Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Zath he/him]

1 hour ago, Ishar said:

I wish for a pet moose that does whatever I say.

Granted.  Your new pet moose will do whatever you say, and will do nothing except what you tell it to do.  Including breathe.  And eat, and sleep, etc.  You spend years of your life telling the moose to inhale, then exhale, then eat this, then drink that, so on and so forth, until you lose all patience.  ...The moose venison turns out quite good, actually. (I'm so sorry.)

I call upon the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon: I wish for a jet-pack.

[Ishar]

Granted, but you can’t figure out how to power it.

I wish my pet moose to be alive again.

[Ashspren]

1 hour ago, Ishar said:

Granted, but you can’t figure out how to power it.

I wish my pet moose to be alive again.

NO NOT THE MOOSE!

Your moose is alive again, and it lives for the average life span of a moose. However, you don’t want it to die at that time. You make it so that your moose has an extended lifespan, and you believe that this is all good. However, the years are actually being transferred from the person you care for the most at a given point. This damage is irreversible. When the love of your life dies from transferring years to your moose, you are very, very sad. You leave the moose in the wilderness, and let no one come close to your heart ever again. The years of your own life begin to transfer to the moose, and you die. The moose lives, though.

I wish to be able to get souvenirs from the Cosmere (Examples:  OMG look, it’s Veil’s trench coat! I’ve always wanted to see this— it’s Shai’s first stamp for soulstamping! And a feather from an Aviar! Wow!)

Edited May 4, 2018 by Ashspren
Typos. Need I say more?

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

23 minutes ago, Ashspren said:

I wish to be able to get souvenirs from the Cosmere (Examples:  OMG look, it’s Veil’s trench coat! I’ve always wanted to see this— it’s Shai’s first stamp for soulstamping! And a feather from an Aviar! Wow!)

Granted! You get Tonk Fah's soiled underwear, Rock's shaving scum, and Wayne's lucky bowler hat. Your bane is that these are the only vestments you are allowed to wear for the rest of your days. 

Needless to say you are shunned by your fellow man, but there's always a rainbow right?

With a fake mustache forged from the shorn face of a horneater, a mighty pair of briefs soiled by one of the blackest of mortal souls, and a foldable hat that actually is quite dapper, you retire to the hills and focus on your poetry. 

A group of fishermen at the base of your hill give you all the fish guts and brown rice you require for sustenance, and all that is required of you is to compose sonnets in praise of the beauty of their womenfolk.

Truly you attain the high water mark of poetic brilliance, using your poetic genius to truthfully reveal the beauty of the souls and minds of this collection of hairy faced, bow-legged women.

Over the years your command of your art far outstrips the confines of mere mortal genius. As you feel the pale hand of death steal upon you, you compose your masterpiece, the culmination of the pent up anguish of a life of suffering for the sake of your art. As the final line of your poem is writ upon the page, the words begin to blaze forth in blinding golden light. You feel your form joining with this light and in one transcendent moment the entirety of creation is revealed, your mind, soul and body are one with the Universe.You feel your essence being pulled upwards, ever upwards until you find your mind spread out, expansive yet whole.

When the villagers learn of your death, they mourn for an entire month. A mighty heap of fish-guts and brown rice is burned nightly. As the smoke drifts up from your memorial offering, the villagers glance up and see a new constellation in the night sky. To their red-rimmed eyes, clouded with tears, this constellation looks like a mustachioed man, wearing only underwear and a bowler hat.

 

I wish that my cat didn't yell at me to get treats in the morning.

[The Hope of Elantris]

Granted! 

Now, it mews in the middle of the night!

I wish for a cookie....

Edited May 4, 2018 by The Hope of Elantris

[Xtafa]

I wish @The Hope of Elantris had a wish

[Kidpen he/him]

Just now, Xtafa said:

I wish @The Hope of Elantris had a wish

He did. Reload.

[Devout Pathian]

Granted, TUBA gives you a cookie, which is Certified Non-Hemalurgic.  Your bane is that you can no longer make or buy cookies.  You have to rely on others for the cookie fix.

I wish that I was done packing.

 

[The Hope of Elantris]

Granted in the next 2 hours, but you forget your phone charger.

I wish I had a mustache as beautiful as Kidpen’s. 

[Ishar]

Granted, but it is on the wrong side of your head.

I wish to have a pet mistwraith.

[Supreme King Z-arc he/him]

Granted you have a mistwraith, but it is as large as this one and very difficult to control

I wish superman and batman to be the same person 

Edited May 4, 2018 by Skip Hates Dragons

[Ishar]

Granted. They both become the same person. By which of course, I mean they combine to become the super powerful Super Bat! This Super Bat unfortunately likes dark places, and destroys the sun in an attempt to get what it wants. This kills everything, including the Super Bat.

I wish for a hemalurgic beaver.

[Supreme King Z-arc he/him]

Granted, it has one spike, which was made by killing you and stealing your intelligence 

I wish to be eaten by a kandra 

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. You are dead.

I wish to be a Kandra.

[Ishar]

Granted, Ruin takes control of you and you are forced to kill yourself.

 

I wish to have intelligence to be stolen for my hemalurgic beaver.

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted. The spike put into your Hemalurgic beaver grants it intelligence far suppassing most people's, and with his new intelligence, comes knowledge of the world and what he used to lack, and how alone he is.

He begins to harvest spikes to create more of his kind, which eventually turns into a vendetta against humanity when we try to stop him. By the time anyone realises what's happened he's already ammassed a small army of hyper-intelligent beavers inside his doom-fortress of chewed logs as they prepare for their conquest.

I wish for an Aviar companion that's been Hemalurgically spiked to be able to talk.

Edited May 4, 2018 by ScarletSabre

[Unhinged he/him]

Granted the spike makes it to heavy to fly so It just sits on your shoulder and talks about how it blames you for not being able to fly.

I wish people would stop trying to use boons to get themselves out of banes or barring that I wish the banes got progressively worse.

[Rebecca she/her]

Granted, but you now have a chull that follows you everywhere.

I wish that I could buy @I think I am here. a taco. 

[AonEne he/him]

On 5/2/2018 at 0:49 PM, Apollyon said:

Granted, but unfortunately, the pie isn't spiked.

I wish for @AonEne to actually get her little 17th Shard get-together thing to actually happen. (PLEASE!!!)

Waaaiiitt.....

What are you talking about and when/where did I say it?

[Rebecca she/her]

On 5/1/2018 at 7:48 PM, AonEne said:

I wish I could meet everyone I know on the Shard in real life. (But not if they're stalkers.)

Right here.

[AonEne he/him]

1 minute ago, Rebecca said:

Right here.

Thanks.

Uhm. Let me get on that.

[Ishar]

 

15 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Granted, but you now have a chull that follows you everywhere.

I wish that I could buy @I think I am here. a taco. 

Granted, but you can never eat a taco again.

I wish I could consume investiture like Nightblood.

[Rebecca she/her]

1 minute ago, Ishar said:

Granted, but you can never eat a taco again.

This makes me so sad.....

 

2 minutes ago, Ishar said:

I wish I could consume investiture like Nightblood.

Granted, but you cannot use this investiture in any way.

I wish for a Mistborn llama.

[Zath he/him]

7 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

I wish for a Mistborn llama.

Granted!  You have a genuine Mistborn llama, capable of burning all Allomantic metals.  Its favorite is Pewter, which it uses to spit with incredible accuracy at long range.  At any moment, you could find yourself on the receiving end of a llama saliva missile.  Other than that, it's great having a pet Mistborn llama.  
There are certain moments during the day when you feel an urgent need and an increased concern to care for your llama, giving it all the food it desires. Oddly, these moments seem to coincide with a shortage of your Zinc and Brass metal shavings. It's strange, and now that you think about it... Oh, wait, you need to feed your llama again RIGHT NOW.

I wish for wings so I can fly.

[I think I am here. he/him]

6 minutes ago, Zath said:

Granted!  You have a genuine Mistborn llama, capable of burning all Allomantic metals.  Its favorite is Pewter, which it uses to spit with incredible accuracy at long range.  At any moment, you could find yourself on the receiving end of a llama saliva missile.  Other than that, it's great having a pet Mistborn llama.  
There are certain moments during the day when you feel an urgent need and an increased concern to care for your llama, giving it all the food it desires. Oddly, these moments seem to coincide with a shortage of your Zinc and Brass metal shavings. It's strange, and now that you think about it... Oh, wait, you need to feed your llama again RIGHT NOW.

I wish for wings so I can fly.

But you can only fly while there is a highstorm within 5 meters of you. You die.

I wish @Rebecca could eat tacos.