Mental health club!

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

6 minutes ago, TheSpearThatBroke said:

I feel like *insert curse word not allowed on the shard*. My life's gone to *insert curse word not allowed on the shard* and I have no energy for almost anything. I am literally living out a reoccurring nightmare everyday and have been for two months. 

And to top it all off I'm not even allowed to die. And damn but I wish I was.

*hugs*

[Keke They/he]

33 minutes ago, TheSpearThatBroke said:

I feel like *insert curse word not allowed on the shard*. My life's gone to *insert curse word not allowed on the shard* and I have no energy for almost anything. I am literally living out a reoccurring nightmare everyday and have been for two months. 

And to top it all off I'm not even allowed to die. And damn but I wish I was.

*all the hugs!*

Dont die no dying!!! Ok? If you die i will cry!! 

*hugs hugs* whats been happening???

[KnightSkye Reforged They/Them]

21 minutes ago, Hawks said:

*all the hugs!*

Dont die no dying!!! Ok? If you die i will cry!! 

*hugs hugs* whats been happening???

Same thing that I mentioned here two months ago. My closest friend, whom I took as my sister, has been told to cut off contact with me and went along with it cause she had been praying about something adjacent to it and thought this was the right thing even though she hated it. 

She is suffering now because of it. She's chosen to leave the shard for a while, cause she thinks i need the support here more than she does. I've seen her in passing and she looks like shite. She mentioned to one of my siblings that she hasn't done her daily work out in two months (which was something she loved) she has bags under her eyes and I can tell she's been crying a lot. Her husband who is also my friend looks more and more tired every time I see him. 

None of us are benefiting from this in any way. 

So I'm trying to fix it. But right now, and for the past two months, my life has been Hell. 

Edited September 27, 2025 by TheSpearThatBroke

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

2 minutes ago, TheSpearThatBroke said:

Same thing that I mentioned here two months ago. My closest friend, whom I took as my sister, has been told to cut off contact with me and went along with it cause she had been praying about something adjacent to it and thought this was the right thing even though she hated it. 

She is suffering now because of it. She's chosen to leave the shard for a while, cause she thinks i need the support here more than she does. I've seen her in passing and she looks like shite. She mentioned to one of my siblings that she hasn't done her daily work out in two months (which was something she loved) she has bags under her eyes and I can tell she's been crying a lot. Her husband who is also my friend looks more and more tired every time I see him. 

None of us are benefiting from this in any way. 

So I'm trying to fix it. But right now, and for the past two months, my life has been Hell. 

*hugs*

*hugs*

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

Hey guys! Sorry I’ve been gone a while, and it’s past midnight so I ain’t going back and responding to everything (so sorry if I miss you) but I’ll try to answer some things.

On 9/22/2025 at 4:07 PM, Tam Tucker said:

There is a story im working on. It's a story I have to write. It's cyperpunk (I read Neromancer a while back. My cyperpunk pales in comparison.) It's topics are heavy. I lived a heavy life n this is a personal story. It's made up why I choose cyperpunk as a genre. If I could pm scenes to you to get feedback. That would be wonderful. 

I would LOVE to read your story. I’m also something of an aspiring writer, myself.

On 9/23/2025 at 3:01 AM, Tam Tucker said:

Trigger warning for heavy subjects n I talk about Jesus which is my faith n worldview. 

 

I wrote a letter to a lady at church recently, and I don't know if anyone on this platform has been through sexual abuse before. I personally haven't myself, but my sister has, and all the things I had to go through with her. It's a heartbreaking thing and leaves damage behind. I edited the letter to post it online for safety reasons. It's from a Christian worldview. I just want you to know that you are loved and I stand with you. 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

    As someone who has watched someone I deeply love, my little sister, go through so much. As a big brother who had to step in to be a father to a little girl who never had one. Our father just left us, the man her mother married. He was a monster more than a man.
    I understand that this is hard, as I have seen the results firsthand of the damage that it brings. I have felt the anger that this injustice brings. 
    I am holding myself back right now; there is so much pain here. I know that this sucks. I can only speak for myself. I was just a little kid, I couldn’t do a thing, and I carried guilt about it for years. 
Right now, my sissy and I, she calls me Bubba, have always when the few times I saw her growing up. We spent most of our childhoods apart. Now we are making up lost time. I will do anything and be anything that she needs me to be. Right now, it is a brother and an uncle to her daughter. That was hard. How many times was I told she was a lost cause, that I should give up on her? She was suicidal, and if she died without me doing everything in my power, well, I would have been broken into a million pieces. So I was there, and the only thing that got me through that was thinking about her and her soul. 
    My favorite passage in the Bible is John 10, and I love John 10:10: “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”  
     Speaking this because I don’t feel good enough. My biological father chose drugs over me, and that has always hurt. It got to the point that even though I know better, sometimes I think that when I get to heaven, which I know that I will, God will put me in some corner of heaven where He doesn’t have to be around me because I am not good enough. Children are a gift from God, and they are the future. I say this because look at my life, adopted, pain, unhealed trauma, unhealthy coping mechanisms. That is my family's past, and I told my sister that we have to break this crazy cycle, shatter it in a million pieces. Live our lives our own way, differently from those in the past. I prayed to God that he would kill me if I turned into a man like my biological father, cause I would be better off dead than to live and damage lives like he had done. 
    Well, in conclusion, God is good. He will guide us, and I do believe that the things we carry will be gone in the end. I have a broken mind that will be made right, and this anger and pain I carry will be gone, too. Justice will be served to those outside of Christ. Take comfort in the fact that God hasn’t forgotten the things done to you and that he loves you. I know God is brokenhearted over this; how many countless tears have God and I wept together. God hates hurting children; little ones should be protected. 
    My heart is with you. I will stand with you in this. 

God loves you 
Tam Tucker

 

On 9/24/2025 at 11:20 AM, alittleinsane said:

hi

*hugs for everyone*

i'm back i haven't really posted here in a while lol i think i was afraid of like relapsing into bad thoughts?? idk

  Reveal hidden contents

 

today i found this video it is very soothing except for that i am unaccustomed to acceptance and started crying but yea 10/10 would recommend 

On 9/25/2025 at 4:49 AM, Tam Tucker said:

I melted down over personal reasons. My hand hurts other than that im fine. Hope things can get better. I believe in love n that loving a person can make them a better person as you walk beside them. It's messy and hard at times though

 

*deep, prolonged squeezeI to all of you*

14 hours ago, Hawks said:

Damn this topic got huge, trying to tag everyone for these check in’s make it very very long so here we go. 

Ok so its bee a bit since we had one of these but i want to make sure everyone is fine.while the thread has been less active i dont know if thats good or bad.

first, how is everyone doing? Whats been happening!!

second, can we help you with anything? If so how???

tags time

@Ancient Elantrian @alittleinsane @Block @CoderDrag0n8 @DAVEY @Dilly honor spren @Dragonheir @Hoid Slayer @Honors ghost @Ironwill2112 @Just A Silvereye @kajsa @Bird Furious @Belandrius Ohhmar @Kansas Stormcursed @Through The Living Glass @mippo @MirkerLurker @Pariah @Shatter @Sherma Main @SpartanBrigade @strmblsd @Tam Tucker @The Wandering Wizard @TheSpearThatBroke @TwinStorm @VieB13 @Vyzkel @YouCantHaveMySandwich  @Seonid @#1 Taln Fan

ok did i miss anyone? This thread has GROWN so much golly gee

IT REALLY HAS

So… I’ve kinda got something to get off my chest

There’s this girl I like; really, I’ve liked her for a while now, since like… May?

But… she has a boyfriend now. And it’s weird. We’re still close friends, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt their relationship. But at the same time, I still have feelings for her I know I can’t act on. And every time I see them together, it’s just… weird.

And maybe the worst part is that… I feel like I had a chance. Last year, we grew close. We were texting, and the more I look back on it, the more I feel like I really had an opportunity. But I fumbled it. I was in a bad place at the time, and I isolated myself. I couldn’t take the step. And then this other guy happened. I was there throughout their whole relationship, giving her advice. They got together, and she’s happy. But I’m not.

So… yeah. Just felt like ranting a little.

12 hours ago, YouCantHaveMySandwich said:

umm im doing fine. the new popularity poll came out and im 3rd from the bottom for (high school grade i'm in). oh well i was 2nd for most of last year.

i'm not like depressed bc of it or anything im just sad theyre missing out on me

popularity is overrated anyway. it dilutes your other friendships.

other than the other issue of insanity i'm fine

A popularity poll feels a little messed up - what’s the point of it? To make the popular kids feel good about themselves at the expense of everyone else?

11 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

Thank you so much for asking :))

I've had a rough couple weeks but I'm feeling really good today

I'm trying to stay optimistic for the future and keep going even when things don't make sense 

@𝖂𝖍 

@𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗

AUGH WHY IS IT SO HARD TO PING YOU @WhiteHairedDrifter

I'm talking about this scudhead https://www.17thshard.com/profile/65790-𝖂𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖊/

anyway, he's great and he's helped a lot so thank you Whirte 

He's great

And of course my beautiful mother and my beautiful wife @Through The Living Glass and @kajsa respectively

I'm still playing guitar and I'm trying to write more 

Enjoying both of those 

Got into BYUI on accident, but I wanna go to Provo if I can so I'm working on that 

YAY ELAN

Good job

Yeesh... good luck. 

Nice work on the novel! 

I love you, my son.

Popularity polls are dumb... like....... why................

(love ur username :3)

Ew sick. Good luck getting better. 

Let us know if you ever need anything. 

*hugs*

Hai!

HAAAAALYYYYYYY

How’s it going?

3 hours ago, Hawks said:

Sorry, I swear idk how people manage big topics. Honestly when I started this it was more of a cry for help, looking for people who could help me get on my feet and stay there for a while. And .. well im glad to say not only did I find people to help me, ive helped others, and the whole spiel! It makes me really happy! I geuss that's my two cents right now. I gotta type up responses to everyone. 

YES

You’ve helped us all so much

Really, Hawks. I cannot express how thankful I am

Typing up responses to everyone is so real

6 minutes ago, TheSpearThatBroke said:

Same thing that I mentioned here two months ago. My closest friend, whom I took as my sister, has been told to cut off contact with me and went along with it cause she had been praying about something adjacent to it and thought this was the right thing even though she hated it. 

She is suffering now because of it. She's chosen to leave the shard for a while, cause she thinks i need the support here more than she does. I've seen her in passing and she looks like shite. She mentioned to one of my siblings that she hasn't done her daily work out in two months (which was something she loved) she has bags under her eyes and I can tell she's been crying a lot. Her husband who is also my friend looks more and more tired every time I see him. 

None of us are benefiting from this in any way. 

So I'm trying to fix it. But right now, and for the past two months, my life has been Hell. 

Dang

*squeeze*

You’re entire situation is so messed up, and I wish I could do something to help you

I think I know who the friend your referring to is, squeezeI for her as well

I hope things improve for both of you. But whatever happens, we’re always here - even if I’m not actually here here as much as I would like

…

To all the people who had good news, yay! To all the people who are struggling - I feel you. And I will send all the strength I can your way.

You’re awesome.

Don’t forget it.

[Dilly honor spren she/her]

6 hours ago, TheSpearThatBroke said:

I feel like *insert curse word not allowed on the shard*. My life's gone to *insert curse word not allowed on the shard* and I have no energy for almost anything. I am literally living out a reoccurring nightmare everyday and have been for two months. 

And to top it all off I'm not even allowed to die. And damn but I wish I was.

*all the hugs ever*

no. no dying. its not good for you. 

*hugsssss*

[Tam Tucker]

15 hours ago, kajsa said:

hey dudes.

things have been pretty alright lately; life is decent enough, but i've been struggling a little bit with body image, self-worth, and belonging recently. nothing too crazy/serious, but yep. also trying not to get burnt out with school and extracurriculars and AP while still trying to be a good student and uphold my being a gifted kid or whatever :// it's funny how the older you get, the more that kinda fades away, and it's kinda weird seeing like how much of my self-worth i put in how smart or talented i am like in regards to those around me yk?

i'm also currently dirt poor. like... no money. zero. i have like 24 cents in savings. i need a job ://

but yeah i've just kind been questioning a lot of the things going on in my life recently a lot. friendships, family relationships, etc. wondering if i'll ever date someone or if i'm going to be alone for my whole life. trying to figure out if i want to go to college or not, and what scholarships i should apply for, and what school i should choose, and... those fun things lol. i guess i've been kinda emotionally distant with my friends and family lately. i've been pretty tightly wound and like one single thing can kinda set me off. idk. it's weird but yeah anyway

This is my opinion, with the things I noticed living life. Life is in stages and moving from stage to stage old things die n new are born. You are leaving childhood behind n there's grief there. That's alright its normal. Be aware of this be content in the present n work towards the future. 

I also noticed that wisdom is better. Applying what you know. Smart people can be fools n handicapped people can be wise. All of us have are own lives n whatever we are born with. I also think the comparison game is foolish. That all it does is cause strife. Appreciate what you have been given. You are you, you can only do what you can. 

I think that you are stressed out with the overwhelming amount of info there is on colleges. I know i got overwhelmed n I went into the trades. I have a job in maintenance, my job is to preventive maintenance n safety. Which is make sure everyone goes home in one piece. 

Also just be you start friendships. See if it grows into more. Right now just focus on you. That is what you r going to bring to a relationship. It is better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. Enjoy being single. I understand how you feel. I got married in my late 20s. Take your time n find someone who loves you n will grow with you. 

[Tam Tucker]

Trigger warning, I talk about the death of my dads and I talk about God. Also, drugs and neglect of babies, and serious life-threatening situations I was in. 

 

I want to talk about something that happened in the past, like 2020. That was the year that I lost both my dads within 2 months of each other. My adopted dad died of cancer. I took him to the hospital, and he never came back out. He was gone in 4 days, and we weren't allowed to see him since it was in April, and no one had a clue what was going on. He was my hero, the one who raised me into the man that I am now. I miss him all the time and look forward to seeing him again one day, where we never have to part again. 

One time, he told me he had a dream of holding a baby in a room full of weeping people. He told me that God was telling him that if he didn't take care of me. I was going to die. I have had this scar on my leg always has child. I was told that there was a window pane leaning in a closet. I climbed on top of the window. I fell through it and started screaming. Told that I was bleeding all over the place. My young mother, who had me at 16 freaking out, wrapping me in a towel, trying to stop the bleeding while taking me to the hospital. She lost me after that and later on gave me to the people who adopted me. I really do believe that after I stopped breathing on my adopted dad had to rush me to the hospital. If a similar thing like the glass situation happened, I would be dead. 

You know that was the kind of person my dad was, the kind of person to crawl into an oxygen tent for a confused, scared baby. He was a kind, flawed man whom I always respected, and I hope he is at peace and looking down on me with pride in his heart. Maybe I should post the poem I wrote about him, called Father's Son. 

Now, my biological father was messy. He was trying to cross a highway and got hit by a work truck. One of the pickup trucks has toolboxes in the back. So I am with my biological mother going to the hospital to get there and find out that this group of women I will call the Harpies got there first and lied, saying that they were his sisters.

These Harpies are screeching at the top of their lungs about things that still make no sense. The ugly truth is that they were just using him for his money, which he got from the government. All to feed their drug addiction, after he is gone, I guess they lost their house, and the only thing I have to say is you reap what you sow. 

Anyway, enough about the Harpies, just know that they made this whole situation pointlessly dramatic and complicated than it needed to be. That's because of them I didn't get to grief the little I had with this man. My relationship with my biological father was barely there. I tried, I even visited him in jail and wrote letters trying to make something. He would always go back to drugs. 

 I'm writing this because I wonder if I did the right thing. I believe that everyone deserves respect when it comes to death. No one should die alone. Out of respect, I was there for a man who was never there for me. Does that make me a better person? Is there even such a thing? Is it just that I value respect so much that I put my feelings aside and respect a life that was, and the grief over the things we never had? Did I do the right thing? 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

8 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

 

So… I’ve kinda got something to get off my chest

There’s this girl I like; really, I’ve liked her for a while now, since like… May?

But… she has a boyfriend now. And it’s weird. We’re still close friends, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt their relationship. But at the same time, I still have feelings for her I know I can’t act on. And every time I see them together, it’s just… weird.

And maybe the worst part is that… I feel like I had a chance. Last year, we grew close. We were texting, and the more I look back on it, the more I feel like I really had an opportunity. But I fumbled it. I was in a bad place at the time, and I isolated myself. I couldn’t take the step. And then this other guy happened. I was there throughout their whole relationship, giving her advice. They got together, and she’s happy. But I’m not.

So… yeah. Just felt like ranting a little.

 

 

HAAAAALYYYYYYY

How’s it going?

 

That situation

…

is somewhat familiar 

lol

 

I’m actually doing pretty well! I’m prolly gonna be on less for quite a while, but I’m doing well. 

How about you? 

26 minutes ago, Tam Tucker said:

Trigger warning, I talk about the death of my dads and I talk about God. Also, drugs and neglect of babies, and serious life-threatening situations I was in. 

 

I want to talk about something that happened in the past, like 2020. That was the year that I lost both my dads within 2 months of each other. My adopted dad died of cancer. I took him to the hospital, and he never came back out. He was gone in 4 days, and we weren't allowed to see him since it was in April, and no one had a clue what was going on. He was my hero, the one who raised me into the man that I am now. I miss him all the time and look forward to seeing him again one day, where we never have to part again. 

One time, he told me he had a dream of holding a baby in a room full of weeping people. He told me that God was telling him that if he didn't take care of me. I was going to die. I have had this scar on my leg always has child. I was told that there was a window pane leaning in a closet. I climbed on top of the window. I fell through it and started screaming. Told that I was bleeding all over the place. My young mother, who had me at 16 freaking out, wrapping me in a towel, trying to stop the bleeding while taking me to the hospital. She lost me after that and later on gave me to the people who adopted me. I really do believe that after I stopped breathing on my adopted dad had to rush me to the hospital. If a similar thing like the glass situation happened, I would be dead. 

You know that was the kind of person my dad was, the kind of person to crawl into an oxygen tent for a confused, scared baby. He was a kind, flawed man whom I always respected, and I hope he is at peace and looking down on me with pride in his heart. Maybe I should post the poem I wrote about him, called Father's Son. 

Now, my biological father was messy. He was trying to cross a highway and got hit by a work truck. One of the pickup trucks has toolboxes in the back. So I am with my biological mother going to the hospital to get there and find out that this group of women I will call the Harpies got there first and lied, saying that they were his sisters.

These Harpies are screeching at the top of their lungs about things that still make no sense. The ugly truth is that they were just using him for his money, which he got from the government. All to feed their drug addiction, after he is gone, I guess they lost their house, and the only thing I have to say is you reap what you sow. 

Anyway, enough about the Harpies, just know that they made this whole situation pointlessly dramatic and complicated than it needed to be. That's because of them I didn't get to grief the little I had with this man. My relationship with my biological father was barely there. I tried, I even visited him in jail and wrote letters trying to make something. He would always go back to drugs. 

 I'm writing this because I wonder if I did the right thing. I believe that everyone deserves respect when it comes to death. No one should die alone. Out of respect, I was there for a man who was never there for me. Does that make me a better person? Is there even such a thing? Is it just that I value respect so much that I put my feelings aside and respect a life that was, and the grief over the things we never had? Did I do the right thing? 

Gosh, that’s a lot. 

*hugs*

It sounds like you made an effort to reach out, which is very respectable. I’d say you did the right thing, but ultimately that’s up to you. 

[Tam Tucker]

5 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

 

Gosh, that’s a lot. 

*hugs*

It sounds like you made an effort to reach out, which is very respectable. I’d say you did the right thing, but ultimately that’s up to you. 

Thank you. Everyone is kind on here. It's nice to be heard. 

[Dilly honor spren she/her]

*hugs for everyone* 

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

On 9/26/2025 at 4:48 PM, Hawks said:

Damn this topic got huge, trying to tag everyone for these check in’s make it very very long so here we go. 

Ok so its bee a bit since we had one of these but i want to make sure everyone is fine.while the thread has been less active i dont know if thats good or bad.

first, how is everyone doing? Whats been happening!!

second, can we help you with anything? If so how???

tags time

@Ancient Elantrian @alittleinsane @Block @CoderDrag0n8 @DAVEY @Dilly honor spren @Dragonheir @Hoid Slayer @Honors ghost @Ironwill2112 @Just A Silvereye @kajsa @Bird Furious @Belandrius Ohhmar @Kansas Stormcursed @Through The Living Glass @mippo @MirkerLurker @Pariah @Shatter @Sherma Main @SpartanBrigade @strmblsd @Tam Tucker @The Wandering Wizard @TheSpearThatBroke @TwinStorm @VieB13 @Vyzkel @YouCantHaveMySandwich  @Seonid @#1 Taln Fan

ok did i miss anyone? This thread has GROWN so much golly gee

Hey, thanks for asking!

I'm... good?

Okay maybe not that good

No, really most of the time I'm okay

Been seeing lots of family these past few days

Birthdays and visits and all that

So that's cool

But as soon as school and work come into the picture

Every little talk feels daunting

I try to delay them as much as possible, which is the kind of things that caused me lots of trouble in the past and why I am not ever ever learning why do I behave like I want a repeat of the last years because I certainly don't 

And also there's a lot of anxieties around this being the last year and going to work next year

Like an actual job

I'm scared I won't be able to do it

There's a part of me that just wants to stay in the familiar ground of school

Even though... ive never actually been good in that school

But familiar bad is still familiar I guess

So that's where I'm at

Scared of the past scared of the present scared of the future

Which often turns into frustration at everything and nothing all at once which is great and helps me greatly going on with things

 

 

Oh btw, to everyone else who's posted

*hugs so tightly*

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

6 hours ago, Just A Silvereye said:

Hey, thanks for asking!

I'm... good?

Okay maybe not that good

No, really most of the time I'm okay

Been seeing lots of family these past few days

Birthdays and visits and all that

So that's cool

But as soon as school and work come into the picture

Every little talk feels daunting

I try to delay them as much as possible, which is the kind of things that caused me lots of trouble in the past and why I am not ever ever learning why do I behave like I want a repeat of the last years because I certainly don't 

And also there's a lot of anxieties around this being the last year and going to work next year

Like an actual job

I'm scared I won't be able to do it

There's a part of me that just wants to stay in the familiar ground of school

Even though... ive never actually been good in that school

But familiar bad is still familiar I guess

So that's where I'm at

Scared of the past scared of the present scared of the future

Which often turns into frustration at everything and nothing all at once which is great and helps me greatly going on with things

 

 

Oh btw, to everyone else who's posted

*hugs so tightly*

I completely understand

maybe not completely

but a lot

school is hard and life is hard and I just wanna sleep forever and not ever do anything ever again some days becsuse I don’t want to let myself I down for the upteenth time

i don’t know if this is applicable at all, but it’s been on my mind a lot 

my mom told me that wanting to give up is our brain’s mechanism of helping us avoid discomfort and failure because if we don’t even try, we don’t have to feel the discomfort of trying 

and that we can appreciate it but fight it too

obviously we still need to take care of ourselves 

but

its kinda nice to know it’s not my fault when I feel like that

that it’s just my brain doing its best 

even if its best is not helping me very much 

all that ramble aside

Silver, you’re going to be great. You’ve got this, k? Take your time. Breathe. One step at a time. 

[Vielence She/Her]

On 9/26/2025 at 6:58 PM, Dilly honor spren said:

*hugs* *lots of hugs*

that really is awfully

(glad your allergies are fading they really do suck)

*hugs*

it will all work out eventually were here for you 

*more hugs*

that's so true good therapists are like impossible to find 

glad that your doing better

*hugs because everyone needs hugs*

(you seem a lot like my older sister too just going to say (shes awesome so this is meant as a compliment))

Thanks Dilly  I'm doing better. 
But my brother got the stomach bug. 

Gah so much for a weekend.

On 9/26/2025 at 8:59 PM, Hawks said:

Ooh smort person 

*hugs!!!!* 

Sorry, I swear idk how people manage big topics. Honestly when I started this it was more of a cry for help, looking for people who could help me get on my feet and stay there for a while. And .. well im glad to say not only did I find people to help me, ive helped others, and the whole spiel! It makes me really happy! I geuss that's my two cents right now. I gotta type up responses to everyone. 

Also good will *pats pat* good took care of yourself, you deserve it!!!

Note for future me: starter typing at 7:46 mst. 

*HUGS* 

Ooh dysphoria sucks big time!! Itd nice to meet you to!! I havent seen you around. But maybe i have just havent gotten to those notifications yet xD

*HUGS HUGS*

ooh okay! That's good. And im glad your getting better. And most certainly yes. Im looking forward to tge winter to!

Oh yay!!! You got into byu!!!! That's rad haly!!! And alot of hugs to you. Im glad whirte and glass and kasja have helped you. *hugsss*

Yay chocolate!! Dilly dairy is the best. Hehe Dilly dairy. XD *happy hugs*

*hugs* eeek! Ap seminar!!! Agh I almost had to take that but I quickly got the hell outa it. 

Good luck man!!

Oh vie! Aagh thar was alot!!! I hope your able to calm down a bit. And that your cat gets better!!, oh wait you ssid kitty is fine. Just saw thar. But my point still stands. *Hugs* tomorrow better be better or i shall fight it. 

I feel so much of that kaj *hugs* make sure with all your stuff you remember to take care of yourself. Honestly ok! While it seems important to stay being the "smart or gifted one" its important to remember your human. 

Also im sure you can find a partner!!

And i xant help ya with college. Seeing as im not even two years away from it. 

*hugs hugs hugs* Okay! Wow words. Dont hurt yourself al!! Ok? Its ba! (Well obv) and its always the social studies teachers that are the best (ime)

Aye you have a kid!! Lets go!!!!!

*hugs hugs*

I appreciate the offer, but Saturday was ok actually. Today... idk yet. But my brothers sick so I'm praying I dont get sick.

On 9/26/2025 at 10:45 PM, Kansas Stormcursed said:

YES go hit things. Very good. I also suggest going to hit things with other people, and then going to food with said people afterward, great against mental issues.

 

Which leads me to today's yay moment, depression has started the upward climb of the cycle! (As in, my mental state is going back up, not that my depression is climbing—it's falling) anyway now that I can't word, I'm just gonna go check the rest of my notifs

Yeah I did. It helped. No people to hit things with yet though, sadly. But then I had good food that my cat shared bc everything she sees is hers, DUH. I love her.

Yay! I'm so happy for you!!

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Hey yall I’m back I’ll go read the close to 300 notifications I have *shivers in fear* later and respond but for now hugs for all

[Keke They/he]

On 9/26/2025 at 11:14 PM, KnightSkye Reforged said:

Same thing that I mentioned here two months ago. My closest friend, whom I took as my sister, has been told to cut off contact with me and went along with it cause she had been praying about something adjacent to it and thought this was the right thing even though she hated it. 

She is suffering now because of it. She's chosen to leave the shard for a while, cause she thinks i need the support here more than she does. I've seen her in passing and she looks like shite. She mentioned to one of my siblings that she hasn't done her daily work out in two months (which was something she loved) she has bags under her eyes and I can tell she's been crying a lot. Her husband who is also my friend looks more and more tired every time I see him. 

None of us are benefiting from this in any way. 

So I'm trying to fix it. But right now, and for the past two months, my life has been Hell. 

Ooh

*hugshugs hugs* that is storming awful

*hugs*

*more hugs*

On 9/27/2025 at 4:58 AM, Dilly honor spren said:

*all the hugs ever*

no. no dying. its not good for you. 

*hugsssss*

*HUGS*

On 9/27/2025 at 6:31 AM, Tam Tucker said:

This is my opinion, with the things I noticed living life. Life is in stages and moving from stage to stage old things die n new are born. You are leaving childhood behind n there's grief there. That's alright its normal. Be aware of this be content in the present n work towards the future. 

I also noticed that wisdom is better. Applying what you know. Smart people can be fools n handicapped people can be wise. All of us have are own lives n whatever we are born with. I also think the comparison game is foolish. That all it does is cause strife. Appreciate what you have been given. You are you, you can only do what you can. 

I think that you are stressed out with the overwhelming amount of info there is on colleges. I know i got overwhelmed n I went into the trades. I have a job in maintenance, my job is to preventive maintenance n safety. Which is make sure everyone goes home in one piece. 

Also just be you start friendships. See if it grows into more. Right now just focus on you. That is what you r going to bring to a relationship. It is better to be single than to be in a bad relationship. Enjoy being single. I understand how you feel. I got married in my late 20s. Take your time n find someone who loves you n will grow with you. 

*mmmmh smart wise words*
your words are accepted

*HUGS*

On 9/27/2025 at 7:54 AM, Tam Tucker said:

Trigger warning, I talk about the death of my dads and I talk about God. Also, drugs and neglect of babies, and serious life-threatening situations I was in. 

 

I want to talk about something that happened in the past, like 2020. That was the year that I lost both my dads within 2 months of each other. My adopted dad died of cancer. I took him to the hospital, and he never came back out. He was gone in 4 days, and we weren't allowed to see him since it was in April, and no one had a clue what was going on. He was my hero, the one who raised me into the man that I am now. I miss him all the time and look forward to seeing him again one day, where we never have to part again. 

One time, he told me he had a dream of holding a baby in a room full of weeping people. He told me that God was telling him that if he didn't take care of me. I was going to die. I have had this scar on my leg always has child. I was told that there was a window pane leaning in a closet. I climbed on top of the window. I fell through it and started screaming. Told that I was bleeding all over the place. My young mother, who had me at 16 freaking out, wrapping me in a towel, trying to stop the bleeding while taking me to the hospital. She lost me after that and later on gave me to the people who adopted me. I really do believe that after I stopped breathing on my adopted dad had to rush me to the hospital. If a similar thing like the glass situation happened, I would be dead. 

You know that was the kind of person my dad was, the kind of person to crawl into an oxygen tent for a confused, scared baby. He was a kind, flawed man whom I always respected, and I hope he is at peace and looking down on me with pride in his heart. Maybe I should post the poem I wrote about him, called Father's Son. 

Now, my biological father was messy. He was trying to cross a highway and got hit by a work truck. One of the pickup trucks has toolboxes in the back. So I am with my biological mother going to the hospital to get there and find out that this group of women I will call the Harpies got there first and lied, saying that they were his sisters.

These Harpies are screeching at the top of their lungs about things that still make no sense. The ugly truth is that they were just using him for his money, which he got from the government. All to feed their drug addiction, after he is gone, I guess they lost their house, and the only thing I have to say is you reap what you sow. 

Anyway, enough about the Harpies, just know that they made this whole situation pointlessly dramatic and complicated than it needed to be. That's because of them I didn't get to grief the little I had with this man. My relationship with my biological father was barely there. I tried, I even visited him in jail and wrote letters trying to make something. He would always go back to drugs. 

 I'm writing this because I wonder if I did the right thing. I believe that everyone deserves respect when it comes to death. No one should die alone. Out of respect, I was there for a man who was never there for me. Does that make me a better person? Is there even such a thing? Is it just that I value respect so much that I put my feelings aside and respect a life that was, and the grief over the things we never had? Did I do the right thing? 

*THE BEST HUGS*

oh my gosh that is horrible

Really like horrid

*hugs*

To answer your questions, i think yes, everyone deserves respect. And it makes sense to grief over stuff you never had. Especially when you cant have it anymore.

i feel that (slight rant) like, my parents divorce got finalized officially a bit ago. I knew it was happening like we were waiting for the paper but… it still hit that like NOW we cant go back. Not like they were gonna be magically fixed and we could become a nice happy family. But the hope was there that like. Maybe some point we could have what we didn’t before. But getting the papers solidified the loss.   

Does the connection make sense?

i hope that helped *Hugs*

On 9/27/2025 at 3:55 PM, Dilly honor spren said:

*hugs for everyone* 

*Hugs*

On 9/27/2025 at 5:38 PM, Just A Silvereye said:

Hey, thanks for asking!

I'm... good?

Okay maybe not that good

No, really most of the time I'm okay

Been seeing lots of family these past few days

Birthdays and visits and all that

So that's cool

But as soon as school and work come into the picture

Every little talk feels daunting

I try to delay them as much as possible, which is the kind of things that caused me lots of trouble in the past and why I am not ever ever learning why do I behave like I want a repeat of the last years because I certainly don't 

And also there's a lot of anxieties around this being the last year and going to work next year

Like an actual job

I'm scared I won't be able to do it

There's a part of me that just wants to stay in the familiar ground of school

Even though... ive never actually been good in that school

But familiar bad is still familiar I guess

So that's where I'm at

Scared of the past scared of the present scared of the future

Which often turns into frustration at everything and nothing all at once which is great and helps me greatly going on with things

 

 

Oh btw, to everyone else who's posted

*hugs so tightly*

*hugs*

silver *hugs*

On 9/28/2025 at 12:10 PM, Honors ghost said:

Hey yall I’m back I’ll go read the close to 300 notifications I have *shivers in fear* later and respond but for now hugs for all

*hugsssss*

Edited September 30, 2025 by Hawks

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

1 minute ago, Hawks said:

Ooh

*hugshugs hugs* that is storming awful

*hugs*

*more hugs*

*HUGS*

*mmmmh smart wise words*
your words are accepted

*HUGS*

ALSO IF YOUR READING THIS WAIT A SECOND I ACCIDENTLY POSTED I GOTTA EDIT THIS 

 

 

 

 

Thxxxx

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

I could use some hugs please

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

4 minutes ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

I could use some hugs please

*hugs*

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

5 minutes ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

I could use some hugs please

*hugs*

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

9 hours ago, SpartanBrigade said:

*hugs*

9 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

*hugs*

*hugs back*

Thanks guys

[Keke They/he]

10 hours ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

I could use some hugs please

*hugs*

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

13 minutes ago, Hawks said:

*hugs*

*hugs back*

Thanks

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Kansas Stormcursed said:

*hugs back*

Thanks

*hugs back back*

no thank you

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

13 hours ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

I could use some hugs please

*hugsss forever*