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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, Hawks said:

Had a dance today!!!!

Dance check list

Dance check

Have fun check

Talk with friends check

Eat food check

Line dance until I almost fall over check

Dance until I'm drop dead exhausted and can't breath check

Dance with a guy double check!?

Get a guys number... wait what 

Check!?!!?!?!??!?!

Well that ... happened.... *panic* *squeel and tell friends who all squeel*

awww thank yiu

danke

gracias

thanks it took ALOT of erasing re drawing sketching again. And three pieces of paper to get 🥲

NICE JOB😁

idk how to double quote but @Just A Silvereye is right this made my morning as well😁🤗

Edited by Heřãłðøfľõvê
Posted

*sigh*

when you're at your lowest and really need to talk to someone, suddenly everything goes silent 

and everyone's either got their own issues or they're away at their prom or whatever else

I hate needing people. I hate people. Why can't I just be a feelingless, emotionless rock? 

Posted
48 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

*sigh*

when you're at your lowest and really need to talk to someone, suddenly everything goes silent 

and everyone's either got their own issues or they're away at their prom or whatever else

I hate needing people. I hate people. Why can't I just be a feelingless, emotionless rock? 

*hugsssssss*

Posted
1 hour ago, Bird Furious said:

*sigh*

when you're at your lowest and really need to talk to someone, suddenly everything goes silent 

and everyone's either got their own issues or they're away at their prom or whatever else

I hate needing people. I hate people. Why can't I just be a feelingless, emotionless rock? 

*hugs*

'Cause then life is pointless. The emotions are part of life, even the ones we don't like

*more hugs*

Posted
1 hour ago, Bird Furious said:

ate needing people. I hate people. Why can't I just be a feelingless, emotionless rock? 

It's true that when we feel awful, we wish we couldn't feel anything. But we feel good things too, and if we couldn't feel anything then we can't have good times with friends either. 
Reminds me of an AJR lyric:

Quote

Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel

You'd yell at my face, it'd be no big deal

But I'd miss the way we'd make up and smile

Don't wanna be stone, I changed my mind

Posted
1 hour ago, Bird Furious said:

*sigh*

when you're at your lowest and really need to talk to someone, suddenly everything goes silent 

and everyone's either got their own issues or they're away at their prom or whatever else

I hate needing people. I hate people. Why can't I just be a feelingless, emotionless rock? 

*hugs*

Because we aren't feelingless, emotionless rocks

....

I don't normally do these, but:

rant of my own

Spoiler

So, today I was talking with my dad about careers and stuff, and suddenly I asked him what the was the point of it all. Right now, I'm in school, preparing for college. In college, I'm going to learn stuff and prepare for life. I'm going to get a job. I'm going to retire. And then I'm going to die. All for what?

So then I have a mental breakdown, and suddenly here I am, crying next to my dad over essentially the meaning of life. And it made me think about some things.

For a long time, I've felt like there are two sides to me. There's the confident, cultured persona I put on at school that all my friends know. And then there's the crazy, childish, immature kid I am at home.

But recently, I've felt like there's a third me. The one that just feels so old. That's never happy. That feels more and more like the real me.

The one that I can never be around other people.

And what is the point of life? Why do we all this, if we all die in the end?

I don't know. But I know I don't want to die. So I just avoid the question. Just keep living. Just keep delaying the inevitable.

And I post a lot in this thread, trying to help people with their struggles. But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences? Trying to keep them alive? Why is that even my choice to make?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

All I know is that I'm only 14 years old, but I already feel so tired.

My dad said he's looking into getting me a psychologist or something. But he doesn't understand me. He doesn't know about the millions of things I've been hiding. What I've been suppressing.

I just don't know what to do

but do nothing.

 

Posted
25 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

Because we aren't feelingless, emotionless rocks

....

I don't normally do these, but:

rant of my own

  Hide contents

So, today I was talking with my dad about careers and stuff, and suddenly I asked him what the was the point of it all. Right now, I'm in school, preparing for college. In college, I'm going to learn stuff and prepare for life. I'm going to get a job. I'm going to retire. And then I'm going to die. All for what?

So then I have a mental breakdown, and suddenly here I am, crying next to my dad over essentially the meaning of life. And it made me think about some things.

For a long time, I've felt like there are two sides to me. There's the confident, cultured persona I put on at school that all my friends know. And then there's the crazy, childish, immature kid I am at home.

But recently, I've felt like there's a third me. The one that just feels so old. That's never happy. That feels more and more like the real me.

The one that I can never be around other people.

And what is the point of life? Why do we all this, if we all die in the end?

I don't know. But I know I don't want to die. So I just avoid the question. Just keep living. Just keep delaying the inevitable.

And I post a lot in this thread, trying to help people with their struggles. But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences? Trying to keep them alive? Why is that even my choice to make?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

All I know is that I'm only 14 years old, but I already feel so tired.

My dad said he's looking into getting me a psychologist or something. But he doesn't understand me. He doesn't know about the millions of things I've been hiding. What I've been suppressing.

I just don't know what to do

but do nothing.

 

*hugs*

That's really hard, I'm sorry. Death kinda is what gives life its purpose: look at any fictional culture where death doesn't exist, and there's this recurring theme that nothing more is contributed to society/the world/etc. Death, though, gives us an end point and seems to push us to contribute and help others, which it seems like you do.

Helping yourself is harder (I know it well). Sometimes, all we can do is help others and hope they help us.

At least, that's my two cents

Posted
48 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

Because we aren't feelingless, emotionless rocks

....

I don't normally do these, but:

rant of my own

  Hide contents

So, today I was talking with my dad about careers and stuff, and suddenly I asked him what the was the point of it all. Right now, I'm in school, preparing for college. In college, I'm going to learn stuff and prepare for life. I'm going to get a job. I'm going to retire. And then I'm going to die. All for what?

So then I have a mental breakdown, and suddenly here I am, crying next to my dad over essentially the meaning of life. And it made me think about some things.

For a long time, I've felt like there are two sides to me. There's the confident, cultured persona I put on at school that all my friends know. And then there's the crazy, childish, immature kid I am at home.

But recently, I've felt like there's a third me. The one that just feels so old. That's never happy. That feels more and more like the real me.

The one that I can never be around other people.

And what is the point of life? Why do we all this, if we all die in the end?

I don't know. But I know I don't want to die. So I just avoid the question. Just keep living. Just keep delaying the inevitable.

And I post a lot in this thread, trying to help people with their struggles. But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences? Trying to keep them alive? Why is that even my choice to make?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

All I know is that I'm only 14 years old, but I already feel so tired.

My dad said he's looking into getting me a psychologist or something. But he doesn't understand me. He doesn't know about the millions of things I've been hiding. What I've been suppressing.

I just don't know what to do

but do nothing.

 

So as a fellow 14 year old I rly rly feel you on this I don’t know how to give advice to you for this bc honestly you just summed up all my problems so my only suggestion is try to find something your pationate abt that you can do at home for me it’s music I have friends who write another one does puzzles just anything that grounds you and all the personalities that you put in for others

thats my uneducated advice I hope it helps *huggggggssssss*

Posted
2 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs*

'Cause then life is pointless. The emotions are part of life, even the ones we don't like

*more hugs*

It's a net negative

so

2 hours ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

It's true that when we feel awful, we wish we couldn't feel anything. But we feel good things too, and if we couldn't feel anything then we can't have good times with friends either. 
Reminds me of an AJR lyric:

I love that whole album

Listened to it twice today

Still wish I were a rock 

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

2 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

Because we aren't feelingless, emotionless rocks

....

I don't normally do these, but:

rant of my own

  Reveal hidden contents

So, today I was talking with my dad about careers and stuff, and suddenly I asked him what the was the point of it all. Right now, I'm in school, preparing for college. In college, I'm going to learn stuff and prepare for life. I'm going to get a job. I'm going to retire. And then I'm going to die. All for what?

So then I have a mental breakdown, and suddenly here I am, crying next to my dad over essentially the meaning of life. And it made me think about some things.

For a long time, I've felt like there are two sides to me. There's the confident, cultured persona I put on at school that all my friends know. And then there's the crazy, childish, immature kid I am at home.

But recently, I've felt like there's a third me. The one that just feels so old. That's never happy. That feels more and more like the real me.

The one that I can never be around other people.

And what is the point of life? Why do we all this, if we all die in the end?

I don't know. But I know I don't want to die. So I just avoid the question. Just keep living. Just keep delaying the inevitable.

And I post a lot in this thread, trying to help people with their struggles. But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences? Trying to keep them alive? Why is that even my choice to make?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

All I know is that I'm only 14 years old, but I already feel so tired.

My dad said he's looking into getting me a psychologist or something. But he doesn't understand me. He doesn't know about the millions of things I've been hiding. What I've been suppressing.

I just don't know what to do

but do nothing.

 

I feel that a lot 

a lot 

Honestly, I live for three things 

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

as it should be

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

I've been subconsciously looking for something else to live for ever since while also creating emotional distance between everyone I know

but every so often, somebody closes the gap somehow 

every so often, I get burned again

so, yeah, I don't know 

Posted
2 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs*

That's really hard, I'm sorry. Death kinda is what gives life its purpose: look at any fictional culture where death doesn't exist, and there's this recurring theme that nothing more is contributed to society/the world/etc. Death, though, gives us an end point and seems to push us to contribute and help others, which it seems like you do.

Helping yourself is harder (I know it well). Sometimes, all we can do is help others and hope they help us.

At least, that's my two cents

2 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

So as a fellow 14 year old I rly rly feel you on this I don’t know how to give advice to you for this bc honestly you just summed up all my problems so my only suggestion is try to find something your pationate abt that you can do at home for me it’s music I have friends who write another one does puzzles just anything that grounds you and all the personalities that you put in for others

thats my uneducated advice I hope it helps *huggggggssssss*

Thanks

14 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

It's a net negative

so

I love that whole album

Listened to it twice today

Still wish I were a rock 

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

I feel that a lot 

a lot 

Honestly, I live for three things 

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

as it should be

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

I've been subconsciously looking for something else to live for ever since while also creating emotional distance between everyone I know

but every so often, somebody closes the gap somehow 

every so often, I get burned again

so, yeah, I don't know 

*hugs*

I know I sorta invalidated some of my advice a little earlier

But I KNOW you’re wrong about people always abandoning you

How?

Because there’re people I care about

People I would never abandon

but maybe I’m wrong

As for not knowing

well that’s the human curse, isn’t it?

At the end of the day, we’re living beings

We evolved to survive, reproduce, and die

And so we feel things we cannot explain

We know things we cannot justify

Or maybe those are just the lies we tell ourselves

But if they’re our reality

does it matter?

Posted
13 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Thanks

*hugs*

I know I sorta invalidated some of my advice a little earlier

But I KNOW you’re wrong about people always abandoning you

How?

Because there’re people I care about

People I would never abandon

but maybe I’m wrong

As for not knowing

well that’s the human curse, isn’t it?

At the end of the day, we’re living beings

We evolved to survive, reproduce, and die

And so we feel things we cannot explain

We know things we cannot justify

Or maybe those are just the lies we tell ourselves

But if they’re our reality

does it matter?

You would abandon them

I promise you would 

So would I 

So would any of us

There's really no point in having people at all if it's all gonna come out to a net negative

and if there's no people, there's no point in life 

Everyone will abandon me sooner or later 

I'll have to trick new people into liking me over and over again, and I can't get attached to any of them or it'll hurt when they leave me too 

because they will

they all will

Posted
On 4/26/2025 at 10:16 PM, Bird Furious said:

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

On 4/26/2025 at 7:20 PM, Hoid Slayer said:

I get that it feels that way rn, I really do. But I promise you that later on, when things are better, you'll look back and think that they were worth it. 

On 4/26/2025 at 10:16 PM, Bird Furious said:

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

 

It's not just a thin threadbare hope. Things do get better, even if you don't see how they could improve rn. :sylheart:

On 4/26/2025 at 10:54 PM, Bird Furious said:

because they will

they all will

Spoilered for length
 

Spoiler

[]

Sure, everyone will periodically hurt you, and you'll periodically hurt them. That's a part of life. Yes people have their own worries and preoccupations and can't always be there. But it's about intention. Oftentimes our friends don't mean to hurt us, and if they do, they'll apologize after. 

And if you don't have very good friends rn, you have a lot of life left, and you'll make new ones. I always encourage being emotionally vulnerable with your friends. Yes it means they could theoretically hurt you more, but also you stand to gain a lot more, and they might feel more comfortable sharing with you in return.

 

4 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

I really do get this feeling. Sometimes we get abandoned, and betrayed on a deep level by friends, and it hurts. My best friend since kindergarten stabbed me in the back in a major way a year ago, and it was really rough on me. I'm not friends with him anymore, but I can still look back on those fun times and I'm grateful, because we still had a lot of good memories. And I have other friends. Sure, everyone will periodically hurt you, and you'll periodically hurt them. That's a part of life. Yes people have their own worries and preoccupations and can't always be there. But it's about intention. Oftentimes our friends don't mean to hurt us, and if they do, they'll apologize after. 

And if you don't have very good friends rn, you have a lot of life left, and you'll make new ones. I always encourage being emotionally vulnerable with your friends. Yes it means they could theoretically hurt you more, but also you stand to gain a lot more, and they might feel more comfortable sharing with you in return.

Spoiler
On 4/26/2025 at 7:20 PM, Hoid Slayer said:

And then I'm going to die. All for what?

Ig I have two answers for this, but the first and foremost may not be very applicable to you. For me, my primary answer to this question is based in religion. Because yes, ultimately we all die, but my faith gives me purpose and hope while I'm alive on this planet. My non-faith based answer would be this: Don't think of life in terms of "I go to college, work, retire, die". It's true that work is a part of life, but it's not the point. You have your whole life ahead of you, and there's a lot you can do with that life to make an impact on other peoples' lives. For some people, that looks like being a doctor or therapist or first responder, literally saving lives. For some, it's just small acts of volunteering, or just being a kind and supportive friend to others, brightening someone else's day. There's a lot of ways to find meaning, but I think one of the most meaningful and fufilling is helping others. 

On 4/26/2025 at 7:20 PM, Hoid Slayer said:

But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences?

Helping others' mental health is always worthwhile. Yes our life here is short, but it still matters, and it's good to help others enjoy that life that they have. And yes you could argue that it's not your choice to make whether you should keep someone alive. But speaking from the perspective of someone who's dealt with suicidal ideation in the past, your friends will be grateful years from now that you encouraged them to stay alive, even if they wanted to die in the moment. Because once you're past all the darkness, you realize that staying alive was the best choice you ever made.

On 4/26/2025 at 7:20 PM, Hoid Slayer said:

My dad said he's looking into getting me a psychologist or something. But he doesn't understand me. He doesn't know about the millions of things I've been hiding. What I've been suppressing.

Ironically, this feeling of others not understanding you is an extremely common, and is the case for almost every teen at some point. (so lots of people do understand you, even if you don't know it) There's a good chance your dad has dealt with similar things to you when he was a teen. And if not, you probably know someone who has. If you trust your dad, then be open about the things you're hiding and suppressing. It's good to tell someone just in general, and parents are in the best position to get you the help you need.

 

Posted
Quote

I get that it feels that way rn, I really do. But I promise you that later on, when things are better, you'll look back and think that they were worth it. 

I really hope it does

but I honestly can't envision a future where things are better. I always just draw a blank when I try 

Quote

It's not just a thin threadbare hope. Things do get better, even if you don't see how they could improve rn. :sylheart:

What if it doesn't? What if my parents die and the colleges won't take me and I end up in fast food or something? 

I don't know. I don't know. I just really don't want to find out. 

 

 

 

 

 

6 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

Spoilered for length
 

  Reveal hidden contents

I really do get this feeling. Sometimes we get abandoned, and betrayed on a deep level by friends, and it hurts. My best friend since kindergarten stabbed me in the back in a major way a year ago, and it was really rough on me. I'm not friends with him anymore, but I can still look back on those fun times and I'm grateful, because we still had a lot of good memories. And I have other friends. Sure, everyone will periodically hurt you, and you'll periodically hurt them. That's a part of life. Yes people have their own worries and preoccupations and can't always be there. But it's about intention. Oftentimes our friends don't mean to hurt us, and if they do, they'll apologize after. 

And if you don't have very good friends rn, you have a lot of life left, and you'll make new ones. I always encourage being emotionally vulnerable with your friends. Yes it means they could theoretically hurt you more, but also you stand to gain a lot more, and they might feel more comfortable sharing with you in return.

 

 
  Reveal hidden contents

Ig I have two answers for this, but the first and foremost may not be very applicable to you. For me, my primary answer to this question is based in religion. Because yes, ultimately we all die, but my faith gives me purpose and hope while I'm alive on this planet. My non-faith based answer would be this: Don't think of life in terms of "I go to college, work, retire, die". It's true that work is a part of life, but it's not the point. You have your whole life ahead of you, and there's a lot you can do with that life to make an impact on other peoples' lives. For some people, that looks like being a doctor or therapist or first responder, literally saving lives. For some, it's just small acts of volunteering, or just being a kind and supportive friend to others, brightening someone else's day. There's a lot of ways to find meaning, but I think one of the most meaningful and fufilling is helping others. 

Helping others' mental health is always worthwhile. Yes our life here is short, but it still matters, and it's good to help others enjoy that life that they have. And yes you could argue that it's not your choice to make whether you should keep someone alive. But speaking from the perspective of someone who's dealt with suicidal ideation in the past, your friends will be grateful years from now that you encouraged them to stay alive, even if they wanted to die in the moment. Because once you're past all the darkness, you realize that staying alive was the best choice you ever made.

Ironically, this feeling of others not understanding you is an extremely common, and is the case for almost every teen at some point. (so lots of people do understand you, even if you don't know it) There's a good chance your dad has dealt with similar things to you when he was a teen. And if not, you probably know someone who has. If you trust your dad, then be open about the things you're hiding and suppressing. It's good to tell someone just in general, and parents are in the best position to get you the help you need.

 

Four strikes so far. 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted
4 hours ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

It's true that when we feel awful, we wish we couldn't feel anything. But we feel good things too, and if we couldn't feel anything then we can't have good times with friends either. 
Reminds me of an AJR lyric:

And true to what you always say

After you go through the bad you'll be able to use your experience to help others

4 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

Because we aren't feelingless, emotionless rocks

....

I don't normally do these, but:

rant of my own

  Hide contents

So, today I was talking with my dad about careers and stuff, and suddenly I asked him what the was the point of it all. Right now, I'm in school, preparing for college. In college, I'm going to learn stuff and prepare for life. I'm going to get a job. I'm going to retire. And then I'm going to die. All for what?

So then I have a mental breakdown, and suddenly here I am, crying next to my dad over essentially the meaning of life. And it made me think about some things.

For a long time, I've felt like there are two sides to me. There's the confident, cultured persona I put on at school that all my friends know. And then there's the crazy, childish, immature kid I am at home.

But recently, I've felt like there's a third me. The one that just feels so old. That's never happy. That feels more and more like the real me.

The one that I can never be around other people.

And what is the point of life? Why do we all this, if we all die in the end?

I don't know. But I know I don't want to die. So I just avoid the question. Just keep living. Just keep delaying the inevitable.

And I post a lot in this thread, trying to help people with their struggles. But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences? Trying to keep them alive? Why is that even my choice to make?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

All I know is that I'm only 14 years old, but I already feel so tired.

My dad said he's looking into getting me a psychologist or something. But he doesn't understand me. He doesn't know about the millions of things I've been hiding. What I've been suppressing.

I just don't know what to do

but do nothing.

 

Ok so. I'm doing the mobile version of this 

Quote

For a long time, I've felt like there are two sides to me. There's the confident, cultured persona I put on at school that all my friends know. And then there's the crazy, childish, immature kid I am at home.

I get that feeling to well

In order to try and think I don't have a personality disorder I have this theory

Your not different people, you just talk about different things. .... it's very very stretched but I'm trying to stay sane rn

Quote

And what is the point of life? Why do we all this, if we all die in the end?

Probably not the best advice but I sometimes live for others. 

Strong for somebody else by citizen soldier. Listen. It fits my advice and dtates it better then i can 

Quote

But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences? Trying to keep them alive? Why is that even my choice to make?

Yes, sometimes you don't take your own advice, I don't either. Keeping someone alive is better then anything in the world. This place is cruel and veutiful to. But in order to see the beauty we have to help others through the dark

1 hour ago, Bird Furious said:

It's a net negative

so

I love that whole album

Listened to it twice today

Still wish I were a rock 

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

I feel that a lot 

a lot 

Honestly, I live for three things 

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

as it should be

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

I've been subconsciously looking for something else to live for ever since while also creating emotional distance between everyone I know

but every so often, somebody closes the gap somehow 

every so often, I get burned again

so, yeah, I don't know 

Quote

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

Ok god won't be mad at you for dying. He loves you no matter what. My mom told me one day "if you ever question something religious, think 'god loves all his children. And so why on earth is that an exception"

*hugs*

Quote

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

Sometimes this is the only thing keeping me alive. To...

Quote

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday

You will be

I swear on it all.

It may seem dark. But there is light. Somewhere in the void. 

Quote

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

Disagree. If they abandon you then they aren't truly your friend. 

Not everyone does. I won't. 

I'll stay for you no matter what.

Everyone here will.

Im not leaving and you can trust that. 

Quote

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

You will always fit into my life.

Sometimes people get busy or have their own issues. But I'd drop it to help you. 

*hugs*

Quote

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

It hurts. Alot. But sometime eventually you will find the people who mean it all who stick with you. Who love you for who you are. And who will care for you. 

1 hour ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Thanks

*hugs*

I know I sorta invalidated some of my advice a little earlier

But I KNOW you’re wrong about people always abandoning you

How?

Because there’re people I care about

People I would never abandon

but maybe I’m wrong

As for not knowing

well that’s the human curse, isn’t it?

At the end of the day, we’re living beings

We evolved to survive, reproduce, and die

And so we feel things we cannot explain

We know things we cannot justify

Or maybe those are just the lies we tell ourselves

But if they’re our reality

does it matter?

It matters. Every word breath or smile has an impact on people 

To you it was a hug

To the other person it was a blessing

1 hour ago, Bird Furious said:

You would abandon them

I promise you would 

So would I 

So would any of us

There's really no point in having people at all if it's all gonna come out to a net negative

and if there's no people, there's no point in life 

Everyone will abandon me sooner or later 

I'll have to trick new people into liking me over and over again, and I can't get attached to any of them or it'll hurt when they leave me too 

because they will

they all will

Haly I won't leave

Not ever

I will supoort you in anything

Who you are

What you are

Not everyone leaves. 

18 minutes ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

I get that it feels that way rn, I really do. But I promise you that later on, when things are better, you'll look back and think that they were worth it. 

It's not just a thin threadbare hope. Things do get better, even if you don't see how they could improve rn. :sylheart:

Spoilered for length
 

  Hide contents

I really do get this feeling. Sometimes we get abandoned, and betrayed on a deep level by friends, and it hurts. My best friend since kindergarten stabbed me in the back in a major way a year ago, and it was really rough on me. I'm not friends with him anymore, but I can still look back on those fun times and I'm grateful, because we still had a lot of good memories. And I have other friends. Sure, everyone will periodically hurt you, and you'll periodically hurt them. That's a part of life. Yes people have their own worries and preoccupations and can't always be there. But it's about intention. Oftentimes our friends don't mean to hurt us, and if they do, they'll apologize after. 

And if you don't have very good friends rn, you have a lot of life left, and you'll make new ones. I always encourage being emotionally vulnerable with your friends. Yes it means they could theoretically hurt you more, but also you stand to gain a lot more, and they might feel more comfortable sharing with you in return.

 

 
  Hide contents

Ig I have two answers for this, but the first and foremost may not be very applicable to you. For me, my primary answer to this question is based in religion. Because yes, ultimately we all die, but my faith gives me purpose and hope while I'm alive on this planet. My non-faith based answer would be this: Don't think of life in terms of "I go to college, work, retire, die". It's true that work is a part of life, but it's not the point. You have your whole life ahead of you, and there's a lot you can do with that life to make an impact on other peoples' lives. For some people, that looks like being a doctor or therapist or first responder, literally saving lives. For some, it's just small acts of volunteering, or just being a kind and supportive friend to others, brightening someone else's day. There's a lot of ways to find meaning, but I think one of the most meaningful and fufilling is helping others. 

Helping others' mental health is always worthwhile. Yes our life here is short, but it still matters, and it's good to help others enjoy that life that they have. And yes you could argue that it's not your choice to make whether you should keep someone alive. But speaking from the perspective of someone who's dealt with suicidal ideation in the past, your friends will be grateful years from now that you encouraged them to stay alive, even if they wanted to die in the moment. Because once you're past all the darkness, you realize that staying alive was the best choice you ever made.

Ironically, this feeling of others not understanding you is an extremely common, and is the case for almost every teen at some point. (so lots of people do understand you, even if you don't know it) There's a good chance your dad has dealt with similar things to you when he was a teen. And if not, you probably know someone who has. If you trust your dad, then be open about the things you're hiding and suppressing. It's good to tell someone just in general, and parents are in the best position to get you the help you need.

 

This

Everything he said

Yes.

EVERYTHING

Every word he typed i full heartedly agree with

Posted
8 minutes ago, Hawks said:

Disagree. If they abandon you then they aren't truly your friend. 

Not everyone does. I won't. 

I'll stay for you no matter what.

Everyone here will.

Im not leaving and you can trust that. 

You will always fit into my life.

Sometimes people get busy or have their own issues. But I'd drop it to help you. 

*hugs*

It hurts. Alot. But sometime eventually you will find the people who mean it all who stick with you. Who love you for who you are. And who will care for you. 

 

Haly I won't leave

Not ever

I will supoort you in anything

Who you are

What you are

Not everyone leaves. 

Thanks

 I know you’re lying, or just plain wrong

 but thanks

Posted
Just now, Bird Furious said:

Thanks

 I know you’re lying, or just plain wrong

 but thanks

Haly. I wouldn't lie to you about that.

*holds tightly* 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Hawks said:

Haly. I wouldn't lie to you about that.

*holds tightly* 

I know

always just makes it hurt more

 Sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking at all this late at night. 

Imma go to bed. You should too. 

Posted
Just now, Bird Furious said:

I know

always just makes it hurt more

 Sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking at all this late at night. 

Imma go to bed. You should too. 

Ok 

But I stay

*latches onto you*

Posted
7 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

but I honestly can't envision a future where things are better. I always just draw a blank when I try 

Quote

That's okay, and that's normal. If we could envision the bright future while we're depressed, it wouldn't suck so much. That's one of the things that differentiates depression from normal sadness. You don't have to envision it rn, just know that it's there, even if you can't se it or imagine it.

7 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

What if it doesn't? What if my parents die and the colleges won't take me and I end up in fast food or something? 

I don't know. I don't know. I just really don't want to find out. 

Thing is, there'll always be sad things. People die, and that's a sad part of life. There won't ever be a point where you're happy every hour of every day. But that doesn't mean you won't generally be happier later on. When there's not something big going on, you'll be happier, and when something does happen, you'll be able to handle it better and return to your normal state faster. And even if colleges don't take you and you end up in fast food, (which I doubt), that doesn't determine your happiness. As I said to Hoid Slayer: Life isn't about college, job, and retiring. Even if you look a non-religious standpoint, helping others and making the world better is a much more important aspect of life. And you can do that no matter your job.So no matter where you end up, you'll find purpose. Even if you have no idea what that purpose is rn, you will. 

7 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

Four strikes so far. 

 

And I get that it hurts. But keep trying, it'll be worth it. Part of the problem is that in high school, people tend to be very immature, and can (intentionally or not) horribly hurt their friends. But as you mature, others will as well.

Posted
9 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

It's a net negative

so

I love that whole album

Listened to it twice today

Still wish I were a rock 

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

I feel that a lot 

a lot 

Honestly, I live for three things 

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

as it should be

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

I've been subconsciously looking for something else to live for ever since while also creating emotional distance between everyone I know

but every so often, somebody closes the gap somehow 

every so often, I get burned again

so, yeah, I don't know 

Ig I kinda gave this advice to hoid slayer but for me it helps to latch onto like three things that do not change no matter what bc it’s true friendships do change my best friend left me a few weeks ago and it rly hurt but if you can find things like the outdoors or a instrument or reading those rly help bc those things don’t change and can’t betray you 

also we love you*hughughuhjuhhug* and that is not a lie

i don’t lie

Posted
1 hour ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

That's okay, and that's normal. If we could envision the bright future while we're depressed, it wouldn't suck so much. That's one of the things that differentiates depression from normal sadness. You don't have to envision it rn, just know that it's there, even if you can't se it or imagine it.

Thing is, there'll always be sad things. People die, and that's a sad part of life. There won't ever be a point where you're happy every hour of every day. But that doesn't mean you won't generally be happier later on. When there's not something big going on, you'll be happier, and when something does happen, you'll be able to handle it better and return to your normal state faster. And even if colleges don't take you and you end up in fast food, (which I doubt), that doesn't determine your happiness. As I said to Hoid Slayer: Life isn't about college, job, and retiring. Even if you look a non-religious standpoint, helping others and making the world better is a much more important aspect of life. And you can do that no matter your job.So no matter where you end up, you'll find purpose. Even if you have no idea what that purpose is rn, you will. 

And I get that it hurts. But keep trying, it'll be worth it. Part of the problem is that in high school, people tend to be very immature, and can (intentionally or not) horribly hurt their friends. But as you mature, others will as well.

Thank you

 that makes some sense

59 minutes ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Ig I kinda gave this advice to hoid slayer but for me it helps to latch onto like three things that do not change no matter what bc it’s true friendships do change my best friend left me a few weeks ago and it rly hurt but if you can find things like the outdoors or a instrument or reading those rly help bc those things don’t change and can’t betray you 

also we love you*hughughuhjuhhug* and that is not a lie

i don’t lie

I’m gonna try that 

thank you

Posted
10 hours ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

I get that it feels that way rn, I really do. But I promise you that later on, when things are better, you'll look back and think that they were worth it. 

It's not just a thin threadbare hope. Things do get better, even if you don't see how they could improve rn. :sylheart:

Spoilered for length
 

  Hide contents

I really do get this feeling. Sometimes we get abandoned, and betrayed on a deep level by friends, and it hurts. My best friend since kindergarten stabbed me in the back in a major way a year ago, and it was really rough on me. I'm not friends with him anymore, but I can still look back on those fun times and I'm grateful, because we still had a lot of good memories. And I have other friends. Sure, everyone will periodically hurt you, and you'll periodically hurt them. That's a part of life. Yes people have their own worries and preoccupations and can't always be there. But it's about intention. Oftentimes our friends don't mean to hurt us, and if they do, they'll apologize after. 

And if you don't have very good friends rn, you have a lot of life left, and you'll make new ones. I always encourage being emotionally vulnerable with your friends. Yes it means they could theoretically hurt you more, but also you stand to gain a lot more, and they might feel more comfortable sharing with you in return.

 

 
  Hide contents

Ig I have two answers for this, but the first and foremost may not be very applicable to you. For me, my primary answer to this question is based in religion. Because yes, ultimately we all die, but my faith gives me purpose and hope while I'm alive on this planet. My non-faith based answer would be this: Don't think of life in terms of "I go to college, work, retire, die". It's true that work is a part of life, but it's not the point. You have your whole life ahead of you, and there's a lot you can do with that life to make an impact on other peoples' lives. For some people, that looks like being a doctor or therapist or first responder, literally saving lives. For some, it's just small acts of volunteering, or just being a kind and supportive friend to others, brightening someone else's day. There's a lot of ways to find meaning, but I think one of the most meaningful and fufilling is helping others. 

Helping others' mental health is always worthwhile. Yes our life here is short, but it still matters, and it's good to help others enjoy that life that they have. And yes you could argue that it's not your choice to make whether you should keep someone alive. But speaking from the perspective of someone who's dealt with suicidal ideation in the past, your friends will be grateful years from now that you encouraged them to stay alive, even if they wanted to die in the moment. Because once you're past all the darkness, you realize that staying alive was the best choice you ever made.

Ironically, this feeling of others not understanding you is an extremely common, and is the case for almost every teen at some point. (so lots of people do understand you, even if you don't know it) There's a good chance your dad has dealt with similar things to you when he was a teen. And if not, you probably know someone who has. If you trust your dad, then be open about the things you're hiding and suppressing. It's good to tell someone just in general, and parents are in the best position to get you the help you need.

 

Thanks

9 hours ago, Hawks said:

I get that feeling to well

In order to try and think I don't have a personality disorder I have this theory

Your not different people, you just talk about different things. .... it's very very stretched but I'm trying to stay sane rn

It’s not different people, it’s like…

different masks. You behave differently, and show different things.

9 hours ago, Hawks said:

Probably not the best advice but I sometimes live for others. 

Strong for somebody else by citizen soldier. Listen. It fits my advice and dtates it better then i can 

*listens*

*hugs tight*

9 hours ago, Hawks said:

Yes, sometimes you don't take your own advice, I don't either. Keeping someone alive is better then anything in the world. This place is cruel and veutiful to. But in order to see the beauty we have to help others through the dark

11 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

I guess

But that is another confusing thing

How can I feel so hopeless about myself, yet care so much about others?

I believe the things I say here.

But they all seem so small sometimes.

And I just don’t know.

9 hours ago, Hawks said:

It matters. Every word breath or smile has an impact on people 

To you it was a hug

To the other person it was a blessing

I guess

maybe you’re right.

*hugs*

You’re awesome, Hawks.

Never forget that.

Posted
12 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

It's a net negative

so

I love that whole album

Listened to it twice today

Still wish I were a rock 

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

I feel that a lot 

a lot 

Honestly, I live for three things 

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

as it should be

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

I've been subconsciously looking for something else to live for ever since while also creating emotional distance between everyone I know

but every so often, somebody closes the gap somehow 

every so often, I get burned again

so, yeah, I don't know 

 

11 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

You would abandon them

I promise you would 

So would I 

So would any of us

There's really no point in having people at all if it's all gonna come out to a net negative

and if there's no people, there's no point in life 

Everyone will abandon me sooner or later 

I'll have to trick new people into liking me over and over again, and I can't get attached to any of them or it'll hurt when they leave me too 

because they will

they all will

I’m always going to be here for you Haly

Posted
46 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Thanks

It’s not different people, it’s like…

different masks. You behave differently, and show different things.

*listens*

*hugs tight*

I guess

But that is another confusing thing

How can I feel so hopeless about myself, yet care so much about others?

I believe the things I say here.

But they all seem so small sometimes.

And I just don’t know.

I guess

maybe you’re right.

*hugs*

You’re awesome, Hawks.

Never forget that.

Quote

 

It’s not different people, it’s like…

 

different masks. You behave differently, and show different things.

 

Yeah..... 

Quote

 

*listens*

*hugs tight*

 

*hugs*

Quote

 

I guess

But that is another confusing thing

How can I feel so hopeless about myself, yet care so much about others?

I believe the things I say here.

But they all seem so small sometimes.

And I just don’t know.

 

The feelings of yourself and others are different. 

One is based on your brain and the other your heart. 

Same goes for the advice... i think.

Quote

I guess

maybe you’re right.

*hugs*

You’re awesome, Hawks.

Never forget that.

*hugs*

I try my bestest

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