Claincy he/him Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 If you just say to a stranger "sorry, I don't hug people," they'll know its not personal. I've know people like that so I've been on the other end, and it's "ok, they don't like being touched, I'll hug other people and just smile and wave at them". Do you accept Internet hugs? Internet hugs are fine I can try to do that, the biggest issue is that if I even suspect that they might not understand/might be hurt by it I'll feel far worse about it than the situation warrants. :/ still, can try. After a few instants of yelling things like "Get thee behind me, Satan!" and punching someone in the face, people get the picture Mileage may vary Of course, why didn't I see that solution. @Twi, I know exactly what you mean about missing social cues and misinterpreting body language etc, I struggle in the same way. What I have found though is that most of the time it doesn't prevent friendships from forming, I suspect that you (and I) get the social cues correct more often than we think we do and most people actually don't care most of the time when we mess up. Beyond that most people, or at least the people worth spending time with, will generally assume you didn't mean to be insulting or hurtful even if they do happen to find what you said or did to be insulting or hurtful. I'm guessing from what you said that you (like me) tend to obsess a bit over mistakes that you made in conversations and how they could have been taken badly and keep wondering if they hold it against you, when the vast majority of the time they don't remember and wouldn't care if they did. All this probably means is that you care a lot, and that's not a bad feature by any stretch of the imagination. I apologise if I'm misinterpreting Basically, go for it and don't let fear of failing prevent you from trying. I wouldn't say it'll be easy, but it's worth the effort 2
Kaymyth she/her Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Thanks, everyone. I do feel better now. Once I'm out on my own, I'll try taking a few more chances and see how that goes. I think being out is going to affect you in ways you can't even imagine right now. A) You're an introvert in a family of extraverts. They are sucking up all of your social spoons. Once you don't have that day-in, day-out grind of constant energy-sucking, you're going to find yourself wanting to spend time with people more. I think your family's crazy passive-aggressive tendencies have scrambled your ability to read social cues. They like to say one thing and mean something totally different, which is enough to crosswire anybody's people-reading skills. You'll get better. It'll just take practice. 7
Silverblade5 he/him Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 6 days ago, Epic Games Forums were hacked. Epic Games. The host of the Infinity Blade forums. The forums that I'll have been a very active member for three years in three months. The forums that I'd thought were the best thing before 17th shard, and still come pretty close. I think I'm going to buy a few tubs of ice cream and cry to my throw pillow now.
Kobold King he/him Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 6 days ago, Epic Games Forums were hacked. Epic Games. The host of the Infinity Blade forums. The forums that I'll have been a very active member for three years in three months. The forums that I'd thought were the best thing before 17th shard, and still come pretty close. I think I'm going to buy a few tubs of ice cream and cry to my throw pillow now. Permanently hacked, or just temporarily taken down?
Silverblade5 he/him Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Permanently hacked, or just temporarily taken down? No idea, it currently has the maintenance message up right now, so I'm assuming that they're trying to fix it. What really makes this hurt is that that's where I met the first of my friends that I've actually managed to keep for more than a year. I was one of the top posters there. Having that place taken away was like having my computer taken away, or like when Tirek blew up Twilight's library. The only thing that really does anything to soften this is that the place was pretty much dying anyways. 2
Guest Posted July 20, 2015 Posted July 20, 2015 Well, my mom just apologized….for misunderstanding. Not for acting the way she did—she made sure to explain that she really was upset because she really did think I was trying to make a statement. Dear Mom: "I'm sorry, but" is not an apology. If I did that to you, I would never hear the end of it. I would still be hearing about what an awful person I was for not giving you a real apology, if you happened to need something to throw in my face. Kind of depressing thing below the spoiler…. Seriously, you can turn back now. I'm going to leave as soon as I have the chance. If I get the job I'm interviewing for on Thursday, I'm going to move out as soon as I can, and apply for jobs in places other than Spokane once I have some more experience. If I do apply for a job in Spokane, it'll be three to five years down the road. And I'm just overwhelmed by this feeling that once I cut ties geographically, I'm going to be completely alone. I've had trouble making friends in the past. Not on here—it's easier for me to communicate when I'm writing something down. But in person, I always worry that I'm sending the wrong signals with body language and whatnot, and that I respond wrong to every single social cue. I've had people act like they wanted to be my friends, but I've never pursued the friendship any further because I was either afraid of what my parents would say or because I was afraid I'd screw things up. So now I'm sitting here, and I'm thinking that once they all move away, I'm going to spend my days alone. Holidays alone. Birthdays alone. I've rebuffed everyone who ever wanted to be my friend, and now they've told their friends and I've blacklisted myself. And even if I haven't, I will eventually. I just keep feeling like it's just a matter of time. I think it is quite possible your relationship with your family members will improve once you leave the household to start your own. It is customary of many parents to refuse to acknowledge their grown-up children until they actually move out.
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 (edited) My mom, a month ago: "You need a pug, when you move out. I want to get you a pug as a moving-out present. One way or another, I'm going to get you a pug, because you need a pug." My mom, this morning: "I found a pug breeder online that looks good. Oh, but your dad and I can't afford to buy you a pug right now. But I'll show you the website so you can check it out." I was expecting something like this, though, so I've been setting aside money for a pug fund. I don't know....I wasn't expecting them to fork over money for everything I'll need when I move out, but she'd talked about it like it was something she and my dad were actively planning. I'd feel like she'd yanked the rug out from under me if she hadn't done things like this before. I'll just keep setting money aside for a pug, then. Edited July 21, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles 5
Voidus Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 (edited) My mom, a month ago: "You need a pug, when you move out. I want to get you a pug as a moving-out present. One way or another, I'm going to get you a pug, because you need a pug." My mom, this morning: "I found a pug breeder online that looks good. Oh, but your dad and I can't afford to buy you a pug right now. But I'll show you the website so you can check it out." I was expecting something like this, though, so I've been setting aside money for a pug fund. I don't know....I wasn't expecting them to fork over money for everything I'll need when I move out, but she'd talked about it like it was something she and my dad were actively planning. I'd feel like she'd yanked the rug out from under me if she hadn't done things like this before. I'll just keep setting money aside for a pug, then. Start a 'Buy Twi a Pug' fund on one of those crowdsourcing websites? If I had any money I'd love to donate. Highest contributor gets to name it? Edited July 22, 2015 by Voidus 3
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Start a 'Buy Twi a Pug' fund on one of those crowdsourcing websites? If I had any money I'd love to donate. Highest contributor gets to name it? I would love to help. You guys are awesome. (What would you name it, out of curiosity?)
Voidus Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 You guys are awesome. (What would you name it, out of curiosity?) Planning. That way when you post pug pictures on the Questions thread we can say we're talking about planning 3
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 Planning. That way when you post pug pictures on the Questions thread we can say we're talking about planning I like it. Except the whole scheme might be foiled if at any point I started calling him Mr. Plannykins. 1
Edgedancer he/him Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I'm all for the pug fund. This may be a moment to reference the Daypug. I like it. Except the whole scheme might be foiled if at any point I started calling him Mr. Plannykins. ...Somehow I find that name weirdly adorable. 2
Voidus Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 I like it. Except the whole scheme might be foiled if at any point I started calling him Mr. Plannykins. I'm all for the pug fund. This may be a moment to reference the Daypug. ...Somehow I find that name weirdly adorable. Then the motion is carried and now law. 1
Kaymyth she/her Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 My mom, a month ago: "You need a pug, when you move out. I want to get you a pug as a moving-out present. One way or another, I'm going to get you a pug, because you need a pug." My mom, this morning: "I found a pug breeder online that looks good. Oh, but your dad and I can't afford to buy you a pug right now. But I'll show you the website so you can check it out." I was expecting something like this, though, so I've been setting aside money for a pug fund. I don't know....I wasn't expecting them to fork over money for everything I'll need when I move out, but she'd talked about it like it was something she and my dad were actively planning. I'd feel like she'd yanked the rug out from under me if she hadn't done things like this before. I'll just keep setting money aside for a pug, then. There is also always the option of adopting a rescue; you'd be surprised how many purebred dogs wind up in shelters. A lot of popular breeds also have dedicated breed rescues who foster and re-home dogs. 2
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 There is also always the option of adopting a rescue; you'd be surprised how many purebred dogs wind up in shelters. A lot of popular breeds also have dedicated breed rescues who foster and re-home dogs. That's a good idea. I'll check out some pug rescues and shelters in my area. (Seriously, I have a site open in another tab now. ) 1
Voidus Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 There is also always the option of adopting a rescue; you'd be surprised how many purebred dogs wind up in shelters. A lot of popular breeds also have dedicated breed rescues who foster and re-home dogs. Although do be sure to check their temperament carefully before adopting, even the best shelters in the world have a few dogs who've just been mistreated too much to respond well to human companionship
Kestrel she/her Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 this is really trivial but i'm annoyed that the last season of parks and rec has been below expectations hugely. it doesn't feel like parks anymore. ewie.
Briar King Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 My poor hair. Not only does it seem to be thinning but now I've got 1/4 salt to the 3/4 pepper. My hair used to be so luscious for a male.
little wilson she/her Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 I hate car troubles. Especially when they happen when you're going to work and your car dies on the freeway and you think that it might be the gas even though the gas light wasn't on, so when you risk your life walking along the freeway to get to the gas station and bring back a gas can full of gas and put it in your car (and in the process end up spilling little drops on your hands, arms, and clothes so now you smell like gas because the can didn't have a funnel ) expecting that it will magically fix the problem and it doesn't..... On the plus side, the engine turns over so it's not a major issue. But I've no idea what it is, and now I'm really hot and tired and sad because I just fixed a tensioner problem in my car last week and now I have to spend more money to fix whatever's wrong again. And I don't have a car. Can I just not work today? Can I just take back the last 2 hours and sleep through the morning? No? 5
Guest Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 My poor hair. Not only does it seem to be thinning but now I've got 1/4 salt to the 3/4 pepper. My hair used to be so luscious for a male. As well... Life Luckily we, women get to dye our hair.
Guest Posted July 23, 2015 Posted July 23, 2015 Dang, that smallpox article was intense. Storm you, Kobold!
Briar King Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 As well... Life Luckily we, women get to dye our hair. Har I used to bleach blonde my hair back in the late 90's early 00's when that was the fad. I had my tips yellow in my wedding pics...
Briar King Posted July 24, 2015 Posted July 24, 2015 Oh no... Theater shooting in Lafayette LA(the next town over from mine) 3 dead including shooter and 7 others shot. 1
TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her Posted July 25, 2015 Posted July 25, 2015 "Hi *smack* I'm here to *slurp, smack* pick up my car*sluuurrrp smack slurp* 15 minutes after close. I want *smack smack* you to *smack, slurp* go over *smack* all of this stuff with me and *smack smack* answer all *slurp* of my *smack smack slurp* questions." If you can't enjoy hard candy with your lips closed, please don't make me listen to the symphony. PLEASE I AM BEGGING YOU 4
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