Mental health club!

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

1 hour ago, Hoid Slayer said:

I believe the things I say here.

But they all seem so small sometimes.

And I just don’t know.

Yeah. I know how that is. 

Sometimes I tell my friends to try to envision a perfect future. Which is kind of hypocritical of me. But it helps. 

I’d like to live in a little tiny house in the woods and write books in seclusion. I’d drive to town for groceries and check in on my friends there every once in a while. And I’d just write all day about sweet little things. 

52 minutes ago, Spark of Hope said:

 

I’m always going to be here for you Haly

Thanks

[Through the Living Hope]

3 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

Yeah. I know how that is. 

Sometimes I tell my friends to try to envision a perfect future. Which is kind of hypocritical of me. But it helps. 

I’d like to live in a little tiny house in the woods and write books in seclusion. I’d drive to town for groceries and check in on my friends there every once in a while. And I’d just write all day about sweet little things. 

Thanks

 

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

32 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

Yeah. I know how that is. 

Sometimes I tell my friends to try to envision a perfect future. Which is kind of hypocritical of me. But it helps. 

I’d like to live in a little tiny house in the woods and write books in seclusion. I’d drive to town for groceries and check in on my friends there every once in a while. And I’d just write all day about sweet little things. 

Thanks

Ngl that sounds like the life I want to live in the mountains in Vermont with a rly small apartment just outside NYC if I ever want to stay there

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

20 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

*sigh*

when you're at your lowest and really need to talk to someone, suddenly everything goes silent 

and everyone's either got their own issues or they're away at their prom or whatever else

I hate needing people. I hate people. Why can't I just be a feelingless, emotionless rock? 

18 hours ago, #1 Taln Fan said:

It's true that when we feel awful, we wish we couldn't feel anything. But we feel good things too, and if we couldn't feel anything then we can't have good times with friends either. 
Reminds me of an AJR lyric:

18 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

*hugs*

Because we aren't feelingless, emotionless rocks

....

I don't normally do these, but:

rant of my own

  Hide contents

So, today I was talking with my dad about careers and stuff, and suddenly I asked him what the was the point of it all. Right now, I'm in school, preparing for college. In college, I'm going to learn stuff and prepare for life. I'm going to get a job. I'm going to retire. And then I'm going to die. All for what?

So then I have a mental breakdown, and suddenly here I am, crying next to my dad over essentially the meaning of life. And it made me think about some things.

For a long time, I've felt like there are two sides to me. There's the confident, cultured persona I put on at school that all my friends know. And then there's the crazy, childish, immature kid I am at home.

But recently, I've felt like there's a third me. The one that just feels so old. That's never happy. That feels more and more like the real me.

The one that I can never be around other people.

And what is the point of life? Why do we all this, if we all die in the end?

I don't know. But I know I don't want to die. So I just avoid the question. Just keep living. Just keep delaying the inevitable.

And I post a lot in this thread, trying to help people with their struggles. But I don't take my own advice, so what am I even doing? Trying to make people feel better about their meaningless existences? Trying to keep them alive? Why is that even my choice to make?

I don't know.

I don't know anything.

All I know is that I'm only 14 years old, but I already feel so tired.

My dad said he's looking into getting me a psychologist or something. But he doesn't understand me. He doesn't know about the millions of things I've been hiding. What I've been suppressing.

I just don't know what to do

but do nothing.

 

15 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

It's a net negative

so

I love that whole album

Listened to it twice today

Still wish I were a rock 

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

I feel that a lot 

a lot 

Honestly, I live for three things 

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

as it should be

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

I've been subconsciously looking for something else to live for ever since while also creating emotional distance between everyone I know

but every so often, somebody closes the gap somehow 

every so often, I get burned again

so, yeah, I don't know 

15 hours ago, Hoid Slayer said:

Thanks

*hugs*

I know I sorta invalidated some of my advice a little earlier

But I KNOW you’re wrong about people always abandoning you

How?

Because there’re people I care about

People I would never abandon

but maybe I’m wrong

As for not knowing

well that’s the human curse, isn’t it?

At the end of the day, we’re living beings

We evolved to survive, reproduce, and die

And so we feel things we cannot explain

We know things we cannot justify

Or maybe those are just the lies we tell ourselves

But if they’re our reality

does it matter?

13 hours ago, Hawks said:

And true to what you always say

After you go through the bad you'll be able to use your experience to help others

Ok so. I'm doing the mobile version of this 

I get that feeling to well

In order to try and think I don't have a personality disorder I have this theory

Your not different people, you just talk about different things. .... it's very very stretched but I'm trying to stay sane rn

Probably not the best advice but I sometimes live for others. 

Strong for somebody else by citizen soldier. Listen. It fits my advice and dtates it better then i can 

Yes, sometimes you don't take your own advice, I don't either. Keeping someone alive is better then anything in the world. This place is cruel and veutiful to. But in order to see the beauty we have to help others through the dark

Ok god won't be mad at you for dying. He loves you no matter what. My mom told me one day "if you ever question something religious, think 'god loves all his children. And so why on earth is that an exception"

*hugs*

Sometimes this is the only thing keeping me alive. To...

You will be

I swear on it all.

It may seem dark. But there is light. Somewhere in the void. 

Disagree. If they abandon you then they aren't truly your friend. 

Not everyone does. I won't. 

I'll stay for you no matter what.

Everyone here will.

Im not leaving and you can trust that. 

You will always fit into my life.

Sometimes people get busy or have their own issues. But I'd drop it to help you. 

*hugs*

It hurts. Alot. But sometime eventually you will find the people who mean it all who stick with you. Who love you for who you are. And who will care for you. 

It matters. Every word breath or smile has an impact on people 

To you it was a hug

To the other person it was a blessing

Haly I won't leave

Not ever

I will supoort you in anything

Who you are

What you are

Not everyone leaves. 

This

Everything he said

Yes.

EVERYTHING

Every word he typed i full heartedly agree with

13 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

Thanks

 I know you’re lying, or just plain wrong

 but thanks

5 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

Thank you

 that makes some sense

I’m gonna try that 

thank you

They're right, Haly

*hugs*

I'm sorry I couldn't be there yesterday when you needed someone

I'm sorry you're hurting like this

No one should have to feel like this

But you're not alone

Let us know whenever you feel like this, okay? We all want to help. You're not a burden, and talking about how you feel doesn't make us annoyed with you or start hating you. We're choosing to support you. We all choose to support each other. No one is forcing us to be here.

We love you, Haly. So, so much. And nothing is going to change that.

*squeezes*

10 hours ago, Bel Oh said:

are you still excepting members? Because I have ADHD, I am Insane (No joke) does Insomnia count?

We are 

Welcome!

Edited April 27, 2025 by Through The Living Glass

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

3 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

They're right, Haly

*hugs*

I'm sorry I couldn't be there yesterday when you needed someone

I'm sorry you're hurting like this

No one should have to feel like this

But you're not alone

Let us know whenever you feel like this, okay? We all want to help. You're not a burden, and talking about how you feel doesn't make us annoyed with you or start hating you. We're choosing to support you. We all choose to support each other. No one is forcing us to be here.

We love you, Haly. So, so much. And nothing is going to change that.

*squeezes*

We are 

Welcome!

Thank you

 I’ll try to be optimistic for now 

[Keke They/he]

10 hours ago, Bel Oh said:

are you still excepting members? Because I have ADHD, I am Insane (No joke) does Insomnia count?

Ofc we are

Welcome

Apologies I didn't see you're message before but better late then never!

 insomnia does count!

Anything counts here.

And if yiu haven't check the first post so you know some rules

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

14 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

Thank you

 I’ll try to be optimistic for now 

No, hang on, that's not what I'm saying. Don't shove everything down

That won't help

[Keke They/he]

24 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

Thank you

 I’ll try to be optimistic for now 

No...

Haly. Don't ignore it

What glass was trying to say (i think pls correct me if I'm wrong)

Is that we want to help you.

If yiur sad them be sad and we will be there.

You are NOT a burden. 

We are willingly here. We want to help. It's a choice. We love you for your sadness and joy. All of it. 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

4 minutes ago, Hawks said:

No...

Haly. Don't ignore it

What glass was trying to say (i think pls correct me if I'm wrong)

Is that we want to help you.

If yiur sad them be sad and we will be there.

You are NOT a burden. 

We are willingly here. We want to help. It's a choice. We love you for your sadness and joy. All of it. 

Yeah, that's what I was saying. You got it

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Yeah, that's what I was saying. You got it

Radical

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

47 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

No, hang on, that's not what I'm saying. Don't shove everything down

That won't help

 

37 minutes ago, Hawks said:

No...

Haly. Don't ignore it

What glass was trying to say (i think pls correct me if I'm wrong)

Is that we want to help you.

If yiur sad them be sad and we will be there.

You are NOT a burden. 

We are willingly here. We want to help. It's a choice. We love you for your sadness and joy. All of it. 

I know 

But I won’t be able to shake the inevitability so I’ll just have to try and be more hopeful 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

15 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

 

I know 

But I won’t be able to shake the inevitability so I’ll just have to try and be more hopeful 

*squeeze*

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

22 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

*sigh*

when you're at your lowest and really need to talk to someone, suddenly everything goes silent 

and everyone's either got their own issues or they're away at their prom or whatever else

I hate needing people. I hate people. Why can't I just be a feelingless, emotionless rock? 

 

17 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

It's a net negative

so

I love that whole album

Listened to it twice today

Still wish I were a rock 

The good times honestly just aren't worth it 

I feel that a lot 

a lot 

Honestly, I live for three things 

1. I'm religious, so I live because if I don't God would be mad at me 

2. If I were to die, I'd probably traumatize a lot of people. Wish I didn't know so many people 

3. The thin, threadbare, ever wanting hope that I'll be happy someday 

I used to live for people, before I realized that everyone abandons you

However ardently they promise to stick by you, ultimately they always have other things to look after because they're tryna live their lives and you just don't fit into that anymore 

as it should be

but living for people hurts every time you move or when they cut ties with you 

I've been subconsciously looking for something else to live for ever since while also creating emotional distance between everyone I know

but every so often, somebody closes the gap somehow 

every so often, I get burned again

so, yeah, I don't know 

 

16 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

You would abandon them

I promise you would 

So would I 

So would any of us

There's really no point in having people at all if it's all gonna come out to a net negative

and if there's no people, there's no point in life 

Everyone will abandon me sooner or later 

I'll have to trick new people into liking me over and over again, and I can't get attached to any of them or it'll hurt when they leave me too 

because they will

they all will

 

15 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

I really hope it does

but I honestly can't envision a future where things are better. I always just draw a blank when I try 

What if it doesn't? What if my parents die and the colleges won't take me and I end up in fast food or something? 

I don't know. I don't know. I just really don't want to find out. 

 

 

 

 

 

Four strikes so far. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

15 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

Thanks

 I know you’re lying, or just plain wrong

 but thanks

 

14 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

I know

always just makes it hurt more

 Sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking at all this late at night. 

Imma go to bed. You should too. 

 

6 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

Thank you

 that makes some sense

I’m gonna try that 

thank you

 

1 hour ago, Bird Furious said:

Thank you

 I’ll try to be optimistic for now 

 

16 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

 

I know 

But I won’t be able to shake the inevitability so I’ll just have to try and be more hopeful 

*hhhhhhuuuuuuggggggggssssssssss*

So there are many people I thought I would always stick with, until life took us apart

I haven't recontacted most of them in years

Life took us apart, we grew each on our side, all that

Doesn't mean I wouldn't still jump into the fire for them

 

And also on that

Quote

I honestly can't envision a future where things are better. I always just draw a blank when I try 

What if it doesn't? What if my parents die and the colleges won't take me and I end up in fast food or something? 

I don't know. I don't know. I just really don't want to find out. 

You don't need to assume the worst all the time

This is like, ridiculously unlikely 

And I can say from experience, worrying about this kind of stuff doesn't do anything good for you and is eating you from the inside

 

And even if you don't find a job that gets you a sense of fullfillment... you can still find that on the side

You'll have most of the time you don't spend in the kitchen free to write after all 

 

4 hours ago, Bird Furious said:

Yeah. I know how that is. 

Sometimes I tell my friends to try to envision a perfect future. Which is kind of hypocritical of me. But it helps. 

I’d like to live in a little tiny house in the woods and write books in seclusion. I’d drive to town for groceries and check in on my friends there every once in a while. And I’d just write all day about sweet little things. 

Thanks

That really sounds awesome, and I hope you can get that someday

*squeezes even more and doesn't let go*

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

3 hours ago, Just A Silvereye said:

*hhhhhhuuuuuuggggggggssssssssss*

So there are many people I thought I would always stick with, until life took us apart

I haven't recontacted most of them in years

Life took us apart, we grew each on our side, all that

Doesn't mean I wouldn't still jump into the fire for them

 

And also on that

You don't need to assume the worst all the time

This is like, ridiculously unlikely 

And I can say from experience, worrying about this kind of stuff doesn't do anything good for you and is eating you from the inside

 

And even if you don't find a job that gets you a sense of fullfillment... you can still find that on the side

You'll have most of the time you don't spend in the kitchen free to write after all 

 

That really sounds awesome, and I hope you can get that someday

*squeezes even more and doesn't let go*

Thank you

*hugs back very tight*

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Why are friends so storming hard? Why are they so helpful and still have such ability to hurt? Why do I get snapped at when I talk about my problems, but they expect me to understand theirs? Why do I always have to wonder which friends are actually my friends and which are using me? Why can't I help my friends? Why won't they tell me what's going on so I can help? Why can't they tell me so I can be there for them more or in the right way? Why can't I be good with words? Why do I always mess up everything I try to say? Why do so many people look up to me, when I can't even go a week without hating myself? Why am I like an addict for self-punishment? Why can't I even be there for myself? Why can't I have the answers? Why am I so messed up?

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

5 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Why are friends so storming hard? Why are they so helpful and still have such ability to hurt? Why do I get snapped at when I talk about my problems, but they expect me to understand theirs? Why do I always have to wonder which friends are actually my friends and which are using me? Why can't I help my friends? Why won't they tell me what's going on so I can help? Why can't they tell me so I can be there for them more or in the right way? Why can't I be good with words? Why do I always mess up everything I try to say? Why do so many people look up to me, when I can't even go a week without hating myself? Why am I like an addict for self-punishment? Why can't I even be there for myself? Why can't I have the answers? Why am I so messed up?

oh, Kansas . . .

*squeeze*

I feel a lot of that

I'm so sorry

[Through the Living Hope]

23 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Why are friends so storming hard? Why are they so helpful and still have such ability to hurt? Why do I get snapped at when I talk about my problems, but they expect me to understand theirs? Why do I always have to wonder which friends are actually my friends and which are using me? Why can't I help my friends? Why won't they tell me what's going on so I can help? Why can't they tell me so I can be there for them more or in the right way? Why can't I be good with words? Why do I always mess up everything I try to say? Why do so many people look up to me, when I can't even go a week without hating myself? Why am I like an addict for self-punishment? Why can't I even be there for myself? Why can't I have the answers? Why am I so messed up?

*hug*

Sounds to me like you need new friends 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

19 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

oh, Kansas . . .

*squeeze*

I feel a lot of that

I'm so sorry

Thanks

1 minute ago, Spark of Hope said:

*hug*

Sounds to me like you need new friends 

No, it's all my fault. I keep messing things up and not figuring out what's going on

[Through the Living Hope]

Just now, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Thanks

No, it's all my fault. I keep messing things up and not figuring out what's going on

Don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault. They’re holding you to a double standard 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

Don’t blame yourself. This isn’t your fault. They’re holding you to a double standard 

No, it has to be.my fault. It doesn't make sense otherwise

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

2 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Thanks

No, it's all my fault. I keep messing things up and not figuring out what's going on

Just now, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

No, it has to be.my fault. It doesn't make sense otherwise

Kansas, dude, this isn't your fault. You're trying to help and they're not doing you any justice.

[Through the Living Hope]

1 minute ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

No, it has to be.my fault. It doesn't make sense otherwise

 It is not your fault. I promise 

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Kansas, dude, this isn't your fault. You're trying to help and they're not doing you any justice.

Just now, Spark of Hope said:

 It is not your fault. I promise 

Ok. sorry

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Ok. sorry

*sigh*

*hugs tightly*

[Keke They/he]

1 hour ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Why are friends so storming hard? Why are they so helpful and still have such ability to hurt? Why do I get snapped at when I talk about my problems, but they expect me to understand theirs? Why do I always have to wonder which friends are actually my friends and which are using me? Why can't I help my friends? Why won't they tell me what's going on so I can help? Why can't they tell me so I can be there for them more or in the right way? Why can't I be good with words? Why do I always mess up everything I try to say? Why do so many people look up to me, when I can't even go a week without hating myself? Why am I like an addict for self-punishment? Why can't I even be there for myself? Why can't I have the answers? Why am I so messed up?

Oh Kansas

*hugsies*

Friends are a mystery. But....

*hugs*