Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

1 minute ago, ..... said:

Granted it is now an audiobook that is slowed down to the point where it takes an hour to play a single word

 

I wish I had all A’s

Granted, your new name is: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted, but I went back in time and took your mouth. You cannot tell me your wish now.

I wish for a million bajillion dollars in cash

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

Granted, it appears on top of you and crushes you to death
I wish for an objectively good thing with no loopholes or negative consequences 

[Aeoryi she/her]

59 minutes ago, SpartanBrigade said:

Granted, it appears on top of you and crushes you to death
I wish for an objectively good thing with no loopholes or negative consequences 

Granted. Because there is no objective good, you are given a "Get out of jail free" card to play, which will negate any negative consequences. Unfortunately, it is only accepted should you find yourself in the jail of the hit game "Monopoly", and it only works once.

 

I wish that I could see status effects in real life.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

4 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Granted. Because there is no objective good, you are given a "Get out of jail free" card to play, which will negate any negative consequences. Unfortunately, it is only accepted should you find yourself in the jail of the hit game "Monopoly", and it only works once.

 

I wish that I could see status effects in real life.

Granted, but they're so bright they hurt your eyes to look at them.

I wish for a $25 Barnes & Nobles gift card.

[Aeoryi she/her]

5 hours ago, Wyver said:

Granted, but they're so bright they hurt your eyes to look at them.

I wish for a $25 Barnes & Nobles gift card.

Granted. It comes with a $25.01 activation fee.

I wish that pyramids with a square base were called square cones.

 

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Granted. It comes with a $25.01 activation fee.

I wish that pyramids with a square base were called square cones.

 

Granted but they aren’t ever invented 

i wish for a pillow

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

Granted. For once it's just a nice pillow with no caveats.
(Skip me)

Edited May 15, 2025 by SpartanBrigade

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

3 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Granted but they aren’t ever invented 

i wish for a pillow

the pillow is made of Wayne. he 'trades' with you every night

I wish to ascend to the shard of corruption

[Tinwatcher I don’t mind]

17 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

the pillow is made of Wayne. he 'trades' with you every night

I wish to ascend to the shard of corruption

The intent controls you.

i wish to become a Mistborn 

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. The moment you try ingesting pewter, the lead contact gets you deathly ill. Burning the pewter only gets you back to your base condition. Eating modern pewter won't work because there is no lead.
Trying to get any other metal blows you up by the way.

I wish to never get sick again, while also being able to go about my life normally.

[Through the Living Shadow he/him]

Well, if only you any life to go about. A shame.

I wish I can travel through time.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

granted. you can travel through time specifically to the big bang, and you do it constantly

I wish for someone to grant my wish

[Through the Living Shadow he/him]

I do, and I also grant your bane of it immediately being taken from you.

I wish for a bane.

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Granted you gain a bane but you also gain a boon the negates the affects of the bane

i wish for not having eaten the tuna that made me throw up earlier

[Through the Living Shadow he/him]

5 minutes ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

Granted you gain a bane but you also gain a boon the negates the affects of the bane

i wish for not having eaten the tuna that made me throw up earlier

Granted, but I also make you throw up forcibly.

I wish to know what Deca tastes like

Edited May 16, 2025 by SpiritOfWrath

[___ He/Him]

33 minutes ago, SpiritOfWrath said:

Granted, but I also make you throw up forcibly.

I wish to know what Deca tastes like

Granted, but as I have only a vague notion of what that is, you get a lollipop instead.

I wish banana.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

2 hours ago, coinshot1 said:

Granted, but as I have only a vague notion of what that is, you get a lollipop instead.

I wish banana.

Granted, you are a banana and can only feel pain

I wish for

[THE SEER OF ALL genderfluid]

Yes, you get Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

because that’s what I think it says

i wish to be not but yes and no raccoon 

[SpartanBrigade He/Him]

1 hour ago, THE DEMON said:

i wish to be not but yes and no raccoon 

Granted. You have been transformed into the word "yes". Your consciousness is split through thousands of books, articles, essays, and times, fracturing your mind. You float in a void of nothing and yet everything all at once. Vaguely, vaguely you remember that you used to be more, that you used to be whole but can't think beyond that. This is now your existence until the end of time. Also no raccoons are involved just as requested.

[The Great Wyver She/Her]

since @SpartanBrigade didnt give a wish, I will.

I wish for a $3 dollar bill that I can legally use.

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

granted. you can legaly use it, but its a black hole

I wish for my wish to not be granted.

[___ He/Him]

Granted, but it's granted.

I wish for a bane

[KaladinsSenseOfHumourSpren He/Him]

Granted, but it comes with a boon: that the wish was granted. I guess that the fact that you got a boon is also a bane, but you asked for a bane which makes it technically a boon...

I that everyone on the Shard would be on the same timezone.

 

 

[AltonicKeys he/him]

Granted. This is achieved by removing public access to the Shard. If anyone wants to visit the webpage, they must travel to an office building in Ethiopia. On the 5th floor of this building, only accessible via a 5ft wide spiral staircase, sits a singular computer. This device holds the entirety of the Shard, and you are allowed to use it in 10 minute sessions. Upon visiting Ethiopia, the first use is free, but each subsequent session costs $20, plus $5 for each additional use. After 10 uses, you are flown out of the country. Not to your original hometown, but to a Swedish countryside where no one speaks your language. You must learn their language, befriend a retired pilot, and embark on a journey back home. You will get lost. You may not get home on that same plane. The pilot may even die tragically, making you wonder if this trip was worth it. But in order to use the Shard again, you must make this pilgrimage each time.

I wish for some ice cream :^)