RippleGylf she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I'm wondering if I should just stop doing SE. It's really stressing me out, because I can't really defend myself against a storming typo. It's just not fun for me anymore. 2
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I'm wondering if I should just stop doing SE. It's really stressing me out, because I can't really defend myself against a storming typo. It's just not fun for me anymore. *eye twitch* I always knew typos were up to no good.... Joking aside, I'm sorry. The Reckoners RPG is a more insane alternative, if you're still in a role playing mood....
RippleGylf she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Oh, I've already started down that path...
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Oh, I've already started down that path... Ah, that's right.
Mailliw73 he/him Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I'm wondering if I should just stop doing SE. It's really stressing me out, because I can't really defend myself against a storming typo. It's just not fun for me anymore. I've got your back.
RippleGylf she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I've got your back. Thank you. It's just really silly to have a lynch train because of a typo.
Mailliw73 he/him Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Thank you. It's just really silly to have a lynch train because of a typo. Agreed. Though we probably shouldn't talk anymore about the game.
Mistrunner Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 So I've been having a lot of trouble with this move because where we moved from was the best place I've ever lived and now my mom is suggesting that she might have me talk to a counselor if this keeps up and she isn't the sort of person to ever suggest counseling and now I'm scared there's something wrong with me or something and I don't even know. I still want a chocolate fund. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 So I've been having a lot of trouble with this move because where we moved from was the best place I've ever lived and now my mom is suggesting that she might have me talk to a counselor if this keeps up and she isn't the sort of person to ever suggest counseling and now I'm scared there's something wrong with me or something and I don't even know. I still want a chocolate fund. It sounds to me like you're just dealing with the move and missing your old place and friends. Your mom could want you to see a counselor just to help you talk through all this, and sometimes they do help. Depends on which one you see, but whatever the case, it might help you to have someone to listen. If you don't want to see a counselor, we're always here. 1
Delightful Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 So I've been having a lot of trouble with this move because where we moved from was the best place I've ever lived and now my mom is suggesting that she might have me talk to a counselor if this keeps up and she isn't the sort of person to ever suggest counseling and now I'm scared there's something wrong with me or something and I don't even know. I still want a chocolate fund. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it just means that you're having trouble with the move and having someone to talk to can help. I second what Twi said, we're always here if that helps. Not sure what we can do about the chocolate fund.
Curious Anamaximder he/him Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 It sounds to me like you're just dealing with the move and missing your old place and friends. Your mom could want you to see a counselor just to help you talk through all this, and sometimes they do help. Depends on which one you see, but whatever the case, it might help you to have someone to listen. If you don't want to see a counselor, we're always here. You assume I am qualified enough to be a counselor? C'mon Twi, you know me to well to say that. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Long story short, my mom received news that everything for the move might not be settled until January. This sucks for obvious reasons, and I do feel sorry for her, but….I don't know how to console her. In the past, I've tried. Sometimes, what I say helps. Most of the time, I'll say the wrong thing and she'll bite my head off for it. Not because I'll say something like "Oh, maybe God really wants us to stay here for another three months and you should stop complaining about what God wants"—not only is that rude and unhelpful, but I really don't think God is that big of a meanie—but just because what I say isn't what she wants to hear at that moment. And there's no telling what she wants to hear at any given time. Sometimes, "I know things will work out in the end" will help her feel better; sometimes, it'll just make her more upset. And when she's upset, I'm the one who gets the brunt of her anger for trying to console her the wrong way. So I didn't really say anything this time. I just listened to her vent and added the occasional "I'm sorry" at all the right places. So now I feel guilty, and I'm also afraid she'll get mad at me later for not being sympathetic enough, which means that on top of that guilt, there's more guilt for not comforting my own mom because I was afraid of how she'd react…. Yeah. Bad time to be in Twi's house. 3
Orlion Blight he/him Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 You could always go for Rocket Racoon's reaction to Drax moaning about the death of his family: "Oh, booo-hooo!" Or you could be cliched and say, "Be grateful! There are kids in Africa who wish they were moving in January!" Or, just make fart noises... I don't know, my brain's pretty fried right now from work. 4
Edgedancer he/him Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Long story short, my mom received news that everything for the move might not be settled until January. This sucks for obvious reasons, and I do feel sorry for her, but….I don't know how to console her. In the past, I've tried. Sometimes, what I say helps. Most of the time, I'll say the wrong thing and she'll bite my head off for it. Not because I'll say something like "Oh, maybe God really wants us to stay here for another three months and you should stop complaining about what God wants"—not only is that rude and unhelpful, but I really don't think God is that big of a meanie—but just because what I say isn't what she wants to hear at that moment. And there's no telling what she wants to hear at any given time. Sometimes, "I know things will work out in the end" will help her feel better; sometimes, it'll just make her more upset. And when she's upset, I'm the one who gets the brunt of her anger for trying to console her the wrong way. So I didn't really say anything this time. I just listened to her vent and added the occasional "I'm sorry" at all the right places. So now I feel guilty, and I'm also afraid she'll get mad at me later for not being sympathetic enough, which means that on top of that guilt, there's more guilt for not comforting my own mom because I was afraid of how she'd react…. Yeah. Bad time to be in Twi's house. Twi did nothing wrong! Anyway, you really don't have to feel guilty about not taking a risk with consoling you mother. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 You could always go for Rocket Racoon's reaction to Drax moaning about the death of his family: "Oh, booo-hooo!" Or you could be cliched and say, "Be grateful! There are kids in Africa who wish they were moving in January!" Or, just make fart noises... I don't know, my brain's pretty fried right now from work. Twi did nothing wrong! Anyway, you really don't have to feel guilty about not taking a risk with consoling you mother. Thanks. What makes it even worse is that I stopped telling her about the sucky things that happened to me precisely because she'd "console" me either by making me feel like I had no right to complain, or by giving me unsolicited advice for how to make up for my mistake, regardless of whether or not I was really at fault. For example, if I complained about a rude customer, she'd ask me how I reacted to it, and then she'd pick apart my reaction and insinuate that I brought their rudeness on myself….somehow. So she's already feeling like I don't talk to her anymore, so there's a pretty real danger of her deciding I don't care about her and punishing me accordingly. I'm just excited to move out already. 3
Elbereth she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 AAAH I HAVE TO BE EXEMPLARY TO YOUNGER KIDS AND PROPS FOR THE PLAY WERE DUE TODAY AND AAAH Sorry about that. I had to let out my stress somehow. To summarize without screaming, I'm backstage manager for the play. Props were due today, but I still need a whole bunch of stuff (like, 6 things), and the director is rather fierce, so that's scary. I also have to deal with my crew today, where I'll basically be meeting with them and telling them to do stuff, and hoping really hard that they obey. I don't even know if they have the props they were supposed to get. And tomorrow everyone starts rehearsing with props, so I have to cover a beach ball with canvas tonight, and find fake palm fronds, and I haven't even started looking for a place to rent tables, and AAAAAH. So yeah. Just a bit stressed. That's not even covering my issues at home, or any of my other homework, which I've been neglecting in order to try to get the props in. So I'm also behind on everything else. My life is wonderful. 3
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Well, the first thing my mom did after I told her about my upcoming interview is give me unsolicited advice with a veiled insult thrown in. Technically, she did ask if she could give me some advice, but I know her. If I'd said no, I would've probably gotten a lecture about how I need to learn how to take correction or something like that. Her advice? Don't eat certain foods a few days before the interview so I won't be nervous. It's not as crazy as it sounds....or it wasn't when I was 14, anyway. My allergies are such that if I ate certain foods, I'd be more jittery and nervous than usual. But I'm past that, and she knows it. She's said as much. Honestly, I think micromanagement is her coping mechanism. When she's upset, she gets more controlling. She even told my siblings and I that she was going to get on our case even more about things like applying for jobs and school and whatnot. Why? She'd say it's because SHE wants to get out of here and SHE wants to leave soon and have everything settled, but I think it's more because bossing us around makes her feel better. So she'll do it whether we need it or not. Why can't she just say "Congratulations" and leave it at that? Why does she have to ask about the pay (like she thinks I'm dumb enough to accept a job that pays less than I could live on) and remind me that I was nervous last time? WHY? 2
Curious Anamaximder he/him Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Eating certain foods? I thought my family prescribed weird stuff.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Eating certain foods? I thought my family prescribed weird stuff. Well, back when I first learned I was allergic to additives, and I first started eating only food without them, salycylates (a natural bug repellant found in peppers, tomatoes, berries....pretty much all exciting foods) would bother me to a lesser extent. But that phase is over. She's said so. It only comes up when she wants to discredit my feelings somehow (attribute them to something I ate, and she doesn't have to accept I have reasons for feeling the way I do).
Mistrunner Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 Eating certain foods? I thought my family prescribed weird stuff. My family doesn't exactly prescribe things. They just use an old family adage:"It's probably a tumor." My family is not good at consolation. Oh and bear hugs for all. And normal hugs, and group hugs, and any type of hug you can think of.
Zathoth Posted October 21, 2015 Posted October 21, 2015 I would give you a hug, but 12 dimensional tentacles are not really made for hugging. So I'll just tell this terrible joke about how I found an album about your parents. I guess I could grow arms and give you a hug anyway though... *Grows arms* Oh look, it worked! *Hugs* 4
Briar King Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Upon just glancing at Twis post just now I was just thinking she didn't want you to eat something that would make you rip one. Think the movie Step Brothers in one of its funniest scenes. I ll have to read the entire post later when I'm not playing Destiny 1
Kaymyth she/her Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Adventures in dealing with my mother today. No, Mom, I can't come up this weekend for you to take pictures. Had you actually asked me when you were making plans, I would have told you that we were not available this weekend. Nor do we intend to cancel the plans that we already RSVP'd to two months ago to suit your desires. What's really sad is that I wound up playing some of her own passive-aggressive cards back at her. Ironically, had I not done so, she would be mad at me. Since I did do so, now she feels like she had some ownership of things and is not mad but merely disappointed. I swear, she didn't use to be like this. But the older she gets, the more like her mother and her mother's mother she gets. It's maddening. I just dearly hope and pray that the influence of my dad's genes is enough to overcome any tendencies I might have to go down that path later in life, because I do not want to put my poor husband through that crap. 4
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted October 22, 2015 Posted October 22, 2015 Adventures in dealing with my mother today. No, Mom, I can't come up this weekend for you to take pictures. Had you actually asked me when you were making plans, I would have told you that we were not available this weekend. Nor do we intend to cancel the plans that we already RSVP'd to two months ago to suit your desires. What's really sad is that I wound up playing some of her own passive-aggressive cards back at her. Ironically, had I not done so, she would be mad at me. Since I did do so, now she feels like she had some ownership of things and is not mad but merely disappointed. I swear, she didn't use to be like this. But the older she gets, the more like her mother and her mother's mother she gets. It's maddening. I just dearly hope and pray that the influence of my dad's genes is enough to overcome any tendencies I might have to go down that path later in life, because I do not want to put my poor husband through that crap. Using passive-aggressive techniques on passive-aggressive parents to calm them….I will never understand the minds of crazy parents. It's hard to imagine you being like that, though. You recognize what she's doing as passive-aggressive and wrong, so that'll give you a built-in kill switch in case you ever catch yourself starting to act or think along those same lines. Plus, I think your natural awesomeness will keep the becoming-your-mother spren at bay.
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