Mental health club!

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

my mom gave me a hug today

it was weird

idk why she suddenly cares about my feelings

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying about something having to do with college

she told me it's perfectly fine if I don't want to leave for college and that I can always just stay here

because of course she doesn't want me to leave-

i'm not even allowed outside

why does everything she does feel so manipulative

I just want a hug without the talking

I just want a mother who lets me get a job or lets my get my licence instead of telling me no

I just want a normal mom

I want to get out of here but i'm so unprepared

idk what to do

*big hug with chin on top of your head swaying gently from side to side*

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

my mom gave me a hug today

it was weird

idk why she suddenly cares about my feelings

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying about something having to do with college

she told me it's perfectly fine if I don't want to leave for college and that I can always just stay here

because of course she doesn't want me to leave-

i'm not even allowed outside

why does everything she does feel so manipulative

I just want a hug without the talking

I just want a mother who lets me get a job or lets my get my licence instead of telling me no

I just want a normal mom

I want to get out of here but i'm so unprepared

idk what to do

*hugs*

frick, I’m so sorry your mother is manipulative, that sucks

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

1 hour ago, Hawks said:

Dya ever feel alien? Because I do slot of times. Especially surrounding death or grief. Sure I'll cry when a character died in a movie show or book. But the second it happens in real life i just.... don't. Don't do anything. Feel anything. The reason this is on my mind is because recently in a city near me, a group of nine kids almost died in a bad car crash. Someone talked abt it in church. And people were crying it was sad bc someone's nephew was in the crash. But all I could do was sit there... the same thing happened a few years ago when my grandpa died. Everyone in my family was hurting and crying and I wasn't. I didn't feel any different then normal. No remorse. Or pain. Just alienated bc I'm not having a normal reaction. I just went about my life as usual. One of my aunts died a few months ago. And while my mom and sister cried, I didn't feel any different. 

Idk... just wanted to tell someone. Maybe some of yall can relate?

*hugs*

I can relate. Sorta. When my grandma died, I felt the same. I cried more over my dog than her.

My mom tells me I need to think about other people. She thinks I just live my life only thinking about myself, never caring about others. That’s not true. I just don’t… feel the same as them.

Right now, I’m on break, and my family travelled to Peru to visit family and our friends from our old school. And my sister, who’s the same age as me, immediately rushes to meet up with all her close friends that she’s kept in touch with and spends the whole time with them. Meanwhile me… I don’t really want to see my old friends. We were kinda close, I guess. But I just… don’t  feel like I have to see them. Like as soon as we moved away, I cut ties with them. Cause I never felt that close to them in the first place.

In times like these, it’s easy to feel like an alien. Because what seems effortless to everyone else is a chore to us. A façade we can never let down.

11 minutes ago, Hawks said:

Ok im here again. I wasnt able to sat everything bc it was during church so I'm back. 

So this morning I wake up and go to tell my mom some concerns.  This is how it went.

H (me): hey mom last night I was crazy restless and I felt super ho-

Mom: how much water did you drink

H: I dunno

M: exactly drink water.

After I'm like.wow that's... literally not the first time I've been turned down for a health concern I had. And this time I couldn't even finish my sentence. So I go back. "Mom let me finish what I was saying. I was waay more restless then usual and I felt like me inside was hot." 

She huffs and eventually searches up side effects of my meds. Restlessness was one. She still turns down my overheating issue and says I need water. Eventually after grumbling she does and it's likely from stress or anxiety. 

Then I go

 Hmmm wait this sounds familiar. 

Anytime I have a health concern, I get called dramatic and pushed aside. The effects of one of these situations led me to having a permanently injured knees. Then there is also when I complained abt depression and they said dramatic then I got diagnosed with depression.

*hugs*

If I told my parents I feel depressed, or really any of the stuff I say on this thread, they would just freak out and try to get me to open up to them instead of realizing I’m hiding stuff from them for a reason. And then my mom would get mad cause I’m rejecting her help, and it would be turned on me.

5 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

my mom gave me a hug today

it was weird

idk why she suddenly cares about my feelings

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying about something having to do with college

she told me it's perfectly fine if I don't want to leave for college and that I can always just stay here

because of course she doesn't want me to leave-

i'm not even allowed outside

why does everything she does feel so manipulative

I just want a hug without the talking

I just want a mother who lets me get a job or lets my get my licence instead of telling me no

I just want a normal mom

I want to get out of here but i'm so unprepared

idk what to do

haha mine does the same thing

well did

I don't try to tell her about it anymore

*hugs*

yeah it's garbage

I'm sorry

*hugs too*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, alittleinsane said:

*hugs*

frick, I’m so sorry your mother is manipulative, that sucks

the thing is I have no idea if she was being nice or manipulative

I really hope it was the former but some of the stuff she said makes it and everything she's done up to this point makes it seem like the latter and I just don't know

so now i'm in my room crying with my door locked and writing all this and idk anymore

I think i'm just bitter

Just now, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

I can relate. Sorta. When my grandma died, I felt the same. I cried more over my dog than her.

My mom tells me I need to think about other people. She thinks I just live my life only thinking about myself, never caring about others. That’s not true. I just don’t… feel the same as them.

Right now, I’m on break, and my family travelled to Peru to visit family and our friends from our old school. And my sister, who’s the same age as me, immediately rushes to meet up with all her close friends that she’s kept in touch with and spends the whole time with them. Meanwhile me… I don’t really want to see my old friends. We were kinda close, I guess. But I just… don’t  feel like I have to see them. Like as soon as we moved away, I cut ties with them. Cause I never felt that close to them in the first place.

In times like these, it’s easy to feel like an alien. Because what seems effortless to everyone else is a chore to us. A façade we can never let down.

*hugs*

If I told my parents I feel depressed, or really any of the stuff I say on this thread, they would just freak out and try to get me to open up to them instead of realizing I’m hiding stuff from them for a reason. And then my mom would get mad cause I’m rejecting her help, and it would be turned on me.

*hugs too*

*hugs back*

5 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

*big hug with chin on top of your head swaying gently from side to side*

*squeezes*

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

the thing is I have no idea if she was being nice or manipulative

I really hope it was the former but some of the stuff she said makes it and everything she's done up to this point makes it seem like the latter and I just don't know

so now i'm in my room crying with my door locked and writing all this and idk anymore

I think i'm just bitter

*platonic kiss to the top of your head and strokes your hair*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

*platonic kiss to the top of your head and strokes your hair*

thank you

that sounds wonderful

*hugs back*

[Keke They/he]

10 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

*hugs*

yeah, “drink water” sucks

its like, yeah, mhm, but i already did? Like most times if im at the point where im telling an adult about feeling iffy, I’ve already drank water and I’m asking for genuine help

gah, adults

 

9 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

 

*hugs* thanks 

7 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

my mom gave me a hug today

it was weird

idk why she suddenly cares about my feelings

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying

maybe it was 'cus I was openly crying about something having to do with college

she told me it's perfectly fine if I don't want to leave for college and that I can always just stay here

because of course she doesn't want me to leave-

i'm not even allowed outside

why does everything she does feel so manipulative

I just want a hug without the talking

I just want a mother who lets me get a job or lets my get my licence instead of telling me no

I just want a normal mom

I want to get out of here but i'm so unprepared

idk what to do

haha mine does the same thing

well did

I don't try to tell her about it anymore

*hugs*

yeah it's garbage

I'm sorry

*hugs* jts ok. I'm in the same boat. I can't tell if she's being manipulative or being nice. But I don't want to bring that up bc she'll yell that I'm not accepting her changing. 

1 minute ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

I can relate. Sorta. When my grandma died, I felt the same. I cried more over my dog than her.

My mom tells me I need to think about other people. She thinks I just live my life only thinking about myself, never caring about others. That’s not true. I just don’t… feel the same as them.

Right now, I’m on break, and my family travelled to Peru to visit family and our friends from our old school. And my sister, who’s the same age as me, immediately rushes to meet up with all her close friends that she’s kept in touch with and spends the whole time with them. Meanwhile me… I don’t really want to see my old friends. We were kinda close, I guess. But I just… don’t  feel like I have to see them. Like as soon as we moved away, I cut ties with them. Cause I never felt that close to them in the first place.

In times like these, it’s easy to feel like an alien. Because what seems effortless to everyone else is a chore to us. A façade we can never let down.

*hugs*

If I told my parents I feel depressed, or really any of the stuff I say on this thread, they would just freak out and try to get me to open up to them instead of realizing I’m hiding stuff from them for a reason. And then my mom would get mad cause I’m rejecting her help, and it would be turned on me.

*hugs too*

*hugs* it can 100 percent relate to that. Sadly I can relate all to well 

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

the thing is I have no idea if she was being nice or manipulative

I really hope it was the former but some of the stuff she said makes it and everything she's done up to this point makes it seem like the latter and I just don't know

so now i'm in my room crying with my door locked and writing all this and idk anymore

I think i'm just bitter

Your not bitter. That's valid. Like I said. I get it.

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

thank you

that sounds wonderful

*hugs back*

Just now, Hawks said:

 

*hugs* thanks 

*hugs* jts ok. I'm in the same boat. I can't tell if she's being manipulative or being nice. But I don't want to bring that up bc she'll yell that I'm not accepting her changing. 

*hugs* it can 100 percent relate to that. Sadly I can relate all to well 

Your not bitter. That's valid. Like I said. I get it.

You. Get over here. 

*hugs both*

Il you both 

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

6 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

the thing is I have no idea if she was being nice or manipulative

I really hope it was the former but some of the stuff she said makes it and everything she's done up to this point makes it seem like the latter and I just don't know

so now i'm in my room crying with my door locked and writing all this and idk anymore

I think i'm just bitter

*hugs back*

*squeezes*

1 minute ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs* thanks 

*hugs* jts ok. I'm in the same boat. I can't tell if she's being manipulative or being nice. But I don't want to bring that up bc she'll yell that I'm not accepting her changing. 

*hugs* it can 100 percent relate to that. Sadly I can relate all to well 

Your not bitter. That's valid. Like I said. I get it.

*sits down next to both of you and hugs*

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

You. Get over here. 

*hugs both*

Il you both 

Ily too. *hugs*

Just now, Hoid Slayer said:

*sits down next to both of you and hugs*

*huggssssiieeeeess*

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs* thanks 

*hugs* jts ok. I'm in the same boat. I can't tell if she's being manipulative or being nice. But I don't want to bring that up bc she'll yell that I'm not accepting her changing. 

*hugs* it can 100 percent relate to that. Sadly I can relate all to well 

Your not bitter. That's valid. Like I said. I get it.

*sigh* same with mine.

*squeezes*

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

You. Get over here. 

*hugs both*

Il you both 

Just now, Hoid Slayer said:

*sits down next to both of you and hugs*

thanks guys

love you guys too

1 minute ago, Hawks said:

Ily too. *hugs*

*huggssssiieeeeess*

 

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

*sigh* same with mine.

*squeezes*

thanks guys

love you guys too

 

*hugs but no let's go*

Ofc

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*sigh* same with mine.

*squeezes*

thanks guys

love you guys too

 

 

Just now, Hawks said:

*hugs but no let's go*

Ofc

Y’all, and everyone else in this thread, are completely valid and so are your feelings. Not everything should be shrugged off like this. I would encourage both of you to see your school counselor to have a safe place to express yourself and not be shrugged off 

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

 

Y’all, and everyone else in this thread, are completely valid and so are your feelings. Not everything should be shrugged off like this. I would encourage both of you to see your school counselor to have a safe place to express yourself and not be shrugged off 

I talk to my therapist. Dw

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

18 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

the thing is I have no idea if she was being nice or manipulative

I really hope it was the former but some of the stuff she said makes it and everything she's done up to this point makes it seem like the latter and I just don't know

so now i'm in my room crying with my door locked and writing all this and idk anymore

I think i'm just bitter

*hugs back*

*squeezes*

It’s ok to be bitter

if i thought my mother had been manipulating me, but i didn’t know if she really was, I’d be bitter too

just try not to be angry at yourself

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

3 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

Y’all, and everyone else in this thread, are completely valid and so are your feelings. Not everything should be shrugged off like this. I would encourage both of you to see your school counselor to have a safe place to express yourself and not be shrugged off 

I wish I felt like a could

I don't even know who our school's counselor(s?) is or how to contact them or anything

and it would take time out of my day and I would have to tell my parents why I needed to stay after school and stuff and it's just a mess

I feel like i'm being contrary for no reason, sorry

anyway

thanks

probably not going to happen, but thanks

*hug*

i'm done complaining for now

1 minute ago, alittleinsane said:

It’s ok to be bitter

if i thought my mother had been manipulating me, but i didn’t know if she really was, I’d be bitter too

just try not to be angry at yourself

it's hard not to

she does so much for me anyway I feel really guilty and conflicted about complaining like this 

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Through The Living Glass said:

I wish I felt like a could

I don't even know who our school's counselor(s?) is or how to contact them or anything

and it would take time out of my day and I would have to tell my parents why I needed to stay after school and stuff and it's just a mess

I feel like i'm being contrary for no reason, sorry

anyway

thanks

probably not going to happen, but thanks

*hug*

i'm done complaining for now

PM’s open 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

PM’s open 

thanks

maybe 

that's nice of you

we'll see

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

9 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

I wish I felt like a could

I don't even know who our school's counselor(s?) is or how to contact them or anything

and it would take time out of my day and I would have to tell my parents why I needed to stay after school and stuff and it's just a mess

I feel like i'm being contrary for no reason, sorry

anyway

thanks

probably not going to happen, but thanks

*hug*

i'm done complaining for now

it's hard not to

she does so much for me anyway I feel really guilty and conflicted about complaining like this 

She is your mother, most of what she does for you she is obligated to do, and you should not feel like you owe her for things like education, home, food, clothes, etc

Do not hate yourself

It may just lead to hating the entire world, and it’s better to hate one thing or one person or one thought than to lead yourself down that path

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

5 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

She is your mother, most of what she does for you she is obligated to do, and you should not feel like you owe her for things like education, home, food, clothes, etc

Do not hate yourself

It may just lead to hating the entire world, and it’s better to hate one thing or one person or one thought than to lead yourself down that path

thanks

*hug*

I'll try

You too, yk

[Existential]

It’s weird

This empty hollow feeling

I’ve had it a lot of my life

I don’t know why it hurts so much now

Maybe it’s cause I feel useless? Like I can’t help those I’m supposed to, like I’m just stuck hanging on the edge of a cliff, unable to pull myself up. I did so well for so long. Then I just sank. I stand and stare out my window wondering how things would be different if I had done what I intended years ago. I’m happy but not, I’m sad but not. I just feel like nothing. A hollow empty shell that plans scenario on scenario about every situation and every conversation, and still manages to do it wrong every single time. I’m so tired. I miss sleeping. I miss living normally. I miss being that invincible little kid that couldn’t help but make everyone smile because he had so much light to give. Then I gave it all. And my light feels like it’s went out. So I wear my masks, real and fake, and I put on a face to the world that tells them I’m okay. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m constantly fluctuating, but I don’t know how to understand it so instead, I don’t, and I push them all away

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Dabi said:

It’s weird

This empty hollow feeling

I’ve had it a lot of my life

I don’t know why it hurts so much now

Maybe it’s cause I feel useless? Like I can’t help those I’m supposed to, like I’m just stuck hanging on the edge of a cliff, unable to pull myself up. I did so well for so long. Then I just sank. I stand and stare out my window wondering how things would be different if I had done what I intended years ago. I’m happy but not, I’m sad but not. I just feel like nothing. A hollow empty shell that plans scenario on scenario about every situation and every conversation, and still manages to do it wrong every single time. I’m so tired. I miss sleeping. I miss living normally. I miss being that invincible little kid that couldn’t help but make everyone smile because he had so much light to give. Then I gave it all. And my light feels like it’s went out. So I wear my masks, real and fake, and I put on a face to the world that tells them I’m okay. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m constantly fluctuating, but I don’t know how to understand it so instead, I don’t, and I push them all away

Yo

Join our group hug

@Hawks @Through The Living Glass

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

4 minutes ago, Dabi said:

It’s weird

This empty hollow feeling

I’ve had it a lot of my life

I don’t know why it hurts so much now

Maybe it’s cause I feel useless? Like I can’t help those I’m supposed to, like I’m just stuck hanging on the edge of a cliff, unable to pull myself up. I did so well for so long. Then I just sank. I stand and stare out my window wondering how things would be different if I had done what I intended years ago. I’m happy but not, I’m sad but not. I just feel like nothing. A hollow empty shell that plans scenario on scenario about every situation and every conversation, and still manages to do it wrong every single time. I’m so tired. I miss sleeping. I miss living normally. I miss being that invincible little kid that couldn’t help but make everyone smile because he had so much light to give. Then I gave it all. And my light feels like it’s went out. So I wear my masks, real and fake, and I put on a face to the world that tells them I’m okay. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m constantly fluctuating, but I don’t know how to understand it so instead, I don’t, and I push them all away

oh . . .

*squeezes*

3 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

Yo

Join our group hug

@Hawks @Through The Living Glass

*squeezes all*

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

2 minutes ago, Dabi said:

It’s weird

This empty hollow feeling

I’ve had it a lot of my life

I don’t know why it hurts so much now

Maybe it’s cause I feel useless? Like I can’t help those I’m supposed to, like I’m just stuck hanging on the edge of a cliff, unable to pull myself up. I did so well for so long. Then I just sank. I stand and stare out my window wondering how things would be different if I had done what I intended years ago. I’m happy but not, I’m sad but not. I just feel like nothing. A hollow empty shell that plans scenario on scenario about every situation and every conversation, and still manages to do it wrong every single time. I’m so tired. I miss sleeping. I miss living normally. I miss being that invincible little kid that couldn’t help but make everyone smile because he had so much light to give. Then I gave it all. And my light feels like it’s went out. So I wear my masks, real and fake, and I put on a face to the world that tells them I’m okay. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m constantly fluctuating, but I don’t know how to understand it so instead, I don’t, and I push them all away

oh, realrealrealrealreallll

*hugs*

it's ok, we can be hollow together

i don't think we can ever understand why we're hollow, why things didn't go as planned, or why we pushed everyone away and let time pass us by

Nothing left to do but to focus on the good things i guess

[Keke They/he]

3 minutes ago, Dabi said:

It’s weird

This empty hollow feeling

I’ve had it a lot of my life

I don’t know why it hurts so much now

Maybe it’s cause I feel useless? Like I can’t help those I’m supposed to, like I’m just stuck hanging on the edge of a cliff, unable to pull myself up. I did so well for so long. Then I just sank. I stand and stare out my window wondering how things would be different if I had done what I intended years ago. I’m happy but not, I’m sad but not. I just feel like nothing. A hollow empty shell that plans scenario on scenario about every situation and every conversation, and still manages to do it wrong every single time. I’m so tired. I miss sleeping. I miss living normally. I miss being that invincible little kid that couldn’t help but make everyone smile because he had so much light to give. Then I gave it all. And my light feels like it’s went out. So I wear my masks, real and fake, and I put on a face to the world that tells them I’m okay. I’m not. I’m exhausted. I’m happy, I’m sad, I’m constantly fluctuating, but I don’t know how to understand it so instead, I don’t, and I push them all away

Its ok. That's real. *hugs* i can't offer advice 

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

Yo

Join our group hug

@Hawks @Through The Living Glass

*hug*