Quiver

Well, thanks for asking anyway (up vote). This sounds like it was pretty interesting, and I am looking forward to seeing what you guys managed to produce with him.

I'm not able to make it to the live stream, so knowing it is going to be recorded is a major bonus. And since I won't get there, if someone gets the chance, would you mind asking him this question for me: "One thing I hate about fantasy is the conformity of tone; like the farm boy rising to prominence, it makes for a kind of bland story. That's one of the reasons I like Warbreaker so much. The different POVs sound distinct from each other and have different tones, but there's an overall cohesiveness to them. Similarly, Mistborns concept of the dark lord winning works because the text is infused with such a sense of resignation rather than oppression, resistance or depression (at least at the start). Do you intend for your books to stand out in that way, and do you have any advice for creating an atmosphere beyond 'generic fantasy'? If anyone gets a chance to ask, I'd be grateful. If not, well, I understand; I'm sure everyone has their own questions they want to ask him. Enjoy the live stream, and I hope someone remembers to pass the link on to me.

You know, I've always had a joke about that scene, that when Cap is talking about "one man standing over everyone else", he's talking to Loki and the old German man, and he intended on fighting the German after he beat Loki. Now I find the idea that all the German's had no idea what he was talking about funnier. EDIT Ninja'd! I knew you were a FeatherSurgebinder! Anyway. I'll get back to you in a bit with Scrounger thoughts. No, probably not ones involving Seiko and Miranda bleeding to death in the fifth floor of a building. Don't be silly. Okay, scene one, and... Honestly, I don't have much to say, since it's mostly re establishing stuff from before. I thought Miranda's body horror was known to everyone, but this part reminded me that it's only Katie and Seiko, so I'm curious to see if Eleanor catches on. The only thing that threw me was, I didn't see where El tied Lucy up. Maybe I accidentally skipped it, but when Seiko mentioned her knots, AI found myself looking over the scene again to see what I missed. Sensible, of course, but I was surprised. Oh, and extra edit, I did like how Miranda is still suffering the indoctrination effect, and how it's impacting her judgement with Deena, but I think my magic system shows I'm a sucker for that sort of thing. Scene two is a nice quick action, especially since I'd sort of forgotten about Katie; that opening made me think that the combat actions were over. Eleanor is enjoying this a lot. She's coming across as actually being quite creepy. I almost feel sorry for Lucy here. When you outline the situation like that, with Sylvie turning and her stuck in a car, it really does look pretty bad for her. Scene four is some neat teamwork. I know you pointed out that they were keeping up the accents, but that just makes me a little bit more concerned about the fact that Miranda dropped hers and addressed Seiko by name. The last time someone did that, it didn't work well for your team. And wow, Sylvies plan is not going smoothly. I have to admit, I was expecting more of a religious fanatic, so how her interrogator (and Lucy and Craig for that matter) are coming across is a bit surprising. It also makes the Assembly a lot more realistic, and scarier. After this scene, I'm starting to think infiltrating a cult might actually be a bad idea. There's some interesting set up with Deena, though and Sylvie's plan to brainwash fiVe? Wow. That's unexpectedly dark. I kinda hope it ends up happening. And once again, Sylvie's obsession with computers gets the better of her. Given her enthusiasm for the set-up at first, I'm kind of glad that she ends the scene miserably alone. It seems like karma getting back at her for abandoning the team. And I'm only a little surprised at how quickly she overlooked what Karl said, about bringing in the first subjects, since that is quite a creepy sentiment. Huh. Karl is... surprisingly reasonable. I mean, at least Sister Amatje has the decency to be kinda obsessive about the faith. Karl really does take away a bit of the mystique from it, which I think even Sylvie realises. It's not like she's going to convert, but he makes her not want to offend and be curious about their theology. A reasonable person is at least as dangerous as a maniac. So, sorry for not having much to add. Apart from Sylvies section, this feels a lot like moving on from where we were, so I'm not sure what to say. As I've said, I'm sure I'll have more to say as Lucy gets interrogated and the Assembly's plans become clearer, but right now, it's more set up for that stuff I think. There's moments to pique curiosity, like the drift scene, but I don't have much to say beyond being curious as to where their going.

First, I'm calling the title for this as evidence of my influence. Titling drafts as mark x seems to be a growing thing now. Second, I'm just gonna say some stuff in response to your last comment in your other thread (since it's probably more relevant to keep it in the most up to date version). As you could probably tell, I really like the idea of universal magic, so I'm very interested to see how this world works beyond this short piece. I also find the heart stone a pretty interesting idea. I know mythical creatures get associated with that sort of thing (like a bezoar) so having it be a typical part of human anatomy is interesting. I was going to ask what might happen if the hearthstone was removed, or transplanted, but I'm not sure if this society is at a point where that would be possible. So, commenting on this as a piece of writing, it's better. Since your last piece was titled as the fight, I half-ignored Tarbe, but in this, I like that he is much more involved. It makes it clearer that it's all from his POV. You mentioned having to age him up in the last piece, which I didn't feel. He sounds a little younger than ninety here to me,which I think works well. Even before you go into the whole hearthstone thing, it adds a little bit of alien ness to the world. The small details, like what the charges are called and how Tarbe knows their name, adds to the authenticity of it.

My pitch, such as it was, is that Printing isn't something that could be stopped; whatever you do, something is gonna rub off on you. Kayla's reaction was maybe a little over the top to show that, but it wasn't meant as a sort of compulsion, it was more everything flashed in her head in a second; basically hyper empathy. I tweaked it a little bit so that in the second part she expressed some of the emotion, like a really temporary personality influence, mostly to see which way I preferred. Different people have different chi romantic strength; Kayla is just unlucky in that she's kind of bad at it. It's why taking off her helmet was such a big deal. Their covered head to toe for a reason, and she didn't want to be exposed. That... is brilliant, and I never thought of it. Granted, I haven't worked out the logistics of hyper empathy warfare, but that is a point I never considered .Circle Another thing I didn't think of; the closest I got was some ideas of how religious ceremonies work. My immediate reaction is just that it would loop around, and around, and around, which almost sounds like an easy way to get a legal high- get people with positive emotions lined up until their grinning like crazy. I haven't thought of that, so I can't give a real answer, but that's what my immediate answer would be. Sedation Spoilers. Torture I didn't consider the torture application, but basically, yeah. A scene I had in mind for the next chapter (which was this chapter until Arlan showed up, it was a whole thing) involved Kayla getting into her bunk. She made it after she got up, so her Prints were all over it, so it was a moment of positive feedback, with her basically channelling herself back at Sex You know, I have two stories lined up as romances, so I probably should address this, though I'm a little wary given the ratings on the forum. My short, cop out explanation, for a couple who genuinely love each other, or at least are in it for the hedonistic high? It feels good It can also be pretty much the worst thing ever, in the most mind twisted way. I'm reluctant to go into details, again, since I'm worried about forum content violations and because what I have in mind is more of impressions or a hypothetical 'imagine if you were there' type thing, which I don't want to discuss on the open forum for obvious reasons. Madness That was another scenario I pictured; a chiromantic asylum. I'd have to do research into mental disorders, since what someone is affected by would effect how it impacts others, but for a straight up, broken Joker mind? Ha. Ha. Ha. Of course, the immediate effect of that would be temporary, but part of chiromancy is tap hat you're still going to remember how that felt... so whether or not someone could handle having their brain broken and put back together again is... an iffy subject. And generally best not to find out. EDIT Well, that was odd. I couldn't post this the first few times I tried quoting you, so I had to remove them. The sections roughly line up, but I'll put topic headings on them anyway to make it clearer. Sorry about that.

This fight has a very Mistborn vibe to it to me, with the way the combatants are moving around and duelling while using the magic. In terms of prose, I really liked the opening lines; they gave a quick, easy way into Tarbe's head. I admit, I got a little confused towards the end juggling which was Tall, which was Bird, who was Fast and who was Derek, and what their respective charges were. I am very curious to see what other variations of charge you come up with though; from your description, it sounds like three quarters of them are combat oriented. Is there a system for determining who gets what Charge or what colour it is, or is it a random case of genetics, misting-style? I'm really intrigued by a world where magic is this common, judging from your statements, so I'm curious about how it all interacts in the wider context of the world. EDIT Oh, and a personal preference and probably not important. Obviously, that's how you space a paragraph in a novel. It's silly, but since I didn't give much valuable insight, I figured I'd say that for some reason that sort of formatting on a web page is hard to read for me.

I have no idea what to say about that. Seriously, no idea. Well, okay, 'Harmony!' comes to mind, as well as some other blasphemous expletives. A bit of jealousy that you literally came up with a better story I could in your sleep. Some admiration/chuckles at just how much you committed to the dream world when you thought that it was real and still a game, since Eleanor dying was a GM-moderated death. A little fear/optimism that you're going to start having dreams about the Assembly and start preaching their word here, actually... So I guess I have some things to say about it. Oh, and minor Fangirl question. Is the All-Tounge something that's in the comics or did you make it up? Because it sounds like you could do some cool linguistics story about proto-languages with it.

I didn't intend that, but I hardly think authorial intent matters. Besides, your right. It's not meant to be connected to communism (I'm too politically obtuse for that), but I think the communist connection is kind of inherent in any of those sort of 'mindless drone living for the state' pitches, whether it's someone Stained, or some Assimilated. Besides, when I was scribbling that up, it did kind of occur to me to wonder 'Hey, locking the city, is that like the Iron Curtain? And then there being no class divide and proletariat and stuff' but I ignored it. The fact your bringing it up means maybe I should rethink that. Then again, despite my notes, I have a tendency to make stuff up on the fly, so hopefully whenever I start practicing the stained society, I'll come up with something better. You mention Stalin, but the leader I'm sort of vaguely picturing is more the sort of cult personality you find (or that's reported at least) in North Korea- a semi-religious, semi-political benevolent dictatorship. The point was I was going to go with what Edgedancer suggested and have them sincerely want it, because of utopian society/indoctrination, etc. I kind of pictured a scene where criticising whoever is responsible for this basically flips a switch in how one of their followers treats you; talking amicably one minute, ready to gut you the next. And, to save double-posting, thanks for the critique on my fiction.

There are only so many ideas in the world, and I can't count the number of times I've read something along the lines of 'it's how you do your version of it'. Even so, I'm sure I'm not the only one who hates to see a good idea go rotten, or a bad idea blow up beyond all reasonable expectations. It doesn't preclude you from enjoying other things with the same concept, but it always seems to hang over the pitch like a ghost. Twilight ruining vampires is the obvious one, but personally, I can't think of Enterprise without getting annoyed. Not that I don't like the show, or feel it ruined Star Trek, but every time I think about it I think about the Temporal Cold War. To me, that's a really fascinating idea for a novel, maybe even a whole series. James Bond style-thriller stories, political wrangling, sci-if, time travel, paranoia... it sounds fantastic. And then I remember how Enterprise used it, and I feel like a plagiarist for trying my own thing with it, and really disappointed in what it delivered with it. Does anyone else have similar pet peeves?

Well, that was grim. Sorry for my role in our downfall villagers. I can't help thinking that Meta trolled us slightly by giving one of the most useful roles to one of the most incompetent of players. I probably have Lurched myself so often, but I suppose that's how the game is played. Particular kudos to Aether. I didn't participate in the Heaven debates for reasons, but up until Kurk coinshot you, I didn't suspect you. Needless to say, I shall be somewhat sceptical over everything you say from now on. (Everything.) It was a fun game Meta, and I really enjoyed your write ups, but I think I'll skip the next game or two until I get a better feel of how it (and everyone involved in it) plays it. Thanks for the experience guys.

So, if Lady Feather is the Broken One, does that make us her Heralds or her Fools? Feather Radiants? Featherbringers? Which makes the magic Featherbinding or Feathercasting. That really is a versatile username you have, Lady Feather.

A casual look over Brandon's blog reveals that he rather likes the Wheel of Time. I've also seen some comments or interviews where he mentions other fantasy books(like Tigana), and he contributed to Dangerous Women and World Builders, so I'm guessing that he minimally approves of GRRM and Rothfusses works. That said, has he ever definitely discussed other fantasy series the way he has Jordan's? Has he said anything about things he likes, admires or downright hates in The Lord of the Rings, Malazan, A Song of Ice and Fire? Or has he ever discussed/evaluated other, less well known fantasy books? I'd be very interested to read Brandon's thoughts on the genre outside of his annotations, so I was wondering if anyone could point me towards comments or interviews he's made.

Such devilish laughter and disregard for the rules! Truly, the Broken One Reigns.Anyway, I finished Fangirl so I'll read Scroungers soon. Just wanted to give my thoughts on this first. What a shock; I liked it. Now, admittedly, I didn't like it as much as might have Ben expected, but that's just a matter of personal taste; with this sort of crack idea, I generally prefer them to be played more comedically, or more seriously. In either case, insanity is usually the motivation for characters and hilarity ensues. Saying that, what you've done is a piece a bit closer to the spirit of the actual marvel films, one that hits the middle ground between madness and comedy. It fit's in with the tone of the MCU better than my versions would have. I thought your interpretations of the film characters were well done. I singled out Tony because, as much as Loki might dominate the scenes, I think that that sort of pop culture character is much harder to write without straying into annoying. He comes across as being every bit as arrogant, flippant and funny as the RDJ interpretation does. Similarly, I think your Thor was very good, reflecting a lot more of Hemsworth version. Cap and Bruce were good as well. The only Avenger who maybe didn't quite feel right was Clint, but that's more due to his lack of characterisation in the films; I'm really used to the 'classic' Hawkeye, so the more serious version is odd to me (he's still badass in the film though). Loki is kind of the shining point in it, which is exactly how it should be. As much as the story focuses on Anna and the fan girls, my favourite scene is the epilogue, with him setting up the puzzle box of tesseracts. It took me a moment to remember who the Other was, mainly because I was expecting a Thanos cameo, but when I did, I thought that the lines about how he moved and spoke reflected that sort of wraith-like creature we saw in the film. On other notes, you were right; I was surprised at how straight you played the army of fan girls. I have no concept of military tactics (and have no idea of your background, period) but it was interesting to see them actually use what sounded like decent strategy. Given the ending, I have to admit I'd be kind of curious to see Anna, Lynn, Xandra and Yumi in their own Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D spin off fiction; make it happen. I've just started Scroungers, so here's the scene by scene recap: Scene oneworks as a nice quick refresher on where everyone is and what they're doing. I know I mentioned Sylvie joining the Assembly, but I can't recall if you openly said so in the session itself. Regardless, it still puts Eleanor and her directly in conflict now. The only other thing I have to comment on is that Miranda's brain really has been scrambled badly, and I'm curious to see how long this plays out for. Scene two makes me curious. Pretty much everyone is adamant that this is a bad idea. On that note, I like the subtle differences of their concerns; that Seiko's worry is only half-hearted, Eleanor is heartbreakingly betrayed and Miranda (having first hand experience of it) is concerned about the whole brainwashing thing. Infiltrating a group of tentacultists sounds fun, but I'm curious how much of the resistance to the idea was in-game and whether or not anyone of the people you were playing with thought it was a legitimately bad idea. Because while it might be fun to read/write/play cultists in a game, the whole situation is a bit off when you think about it in the real world. I like the short moment shown from Eleanor's POV. I've said before that I like how the way you use language changes when you talk about Drifting, and while it's not the same here, I still like how she refers to the cultists as Kaiju-worshipping sickos. I've mentioned before that I find it a little difficult to get to know El, but the more recent sessions, and even that brief moment on it's on, have really helped me with that. I also like the indignation she has when they start using their own guns against the police; while I don't think that's something she ever wanted, I get the feeling that the fact that it's the Assembly doing it makes the situation so much worse for her. Same point, the way scene four ends with her trying to be optimistic and useful and 'failing miserably'. These sessions are making me a lot more sympathetic for El; this has not been a good day for her. There's also some lines I found rather funny here, like Seiko being concerned about the homeowner, Martin's broken babbling, and Eleanor's description of the cultists arriving through the door. Scene five is action, and we've well established that's not my forte. I liked Katie's brief fight, but I particularly enjoyed the ending; Seiko saving a cops life and getting a cultist arrested is very gratifying. I like seeing good actions rewarded. The middle section with Lucy makes me wonder if her appearance was another lucky roll on the players behalf or an intended plot twist. I like how Miranda captures her even though I wonder why she risked pickpocket ing from her. She wasn't going to just ignore Lucy, so I was a little confused as to why she didn't save rifling through the pockets until after the interrogation when she was pinned, or following an 'accident'. It was a moment which didn't seem entirely natural to me. As for the last scene, I've already made it clear that I love any more information we can get on the cult, so it's not a surprise that I enjoyed it. Besides the Judges, Prophets and Blessings, though, I liked the mysteries that are being set up for the future, like who exactly Deena is and what the Assembly wants with Sylvie. I also liked the little touch of Miranda forming the blessing of Acid when she mentions the indoctrination. From how the session ends, I'm guessing the next one is going to involve less action and more character stuff and question-answering, so I'm curious and looking forward to it. I'm also looking forward to Zhu finding out what just happened because oh boy that's a train wreck I wanna see.

Congratulations on reaching 100 replies in your fan club! I'd have said it there, but I want to save posting there for my Fangirl critique. As for here... Don't be too harsh on Fruity. What fandom came resist the siren call of crack pairings? I wasn't sure I remembered the title correctly, which was why I didn't use it. Mind if I ask how that project is going? EDIT Actually, um... small problem. I was reading Fangirl through your tumblr and there seems to be something wrong with it. Part 13 just sort of... cuts off mid-sentance during Bruce's explanation of what might have happened. I don't know if this is just a fault with my computer, which is why I'm mentioning it, but, on the chance that it could be tumblr related, I thought you might want to know. Mini-review for it so far is that I like it. Stark in particular seems very close to RDJ's version.

First of all, I amn so glad people seem to consider the idea of Amaram as more than just the villain. He comes across that way in the early chapters before we meet him, but when we do see him, he comes across as more misguided than villainous. I don't have a scenario for who it will play out, but I have seen some interesting discussion about Amaram taking the Shardblade and Plate. It centred on the idea that Kaladin has the oath about Journey before Destination, whereas Amatam takes the weapons because he believes he can do more good. I think Amaram is going to be a warning of what happens when you put Destination first; he may be a good man, with good intentions and fighting the good fight, but he's doing it the wrong way.

Hallowed come the Judges. (Start a social group for the Assembly. You know you want to.) I doubt it, I'm not every inspiring, it was just a moment of mild curiosity. When you mention the novel though, are you talking about VanaLen, or is this a different project completely? Again, if you don't mind my asking, since it may be a little prying of me, and I think I've thoroughly hijacked this topic for the last page or two. (Er... sorry about that.)

I was afraid such a nerdy fandom school wasn't real. Oh well. There goes my excuse for a transgender afterlife. Great name for the school though. Anyway, I've finished the first seven chapters; since that's about the halfway point and chapter 8 opens with Stark, I might as well take the opportunity to give my thoughts so far and increase my post count. As I said, the malleable reality confused me a little. Yumi voices my attitude exactly; Loki is a great character, but he is kind of... evil. I'm not sure if I'd say your playing this concept completely straight, since Xandea and Lynn seem to be skating over the implications that him being real has; then again, Anna is more of a main character, and it's nice to see her rationalisation as to why helping Loki might be a good thing. As nerd shout outs; Lynn'screading the French copy of TFE, isn't she? And once I accept Xandras perspective as part of the story, I find her funny. I'm surprised to see such (relatively) dirty comedy coming from her, in a good way. It kinda plays into the obsessive fangirl cliche (watch the latest season of Sherlock for what I mean), and it's always kind of fun you see that sort of character. I also like how you've portrayed Loki so far. I don't know if you heard about the comic con thing with Hiddleston, or if that influenced you in any way, but I think This version of Loki is closer to the movie verse once than your secret Santa fiction was. In that story, Thor felt very Gemsworth, but I couldn't quite picture Hiddleston as Loki. I don't know if you read the comics (I haven't in years) but that elaborate game and the grandiose method of it's execution reminded me more of comic Loki. I find the movie incarnation much more sympathic, and I think that's the one that you've done really well here. Which is a good thing; if it was the more sinister interpretation, this fic could get very uncomfortable. Instead, so far, it's fun, and I'm enjoying it.

Shard of Bavadin

which was laced

As an easily influenced power mad despot with deep physcological and social issues individual who is willing to embrace the truth when it's staring him in the face, I want to thank the Lady Feather for her publication of the Sydney Scroungers so far. In particular, I wish to thank her for the divine revelation that is the Assembly of True Judgement. Lady Feather, shall you lead us in rapturous praise of our Most Holy Reptilords? (I'm creating a magic system which can easily form cults, and found the Assembly the most interesting part of your Sydney Scrounger pitch. Is this conversion really that surprising?) (And on a wholly unrelated, but equally presumptuous note... I was wondering, given your Secret Santa cosemere fic, are you amenable to taking fiction requests? Or do you prefer working off your own prompts, except for special occasions?)

That sentance seems bizarre. Also, it's pretty much the reason I want to read that fiction now. I'll try and get the first chapter of it read soon, and either edit my thoughts in here or as a new post. Yes, my plan to guilt you into doing things is working!I'd say hijacking a thread for shameless promotion is worse. I'm doing terribly at it anyway; the 'chapters' are all very short, and, well, not very good. As much as I enjoy writing and want to be better at it, I think I might prefer reading a little bit more. At least that way I don't shoot myself in the foot when I pretend to know what I'm talking about. EDIT: Okay, I'm three chapters into Fangirl. I think I'll read the whole thing before commenting (since it's a completed piece) but there's two things I wanted to ask about it. Firstly, what world is this set in? When I heard the pitch, I assumed it was in-MCU, and Anna mentioned Loki trying to take over her world, which seemed to back that up, except that she mentions Avengers as a movie. Is this a cross-universe fiction, or a case where following New York the Avengers got their own movie deal ('Starring David Hasselhoff as Director Fury!') or is it something else entirely? I have to admit that, right now, the changing between the two took me out of the story a little, so I wanted to hold off reading until I know what I'm getting into (unless that malleability is a plot point, in which case, don't answer the question and I'll figure it out on my own). The second thing is, is this school she attends based on a real place? Because if so, after I die, I might have to make sure I respawn as a female character next time.

Thanks for the feedback. I was trying to write the second part of Kayla, then something happened that made my outline useless. So, while I did do another part of her story, the story hasn't moved as far along as I thought it would. Then again, one of the things I've always had problems with is how to move about within a chapter without saying 'and then they went here, and they went there, and this person did that' so this chapter having a little bit of lateral movement might be a good thing. I'll try and post another bit sometime this week, but I have to readjust my outline a bit first. Story Two: Kayla {Ongoing} Chapter Two: Tangled Li(v)es When she came to, Kayla wasn’t in the Tangles. She tried to reach to scrub the muck and filth out of her visor, and felt something pulling against her. She felt a stab of panic, before a gruff voice said “Stop your thrashing.” She felt the weights under her arms give way, and fell to the ground with a lumpy thud. She raised her hands and cleaned her mask, to see the Sergeant and another guard looking at her. Another… two guards? Her vision was blurry. She felt a thick dent in the back of her helm and grimaced. For such a scrawny man, that thief had been strong. “Stop that,” the sergeant said as she reached to undo the helmet. His voice was louder than the ringing. They were in a small side-street off the markets. Kayla blinked, and reached for the clasp on the front of her face. He grabbed her hand, and squeezed through the metal. “I said, stop that!” “Turns, sir, she’s out of it.” The other guard knelt next to her, and ran a hand along the back of her neck. She felt something poking the back of her head, and coming away wet. “See that lump? Something must have hit her hard. She’s completely confused.” “Con…food?” Kayla said, trying to get her mouth around the words. Her tongue felt thick, and slow, and lazy. She reached a hand to her mask again, rubbing it gingerly. She couldn’t take it off, so it was as close to her face as she could get, and her face felt warm, and uncomfortable. A dim thought raced through, of a man-or was a thief?-, and him being hungry, or was it me, or…? Realisation struck, as heavy as the timber log. Her eye’s widened, and the only reason she didn’t jolt to her feet in shock was because they felt like water. Oh no. Did I really… damnit! She looked at the two guards. They didn’t look like they were going to court martial her, but then, how could she tell? Their helms were as flat and blank as her own, the slits in the face for the eyes and mouth too narrow to show expression. Their cloaks and tunics were different colours, but that was because anyone who joined the justices took whichever they were given. The masks and gauntlets were the real mark of their profession, and they were uniform, except for the short plume of rank atop the sergeants. She swallowed nervously. They could be planning to execute me right now, and I couldn’t tell. She braced a hand against a wall, and started trying to stand. “Sirs, I-“ “Stay down,” the other guard said, planting a hand on her shoulder. “You aren’t fit to walk.” “Yes, I am,” she insisted. “I mean, yes, I am, sir. I can stand, I’m fine to walk, I’m… fit. Sir.” The guard nodded, humouring her, and Kayla felt her cheeks flame. Her head still felt thick and lumpy. She placed a hand on Stringer for some sort of balance, and looked between the guards. After a moment, the sergeant spoke. “No you aren’t. Arlan, take her to the barracks. Have someone look her over. And you,” he added, turning to her, “what’s your name?” “Ka-Kayla sir.” She gulped. “Cadet Kayla.” He snorted. “Well then, Cadet Kayla. Once you’re cleared for health, go find a smith. Get him to pull that dent out of your helm while you’re wearing it. Maybe that’ll teach you not to do something so stupid in the future. “ “Yes sir.” It was stupid to follow a criminal? she thought resentfully, as Arlan swung her arm over his shoulder. But of course that wasn’t what he meant. Going into the Tangles, for any reason, that was the stupid part. For some reason, that seemed funny. She started to giggle. “Well, at least you can see the funny side of things,” Arlan said as they headed towards the barracks. “A shame sergeant Keron won’t.” That sobered her up. “I’m sorry sir,” she said quickly. “I didn’t mean anything by it.” “Of course not. It’s just the head injury.” There was something in his tone when he said that, something in the way he turned to look at her. It made her smile. “That’s right. Just something rattling around my broken head.” “Lots of something’s by the sound of it.” They staggered on through the market. They didn’t have to worry about the crowds; most of them were opening to let the guards pass by habit, and they were rather pointedly ignoring the fact that one was injured and being supported by the other. After a moment, he added, “It must have been a bad knock you took. Do you know what happened?” Kayla’s smile faded. “No,” she said, shaking her head and instantly regretting it; it made spots appear. “One moment, I’m following someone, the next, I’m being shouted at.” The words came out before she could stop them, but Arlan chuckled. “Yes, sergeant Keron has a way with cadets. Then again, most of you won’t stay after a year of pay, so I can see why he doesn’t bother getting friendly.” “I’m going to stay,” Kayla whispered. It was part of the agreement when you took up guard training. One year’s training; food and board, followed by one year’s service with the same, and whatever pay trickled down from the top to you. You could leave after the year, or stay. It wasn’t as if she had much to go back to. “Am… am I going to be drummed out?” she asked, afraid of the answer. “For… this?” She raised a hand to touch the dent on her helmet, but Arlan grabbed it. “Best not touch it,” he said, lowering her hand. “You don’t know how serious it is. As for being drummed out, I doubt it. Surprisingly, letting yourself get conked on the head and left for dead in a back alley is not the dumbest thing I’ve seen one of you do.” Kayla laughed, and instantly regretted it. Maybe Arlan realised that, because he didn’t say anything else until they had approached the guardhome. It was a huge building, even though most didn’t know it. The entrance on the street was small, the inside cramped. It was made out of a brick red brick, with a sword and shield hanging over the door in bronze. If Kayla squinted, she could make out the spiral patterns that had been carved into the weapons, now faded from years of exposure to the elements, but squinting only made the headache hurt more. They went past that. That was the front entrance, for whenever the citizenry had a reason to call upon them. Down the side street there was a locked gate, which Arlan opened with a key from inside his tunic. The guard entrance was more spacious. It opened onto the training field, though at the moment, the strawman targets were left unattended. The sounds of wooden swords striking rang from a nearby building, followed by aggravated shouts, insinuating that this years’ volunteers were descended from farm animals and had all the martial skill of a western tribesman. More colourfully, of course. Kayla felt a smile turn her lips. Loren had a certain motivating way with words. They went past the training grounds and towards a smaller wing, whose stone had been whitewashed. Arlan left Kayla on a bed in the medical ward, leaving to find an attendant. Now that they were inside the guardhome, Kayla removed her helmet. She turned it over, and staring at the round dent left in it. If I hadn’t been wearing this, he would have cracked my skull, she thought in shock. Maybe he had done it anyway. She hadn’t been lying earlier; it felt like something was rattling around her head. She tried to move, to make herself more comfortable, but it only marginally helped. She placed a hand against her neck, trying to find the injury. “Stop that,” someone said, and Kayla nearly jumped, expecting sergeant Keron. Instead, it was an attendant, dressed in white robes and wearing a mask. “I hate it when patients try to diagnose themselves.” He stepped towards her, and pulled off a glove. Kayla flinched slightly. “Sit still,” he said, clicking his tongue. She tried to, her hands tightening around the corners of the bed. He made her lean forward. “You don’t like Printing?” he asked. “I’ve had… bad experiences of it.” “Well, suck it up,” he said, placing a finger to the base of her neck. Her breath caught in her throat, and then she released it. She felt a little calmer, even as she was a little impatient. The attendant pressed two fingers against her neck, just below the wound, and she felt nothing. Then he pressed them on the lump, and she breathed deeply. “Don’t complain,” he said. He didn’t have to, though; she muttered it at the exact same time. Complaining about someone hurting you when they were doing something to make you better was worse than stupid, it was a waste of time. The fact that those feelings were coming from the Prints of the attendant didn’t really change that. “A bad lump… how did it happen?” “Someone hit me in the back of the head,” she said carefully. “Hard. I guess. I wasn’t looking.” The attendant clucked again, then stood back. He held out a bare arm in front of Kayla. She stared at it for a moment, before she realised what he meant. She pulled the gauntlet off her right hand and set it by the side of the bed, then grasped his arm. She watched his eyes glaze over slightly. He flinched, raising a hand to his temple. She left go. “A very bad lump,” he muttered. His voice and tone were a little softer, and less snappish. He shook his head. “You’re disoriented. Not a concussion, thankfully, though it might be a few days before you’re up on your feet again.” Kayla nodded mutely, lying back on the bed. “So I just… wait here?” “Here? No.” The sharp tone came back, and Kayla almost laughed. For someone who was so susceptible to Printing, her own didn’t seem to last long. “We’ll keep you tonight for observation but then you should let someone who needs this bed have it. I’ll just inform your superior officer to take you off the rota. Who is it?” “Vena. Lieutenant Vena.” Behind them, Arlan whistled. “Maybe you should tell her cadet Kayla is in critical condition. There might be less fallout that way.” The attendant glanced at the guardsman darkly. “I’ll take that under advisement, justice. In the meantime, I’d suggest that cadet Kayla gets some rest, and you return to duty. Is there anyone else who should be informed you’re here?” he added, looking back at her. Kayla thought for a moment. “My barrackmate,” she said. “Cadet Sheron. She might wonder where I am.” “No one else? Family?” Kayla’s lips pursed together. “No sir. No family.” The attendant raised an eyebrow, and Kayla winced. That was a mistake. She’d gotten used to people not being able to tell her expression while she wore her helmet. She could feel Arlan looking at her, and wondered if that was why he hadn’t taken his helm off. A lot of citizens found the anonymity the justice’s gear afforded frightening, but she had rather liked it. Now, looking at him and not knowing what he was thinking, or how he was looking at her, or what he thought of how she had looked… It reminded her why Roren, Baldren, and everyone else she’d known growing up had called them the faceless giants. “Alright then,” the attendant finally said. He pulled a slip of paper out of his pocket and scribbled something in longhand. “I’ll be back to check on you in an hour or so,” he said, pocketing the sheet. “Until then, try and rest, but don’t go to sleep. You might not have a concussion, but I’d rather not risk it. Justice,” he added, bowing slightly to Arlan, before leaving. The other guard nodded back, then looked at Kayla. “Well then cadet,” he said, “I suppose that that should be my hint to leave as well. Take care.” He saluted. “And try not to wander down dark alleys. A night in bed may sound like a good incentive, but next time, you might run into someone entirely less reputable.” She smiled as he left, then turned over. It hurt, but she wasn’t paying attention to that. The attendant said not to sleep, so she wouldn’t. She would just close her eyes, and think for a while. After a few minutes, she realised the attendant didn’t have to worry about her falling asleep. The thoughts she had- of the thief, of the attendant, of Baldren and the woman in the alley- they were enough that she wasn’t going to get to sleep. She didn’t want nightmares.

I'm not surprised to hear Loki is one of your favourite characters to write. He's incredibly fun and charismatic, and honestly, when I first saw The original Thor, I wanted him to win. I noticed a few links to other stories from your tumblr, including fangirl but I didn't want to read them without your consent. Having said that and looking over it, WOW THAT'S A LONG BEAST. And there was me getting excited at maybe being able to write 10k words eventually. Needless to say, since it's one of yours, I'll read it at some point during this coming week, but probably only in chapters. I also have to add that I might be a little bit slower than I otherwise would be since I want to try and get into a habit of writing more myself. (Why yes, I did just hijack your topic to advertise my own. I need to add 'shameless is my middle name' to my signature.) Saying that, I am really curious how any fiction that promises Earths most dangerous and under-utilised resource being weaponised could be played straight.

Honestly, the Kaiju cult was the part I found most interesting in the short pitch you posted at the start of the adventure, so anymore scenes with them is great. The fact that, apparently, they get super creepy is just a tantalising bonus. Anyway, onto the secret Santa piece. I actually read the whole thing, so I'm commenting in one go rather than chapter by chapter like I usually do. Firstly, I think you deserve kudos for how you used the prompt. It's such an absurd idea, that I would have expected it to be played as a full out comedy ( Dark World, at times, was a pretty funny road trip movie). So, regardless of anything else, the fact that you played it straight is rather impressive; I imagine that it would have Ben really tempting to do some of those comedy scenes of Thor acclimating to his new world. Secondly, I really liked how you framed everything from the Scadrians point of view. For some reason, having someone interpret Mjolnir as being Pushed and Pulled felt very right. Similarly, I like how you didn't try to explain the powers of the gods outside of the Cosmere. Loki being described as a Lightweaver was another moment which just felt very appropriate. The Hoid cameo, I'll admit, I'm not as sold on. It fits with the circumstance, and if you're going to have cross-dimensional characters appear why wouldn't you use Hoid? But it felt a bit off to me, maybe just because of how open and how much information he was giving away. I get it was important to get over Vin's sceptism regarding the existence of other worlds and to get Thor into the gang, but it still felt a bit... inappropriate? Not the right word, but I'm not sure of what I'm trying to say anyway. I really liked the opening scene, with Loki sneaking through the palace. Even though it was ostensibly from his view point, it felt more like the view of someone who was from the Cosmere. It made the references to his illusion abilities more interesting and,frankly, the whole scene was just great at building up suspense. I have to admit I giggled slightly when Loki interrupted The Lord Ruler reading a newspaper, but then, what does The Lord Ruler do with his free time? I also liked the ending, which I'm not going to discuss because of spoilers. My only complaint about it is that, to me, it seemed a little jarring that we went from meting Thor to 'that' scene; I realise that seeing more of Thor would have meant rewriting huge swathes of Mistborn, but I would have liked to see him take a bit more of a role in the events. As it was, his brief fight scene and conversation were good, I just would have liked to have seen more of it. Overall, I liked it, but it's not my favourite piece that you've ever done. Still, it was the season to be jolly, and it had enough elements that I did enjoy it and myself. It makes me a little curious to see how you'd handle a full blown Avengers fan fiction.

, especially since Pizza