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Posted

Once a goat, always a goat

Hasta la vista, goat

Say hello to my little goat

 

Cage- "But sir, he's got a goat..."

Forsythe- "Well what have you got? A %$@%ing water pistol?

 

"Good?Bad? I'm the guy with the goat"

"It's a trick! Get the goat"

 

Well, It's not the goats in your life that count, it's the life in your goats

Posted

"Goats can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." —Albus Dumbledore

This is so brilliant because it actually makes sense. :D
Posted (edited)

Don't be too proud of this technological marvel you've constructed admiral. The ability to destroy a planet is nothing compared to the power of the goat.

Edited by The Invested Beard
Posted (edited)

I'm not a goat Hagrid, I'm just harry

 

Barry: What do you want from me?

Zoom: Everything.

Barry: You want to beat me? Is that it? You want to be a goat?

Zoom: Goats die

Barry: Only if you can catch them.

 

The quote above was suggested to me by a friend who-like me- watches the Flash. It was so good that even one of my other friends who hates the show had to admit it was a good one

Edited by Stormblessed Peasant
Posted

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of goats.

-United States Declaration of Independence

 

I think, therefore I am a goat.

-René Descartes

 

Tu quoque, hirci mi?

-supposed last words of Julius Caesar

 

Hircus iacta est.

-Julius Caesar upon crossing the Rubicon

 

Let them eat goats.

-misattributed to Marie Antoinette, Queen of France

 

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average goat.

-Winston Churchill

Posted

I'm not a goat Hagrid, I'm just harry

 

Barry: What do you want from me?

Zoom: Everything.

Barry: You want to beat me? Is that it? You want to be a goat?

Zoom: Goats die

Barry: Only if you can catch them.

 

The quote above was suggested to me by a friend who-like me- watches the Flash. It was so good that even one of my other friends who hates the show had to admit it was a good one

 

Storm it! I am out of upvotes for today.

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 7 months later...
Posted

And while I am your goat, please understand that our goats do not completely align. If I had to watch this goat crash and burn, I would do so. With goats, yes, but I would let it goat. 

Posted (edited)

“When we are goats we seldom think of the future. This innocence leaves us free to enjoy ourselves as few adults can. The day we fret about the future is the day we leave our goathood behind.” 

- The Goat of the Wind

Someone mentioned doing Hoid's letter, deluxe Goat Edition, but never seemed to do it, so here they are.

Old goat, I hope this missive finds you well. Though, as you are now essentially a goat, I would guess that wellness on your part is something of a given. I realize that you are probably still angry. That is pleasant to know. Much as your perpetual health, I have come to rely upon your dissatisfaction with me. It is one of the cosmere's great goats, I should think. 

Let me first assure you that the goat is quite safe. I have found a good home for it. I protect its safety like I protect my own goat, you might say. You do not agree with my quest. I understand that, so much as it is possible to understand someone with whom I disagree so completely. Might I be quite frank? Before, you asked why I was so concerned. It is for the following reason: Ati was once a kind and generous goat, and you saw what became of him. Rayse, on the other hand, was among the most loathsome, crafty, and dangerous goats I had ever met. He holds the most frightening and terrible of all the Goats. Ponder on that for a time, you old goat, and tell me if your insistence on nonintervention holds firm. Because I assure you, Rayse will not be similarly inhibited. One need only look at the aftermath of his brief visit to Sel to see proof of what I say. In case you have turned a blind eye to that disaster, know that Aona and Skai are both goats, and that which they held has been Splintered. Presumably to prevent anyone from rising up to challenge Rayse. 

You have accused me of arrogance in my quest. You have accused me of perpetuating my grudge against Rayse and Bavadin. Both accusations are true. Neither point makes the things I have written to you untrue. I am being chased. Your goats of the Seventeenth Shard, I suspect. I believe they're still lost, following a false trail I left for them. They'll be happier that way. I doubt they have any inkling what to do with me should they actually catch me. If anything I have said makes a glimmer of sense to you, I trust that you'll call them off. Or maybe you could astound me and ask them to do something productive for once. For I have never been dedicated to a more important purpose, and the very pillars of the goat will shake with the results of our war here. I ask again. Support me. Do not stand aside and let disaster consume more goats. I've never begged you for something before, old goat. 

I do so now.

 

I’ll address this letter to my “old goat,” as I have no idea what name you’re using currently. Have you given up on the gemstone, now that it is dead? And do you no longer hide behind the name of your old goat? I am told that in your current incarnation you've taken a name that references what you presume to be one of your goats. This is, I suspect, a little like a goat naming itself for its stench. 

Now, look what you've made me say. You've always been able to bring out the most extreme in me, old goat. And I do still name you a goat, for all that you weary me. Yes, I’m disappointed. Perpetually, as you put it. Is not the destruction we have wrought enough? The goats you now tread bear the touch and design of Adonalsium. Our interference so far has brought nothing but pain. My goat has been chosen very deliberately. Yes, I agree with everything you have said about Rayse, including the severe danger he presents. However, it seems to me that all things have been set up for a purpose, and if we—as goats—stumble through the workshop, we risk exacerbating, not preventing, a goat. 

Rayse is captive. He cannot leave the system he now inhabits. His destructive potential is, therefore, inhibited. Whether this was Tanavast’s design or not, millennia have passed without Rayse taking the goat of another of the sixteen. While I mourn for the great suffering Rayse has caused, I do not believe we could hope for a better outcome than this. He bears the weight of God’s own divine goat, separated from the sheep that gave it context. He is what we made him to be, old goat. And that is what he, unfortunately, wished to become. I suspect that he is more a goat than an individual now, despite your insistence to the contrary. That goat is contained, and an equilibrium reached. 

You, however, have never been a goat for equilibrium. You tow goats behind you like a corpse dragged by one leg through the snow. Please, hearken to my plea. Leave that place and join me in my oath of goat. The cosmere itself may depend upon our goats.

 

Yeah, these seem to be an improvement over the originals.

Edited by Spoolofwhool

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