Fatebreaker

That’s fair, I would do the same. See if you can locate the original, I spent good money on those speakers. Try looking round the resonance fields, that’s where it went last time. We’ll need it functional soon for something Voidus and I are working on.

Please ignore the maniacal laughter echoing through the Alleys, something delicious is cooking... @MacThorstenson, is our citywide broadcasting equipment still functional?

Welcome to the forums. Here have an upvote and a slice of pie.

Where is the updated List these days? @Voidus, I know you put it somewhere, but there was that period of time when all transcriptions had been corrupted while we were working on that deification project, and I stopped paying attention to anything transcribed. Edit: Nevermind, found the corresponding coppermind and located both the original and current iterations. Forgot that I was the originator of the list. How time gives the illusion of flight.

PR is an important aspect of any organization. This was well done, we should follow it up with a press conference. Does anyone have an update on those Hypnosquids?

Ah, got it. Haven’t posted a theory in years, so I was a little fuzzy on the specifics. Thanks! It’s now so much about willing as it is available. This is an issue the Inquisition handled already. Participants are encouraged to comply, but not required. It just takes a little more work, not really a huge setback.

Ah, yes. I was pretty sure that was possible with Progression, but I wasn’t sure and didn’t have the books with me presently. That would be vastly preferable for running an efficient operation.

Spoilers for SA and Mistborn series.

and can cause no end of headaches. Wait, what was I saying? Oh yes, Further words of warning on Sense and Spikeablility: Whenever you have a test subject you are harvesting for a piece of their Spirit Web, remember to grant them some for of healing via hemalurgy. This ensures higher durability for all test subjects, and improves the chances of harvesting multiple times from a single subject. Waste not want not. If you do not understand the MLP fandom, or even dislike it, do not say anything about it. There are too many of them, trust me. Always remember that even Eldritch Abominations had to start somewhere. Don’t let your lack of pseudopods get you down! Similarly, if it exists on any plane, it can be Spiked. However, I highly recommend not trying to Spike pseudotemporal subjects. It can lead to temporal misalignment, which wreaks havoc with your schedule and can cause no end of headaches. Wait, what was I saying?

In light of the influx of new members and the promotion to subforum I thought it pertinent to share some insights and advice for all new and future Denizens. Firstly, nothing I say matters, never take anyone seriously because they might not be real. Not even me, especially me. The null hypothesis of my non-corporeality has yet to be rejected. Secondly, remember that imitation is the greatest form of flattery. All of the other guilds that have and will rise up to oppose, subvert, or otherwise defeat us are actually just fans of our work, subconsciously or otherwise. Don’t be too harsh on them, as they live as the mayfly, with a lot of energy for a short time. Thirdly, remember the age old adage: Snacks sells.

Well, I've been in the lab a while. I come back and we've been promoted to Subforum! @Voidus, I knew we'd go far, but I'd thought this wouldn't happen for another hundred cycles at least. I'm proud of all of you wonderful Denizens who have made the Alley what it is today. We've endured wave upon wave of copycat guilds who sought to mimic, subvert, and undermine us. But we've held firm to the lights of Science and Baking, as we shall for time increments to come. Here's to the Future, the illusion of Time, and to Baked Goods that know no equal. TO SCIENCE!!!

Thanks mate, you've been an admirable colleague and invaluable research partner. May our discoveries never cease! From the penultimate senior Denizen to the Ultimately Senior Denizen, I salute you.

Well Denizens, this may be a bit different from my usual research, but i would like to announce that I am about to undertake a long term study on the effects of matrimony on the scientific mind. It's an ambitious undertaking, but I'm confident my research partner and I are up to the task. I plan to continues this study beyond the collapse of the multiverse, so I'll have to juggle my other research projects along sided it, but I'm sure the results will be worthwhile. Here's to Science and the most admirable Alleymates a Denizen could produce from illicitly procured genetic samples! Cheers lads

Has no one discussed the possibililty of ha'pennies?

You're in the wrong thread then, bud. Also, remember fellows that TUBA will rise and fall like the passing of teeth, while we remain steadfast in our journey towards the light of Science. Stop stressing, forgo fretting, and resume your research with the confidence of inevitability.

Ooh, that might work. I'm also looking into the ramifications if the donor is a Ferring Connector. Also, there appears to be an inverse bell curve in spikeability flavor extraction in relation to how much an individual enjoys their job. It is low near the middle where they are mostly ambivalent or neutral in their feelings, while careers that are either hated or loved show a statistically significant increase in transfer to the recipient of the baked good. As always, further testing is required Also... The Alley does not officially endorse anything other than Science and baked goods. We are happy to initiate commerce, dialogue and amiable interactions of that sort. We find other clans, guilds, and what have you, tend to be transient and fleeting, while the Alley remains. Good luck with your new group though! Hope it's cephalopo-pular!

Hey, I resemble that remark! Actually, I currently resemble some kind of weird Pirate-Gargoyle-Amphibian amalgamation, due to a mishap with a new research assistant and some Essence Spikes. We'd recently discovered that in certain cases one's career and or habits becomes a part of their cognitive and spiritual identities, and thus can be Spiked turned into a new cookie flavor. On a totally unrelated note, I need about 10 new research assistants. And if anyone knows an alloy that might be useful for storing faith, let me know. So far titanium has shown only limited success. Wait, what were we talking about again?

The good news is that we snip a small piece of soul off of everyone who enters the Alley, via our Spectral Barbers, so we can use that if need be to ensure no nonsense of the unapproved kinds ensue.

Well well well, everyone seems to be having a lovely time! So much "baking", so many new recipes. The Alley has certainly come a long way. However, I would like to remind everyone that our goal is not selling cookies, but SCIENCE itself. To broaden our minds, and the minds of others, however much they might scream and bleed at first. To shine the beam of darkness into the well lit pathways of ignorance. To share the Joy of Baking with those who can't even comprehend the implications of a perfectly "baked" "cookie". To follow in the great footsteps of Rashek and Kelsier, of Marsh and Spook. To become pioneers in our own right. To wade through fire and blood flour and eggs in our pursuit of knowledge. Also, to make the weirdest things in nonexistence because we can. That is what we are. That is the Dark Alley. So have fun! Take chances, make mistakes, get... MESSY. It's a grand time researching with such bright minds, thanks for perpetuating the insanity!

This is pretty neat @Cognizantastic! And don't worry about the HIghschoolness of it. I've worked with graduating college seniors who had a poorer grasp of composition and presentation. I thinks you did a great job.

We also accept appropriately preserved spirit fragments, firstborns, and Eyes. Especially Eyes.

Yes, we were actually testing whether their tendencies towards colonization lead to militarized conglomorations or individualized territorially focused pseudosocieties. However, our research primarily shows that intelligence spikes have simply lead to a proclivity for puns. While in the field I heard a plethora of puns, such as: "My mother is getting older, I think she may be hard of herring." and "My cousin was a travelling salesman, but he wasn't very good. He could never seal the deal." and "Teeth." So far I have classified this as a rousing success. Further testing currently underway.

It's been a pleasure t' say the least. I've enjoyed this collaborative narrative process, learning to work with other writers in a manner I've never been able to replicate away from the Shard. If anyone ever needs another villain or comic relief character for something, let me know. They seem to be my specialty. See ya around lads and lasses, it's been a blast!

I thought I heard a commotion outside my lab, and it appears to be new Denizens joining the Alley! What a glorious occurrence! Science smiles on us this day. Persistence, denial, and discrediting detractors. Remember this simple rule and you'll be set. After the Purple one we found the taupe one, which was not somewhere we wanted to set up anything more than an outpost. Then there was the dimension of inverse sound, then the Left dimension, where everything was the left version of things. Everyone was left handed, had two left feet, and so on and so forth. It was looking promising until one of the acolytes that was with me pointed out that 3 lefts make a right, and then the entire dimension collapsed, destroying itself and everything in it, including the acolyte. Rookie mistake. Personally I recommend a mirror dimension, such as the the one where everything is the same except that all animals are variants of penguins.