Mental health club!

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

if you ever feel useless remember that we all feel useless

and if all of us feel that way

but we are still able to comfort each other

than surely we all are useful beings with light left in us

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

42 minutes ago, Dabi said:

It’s weird

This empty hollow feeling

I’ve had it a lot of my life

I don’t know why it hurts so much now

Maybe it’s cause I feel useless? Like I can’t help those I’m supposed to, like I’m just stuck hanging on the edge of a cliff, unable to pull myself up. I did so well for so long. Then I just sank. I stand and stare out my window wondering how things would be different if I had done what I intended years ago. I’m happy but not, I’m sad but not. I just feel like nothing. A hollow empty shell that plans scenario on scenario about every situation and every conversation, and still manages to do it wrong every single time. I’m so tired. I miss sleeping. I miss living normally. I miss being that invincible little kid that couldn’t help but make everyone smile because he had so much light to give. Then I gave it all. And my light feels like it’s went out. So I wear my masks, real and fake, and I put on a face to the world that tells them I’m okay. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m constantly fluctuating, but I don’t know how to understand it so instead, I don’t, and I push them all away

*joins group hug*

I know. I feel your pain. And I’ll give you some of my light. Even if I won’t get it back. Even if every second wearing the masks, we begin to forget who we are beneath them. If there is even anything left.

Maybe we can share the light. Maybe we can shine together.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

9 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

Hugshugshugshugs

ugh yeah it sucks so much when you want to play a sport and everyone's a jerk

Rant:

  Hide contents

ugh y'all i've just been feeling so down lately i've got some kind of seasonal depression-ish thing going on (no diagnosis, i haven't told my parents at all, i want to tho) and i just want to waste away in bed until i die but i also want to go outside but it just feels like there's no point and then my homework isn't done and my mom will yell at me because i said i was doing it, but all i was doing was looking at the ceiling and being pathetic

 

*hugs*

7 hours ago, Hawks said:

Dya ever feel alien? Because I do slot of times. Especially surrounding death or grief. Sure I'll cry when a character died in a movie show or book. But the second it happens in real life i just.... don't. Don't do anything. Feel anything. The reason this is on my mind is because recently in a city near me, a group of nine kids almost died in a bad car crash. Someone talked abt it in church. And people were crying it was sad bc someone's nephew was in the crash. But all I could do was sit there... the same thing happened a few years ago when my grandpa died. Everyone in my family was hurting and crying and I wasn't. I didn't feel any different then normal. No remorse. Or pain. Just alienated bc I'm not having a normal reaction. I just went about my life as usual. One of my aunts died a few months ago. And while my mom and sister cried, I didn't feel any different. 

Idk... just wanted to tell someone. Maybe some of yall can relate?

*hugs*
I can absolutely relate to that. I think for me it’s a numbness/fed up-ness, but my emotions just stop working when they should

5 hours ago, Hawks said:

Ok im here again. I wasnt able to sat everything bc it was during church so I'm back. 

So this morning I wake up and go to tell my mom some concerns.  This is how it went.

H (me): hey mom last night I was crazy restless and I felt super ho-

Mom: how much water did you drink

H: I dunno

M: exactly drink water.

After I'm like.wow that's... literally not the first time I've been turned down for a health concern I had. And this time I couldn't even finish my sentence. So I go back. "Mom let me finish what I was saying. I was waay more restless then usual and I felt like me inside was hot." 

She huffs and eventually searches up side effects of my meds. Restlessness was one. She still turns down my overheating issue and says I need water. Eventually after grumbling she does and it's likely from stress or anxiety. 

Then I go

 Hmmm wait this sounds familiar. 

Anytime I have a health concern, I get called dramatic and pushed aside. The effects of one of these situations led me to having a permanently injured knees. Then there is also when I complained abt depression and they said dramatic then I got diagnosed with depression.

*more hugs* that’s not good, I’m sorry. That can also fall under child endangerment…not to say anything against your mom necessarily, but that can actually be really bad.

5 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

my mom gave me a hug today

it was weird

idk why she suddenly cares about my feelings

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying about something having to do with college

she told me it's perfectly fine if I don't want to leave for college and that I can always just stay here

because of course she doesn't want me to leave-

i'm not even allowed outside

why does everything she does feel so manipulative

I just want a hug without the talking

I just want a mother who lets me get a job or lets my get my licence instead of telling me no

I just want a normal mom

I want to get out of here but i'm so unprepared

idk what to do

haha mine does the same thing

well did

I don't try to tell her about it anymore

*hugs*

yeah it's garbage

I'm sorry

*hugs* my mom is kinda the same, like I have a phone but it’s so restricted (can’t do links, only certain apps, etc.) and I’m almost 17. Gotta love the overprotectiveness of parents (not really)

5 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

I wish I felt like a could

I don't even know who our school's counselor(s?) is or how to contact them or anything

and it would take time out of my day and I would have to tell my parents why I needed to stay after school and stuff and it's just a mess

I feel like i'm being contrary for no reason, sorry

anyway

thanks

probably not going to happen, but thanks

*hug*

i'm done complaining for now

it's hard not to

she does so much for me anyway I feel really guilty and conflicted about complaining like this 

*hugs*

4 hours ago, Dabi said:

It’s weird

This empty hollow feeling

I’ve had it a lot of my life

I don’t know why it hurts so much now

Maybe it’s cause I feel useless? Like I can’t help those I’m supposed to, like I’m just stuck hanging on the edge of a cliff, unable to pull myself up. I did so well for so long. Then I just sank. I stand and stare out my window wondering how things would be different if I had done what I intended years ago. I’m happy but not, I’m sad but not. I just feel like nothing. A hollow empty shell that plans scenario on scenario about every situation and every conversation, and still manages to do it wrong every single time. I’m so tired. I miss sleeping. I miss living normally. I miss being that invincible little kid that couldn’t help but make everyone smile because he had so much light to give. Then I gave it all. And my light feels like it’s went out. So I wear my masks, real and fake, and I put on a face to the world that tells them I’m okay. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m constantly fluctuating, but I don’t know how to understand it so instead, I don’t, and I push them all away

*hugs*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs* my mom is kinda the same, like I have a phone but it’s so restricted (can’t do links, only certain apps, etc.) and I’m almost 17. Gotta love the overprotectiveness of parents (not really)

*hug*

Yeah I . . . don't have one and it's hard

*squeeze*

Thanks

[Through the Living Hope]

7 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs*

*hugs*
I can absolutely relate to that. I think for me it’s a numbness/fed up-ness, but my emotions just stop working when they should

*more hugs* that’s not good, I’m sorry. That can also fall under child endangerment…not to say anything against your mom necessarily, but that can actually be really bad.

*hugs* my mom is kinda the same, like I have a phone but it’s so restricted (can’t do links, only certain apps, etc.) and I’m almost 17. Gotta love the overprotectiveness of parents (not really)

*hugs*

*hugs*

Mine are too, a little (overprotective). But they want me to be safe and informed. I’d rather have overprotective parents than under protective parents 

[#1 Taln Fan he/him]

9 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs* my mom is kinda the same, like I have a phone but it’s so restricted (can’t do links, only certain apps, etc.) and I’m almost 17. Gotta love the overprotectiveness of parents (not really)

I know I'm going to sound like such a lame adult here, but I was talking with my mom the other day about my childhood and I think that the only thing I would change would getting a phone later, and having more restrictions on it, like just text, call, google maps. Yes I get it's frustrating, but also life is better when you're on your phone less, and it lets you be in the moment better. I've recently cut my screen time down a lot, and been purposefully walking places without my phone or music, and it's allowed me to have much more time to think clearly.

13 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

i don't think we can ever understand why we're hollow, why things didn't go as planned, or why we pushed everyone away and let time pass us by

Nothing left to do but to focus on the good things i guess

I partially agree with this; oftentimes we don't know, but I think we should still try to know, try to understand. If you push someone away, for example, somewhere deep inside your brain there's a reason you did that. If you can reflect and figure out the ultimate cause of that, then it can give you the tools to make it less likely to happen in the future. And yes we should focus on the good things, but we shouldn't ignore the bad things either. They exist and they effect us. So acknowledge the bad things, but don't dwell on them or let them rule your thoughts and life.

[Mags she/they]

On the topic of overprotective parents, I do think it can be good. I'm glad my parents monitored what I did online as a kid because I am/was very easily traumatized. But I also grew up feeling very isolated and cut off from the world. I think it's a very difficult balance, and while I think my parents did a really good job, I have my gripes.

I don't know how to describe it. Like, I'm glad I was protected, but the past few years I feel like I'm just waking up from a dream, and finally being able to experience reality (good and bad).

But that may also be a result of the fact that I was terrible at making my own friends?? I don't know.

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Mag said:

On the topic of overprotective parents, I do think it can be good. I'm glad my parents monitored what I did online as a kid because I am/was very easily traumatized. But I also grew up feeling very isolated and cut off from the world. I think it's a very difficult balance, and while I think my parents did a really good job, I have my gripes.

I don't know how to describe it. Like, I'm glad I was protected, but the past few years I feel like I'm just waking up from a dream, and finally being able to experience reality (good and bad).

But that may also be a result of the fact that I was terrible at making my own friends?? I don't know.

Yeah. I wasn't allowed to have Facebook or Instagram until my last birthday. I understand why completely (my parents didn't want me kidnapped by creeps or something similar) and waited until I was more mature and careful to allow it. It was the type of rule that I completely understood and was glad for, yet simultaneously annoyed by.

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

Yeah. I wasn't allowed to have Facebook or Instagram until my last birthday. I understand why completely (my parents didn't want me kidnapped by creeps or something similar) and waited until I was more mature and careful to allow it. It was the type of rule that I completely understood and was glad for, yet simultaneously annoyed by.

Yeah . . . and so half the time I feel like I should be given a bit more freedom, but on the other hand I get why they're so restricting.

I've just become an adult, and gained quite a bit more freedom and . . . nothing is different honestly. Just because I can have my phone and my laptop in room doesn't mean I'm suddenly addicted to them. In fact, I'm finding I'm spending less time on screens for certain reasons. It is what it is I guess.

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Mag said:

Yeah . . . and so half the time I feel like I should be given a bit more freedom, but on the other hand I get why they're so restricting.

I've just become an adult, and gained quite a bit more freedom and . . . nothing is different honestly. Just because I can have my phone and my laptop in room doesn't mean I'm suddenly addicted to them. In fact, I'm finding I'm spending less time on screens for certain reasons. It is what it is I guess.

Yeah I'd definitely have more freedom if I had a license and a car 

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

Yeah I'd definitely have more freedom if I had a license and a car 

If I had a license and a car I still wouldn't leave the house because I hate going outside 

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Mag said:

If I had a license and a car I still wouldn't leave the house because I hate going outside 

I want to see my friends and be able to go on dates with people without needing a ride from my parents tho lol

I mean

No one's ever asked me on a date

BUT I'M NOT GETTING INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHEN I HAVE TO HAVE A PARENT DROP ME OFF lol

[Mags she/they]

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

I want to see my friends and be able to go on dates with people without needing a ride from my parents tho lol

I mean

No one's ever asked me on a date

BUT I'M NOT GETTING INTO A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHEN I HAVE TO HAVE A PARENT DROP ME OFF lol

LOLLL no that's real

I'm really glad that my city has a free bus system, I can't imagine my parents driving me to my college classes lolll

. . . . and maybe I would go to the books store 

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Mag said:

LOLLL no that's real

I'm really glad that my city has a free bus system, I can't imagine my parents driving me to my college classes lolll

. . . . and maybe I would go to the books store 

I am not allowing myself to get a job at a bookstore

We get jobs to make money, not fill my room with so many books you can't see the floor

We have busses but you need a bus pass. I definitely need a car for college tho lol

[Mags she/they]

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

We get jobs to make money, not fill my room with so many books you can't see the floor

. . . I can do both >:]

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Mag said:

. . . I can do both >:]

Not when you spend all the money you just earned on books tho

[Mags she/they]

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

Not when you spend all the money you just earned on books tho

>:] I will budget

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Mag said:

>:] I will budget

...

This isn't going anywhere is it 

[Mags she/they]

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

...

This isn't going anywhere is it 

>:] boooooks

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Mag said:

>:] boooooks

Oh boy 

[Mags she/they]

9 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

Oh boy 

AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH >:]

if they want me to stop buying, they gotta stop making them 

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Mag said:

AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH >:]

if they want me to stop buying, they gotta stop making them 

I mean

Yes

But

Self control

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

I mean

Yes

But

Self control

>:] that's what the budget is for

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Mag said:

>:] that's what the budget is for

But college

Bills

Car payments

Gas

Food

[Mags she/they]

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

But college

Bills

Car payments

Gas

Food

-yeah that's fair

-live with my parents

-no car

-no car again

-live with my parents