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Posted

Granted. To get them, you must constantly fight the minions from "Despicable Me." Purple ones.

I wish for all football games to be nailbiters.

Posted

Granted. However, everyone will always pass on second and goal. 

Also, all the players have severe cases of syphilis.

 

I wish I never had to sleep 

Posted

Granted. You will feel a stabbing pain through your heart every time someone makes a grammatical error within fifty feet of you; a person using "y'all" to refer to a singular person would actually kill you dead.

 

Y'all should be careful.

 

I wish for fifty clones of myself.

Posted

Granted. You will feel a stabbing pain through your heart every time someone makes a grammatical error within fifty feet of you; a person using "y'all" to refer to a singular person would actually kill you dead.

Y'all should be careful.

I wish for fifty clones of myself.

They are temporal clones pulled from various points in the timeline. One of your future selves has lingering regret about something you will do in the future and desires to kill you to erase himself from existence. He's persuaded most of the others by now.

Hmm. I wish to be Firefight.

Posted

Granted. However, you have all of the weaknesses that you, yourself, would have. (how's that for a spoiler-free answer) All liquids taste like over-saturated peach Kool-aid

 

I wish for TROGDOR the BURNINATOR

Posted (edited)

as you didn't wish, I'll give you a carnivorious pony that attacks anything that moves. It's for you to decide if that's a gift or a curse.

 

I wish I wasn't cursed to never get upvotes. (which isn't working very well anyway. I've got at least five upvotes since I got that curse)

Edited by jasonpenguin
Posted

Granted. 

 

You've lost all feeling in your toes. 

 

I wish I had enough money that I didn't have to work and could just read all day.

Posted

Granted. You can no longer taste/smell food and drink. 

 

I wish for twelve liters of acid to be dumped on my enemy's head.

 

Granted. Double that amount is dumped on your head when you least expect it.

 

Also, your enemy survives but is horribly mutilated. (S)he takes immediate legal action against you, using your history on this thread as evidence against you. While no legal precedent has been set concerning the Nightwatcher, I'm sure the opposing lawyer could make an excellent argument for your wish being an attempted contract killing.

 

I wish for the ability to flawlessly predict the future political climate of any city or nation.

Posted

Granted. Lights are now intensified 500%, but only in your head. A dim bulb will be like the sun in your eyes, and the sun itself would blind you forever. 

 

I wish for a defense attorney that wins my case

Posted

Granted. Lights are now intensified 500%, but only in your head. A dim bulb will be like the sun in your eyes, and the sun itself would blind you forever. 

 

I wish for a defense attorney that wins my case

Granted. The you feel a terrible guilt every time you drink water because not everyone in the world has water.

 

I wish for the ability to go through walls and other things at will.

Posted

Granted. The you feel a terrible guilt every time you drink water because not everyone in the world has water.

I wish for the ability to go through walls and other things at will.

You can now access the Aon of teleportation at will. Hope you have good aim and drawing skills.

I wish the next person to wish for something will fail to notice his bane for all eternity, thus being unable to ask to fix it.

Posted

Granted, but from now on, you won't notice doors.

 

I wish to be able to fly (let's say like Superman)

Posted

Granted. Trees are invisible to you now, though. You will be remembered in history as Mestiv, the Man who Walks into Trees. News interviews will happen. You will be famous. Over the course of time, though, you will slowly turn into legend, so much so that you will eventually be a joke, as follows:

 

A man walks into a bar. (Pause) Oh wait, that was a tree. Poor Mestiv...

 

It shall be the funniest joke on Tarchuan, third planet of the star Yggdrasil.

 

 

I wish to be able to read and comprehend multiple things at once.

Posted

Granted.  You can read, but you cannot comprehend what you read :)

 

I wish that I had free oreos for life (just the standard flavor.  Nothing else.  The curse cannot alter the oreos or my ability to eat and enjoy them).

Posted

Granted.  You can read, but you cannot comprehend what you read :)

 

I wish that I had free oreos for life (just the standard flavor.  Nothing else.  The curse cannot alter the oreos or my ability to eat and enjoy them).

 

Granted. You become so grotesquely hideous that the mere sight of you will turn mortals to stone, like Medusa of old. Walking into a store will instantly kill every clerk and worker in the building, allowing you to walk out with as many oreos as you can carry.

 

I wish for impenetrable skin.

Posted

Granted. You become so grotesquely hideous that the mere sight of you will turn mortals to stone, like Medusa of old. Walking into a store will instantly kill every clerk and worker in the building, allowing you to walk out with as many oreos as you can carry.

 

I wish for impenetrable skin.

Alright, oxygen also can't enter your lungs.

 

I wish for a healing factor.

Posted

Granted. 

 

You've lost all feeling in your toes. 

 

I wish I had enough money that I didn't have to work and could just read all day.

This is weird, but my foot literally started falling asleep the second before I read that... O_o

Posted

Alright, oxygen also can't enter your lungs.

 

I wish for a healing factor.

 

Granted, you have a healing factor of .5

 

I wish I had all the materials, time and willpower to make my Shardbearing Windrunner cosplay.

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