The Relationship Advice Thread, by Dr. Calano

[jamesbondsmith He/him]

Can we still revive this thread?

Spoiler

 

Caught feelings for someone at work, then felt it wasn't mutual, then recently found out that the reason it didn't feel mutual is because they're seeing someone else (it's been an emotionally eventful few weeks).

I know the appropriate course of action is to let it go and move on etc. Just need help doing that I guess.

 

 

Edited April 27, 2023 by jamesbondsmith

[Quivil]

4 hours ago, jamesbondsmith said:

I know the appropriate course of action is to let it go and move on etc. Just need help doing that I guess.

I've found that distance and time are two ways to do this. 

I, personally, can sort of just gaslight myself into no longer liking someone, but that doesn't always work, and it probably doesn't work for everyone. This is probably not very helpful, sorry.

[Going_North_cal]

Oh boy there’s a lot to get to.

I am just a tad busy at a college fair right now.

I’ll give advice tonight in a couple hours.

[Quivil]

@CalanoCorvus are you alive?

Spoiler

I apparently stole a boy's heart

How do I not rip it out of his chest when I leave the state?

Edited May 6, 2023 by Tani

[Going_North_cal]

22 minutes ago, Tani said:

@CalanoCorvus are you alive?

  Reveal hidden contents

I apparently stole a boy's heart

How do I not rip it out of his chest when I leave the state?

Talk about it to him.

Do you reciprocate?

[Quivil]

14 minutes ago, CalanoCorvus said:

Talk about it to him.

Do you reciprocate?

Ummm I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I think the answer is "not to the same degree I think but kind of?"

Also I'm weird with connection to people

Edited May 6, 2023 by Tani

[Going_North_cal]

10 minutes ago, Tani said:

Ummm I'm not sure what you mean by that, but I think the answer is "not to the same degree I think but kind of?"

Also I'm weird with connection to people

It means do you also have feelings for him.

Hmm. I’d still suggest talking to him about it, it’d be good.

Being weird with people connections is valid!! Just take it slow, and it’ll all work out.

[Quivil]

We both already know we have FeELiNgS

The problem is that when I leave the state it's going to hurt him for maybe three months and me for maybe three days, because I'm different with connection, and I don't know how to make it not hurt him as much.

Edited May 6, 2023 by Tani

[Going_North_cal]

9 hours ago, Tani said:

We both already know we have FeELiNgS

The problem is that when I leave the state it's going to hurt him for maybe three months and me for maybe three days, because I'm different with connection, and I don't know how to make it not hurt him as much.

You talk to him. I know it’s so repetitive, because that’s what I always say in this thread.

But hey,

Its what works best. If you want it to hurt less, than come to an agreement to not let it get far enough that it will hurt.

[Edema Rue she/her]

Yoooo Calano what do you, hypothetically, do when you're friends hypothetically plan a party, talk about it in front of you, invite people in front of you, then hypothetically don't invite you because (hypothetically) "there are too many people already" and then everyone keeps hypothetically going on about how fun it hypothetically was for like a week?

[The Paradoxical Phenomenon he/him]

5 minutes ago, Edema Ruh said:

Yoooo Calano what do you, hypothetically, do when you're friends hypothetically plan a party, talk about it in front of you, invite people in front of you, then hypothetically don't invite you because (hypothetically) "there are too many people already" and then everyone keeps hypothetically going on about how fun it hypothetically was for like a week?

Hehehe pretend you’re throwing a party and don’t invite them

For real though, that’s a real jerk move. I wish I had any idea what to do 

Spoiler

Wait what

Spoiler

My name’s not calano?

Spoiler

Oh.

Spoiler

My bad 

 

 

 

 

[Edema Rue she/her]

2 hours ago, TheAlpha929 said:

Hehehe pretend you’re throwing a party and don’t invite them

...it's too late, I already have a good chunk of 3 separate grades coming to my end of year party , meaning all the peeps who were there and more.

[Immortal Platypus]

29 minutes ago, Edema Ruh said:

...it's too late, I already have a good chunk of 3 separate grades coming to my end of year party , meaning all the peeps who were there and more.

i feel personally attacked. I probably couldn't come, and I probably don't know a lot of your friends, but... I'm offended you never said anything to me (or invited me)  

Spoiler

 

 

[Going_North_cal]

if they don’t invite you then screw them and leave them behind: they’re not good friends.

you’ve got people coming to your party, you’ll have a blast.

don’t worry about it, and leave those douchebags behind.

[Immortal Platypus]

7 minutes ago, CalanoCorvus said:

if they don’t invite you then screw them and leave them behind: they’re not good friends.

you’ve got people coming to your party, you’ll have a blast.

don’t worry about it, and leave those douchebags behind.

Hear that Eddie? You're a douchebag! Calano said it, not me!

[Going_North_cal]

no eddie’s friends are the douchebags

eddie is a wonderful person

[Immortal Platypus]

13 minutes ago, CalanoCorvus said:

no eddie’s friends are the douchebags

eddie is a wonderful person

Quote

if they don’t invite you then screw them and leave them behind: they’re not good friends.

...

don’t worry about it, and leave those douchebags behind.

But... eddie didn't invite me to her party. so she's a douchebag. LOGIC!

Spoiler

 

[Going_North_cal]

don’t call eddie a douchebag

eddie is a good person

and you said yourself you wouldn’t be able to go >:]

Edited May 8, 2023 by CalanoCorvus

[Immortal Platypus]

1 hour ago, CalanoCorvus said:

don’t call eddie a douchebag

eddie is a good person

and you said yourself you wouldn’t be able to go >:]

You don't know Eddie IRL

(she actually isn't terrible (don't tell her I said that))

I said I probably couldn't go, but... I might be able to. My schedule is clearing up, so... I maybe could make it. probably also depends on who would be there. But either way, she didn't ask me so... still a douchebag.

[Going_North_cal]

stop calling our friend a douchebag

[Immortal Platypus]

2 minutes ago, CalanoCorvus said:

stop calling our friend a douchebag

she doesn't call me a friend so... I don't know if you can refer to her as our friend. perhaps mutual acquaintance, but probably not friend. Besides, she often calls me a cow or a fish, and my friend a turtle. Plus, SHE PLAYS THE VIOLIN!

[Edema Rue she/her]

3 hours ago, Being of Cacophony said:

i feel personally attacked. I probably couldn't come, and I probably don't know a lot of your friends, but... I'm offended you never said anything to me (or invited me)  

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Actually several people you know are coming. I just don't have your number so I haven't given it to you yet. 

2 hours ago, CalanoCorvus said:

if they don’t invite you then screw them and leave them behind: they’re not good friends.

you’ve got people coming to your party, you’ll have a blast.

don’t worry about it, and leave those douchebags behind.

Thanks Calano. You're an awesome human, y'know that?

[Going_North_cal]

7 hours ago, Edema Ruh said:

Actually several people you know are coming. I just don't have your number so I haven't given it to you yet. 

Thanks Calano. You're an awesome human, y'know that?

Yes

[Immortal Platypus]

22 hours ago, Edema Ruh said:

Actually several people you know are coming. I just don't have your number so I haven't given it to you yet. 

Thanks Calano. You're an awesome human, y'know that?

were you planning on inviting me?

[Edema Rue she/her]

Just now, Being of Cacophony said:

were you planning on inviting me?

Yes.