Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Rossamund]

Granted however you are now extremely clumsy and likely to instead of leaving your keys somewhere to drop them while opening the door. The Nightwatcher strongly suggests you replace any glasses with plastic cups.

I wish the Nightwatcher granted a wish of their own.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

On 1/20/2019 at 4:23 PM, Rossamund said:

I wish the Nightwatcher granted a wish of their own.

The Nightwatcher looks at you and her big luminous eyes brim with tears as she says "Thank you, sweet mortal. Thank you."

You see she always dreamed of writing poetry, but Cultivation kept her so busy with dispensing boons and banes that she never had time to try.

Unfortunately your bane is that you have to listen to her poetry.

Here's a sample of one of her Ketek's:

Quote

I am splintered Divinity
The craving soul yearns to be it's own
owning its being 
Yearning soul, craving the divine
Splintered—was I?

And one of her better free verse poems: 

Quote

 

Oh infinite Cosmos,
    how unlike a lavis polyp art thou?

In the infinitude of your infinite vastness,
    wherefore do I, a simple piece of the power of creation, pray, fit in?

Hearken to yon larkin,
    its thirst—never to be quenched

May I too—drink deeply of the glowing soul of the universe
    and I'd like a turkey sandwich too, that sounds really good.

 

Thankfully, your bane is of a limited duration. After a couple of weeks (and about 20 poetry readings) Cultivation steps in and forces the Nightwatcher back to her old job. The Nightwatcher is ok with this because she realizes that if she had continued she would have been Unmade into the 10th Unmade, Die-Groan-Laugh-at-us, the incarnation of Bad Poetry.

I wish that hemalurgy could be applied non-terminally and remove more abstract qualities of personality and also remove more mundane conditions of being. For the abstract quality type of hemalurgy, an example would be that you could spike out someone's tendency to complain about the post office, and say use that spike to give that characteristic to your cat. For the mundane condition of being type of hemalurgy, an example would be that you could spike out your tendency to get halitosis, and then give that halitosis to someone else. And since these spikes are non-terminal, they would be great for pranks.

Put a hemalurgically charged pin on your teachers chair with the abstract quality of the proclivity to flatulate explosively, and hilarity ensues. Once the pin is removed, the condition is removed as well, no harm done, all in good fun.

[StormblessedSurvivor he/him]

Granted, however, this method is now used on you to remove all your knowledge of Sanderson and the Cosmere.

 

I wish to understand people well.

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, but you end up understanding that everyone secretly despises you. 

I wish for my own logo.

[AonEne he/him]

Granted, but the logo has nothing to do with you.

I wish for this spike,

7 hours ago, StormblessedSurvivor said:

Granted, however, this method is now used on you to remove all your knowledge of Sanderson and the Cosmere.

to have double the cosmere knowledge.

[Ink he/him]

Granted. Your bane is that the spike is quite obvious coming out of your forehead. You set off every metal detector, and people always ask if you know about the five foot spike through your head. You look like a unicorn, though, so that’s fun!

 

I wish for as many fruit snacks as I could ever want.

[Brightness Warrior she/her]

Granted.

You are now morbidly obese.

I wish that there was a way to measure the strength of emotion. (Like, a unit or meter to use.)

[AonEne he/him]

Granted. These are the units, from smallest to largest:

Saven

Smokestone

Bright Sky

Voidapple

I'll even give you the patents for the terms!

Oh, by the way, @Blessing of Potency, @ShadowLord_Lith, @Ashspren, @Arlin, @Apollyon, @Voidus, and every pineapple in the world is quite annoyed that you stole their ship names and patented them. I'm betting some will forgive you, but others might not...(Those pineapples and inactive people. Hard to convince.)

I wish for you to be able to use those as units of measurement.

[Ashspren]

3 hours ago, AonEne said:

Oh, by the way, @Blessing of Potency, @ShadowLord_Lith, @Ashspren, @Arlin, @Apollyon, @Voidus, and every pineapple in the world is quite annoyed that you stole their ship names and patented them. I'm betting some will forgive you, but others might not...(Those pineapples and inactive people. Hard to convince.)

Ahem. 

Granted, but no one understands you. You make groundbreaking developments in psychology — in fact, they could potentially save lives — but they are not implemented due to their strange units of measure. You are weighed over with an intense guilt for the rest of your life. 

I wish for @Ishar‘s stash of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, which I know he has somewhere. 

[Arash.F he/him]

I wish for more upvotes, your majesty! (to Nightwatcher)

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, thay are all downvotes.

I wish for a box of macaroni.

[Mailnaise she/her]

Hey I think Dad may have told you this story little sister @Kelsier'sGodComplex~ 

Granted. You start to make it, but as you pour in the milk you realize its so rotten it is now basically cheese, (no, stone lol) and you have officially ruined the box, but you do indeed have it. 

I wish for all the idiots in this class I am in currently to leave. 

 

Quote

Granted, they are all downvotes.

That dosen't work because they asked for UPvotes. It's not granted if you give them downvotes.

Edited January 23, 2019 by Mailnaise

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, they go to your house instead.

I wish for beter speling skilz.

Edited January 23, 2019 by Lunamor

[Kelsier'sGodComplex she/her]

Granted, but you can only spell amazingly in other languages. Your English spelling skills grow even worse.

 

I wish for a 1 dollar bill.

[goody153]

The nightwatcher smiles to you and thinks "you came all the way here just to wish for a dollar ? Really ? " completely hiding her bafflement. 

Granted, she wouldn't even just give you a dollar. She'll give a billion 1 dollars. Those 1 dollars came from somewhere tho

I wish for the 17thshard to be actually a shard

[Lunamor she/her]

Granted, but it is the shard of complete and utter disappointment.

I wish for the ability to change my appearance at will.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

4 hours ago, Lunamor said:

I wish for the ability to change my appearance at will.

Granted!

As the word leaves the Nightwatcher's lips you begin to feel lightheaded, your vision closes in and the world fades to black as you swoon.

When you awaken you notice you are in a room next to a wall that stretches 90 feet above you before joining the ceiling. In front of you, you see, very obliquely, what looks to be a 45 foot tall mirror. You attempt to move, but find that the movement of your legs is restricted and you have to resort to a strange see-sawing pivoting motion for locomotion. With a sense of rising dread you hitchingly make your way towards the front face of the mirror.

When you behold your reflected visage, both of your eyes pop out and clatter noisily to the floor. Reaching into a compartment in your rear-end you draw out two new eyes that are frozen in an expression of extreme shock and you jam these new eyes into your empty eye sockets as the full horror of your situation dawns upon you.

Yep, you're now a sentient awakened Mr. Potato head, and the worst part is that that's not even your bane.Your bane is that you were awakened with the command "Be Don Rickles".

 

I wish I could play the mouth harp during a real live hootenani after drinking some authentic moonshine from a jug and not go blind.

[Arash.F he/him]

19 hours ago, Kelsier'sGodComplex said:

Granted, thay are all downvotes.

I wish for a box of macaroni.

Granted, but it's an empty box!

[StormblessedSurvivor he/him]

10 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish I could play the mouth harp during a real live hootenani after drinking some authentic moonshine from a jug and not go blind.

Granted. You do not go blind. However, you go deaf, dumb, lose your sense of smell and taste, and all musical ability.

 

I wish to be bonded to a living Knight Radiant spren that will not die, with enough Stormlight to power Surgebindings.

[Turtle373 he/him]

Granted, you bond a Radiant spren, however you bond it several years before the events of WoK, and now you have every one's favorite mentally unstable lawman, Nale, after you.

 

I wish that I don't need to exercise to stay in shape

[Ink he/him]

Granted, you instead need mental exercise.

 

I wish for voidapple to happen.

[Turtle373 he/him]

Granted, Voidus goes on a murderous rampage, I'm getting a weird sense of Deja Vu

I wish for endgame to come out 

[Sunbringer he/him]

Granted. Your wish is so worthy no curse is given 

I wish the sad things that happened at the end of v3 of rwby to not have happened!

[AonEne he/him]

On 1/22/2019 at 11:54 PM, Ashspren said:

Ahem. 

Granted, but no one understands you. You make groundbreaking developments in psychology — in fact, they could potentially save lives — but they are not implemented due to their strange units of measure. You are weighed over with an intense guilt for the rest of your life. 

I wish for @Ishar‘s stash of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, which I know he has somewhere. 

Granted. I won't even give you a bane; the bane of everyone ignoring you was enough.

1 hour ago, Sunbringer said:

Granted. Your wish is so worthy no curse is given 

I wish the sad things that happened at the end of v3 of rwby to not have happened!

Granted, but the Nightwatcher interprets "sad things" as "plot and character development" and the sad things you're probably thinking about still happen.

Spoiler

I'm wearing a shirt with Pyrrha's emblem and the words "Do you believe in destiny" on it. SUFFFEEERRRRRRRRR

I wish for more Pringles. Normal Pringles, with a bane utterly unrelated to them.

[Ashspren]

7 minutes ago, AonEne said:

Granted. I won't even give you a bane; the bane of everyone ignoring you was enough.

Much appreciated.  

7 minutes ago, AonEne said:

I wish for more Pringles. Normal Pringles, with a bane utterly unrelated to them.

The Nightwatcher shrugs. Fine, you get your Pringles. They’re sour cream and ranch flavored (yum) and completely, utterly normal. 

Your completely unrelated bane is that you are forced to die your hair different colors every day, and I get to choose. MWAHAHAHAHA... you know that I’m terrible with fashion, so good luck with that.  

~~~ 

I beseech the Nightwatcher for a can of root beer.