Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. You sleep behind the car and get exhausted instead...

I wish for all of Sun Tzu's wisdom

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. You also gain his age plus all the time since he died.

I wish for a cup of water.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

3 hours ago, Just A Silvereye said:

So just like usual

Granted, but it's one from BK Tibet with yack cheese.

  Hide contents

I have seen BK France menus just today.

Those people are very susceptible to do yack cheese burgers in Tibet.

 

I wish to not feel tired after sleeping.

Granted, but your ability to sleep is taken away.

I wish to be free from my peanut allergy.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 hour ago, The Great Wyver said:

Granted, but your ability to sleep is taken away.

I wish to be free from my peanut allergy.

Granted. You're allergic to all kinds of nuts BUT peanuts (allergies include sunflower seeds, cashews, and all the things that aren't technically nuts but make nut butters) (I actually know a guy who is only not allergic to peanuts)

I wish for the college application process to be easier

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

It becomes easier- but you just got rejected and blacklisted from every college!

I wish for a cool sword.

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Just now, The Great Wyver said:

It becomes easier- but you just got rejected and blacklisted from every college!

I wish for a cool sword.

Whatever I did was likely worth it if it was that crazy

Here! *runs through with cool sword*

I wish my skeleton were unbreakable

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

1 minute ago, Kansas Stormcursed said:

Whatever I did was likely worth it if it was that crazy

Here! *runs through with cool sword*

I wish my skeleton were unbreakable

Your skeleton is unbreakable, but all your other body parts become extra-breakable!

I wish for a simple mechanical pencil that will not go into any of my bodily parts and not cause me any harm.

[Unintelligenius he/him]

Granted. But it comes with no lead and no lead can be put into it and it can't be used to write anything.

I wish for some hot cocoa. 

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

Granted. But it's so hot it melts the wooden cup itself. Somehow.

I wish for a more comfy chair.

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

58 minutes ago, The Great Wyver said:

Granted. But it's so hot it melts the wooden cup itself. Somehow.

I wish for a more comfy chair.

Granted. It’s so comfy you can’t move 
At all
For anything
Including to eat

I wish for an immortal pet chull who loves me unquestionably 

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

Just now, SpartanBrigade said:

Granted. It’s so comfy you can’t move 
At all
For anything
Including to eat

I wish for an immortal pet chull who loves me unquestionably 

Granted. But it's so dum it got lost in the forests forever.

I wish for a nonviolent pet lizard.

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

Just now, The Great Wyver said:

Granted. But it's so dum it got lost in the forests forever.

I wish for a nonviolent pet lizard.

Granted. It dies.

I wish for people to stop mischaracterizing Kelsier as evil

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

26 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

Granted. It dies.

I wish for people to stop mischaracterizing Kelsier as evil

You bully

Granted. They honestcharacterize him as evil.

I wish for a nonviolent immortal intelligent loyal-to-only-me invincible pet lizard

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

16 minutes ago, The Great Wyver said:

You bully

Granted. They honestcharacterize him as evil.

I wish for a nonviolent immortal intelligent loyal-to-only-me invincible pet lizard

Granted. It’s only loyal to someone named Me. Sorry Blue.

I wish for a cookie

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

3 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

Granted. It’s only loyal to someone named Me. Sorry Blue.

I wish for a cookie

Plot twist: My name is actually Me IRL, I just changed it.

Anyways, the cookie is actually poisoned with some evil stuff.

I wish for a dollar bill.

[al_lan_mandragoran]

4 hours ago, The Great Wyver said:

I wish for a dollar bill.

Granted. It, and all the rest of your money is stolen.

I wish for a Shard.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. You cut yourself with the Shard. The glass Shard. The sharp Shard of broken glass that I capitalized and then gave to you. You do not gain any cool powers and just get infected instead. It's not a cool infection, it just hurts. Good job.

I wish Harvard University wants me really bad

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

They do! But, unfortunately, Harvard University closed down due to unseen economic circumstances (inspiration from @mippo)

I wish for a laptop with better battery life.

[___ He/Him]

16 minutes ago, The Great Wyver said:

They do! But, unfortunately, Harvard University closed down due to unseen economic circumstances (inspiration from @mippo)

I wish for a laptop with better battery life.

Granted! The laptop battery comes to life and walks away, and lives for a hundred years, marries, has kids, and dies happily

I wish for MORE TIME.

[ThroughTheLivingSequence she/her/they/them]

Granted! The date and time at which you will die in the future has been pushed back seven minutes and four seconds .

I wish for the ability to completely understand how the physics of the universe work!

[___ He/Him]

2 minutes ago, Sequence said:

Granted! The date and time at which you will die in the future has been pushed back seven minutes and four seconds .

I wish for the ability to completely understand how the physics of the universe work!

Granted! You gain the ability but lose the will

I wish to be able to instantly assimilate any and all knowledge

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

You do! But all knowledge immedeately becomes outdated as we enter a new age.

I wish for a cool guitar.

[AltonicKeys he/him]

You get a really cool guitar. So cool in fact, that whenever you play it, it starts overheating from your playing, and bursts in flame. This paradoxically creates a cool hot guitar. The universe does not understand oxymoronic irony and thus collapses.
Good thing you have not strummed it yet. You hold a world-ending bomb in your hands. 

I wish I can eat nectarines without juice getting everywhere.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

Granted! But you now have a severe Nectarine allergy, so you have a 100% chance of dying if you eat one!

I wish for an actually accurate Tableture (basically note sheet for guitar) for the song Raise Up Your Bat

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. It's so accurate, that it's exactly as it appears in-game. It has two chords. They do not sound good. This does not help you.

I wish to be able to do anything I want whenever I want instead of procrastinating for a month