People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley

[Redbird he/him]

Redbird dropped down through the ceiling, the sound of a dragon in flight faded into the distance.  "Thought I might as well join the party, since the echidnas have arrived."

Edited December 12, 2014 by Redbird3000

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

Queen Elsa ran up to Winter unconscious on the floor. "What did you do to her??"

[Fatebreaker he/him]

The Stranger shook his head as he walked over.

 

"Well that escalated quickly."

 

He turned to the others

 

"Quick thinking Gleeman, though unnecessary. This is a Satelite facility, remember? Not only is there nothing to discover here, but there's no wifi. Or phoneservice. Or landlines. In fact , the only reliable way to send messages is via messenger pigeon. And even then, those get eaten sometimes. Anyway, let's try not to taze guests, even when they do infiltrate decoy alleys.  Elsa, I apologize for the theatrics, there was a small misunderstanding. Delivery-master Gleeman was simply following protocol. And it was rather rude of Ms. Winter to be on her cellular-tele-communication-device during a social occurrence, wouldn't you agree? Kids these days, no sense of propriety, eh Voidus? Also Elsa, I would advise reading the Mistborn series before you go about trying to remove spikes, or you could end up in some messy situations.

But no to the matter at hand."

 

He leaned down and pulled a small vial of golden-yellow liquid, which he uncorked and held under Winter's nose. Her eyes slowly blinked open. The Stranger smiled one of his reassuring smiles, which came off as insane rather than reassuring, and helped her to her feet.

 

"Now let's clear a few things up. Winter here is the one who initially approached us, not vice versa. At first she just wanted to make a purchase, but then she chose to sign up for some of our other programs. You can check the earlier pages of this thread if you don't believe me. Now she's decided to go and do her own thing, as young people are wont to do. We do not begrudge her this freedom, nor do we consider her a monster. An interesting discovery for science yes, but not a monster. We don't believe in making monsters, and if we did they most certainly wouldn't come from Alley 60. So lets settle this business. I can't speak for an Denizen other than myself, but I will happily let Winter continue to remain free, unharmed, and under only mild surveillance as long as she refrains from silly behavior such as trying to share company information. If she at any point does try and declare war, I will unfortunately be forced to test my new Harpoon gun on a certain species of creature of the four-leg-ed persuasion. Are we all agreed? Splendid, now let's resume enjoying this wonderful evening. Leonard, fetch some punch for our guests. I believe the Demonstrations will be starting soon."

[Screwloose]

In the confusion following Winter's capture few noticed, and fewer cared about, the appearance of a figure in the robes and mask of an acolyte. The figure strode towards the scene, nodding towards the ally members still lurking around.

 

"I didn't expect her to move quite so soon... Still, it was a boring party anyway, even if there were a few potential resources about." 

 

From the gutter a dim light glows, the figure stoops to retrieve the object emitting the light.

 

"What do we have here? Looks like she tried to send something. Oh this is veeerry interesting. It would be a shame to leave such a useful piece of leverage behind"

 

The figure turns, removing the phones battery before pocketing it and striding from the scene.

[Voidus]

Voidus sighed deeply, as always life in the Alleys was certainly interesting. A little too interesting of late. Still, the time for the demonstrations had nearly arrived and he was eager to see the progress made by the various teams, the teams who had started investigation of animal subjects certainly had a few promising experiments.

"Quite right, quite right. On with the evenings entertainment I think, let us show our sponsor that what has happened here with poor Winter was but a mistake. Now who's first to present their latest findings?"

[mail-mi he/him]

Mail-mi snickered. Demonstrations, he thought. More like Demon-strations.

"Well," he said aloud, "you've already seen one of my creations. But I can certainly assure you, there's plenty more, and they won't try to ruin the party."

[18th Shard he/him]

People with spikes were so storming awkward. Xanas glanced down at the dozens of spikes in his arms, then started tapping Duralumin. He burnt Zinc and Brass, then copper for good measure. Putting his flowing mistsuitcoat over his shirt, he walked into the party with a smile, instantly connecting with those around him. The subtle emotional nudges were barely noticeable; even Breeze Ladrian would have been hard pressed to notice. He searched out Winter's receding form with Compounded Tin, then reached out with a double-Lerasium strengthed Sooth (enough Spikes added up), clearing Winter of any emotion, and Rioted the small amount of trust she harbored deep inside.

"That won't happen again, Your Majesty," he said, smiling at the Queen of Epics. He shivered, then tapped Brass. Why can't she keep the cold outside?

"Mail-mi did a great job with my spike placement, and I turned out wonderful. There's only a few voices in my head, and they just keep track of baking recipes. After all, what is a spike without a sweetener?"

Turning to the Stranger (really, why did he insist on a dramatic name? It's not like we can't tell who it is), Xanas congratulated him on the party decor. He walked to Voidus with a gleam in his spikes and whispered dramatically, "We can show them the new Inquiceratops we've been developing. I'll go get them and check on our returning ... participant." Xanas turned an walked toward the maze of Alleys, following the receding footsteps of the acolytes. He pulled out a walkie-talkie and pressed the button.

"Redbird, send in two of the better trained Inquiceratops. Have one of the Soother handlers stay close. We don't need to put people off anymore than we already have. Oh, and tell Mail to get out some earrings or something flashy."

He replaced the walkie-talkie in his cloak, pulling out a copper spike and a modified dog-whistle. He stopped by Alley 95, handing them to the guard. "She will probably need re-conditioned. If her identity and new found love of freedom prove in the way, use the spike. The chromium has had ... unexpected problems. Make sure to keep her contained. And find TalNaat. Tell him to look like Winter and act like she's clamed down."

"Yes, sir."

Xanas grabbed a box of brownies and jumped on Gleeman's golfcart. "Heading to the party?" Gleeman inquired.

"Yes, please."

 

Xanas made his second dramatic entrance of the night, this one more dramatic because he had put the brownies on metal plates and was carefully alternating Pushes and Pulls to make them float. "Brownies anyone?"

[Redbird he/him]

"Are you sure about the inquiceratops? Redbird asked," We have many more interesting creations." He walked out into an alley, only to return a few minutes later, leading the soother and what had been a triceratops. Only now it had been improved with hemalurgy. He pointed to the soother," Hold on to that while I go prepare something a bit more impressive." He then disappeared back into the alleyways.

Edited December 14, 2014 by Redbird3000

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

People with spikes were so storming awkward. Xanas glanced down at the dozens of spikes in his arms, then started tapping Duralumin. He burnt Zinc and Brass, then copper for good measure. Putting his flowing mistsuitcoat over his shirt, he walked into the party with a smile, instantly connecting with those around him. The subtle emotional nudges were barely noticeable; even Breeze Ladrian would have been hard pressed to notice. He searched out Winter's receding form with Compounded Tin, then reached out with a double-Lerasium strengthed Sooth (enough Spikes added up), clearing Winter of any emotion, and Rioted the small amount of trust she harbored deep inside.

"That won't happen again, Your Majesty," he said, smiling at the Queen of Epics. He shivered, then tapped Brass. Why can't she keep the cold "outside?

The Queen smiled back. "The cold never bothered me anyway." She moved her hands a snowflake jumper appeared, floating above her hand and threw it to him. "That should work. Also, I would love a brownie, thank you. I did not relise the Dark Alley made those as well Edited December 14, 2014 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[mail-mi he/him]

Mail-mi overheard Xanas tell Redbird to tell him to get out the earrings. Of course! How did I not think of that!

"I'll be back in a moment," Mail-mi said. He ran out of the dance room and sped towards Alley 68--his earring lab. He grabbed an assorted collection of earrings, then headed back to the party.

[18th Shard he/him]

The Queen smiled back. "The cold never bothered me anyway." She moved her hands a snowflake jumper appeared, floating above her hand and threw it to him. "That should work. Also, I would love a brownie, thank you. I did not relise the Dark Alley made those as well

"Why, thank you! Also, my spikes allow to hear grammar mistakes, and you really didn't mean relies, you meant realize"

Redbird brought in the Inquiceratops and they began to walk around. Xanas smiled. They were much more effective in battle. 

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

"Why, thank you! Also, my spikes allow to hear grammar mistakes, and you really didn't mean relies, you meant realize"

The Queen smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I've never tried to make a jumper out of my powers before. And thanks for the correction, that word has a couple of alternate spellings and sometimes confuses me :D" Edited December 16, 2014 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Voidus]

Voidus started off the presentation with one of his own latest works. A stage had been set up along with a lighting rig, Voidus pulled out his phone and dimmed the lights with a few quick taps.

"Well thank you all for coming, I hope you've enjoyed the refreshments." Voidus greeted with a smile. "To kick off this presentation please allow me to reveal some of my latest work. I'd like to thank the lurkers of the Alleys for their assistance, the introduction threads for their provision of... raw materials and finally I would like to thank those of the RP for providing some excellent inspiration." Voidus grinned.

"So let's start off with... cricket!"

Another few taps on his phone shone a spotlight onto the stage, revealing a woman in black track pants and a singlet.

"Through some revolutionary use of bind points the captured physical strength has been placed entirely within the subjects leg muscles, due to this placement the-"
Voidus broke off briefly with a glance to the guests, they almost certainly new what the work in the alleys entailed but still, it was best to get used to concealing certain facts during public presentations.

"the er, items can be easily hidden without seeming suspicious."

The subject 'cricket-alpha' did a quick twirl, only close inspection would reveal the small bumps at the back of her thighs. She then jumped off the stage easily reaching a standing jump height of 10 metres before flipping in the air and landing delicately behind the audience.

"And this is just the first of what the alleys have been up to. I shall now hand over to some of our most esteemed researchers to present their findings."

Voidus clapped to the waiting line of researchers, all excited to reveal what they'd been working on.

[18th Shard he/him]

Xanas walked in to the spotlight, carrying a pack of small, curved spikes.

"These, my fellow Sharders, are the new thing all over the cosmere. These Ferurings hold an hour of Feruchemical charges, stored via our Hemalurgy Compounding division in Alley 18. One first must be a Ferring of the desired metal (and for those who are not, I have some goods that will interest in Alley 2), and then one merely takes the Feruring and places it in the ear like an earring. Instead of storing health, luck, or connection the old fashioned way, we here at the Dark Alley will do it for you, giving you the benefits without the costs. Recharges are available all over, ready for you to walk in and buy a Alley 18 cookie package. These are great as gifts, rewards, or even presents on a special holiday. We here in the Dark Alley have already been contacted by Inquisitor Santa, who has ordered 300 for children around the globe. Come and get yours now while supplies last."

 

Overhead, the speakers played a 10 second disclaimer in a low, unintelligible voice. Xanas stepped back while several robed acolytes began to demonstrate the spikes' capabilities. He turned to Voidus. "I'll have to add 'may be addictive in select cases' to the disclaimer. as one uses the spikes, a tolerance begins to develop and they have less effect. Fortunately, those spiked whitespines have been trained to fill metalminds systematically. They work well. I'll have to congratulate Redbird on their effectiveness. These, ah, Ferurings should acclimate the party goers to spikes. Somebody else's turn to show off some developments. Oh, and Winter has been contained. She is being reconditioned right now."

 

Here is a proposed Dark Alley symbol.

Edited December 17, 2014 by 18th Shard

[Redbird he/him]

Ferurings, discovered by hemalurgists, made by hemalurgists, and unfortuanately, named by hemalurgists.

[18th Shard he/him]

Hey! I worked for almost 30 seconds on that name! Besides, at least I unveiled stuff. Show forth your horrors of zoohemalurgy and name them better than the Inquisiceratops!

[Voidus]

The DA symbol is hereby accepted.

[mail-mi he/him]

Mail-mi stepped up after Xanas stepped down from the slightly raised stage. "Unfortunately," he said, "those of us who have no access to Feruchemical abilities will be unable to use our patent-pending Ferurings. But fear not!" Mail-mi whipped out a bowl, filled to the brim with metal earrings that looked just like the Ferurings. "With one of these in one ear, and a Feruring in the other, you'll be able to pass the boundaries of your birth and become a Feruchemist of whatever metal you desire!" He held up an earring. "Would anybody like to try?"

[ostrichofevil he/him]

How do I join the Dark Alley?

[Quiver he/him]

No, Ostrich! Resist the allure of hemalurgic cookies!

...though speaking of, I need to borrow a few spikes. For science purposes.

Edited December 28, 2014 by Quiver

[Fatebreaker he/him]

How do I join the Dark Alley?

 

it's easy! Anyone interested in and dedicated to the Science of Hemalurgy Art of Baking may join. However, you must either make sales in the Introduction topic or start theories in various forums or contribute to pre-existing discussions on Hemalurgy throughout the 17th. What division are you interested in joining? There's sales, r&d, advertising, transportation, theoretics, or other. 

Just joking, there is no other division. It doesn't exist, just like Alley 7 doesn't exist.

So to summarize, you will be accepted when you have made a few sales, then feel free to join whichever division you're interested in.

 

 

..though speaking of, I need to borrow a few spikes. For science purposes.

 

We don't lend baking supplies, we trade or sell. A batch of, utensils will require in trade a car battery charged with the light of a dying star. 

Or a mountain of pineapples. Either one. 

Edited December 28, 2014 by Fatebreaker

[Quiver he/him]

How about a menagerie of oranges? Twilight Sparkle got pretty good with that spell after all.

And a couple orangefrogs are totally worth hemalurgic alicorn's mwahahaha.

[Fatebreaker he/him]

Only if they're,

 

Blood Oranges. 

 

Which are actually quite tasty.

[Quiver he/him]

Done and done.

 

Now, give me those spike cookies.

 

[traceria she/her]

No, Ostrich! Resist the allure of hemalurgic cookies!

...though speaking of, I need to borrow a few spikes. For science purposes.

 

Portal (& Portal 2) must be quoted:

• Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much? In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired! No, not you, test subject, you're fine. Yes, you! Box your stuff, out the front door, parking lot, car, goodbye! -- Cave Johnson
• Welcome to the Enrichment Center. [cough] Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not. [cough] As a result, you may have heard we're gonna phase out human testing. There's still a few things left to wrap up, though. [cough] The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed em into a gel. And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill. Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can you somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. [cough] Let's all stay positive and do some science. That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills.  -- Cave Johnson
• Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster. -- GLaDOS

 

"But there's no sense crying over every mistake You just keep on trying till you run out of cake cookies And the Science gets done and you make a neat gun steel inquisitor For the people who are still alive."   Alright, we might need to work on those song lyrics some more...