Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

2 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I was a werewolf.

Granted, you used to be a werewolf (gotta watch your verb tense when your talking to the Nightwatcher), but now you are a plumber living in Hoboken. The one carryover you have from your former days as a werewolf is that on nights of the full moon thick matted wolf fur erupts from your ears and nostrils. So you still have a great capacity to frighten people once every 28 days.

I wish that I had a robot that did my work for me.

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

2 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, you used to be a werewolf (gotta watch your verb tense when your talking to the Nightwatcher), but now you are a plumber living in Hoboken. The one carryover you have from your former days as a werewolf is that on nights of the full moon thick matted wolf fur erupts from your ears and nostrils. So you still have a great capacity to frighten people once every 28 days.

I wish that I had a robot that did my work for me.

Okay, your brain is transplanted into a robot's body.

Your bane is that your body is constantly rusting and you have to polish it for two hours every day or become unable to move.

 

I want the nightwatcher to please make me a mistborn werewolf grey essencewielder (see the bottom of the page. Yes, I did just link you to one of my creations on creation daily).

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

25 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I want the nightwatcher to please make me a mistborn werewolf grey essencewielder (see the bottom of the page. Yes, I did just link you to one of my creations on creation daily).

Ok, so here goes. You are a mistborn, but you are in a different galaxy than Scadrial is, and a different God has created your galaxy such that foreign Investiture cannot penetrate the boundary of your Galaxy. It gets turned into fluffy bits of stardust, shaped like butterflies that flutter briefly before they drift apart and are lost in the vast emptiness of space. Sorry about that.

You are a werewolf, but wolves on your planet are really what on are planet would be referred to as hamsters, so on Nights of a full moon you find yourself pushing large spherical boulders around and twitching your nose a lot.

You have been given the power of the grey essencewielder, but unfortunately the Nightwatcher dispatched a courier to the Church of the high Dawn, and a group of sunburned Albino zealots arrives at your house and tears you limb from limb.

I wish that I could be as cool as Alec Guinness.

Edited January 1, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

19 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Ok, so here goes. You are a mistborn, but you are in a different galaxy than Scadrial is, and a different God has created your galaxy such that foreign Investiture cannot penetrate the boundary of your Galaxy. It gets turned into fluffy bits of stardust, shaped like butterflies that flutter briefly before they drift apart and are lost in the vast emptiness of space. Sorry about that.

You are a werewolf, but wolves on your planet are really what on are planet would be referred to as hamsters, so on Nights of a full moon you find yourself pushing large spherical boulders around and twitching your nose a lot.

You have been given the power of the grey essencewielder, but unfortunately the Nightwatcher dispatched a courier to the Church of the high Dawn, and a group of sunburned Albino zealots arrives at your house and tears you limb from limb.

I wish that I could be as cool as Alec Guinness.

Okay, you now always have the exact same body temperature of Alec Guinness.

 

I wish I was able to play and sing every single song I like and could summon an electric guitar out of thin air whenever I wanted to.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

26 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish I was able to play and sing every single song I like and could summon an electric guitar out of thin air whenever I wanted to.

You are given the voice of Ray Orbison, the guitar prowess of Jimi Hendrix and then transported instantaneously 60 miles above the surface of the earth. In the Mesosphere, where the air is decidedly "thin", you can summon your electric guitar. At a temperature of -100 degrees Centrigrade, you better start playing some hot licks. Assuming you don't freeze to death, you only have a little over 27 minutes to enjoy your golden voice and godlike guitar ability before you're turned into a grisly splat in some poor Iowan's cornfield.

I wish that store bought donuts were as good as donuts from donut shops.

Edited January 1, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

2 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

You are given the voice of Ray Orbison, the guitar prowess of Jimi Hendrix and then transported instantaneously 60 miles above the surface of the earth. In the Mesosphere, where the air is decidedly "thin", you can summon your electric guitar. At a temperature of -100 degrees Centrigrade, you better start playing some hot licks. Assuming you don't freeze to death, you only have a little over 27 minutes to enjoy your golden voice and godlike guitar ability before you're turned into a grisly splat in some poor Iowan's cornfield.

I wish that store bought donuts were as good as donuts from donut shops.

Okay, the Nightwatcher grants you your boon.

Your bane is that you constantly have Beseech's cover of Danzig's "Devil's Plaything" stuck in your head. The Nightwatcher decided to be kind with her banes this time.

 

I wish i was a mistborn with one randomly-generated ferring ability (choose one).

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

1 hour ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

Okay, the Nightwatcher grants you your boon.

Your bane is that you constantly have Beseech's cover of Danzig's "Devil's Plaything" stuck in your head. The Nightwatcher decided to be kind with her banes this time.

 

I wish i was a mistborn with one randomly-generated ferring ability (choose

Awwww man, I wish it was a cover of Long Way Back From Hell, oh well.

 

Granted you are a full mistborn and an aluminum ferring, but along with your powers the Nightwatcher gave you a full frontal lobotomy. Enjoy!

 

I wish that I will never loose my wallet.

Edited January 1, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

19 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Awwww man, I wish it was a cover of Long Way Back From Hell, oh well.

 

Granted you are a full mistborn and an aluminum ferring, but along with your powers the Nightwatcher gave you a full frontal lobotomy. Enjoy!

 

I wish that I will never loose my wallet.

Okay, you will never lose your wallet again because, while visiting a girl you met on an online dating site in Iowa, some jerk falls from the Mesosphere and crushes you.

 

I wish that J.R.R. Tolkien and H.P. Lovecraft were temporarily resurrected to write a epic 13-book (each being about as long as Oathbringer) series with Brandon Sanderson and all of the books were extremely awesome (please make the curse effect me personally instead of the series please please please).

Edited January 2, 2018 by The Allomantic Metalhead

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

46 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish that J.R.R. Tolkien and H.P. Lovecraft were temporarily resurrected to write a epic 13-book (each being about as long as Oathbringer) series with Brandon Sanderson and all of the books were extremely awesome (please make the curse effect me personally instead of the series please please please).

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

I wish that Humans were born fully mature and developed and would live their life in reverse. The start of life would be a period of physical weakness and wisdom and would be the time of life to reflect on the mystery of creation. The middle years would be a period of slowly gaining back faculty and bodily strength, as understanding of the world and your place in it starts to develop. The teenage years would be a period of incredible creation, a life having been lived, experiences having been had, with a brain that is in peak condition, a constitution that can turn any food (from hotdogs to boston cream pie) into useful perfect fuel, and a body that is resilient and nearly unbreakable, until finally, having completed your life's work in peak mental and physical condition, in your old age as a toddler and baby you can play with toys and have someone else change your diapers.

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker he/him]

1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

I wish that Humans were born fully mature and developed and would live their life in reverse. The start of life would be a period of physical weakness and wisdom and would be the time of life to reflect on the mystery of creation. The middle years would be a period of slowly gaining back faculty and bodily strength, as understanding of the world and your place in it starts to develop. The teenage years would be a period of incredible creation, a life having been lived, experiences having been had, with a brain that is in peak condition, a constitution that can turn any food (from hotdogs to boston cream pie) into useful perfect fuel, and a body that is resilient and nearly unbreakable, until finally, having completed your life's work in peak mental and physical condition, in your old age as a toddler and baby you can play with toys and have someone else change your diapers.

Granted, but you live eternally in a coma where you experience being Highprince Sadeas’ servant (your job is to wipe his butt) over and over and over and over again.

I want the bands of mourning (they never run out of investiture) and all ten Honorblades (fueled directly by Honor).

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

10 minutes ago, Herald Of Justice said:

I want the bands of mourning (they never run out of investiture) and all ten Honorblades (fueled directly by Honor).

Granted, but after you are gifted with these physical manifestations of unimaginable god-like power, you are immediately paralyzed from the eyebrows down. The rest of your life is spent with other people taking care of the unpleasant manifestation of digestion, you have an attendant that even has to manually do the peristalsis that your insensate throat can't accomplish (he forces the food down your esophagus by massaging your throat). Over 30 years, through a complicated systems of binary signs (you do have two eyebrows after all) you are able to communicate that if properly attached the bands of morning or the Edgedancer honorblade would be able to heal you of your current physical decrepitude. Unfortunately, your attendant responsible for peristalsis forgot to do his job as he fetched you the bands of morning and you choked to death on cream of mushroom soup. Cue the sad violins.

 

My wish is that @The Allomantic Metalhead would reply to the boon/curse specifically tailored for him:

1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

If someone else wants to keep going with this, I will add this secondary wish. I wish that Unicorns were real, and further that they were very tiny, and that I could have one as a keychain for my carkeys. For real, that would be awesome. Look, check out my tiny unicorn keychain. Yeah, I touch his horn and my allergies are totally cured.

Edited January 2, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

1 hour ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Your boon has been granted. The Nightwatcher, being the sadistic splinter of Divinity that she is, has granted you a boon which is also your curse. You hold in your hand the complete 13 volume set of The SimaCthullurion, a work of sweeping grandeur, where the realms converge, the seas become the land and the lands become the sea. Where Evil and Light fight, converge, break apart and come back together, different yet the same. And the secrets of this universe and all of the rest of the many possible universes are revealed. BUT, you are forced to make a difficult decision. You can either read this series once and then it will be destroyed, even your memories of it (except for the vague impression that it was the greatest thing every written by mortal man) or you can choose to die without having read it, and it will be discovered in Lovecraft's Mausoleum, and will exist, cherished in the hearts of man forever. This is your boon and your curse (interested to hear what decision you make).

 

I wish that Humans were born fully mature and developed and would live their life in reverse. The start of life would be a period of physical weakness and wisdom and would be the time of life to reflect on the mystery of creation. The middle years would be a period of slowly gaining back faculty and bodily strength, as understanding of the world and your place in it starts to develop. The teenage years would be a period of incredible creation, a life having been lived, experiences having been had, with a brain that is in peak condition, a constitution that can turn any food (from hotdogs to boston cream pie) into useful perfect fuel, and a body that is resilient and nearly unbreakable, until finally, having completed your life's work in peak mental and physical condition, in your old age as a toddler and baby you can play with toys and have someone else change your diapers.

14 minutes ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, but after you are gifted with these physical manifestations of unimaginable god-like power, you are immediately paralyzed from the eyebrows down. The rest of your life is spent with other people taking care of the unpleasant manifestation of digestion, you have an attendant that even has to manually do the peristalsis that your insensate throat can't accomplish (he forces the food down your esophagus by massaging your throat). Over 30 years, through a complicated systems of binary signs (you do have two eyebrows after all) you are able to communicate that if properly attached the bands of morning or the Edgedancer honorblade would be able to heal you of your current physical decrepitude. Unfortunately, your attendant responsible for peristalsis forgot to do his job as he fetched you the bands of morning and you choked to death on cream of mushroom soup. Cue the sad violins.

 

My wish is that @The Allomantic Metalhead would reply to the boon/curse specifically tailored for him:

 

If someone else wants to keep going with this, I will add this secondary wish. I wish that Unicorns were real, and further that they were very tiny, and that I could have one as a keychain for my carkeys. For real, that would be awesome. Look, check out my tiny unicorn keychain. Yeah, I touch his horn and my allergies are totally cured.

I choose death. Humanity deserves a book of grandeur made by three of the greatest authors in human history, even if I may never read it.

Your bane is that, when you die, your afterlife is just a barroom that's empty (and devoid of booze) except for me, and I know that you are the reason I was never allowed to read a work of such grandeur. Better prepare some halfway decent apologies or spend the rest of eternity getting clubbed over the head with a bar stool.

 

I wish that vampire fetishists would storm off. There's nothing sexy about a freezing cold walking corpse that rips your neck open and gorges on your blood, and it's technically necrophilia, even if they consent. And that's not even getting into the fact that they sleep in a storming coffin and can't enjoy a sunrise with you or go on a lunch date or anything like that....

Edited January 2, 2018 by The Allomantic Metalhead

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

2 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I wish that vampire fetishists would storm off. There's nothing sexy about a freezing cold walking corpse that rips your neck open and gorges on your blood, and it's technically necrophilia, even if they consent. And that's not even getting into the fact that they sleep in a storming coffin and can't enjoy a sunrise with you or go on a lunch date or anything like that....

Granted, no one likes vampires anymore. Congratulations, the Nightwatcher has made you a vampire. Internet dating sites are now intelligent enough to interpolate from how you answer questions that you really are a vampire. You spend your deathless immortal life alone, with only a teddy bear and a ragged blanket for comfort. You curse your boon and your curse, while you feast on Elderly men the rest of your days. Boo hoo.

 

I wish that Apple was just a type of fruit and not a type of computer.

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

8 hours ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

Granted, no one likes vampires anymore. Congratulations, the Nightwatcher has made you a vampire. Internet dating sites are now intelligent enough to interpolate from how you answer questions that you really are a vampire. You spend your deathless immortal life alone, with only a teddy bear and a ragged blanket for comfort. You curse your boon and your curse, while you feast on Elderly men the rest of your days. Boo hoo.

 

I wish that Apple was just a type of fruit and not a type of computer.

I never said I dodn't like vampires, just that I didn't like vampire fetishism, but that doesn't matter.

The nightwatcher grants your wish.

...right after you win a $10,000 apple gift card.

 

I wish that global warming was negated.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

51 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

I never said I dodn't like vampires, just that I didn't like vampire fetishism, but that doesn't matter.

The nightwatcher grants your wish.

...right after you win a $10,000 apple gift card.

 

I wish that global warming was negated.

Granted. Global warming is gone, and the world is again in a permanant ice age thanks to you.

I call on the Nightwatcher to fulfill my boon. I wish for a happy new year.

 

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker he/him]

Granted, but you always feel a body temperature of 500 degrees Fahrenheit, and yet it will never kill you or cause any harm upon you.

I want an upvote.

Edited January 2, 2018 by Herald Of Justice

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

The Nightwatcher denies you of this boon, that is not how this game is played. 

I call on the Nightwatcher to fill my boon. I wish for the ability to fall asleep whenever I try to, and to wake up when I intend to.

Edited January 2, 2018 by ElephantEarwax

[Nathrangking he/him]

13 minutes ago, Herald Of Justice said:

I want an upvote.

Unfortunately the power of the shard is greater than any the nightwatcher has ever known. She incurs the wrath of Chaos and is splintered in an attempt to fulfill your wish.

I call on the Nightwatcher to fill my boon. I wish for the ability to fall asleep whenever I try to, and to wake up when I intend to.

@ElephantEarwax your boon is granted however you will never feel refreshed after waking up.

I call upon the powers of the Nightwatcher splinters to fulfill my boon. I wish for my every meal to be perfectly cooked.

Edited January 2, 2018 by Nathrangking

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

11 minutes ago, Herald Of Justice said:

Granted, but you always feel a body temperature of 500 degrees Fahrenheit, and yet it will never kill you or cause any harm upon you.

I want an upvote.

Granted.

Your bane is that everyone now mocks everything you say.

 

I wish I had an awesome magical eyepatch (I currently have both of my eyes, but eyepathces are awesome).

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker he/him]

22 minutes ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

Granted.

Your bane is that everyone now mocks everything you say.

 

I wish I had an awesome magical eyepatch (I currently have both of my eyes, but eyepathces are awesome).

Granted, but every time you use your magic (turning people’s hair to poop) one member of your family or friends starts hating you.

I want to control the powers of time.

[Kaleid]

Congratulations, you now control the power of time. Unfortunately, your powers can't affect you directly, so you must continue to travel through time like you always have. (instead, you get to send other people gallivanting through time! Yippee!)

 

I wish I could no longer fall sick or hungry

[The Allomantic Metalhead he/him]

1 hour ago, Kaleid said:

Congratulations, you now control the power of time. Unfortunately, your powers can't affect you directly, so you must continue to travel through time like you always have. (instead, you get to send other people gallivanting through time! Yippee!)

 

I wish I could no longer fall sick or hungry

Okay, you never fall while sick or hungry. You still fall as normal and get sick and hungry as normal, just never fall while sick or hungry.

Your bane is that you're now related to Girard Draketooth. Read The Order of the Stick if you want to find out why that's a very, very, very bad thing.

 

I wish I had the combined powers of Obliteration, Mitosis, and Nightwielder.

[Lord Mistborn Bondbreaker he/him]

3 hours ago, The Allomantic Metalhead said:

Okay, you never fall while sick or hungry. You still fall as normal and get sick and hungry as normal, just never fall while sick or hungry.

Your bane is that you're now related to Girard Draketooth. Read The Order of the Stick if you want to find out why that's a very, very, very bad thing.

 

I wish I had the combined powers of Obliteration, Mitosis, and Nightwielder.

Granted, but you must constantly be watching Twilight nonstop for the rest of your life.

I want a bucket of ice cream that magically refills itself. 

[TJtheWiz]

Granted, but the ice cream is your least favorite flavor of ice cream (whatever it is).

I wish for the power of super speed.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

3 hours ago, TJtheWiz said:

I wish for the power of super speed.

As soon as the last word leaves your lips, the vaporous green form of the Nightwatcher seems to freeze in place, and you notice the whole jungle has become deathly still. Taking this as a bad sign you walk out of the dense forest and reach the broad plains outside the valley. You notice that it is raining, but all around you millions of raindrops hang suspended in the air. Looking at a single drop that is hanging right before your eyes, you poke it with your finger. As soon as your finger touches the raindrop it slides down your finger and when it drips off you see that it once again hangs motionless in the air. Sitting down you watch another raindrop suspended 4 feet above the ground. Over the next 10 minutes it imperceptibly moves closer to the ground until it finally hits. Over the next minute you watch as the teardrop shaped drop of water collides with the ground, flattens and then spreads out into a burst of smaller droplets.

Then you realize your boon is really your curse. You are indeed super fast, but it's a relativistic speed. Time seems to pass normally for you, but you are actually living at a massively sped up time scale. 1 second of time to the outside world takes a full 10 minutes to play out in your altered time state. Then the true nature of your bane strikes you. Every day that you go to work, you'll be spending 4,800 hours of relativistic time to do a single 8 hour days worth of work. You decide to jump off a cliff and end your miserably boring life. Jumping from a 50 foot cliff it takes you nearly a full hour to fall to your death, giving you plenty of time to reconsider your hasty decision to kill yourself, but unfortunately it's too late.

 

I wish my dog could live to be 30 years old and be in perfect health his whole life. He's a good boy.

Edited January 3, 2018 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine