Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Alfa he/him]

Granted. You got the five books of "A Song of Ice and Fire". You are forced to read them all in a row. Also you are forced to feal the pain of each important character during his/her death. For help: Here is a picture showing, when important characters are dying.

 

Further hint: most of this deaths are very cruel.

I wish for an easy way to climb the unclimbable mountains and to find the man. With protection from high- and everstorms.

[Adamir he/him]

Granted. You arrive ten minutes after the Everstorm, at a convenient lobby and elevator that has a 24/7 force of two dozen parshmen keeping it clean and dust free.

 

I wish to be able to erase the spoiler of Tyrion's death in Season 5 Episode 10 from my brain.

 

Edit: Sorry for the lack of originality, I could not resist when you put Everstorm in your boon request.

Edited August 24, 2015 by Adamir

[Alfa he/him]

Not this parshmen-after-everstorm-crem again...
Granted. You now have the spoiler, that Dany is eaten up by a Dragon riden by a White-Walker-Tyrion in S6E1.
I wish all the new-voidbringers catapulted through the cosmere. Preferable to Scadrial. To the feat of Marsh. In his worst mood.

[Curiosity he/him]

The Voidbringers are catapulted through the Cosmere, zooming through the positive curvature of Riemannian space, all the way back to Roshar. The Nightwatcher does not listen to preferences. 

 

I wish for a box of indestructible pencils.

Edited August 24, 2015 by Curiosity

[Juanaton he/him]

Granted. Since writing with pencils is dependent on their destruction, you now have a box of indestructable pencil shaped sticks.

 

I wish to become one of Brandon's pre-release readers. (I don't know what the offical term for these people is, they are the people who read an author's works before they come out and give constructive feedback...kind of like editors, but with less power I think.)

[happyman he/him]

Granted. Since writing with pencils is dependent on their destruction, you now have a box of indestructable pencil shaped sticks.

 

I wish to become one of Brandon's pre-release readers. (I don't know what the offical term for these people is, they are the people who read an author's works before they come out and give constructive feedback...kind of like editors, but with less power I think.)

 

The terms they usually use are "alpha reader" and "beta reader."  Alpha readers are trusted to see the crudest text shown to anybody not actually related to them.  Beta readers are much more common and are invited when the story really, seriously needs input from the outside.

[Young Bard he/him]

Granted. However, the day before you start, you fall to an accident that makes you go blind.

 

I want to have the memories of reading Brandons books removed, so I can reread them and feel the majesty all over again.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

That can be arranged, to add to that all of the words on the page are now too fuzzy to read and if you try to listen to them on audiobook, all you can hear is shshshshsh. If only you could remember the fact that this bane is based off of Dalinar's!

I want to time-travel.

[Kobold King he/him]

I want to time-travel.

 

Granted! You can only time-travel into eras more misogynist than the one you're currently in. That applies to return trips, too. If you zap back to the 13th century, you can say goodbye to the progressive 21st.

 

 

I wish for my own dinosaur farm.

[Alfa he/him]

Granted. T-Rex farm with approximately 1500 dinosaurs. You have to feed them but no food at the moment. If you don't they will break out and eat everything you ever loved. Also, after that they became Alcatraz-dinosaurs, who will ever complain about evil bibliothecars and believe, that you are one of them.

 

I wish  the voidbringers currently flying back to Roshar to change their course to the feet of Marsh in his worst mood.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

It shall be as you wish, however, the Voidbringers don't really change course, because marsh is standing directly behind you. Have fun!

I wish to only time-travel forwards instead of backwards.

[Ookla the Absent]

OK, but you can't decide how far forward you go.

I wish my brain connected to the internet.

[mail-mi he/him]

OK, but you can't decide how far forward you go.

I wish my brain connected to the internet.

 

Granted. You may now have the entirety of the internet in your mind and break from information overload.

I wish i could get my homework done.

[nicocoberru she/her]

Granted, but you'll always finish them a week after the deadlines. Ouch.

I want to learn how to do things without studying them. I want to learn a language? I just wake up one day knowing everything there is to know about it.

[Ookla the Absent]

Granted, but you'll always finish them a week after the deadlines. Ouch.

I want to learn how to do things without studying them. I want to learn a language? I just wake up one day knowing everything there is to know about it.

Granted, but you never have a chance to apply anything you learn this way.

I wish I could change the material composition of anything.

[anonymous2017]

I wish I could change the material composition of anything.

 

Granted. Anything you touch becomes gold, unless you touch gold, which then becomes electrium.

 

I would like to know the question of life, the universe, and everything.

[Juanaton he/him]

42. 

That's the answer, but he asked for the question...

[WayneSpren he/him]

Granted. Anything you touch becomes gold, unless you touch gold, which then becomes electrium.

 

I would like to know the question of life, the universe, and everything.

The answer is cheese. But you are forever unable to eat cheese.

[Ookla the Absent]

The answer is cheese. But you are forever unable to eat cheese.

No, he's asking for the question.

[Juanaton he/him]

The question is 6x9, if I recall correctly. 

Actually, I think the "computer" running the computation to determine what the question was became contaminated by a crashed spaceship bearing all of the "useless" people from some other planet, who then caused the extinction of the original inhabitants...so the correct question was never able to be determined. The question they find is the result of that corruption...if I remember correctly from when I read that book 16 years ago...

[killersquirrel59 he/him]

Holy crap, is this thread still going? I started this almost a year ago. 

 

And to answer the last boon asked, ok. You know the ultimate question to the ultimate answer. And to quote the author of that series, immediately upon discovering exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, the entire universe immediately ceases to exist and is replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable (not for the first time).

I ask the Nightwatcher for all the knowledge possessed by Hoid.

[STINK he/him]

You get the information, but are unable to communicate it to anyone.

 

I ask the Nightwatcher for great cooking skills.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

You have wonderful cooking skills, but are forced to purposely ruin your food before you serve or eat it.

I never choose to use my time traveling ability, but I want to meet the Doctor.

[Windreader she/her]

Granted. You break your finger and need to see a doctor.

I wish people weren't too busy to talk Cosmere.

[Ookla the Absent]

Granted, you find the 17th shard, but Chaos' Banhammer *slips* at Nightwatcher's bidding.

I wish for a porpoise, along with the means to take care of it.