Voidbringer Posted March 9, 2012 Report Share Posted March 9, 2012 What do you get when you cross an elephant with Darth Vader? An Ele-vader! What do you get when you cross and elephant with a rhino? 'ell if I know! My personal favorite (It's kinda long): A long time ago in near the town of Trid there was tall hill on which sat a vast treasure. The treasure was guarded by an ogre. The people of Trid, the Trids, would climb everyday to try and steal the treasure, but the ogre would catch them and kick them down the hill. One day a Rabbi came to town and learned of the treasure, and of the misfortune of the Trids who tried to steal it. Regardless, he decided to give it try and go after the treasure. He reached the top of the hill and found the ogre. The ogre had clearly seen him, but it just sat and watched him. He made his way closer and still the ogre did nothing. After a while, the Rabbi got curious and spoke up, "Ogre! Why aren't you trying to kick me off the hill?". Smiling and shaking his massive head, the ogre replied, "Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Trids!". Ahhh Snap! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeatherWriter Posted March 12, 2012 Report Share Posted March 12, 2012 If you run in front of a car, you'll get tired, but if you run behind a car you'll get exhausted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swifftalon Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Here's another long-ish on for you. A theif, citing canine rights as his motivation, had a head-on collision with a police car during an attempt to escape after robbing a local curio shop. So, in essence, it was a knickknack paddy whack who gave a dog a bone. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstRainbowRose Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 That reminds me of one I saw once: A midget psychic escaped from a local prison. Headlines read "Small Medium at Large". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhalagirl Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 The VIP banquet at Superstars is going to be at a Brazilian steak house. That makes this event the ultimate Meat and greet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuri Shardweaver Posted March 23, 2012 Report Share Posted March 23, 2012 Brazilian, you say? Perhaps we can wax philosophic on the mysteries of the universe. Or at the very least butcher some movie quotes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhalagirl Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 Why not? The meal shouldn't be the only thing butchered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe ST Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 Brazilian, you say? Perhaps we can wax philosophic on the mysteries of the universe. Or at the very least butcher some movie quotes. Wax, you say? *goes and reads Alloy of Law again* 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shivertongue Posted March 24, 2012 Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhalagirl Posted March 25, 2012 Report Share Posted March 25, 2012 Yes, we should be... but we aren't. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought Posted March 29, 2012 Report Share Posted March 29, 2012 What do you call someone who really likes the Mistborn series? A Brandon Sanders-fan. What about someone who is always carrying around Ender's game? An Orson Scott Cardigan. What do you call it when someone is really into Lord of the Rings? You say that they are very J.R.R. Tol-keen about it! I just recently read Ringworld. I guess you could call me a Larry Newban. If you reread the Wheel of Time series, does that make your a Robert Jordagain? What do children call small kids who are fans of the Inheritance Cycle? Christopher Paoweenies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcanist Lupus Posted March 29, 2012 Report Share Posted March 29, 2012 Hobbits are Tolkien Minorities. (I can't take credit for the pun, though. I have to give credit to Mental Floss) I'll stop now. I don't want to make a hobbit of LotR jokes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kuri Shardweaver Posted March 30, 2012 Report Share Posted March 30, 2012 What do you call four mexicans in quicksand? Quatro Sink-o. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcanist Lupus Posted March 30, 2012 Report Share Posted March 30, 2012 What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? Mat. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob. What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FeatherWriter Posted March 30, 2012 Report Share Posted March 30, 2012 A man with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? Russel A man with no arms or legs in a hole? Phil Aaaaaaaaaaand, that's all I got. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcanist Lupus Posted March 31, 2012 Report Share Posted March 31, 2012 What type of camels make good actors? Drama-daries. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Spoonface Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 What do you call when a bunch of two humped (non-Dromedary) camels decide to make laws? A Bicamel legislature. Why are non-Dromedary camels not allowed in hospitals? They're covered in Bactaria. What do you call a blood covered small mammal in World War I? The Red Badger of Courage. What do you call it when a bunch of pigs get dumped on an island? Lord of the Sties. What do you call it when an athlete gets falsely accused of rape? To Kill a Jockingbird What do you call it when a sheep falls in love with a human? Rameo and Juliet What game do little kids play in Canada? Duck, Duck, Moose What game does the Cat in the Hat play with kids? Duck, Duck, Seuss What game do little kids play in Skyrim? Duck, Duck, Fus! That's all I've got for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lyssie95 Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 (edited) What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come! Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it! What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? I-lean. What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg shorter than the other? Irene. *ducks tomatoes* Edited April 3, 2012 by lyssie95 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought Posted April 3, 2012 Report Share Posted April 3, 2012 So, there was a creepo who got hired at Target because they heard he was a good at stalking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Commander Spoonface Posted April 4, 2012 Report Share Posted April 4, 2012 Did you hear about the book about crazy glue? You can't put it down. When I'm tired I just get out my phone and download a nap. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feloxia Posted April 5, 2012 Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 "Don't go bacon my heart." "I couldn't if I fried." From here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thought Posted April 20, 2012 Report Share Posted April 20, 2012 The first rule of write club is that you do not talk about write club. The second rule of write club is that you do not talk about write club. Writes will go on as long as they have to. Ifthis is your first night at write club, you have to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firstRainbowRose Posted April 21, 2012 Report Share Posted April 21, 2012 I stole this one from another site: A newly-wed couple sit down on a train. Soon after, a large Russian man sits across from them, and introduces himself to the two as Rudolph. As the train starts to move, the wife looks out the window and sees that it's started to... something. "Darling, do you think that that's sleet or rain?" Asked the wife to her husband. "I'm not sure, sweety, but it looks like rain to me." replied the husband. "Is rain," said the Russian, with authority. "I think it's rain, sweetums," agreed the husband. "I don't know, it really looks like sleet to me. Ooh! Maybe it's hail! Wouldn't hail be exciting, honey?" said the wife. "No. Is rain," said the Russian, again with even more confidence in his opinion. The wife is about to protest, but the husband cuts her off. "Don't you think Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear?" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glaring at the Survivor Posted October 4, 2012 Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 "Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Not Susie." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterAhlstrom Posted October 4, 2012 Report Share Posted October 4, 2012 Okay, where are the screenshots of Brandon's titles on that YouTube thing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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