So I walk up to a group of kids at my school between classes. They are wearing Marvel and Star Trek T-Shirts, so I am like, wahoo! I walk up and say hi. The look of contempt they give me is like a queen to a dead body of a spider. They just walk right through me, shove me out of the way, and keep walking. The five or 6 teachers in the hall do nothing.

My new name for them is the Ghostbloods. I hate school.

[Blaze1616 he/him]

You should call them that. To their faces. If they are Sanderfans they'll likely accept you immediately. If they don't, they can't treat you any worse?

[Left he/him]

So it turns out my sister didn't delete all of my saves. She got at least one though. Don't know if she was trying to get at me or just said what she'd thought had happened. I'm really glad I didn't explode now though.

[Seonid he/him]

Yesterday I stayed home from work to work on my senior research project. I was able to solve a significant problem that has been eluding me for weeks. So why the storms do I feel even more depressed about it than I did before?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I am mad!!

So I walk up to a group of kids at my school between classes. They are wearing Marvel and Star Trek T-Shirts, so I am like, wahoo! I walk up and say hi. The look of contempt they give me is like a queen to a dead body of a spider. They just walk right through me, shove me out of the way, and keep walking. The five or 6 teachers in the hall do nothing.

My new name for them is the Ghostbloods. I hate school.

 

Wow, they suck.  Maybe they're true Marvel and Star Trek fans, but maybe they're just wearing those T-shirts because they're ironically cool or something ridiculous like that. Or maybe they really are Marvel fans and Trekkies, but they're just total jerks. Whatever the case, they're not worth pursuing friendship. Ignore with extreme prejudice. 

 

On the upside, they can't be the only people at your school who might like the same things you do. I mean, it can't be an entire school full of stuck-up jackchulls….unless your parents enrolled you at the Stuck-Up Jackchull Academy.  

 

 

Yesterday I stayed home from work to work on my senior research project. I was able to solve a significant problem that has been eluding me for weeks. So why the storms do I feel even more depressed about it than I did before?

 

I'm sorry. It could be that your brain is saying "We only solved this problem by shirking responsibility in another area, so feel sad about that!" In which case your brain is a scumbag. 

 

…..

 

I'm very fond of dismissing people and brains as scumbags today. Take what I say with a grain of salt.  

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

Thank you all for your support!

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I know this is going to sound weird….but I'm really worried about losing Bruce's affection. I don't know if I have any solid evidence that it might happen, aside from the fact that he wags his tail whenever he sees my mom and always jumps at the chance to cuddle with her, but it worries me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but he spends a pretty big portion of the day with her while I'm at work, and I worry that she spends the whole day spoiling him more than I ever could. So I worry that when I move out, he'll resent me for not being able to give him all the things my mom did (mainly, staying home with him all day; I'll be working full time and won't be able to) and want to stay with her after our first trip home. 

 

Again, I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but when I first move out, he'll be the only friend I'll have for a while. He's already a lot of what keeps me going when I'm at my lowest. And I'm afraid my mom is in the process of stealing him. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

I know this is going to sound weird….but I'm really worried about losing Bruce's affection. I don't know if I have any solid evidence that it might happen, aside from the fact that he wags his tail whenever he sees my mom and always jumps at the chance to cuddle with her, but it worries me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but he spends a pretty big portion of the day with her while I'm at work, and I worry that she spends the whole day spoiling him more than I ever could. So I worry that when I move out, he'll resent me for not being able to give him all the things my mom did (mainly, staying home with him all day; I'll be working full time and won't be able to) and want to stay with her after our first trip home. 

 

Again, I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but when I first move out, he'll be the only friend I'll have for a while. He's already a lot of what keeps me going when I'm at my lowest. And I'm afraid my mom is in the process of stealing him. 

 

If it helps, dogs don't understand resentment.  He might be a little bit confused and stressed at the change for a while, but that has nothing to do with any of this and will just make him cling to you.  Your mom can't steal your dog, however much she may try.

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

I know this is going to sound weird….but I'm really worried about losing Bruce's affection. I don't know if I have any solid evidence that it might happen, aside from the fact that he wags his tail whenever he sees my mom and always jumps at the chance to cuddle with her, but it worries me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but he spends a pretty big portion of the day with her while I'm at work, and I worry that she spends the whole day spoiling him more than I ever could. So I worry that when I move out, he'll resent me for not being able to give him all the things my mom did (mainly, staying home with him all day; I'll be working full time and won't be able to) and want to stay with her after our first trip home. 

 

Again, I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but when I first move out, he'll be the only friend I'll have for a while. He's already a lot of what keeps me going when I'm at my lowest. And I'm afraid my mom is in the process of stealing him.

Twi, I think you are kinda over worrying. Just calm down, everything will be fine.

[Edgedancer he/him]

I know this is going to sound weird….but I'm really worried about losing Bruce's affection. I don't know if I have any solid evidence that it might happen, aside from the fact that he wags his tail whenever he sees my mom and always jumps at the chance to cuddle with her, but it worries me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but he spends a pretty big portion of the day with her while I'm at work, and I worry that she spends the whole day spoiling him more than I ever could. So I worry that when I move out, he'll resent me for not being able to give him all the things my mom did (mainly, staying home with him all day; I'll be working full time and won't be able to) and want to stay with her after our first trip home. 

 

Again, I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but when I first move out, he'll be the only friend I'll have for a while. He's already a lot of what keeps me going when I'm at my lowest. And I'm afraid my mom is in the process of stealing him. 

I think Bruce is smart enough to not pick a woman that tries to guilt trip dogs over you.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

If it helps, dogs don't understand resentment.  He might be a little bit confused and stressed at the change for a while, but that has nothing to do with any of this and will just make him cling to you.  Your mom can't steal your dog, however much she may try.

I think Bruce is smart enough to not pick a woman that tries to guilt trip dogs over you.

 

Thanks. It's just that this is totally something she'd do. She probably still resents me for inadvertently making Mollie like me, and to her mind, I probably did it on purpose. (She does that all. the. time. She'll ascribe motives to people, and no amount of arguing or evidence will ever convince her that, say, an eleven-year-old disobeyed her out of fear and not because she wanted to make her angry.) So the chances she sees stealing Bruce as my just reward are pretty high. 

 

Depressing stuff below the spoiler: 

 

And she's done this before. When I was in middle school, I had a friend who didn't go to church, watched TV shows and listened to music my parents didn't approve of (meaning Teen Titans and Avril Lavigne—shut up, it was the early 2000s) and got poor grades by their standard (so, B's and C's). I don't think she was a bad influence on me at all; her parents treated her far better than mine did, and I think if we had stayed friends, I might've seen the truth earlier. But my parents managed to convince me this friend was a terrible influence on me, and they made me basically dump her at her birthday party. If they thought something like that was acceptable treatment for a human being, stealing a dog's affection would be nothing to them.

Edited November 13, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Edgedancer he/him]

Thanks. It's just that this is totally something she'd do. She probably still resents me for inadvertently making Mollie like me, and to her mind, I probably did it on purpose. (She does that all. the. time. She'll ascribe motives to people, and no amount of arguing or evidence will ever convince her that, say, an eleven-year-old disobeyed her out of fear and not because she wanted to make her angry.) So the chances she sees stealing Bruce as my just reward are pretty high. 

 

Depressing stuff below the spoiler: 

 

And she's done this before. When I was in middle school, I had a friend who didn't go to church, watched TV shows and listened to music my parents didn't approve of (meaning Teen Titans and Avril Lavigne—shut up, it was the early 2000s) and got poor grades by their standard (so, B's and C's). I don't think she was a bad influence on me at all; her parents treated her far better than mine did, and I think if we had stayed friends, I might've seen the truth earlier. But my parents managed to convince me this friend was a terrible influence on me, and they made me basically dump her at her birthday party. If they thought something like that was acceptable treatment for a human being, stealing a dog's affection would be nothing to them.

You know, the sad thing is, I actually don't doubt that your mother wants to try and steal your dog. I just think that she doesn't stand a chance at being nicer than you to your dog, because she isn't very good at being a decent human being, which means her attempts are going to be utterly futile.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

You know, the sad thing is, I actually don't doubt that your mother wants to try and steal your dog. I just think that she doesn't stand a chance at being nicer than you to your dog, because she isn't very good at being a decent human being, which means her attempts are going to be utterly futile.

 

Thanks. That really does help. 

[Kaymyth she/her]

Thanks. That really does help. 

 

What Edgedancer said.

 

Also, dogs have all the loves.  Loving one human does not mean that they don't love the other humans.  Besides, how long do you think your mother can keep this up before Bruce does something she doesn't approve of and she decides to "punish" him? 

[Briar King]

Attacks in Paris. Sigh

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Today was the first concert of the season. Our director wanted us to dress up in all black and a tie. Now me, being the sparking, literally minded idiot that I am, somehow failed to interpret this as dress clothes, despite the fact that it's for a FORMAL PREFORMANCE. So I shore up for pictures with a black, inside-out t-shirt with a tie tied around my neck instead of the shirt. Needless to say, it didn't go well.

[Orlion Blight he/him]

Attacks in Paris. Sigh

Yeah, seems fairly extensive and organized