Quiver

I read his first two laws after I finished all his books, and at the time, the third law wasn't up yet. Since you mentioned it, I've had a look at it, and it (and you guys) made me realise how badly I was breaking it. Printing isn't really a magic system. It's a shift in how human beings operate as social creatures. But I hadn't really considered that and was just plugging into a bland setting. Again, thanks for providing ideas for improvement. The money thing. You know, I actually had thought of using real life currency as a way to illustrate what I meant, but I didn't even consider in-world stuff. Now that it's been mentioned, I can't believe I overlooked it. I have to say, I kind of like the idea of a society (or at least a nation) where the introduction of currency has actually made people more open and sociable. By all means, hijack away, and I hope you don't mind if I use some of these. Edgedancer, I was planning on saying that that was what I had initially thought of, but on reflection, it's not. At least, not in the details. I had thought of using the imprint of a Dark Lord. The reason I mentioned coloured in my opening was because I pictured it leaving something like the black spot, which I called the Stain. The idea was a pitch of "What if the One Ring still worked after Sauron died?" or how a political text can continue to influence people down the centuries. I liked the idea of an evil which is dead and gone, and still influencing the world. How do you fight that? Problem was, I couldn't think of a way to do it without seeming contrived or hand waving, especially since I had the antagonist start at the bottom. I know it's fantasy cliche, but I like the suggestion of having this power already set up, and I like the idea of it being more morally grey. I am a tad nervous about stuff like that ("Remember kids, the moral is, a perfect society is one in which we are all slaves to the overlord!") but the concept itself is so extreme that political wrangling sounds like looking for trouble. As I've said, I'm really grateful and surprised at how much support my hokey setting/system is getting. Writing would definitely be a way to start exploring this stuff, besides which I need some heavy critique anyway. I'll try and get a short story (or at least the rough draft of a first draft) up in the next couple of days. It's a good thing your enthusiasm is leaving me with no pressure lol. Thanks again to everyone whose replied here.

Oh dear. How unfortunate that the first post of 2014 is a less positive one. Lady Feather, I apologise for my somewhat unflattering review of Cursed Sun. I appreciate your patronage, and enjoyed aspects of it, but I felt you deserved a sincere reaction, rather than blind praise. I hope you will not take this as a slight, against either your esteemed person or your work, but I am prepared to resign my commission if you so wish. Even if doing so robs me of a good excuse to speak in this manner. (I do believe I mentioned my inclinations towards chattyness and silliness, O Plumaged One)

The cognitive aspect

I wish I had my copy of Warbreaker right now. I was under the assumption that Returned did have memories of their mortal life, but hazy ones,maybe only of people who were important to them. We don't get any other Returneds perspective, but I imagine Calmseer must have remembered her daughter to an extent. Unless she believed that her goal as a Returned was to heal this random person she didn't know.

You know, that is a much better explanation than what I had. I was thinking of some vaguely ascribed power, leyline-like, but this golden spiral idea sounds neat. I'll have to look into it. I'd also kind of considered the idea that a nation is influenced by the people who live in it. At the same time, people who are born in a particular place are Imprinted towards certain traits. My initial idea was that it would, on most cases, be a fairly temporary influence, but that makes an interesting idea. The early idea I had was that the idea of a permanent Imprint was impossible, so naturally the villain would have it. This sounds a lot more interesting though, sort of makes me think of Trills, which isn't a bad thing. Of course, it means I really have to brush up on my science, but research is a necessity anyway. Since you mention science, it makes me think of religion., I'd thought of adapting Welsh concepts of reincarnation, but I have to say, the idea of such easily formed cults or armies has me intrigued. One aspect I had considered was that manual crafts would be in higher demand. People who build things would be in higher demand. I took the name from chiropractor, because I find the idea of a massage that relaxes your muscles and fills you with positive feelings interesting. Sorry to ramble on so much. I think it's clear I'm sort of new to this, and I'm mostly enthused that I'm getting such a positive reaction for this. It's taken posting here for me to realise my world building isn't good enough. As you say, it's a very polarising magic system that affects everyone at all levels of society, and I had the idea of plugging it into a generic fantasy setting. Thanks for setting me straight and giving me some really important points to consider.

With a bead.

I'm looking forward to whatever trap you've landed poor Mira in lol. I've finished chapter four. When you describe this competition, I understand the time jump. It takes time to build up a new civilisation. I have to admit though that, if you were jumping forward in time, I might have liked something more Mistborn-like, with each chapter jumping forward x number of years. Part of that is because I've been curious for a long time about how a solar-cult would react to space travel. But, I can see why you didn't go with that. Even though the story involves the development of these people, it's about Kalir. I can't fault you for that, it just a personal tic; I liked the signs we got of how the Shari differed from the Jeseti; the children not understanding the curse in contrast to the elders memories, the new titles, etc. I feel bad criticising it, since it sounds like 'This would be better if you did it my way', but it is something I feel about it. That said, what's written is well-done. I like Sara's attitude, and Kalir's hesitance to lead makes sense. I want to save commenting on Varine until I finish chapter five and give a general overview. And finishing chapter five... Hmm. First of all, short stories aren't really my thing. I like getting more detail, more character interactions, etcetera. So, I want to say that I wish Varine had had a larger role in this chapter, and that we had seen Reene interact with Kalir before she fell sick. I liked the idea of the cultural warfare, and I would have liked to see more of it, personally, first hand. But while that's stuff I like, it's mostly extraneous to the actual story, which is Kalir saving and reuniting with his sister. That part was well handled, though it is why I might have liked a scene with Reene earlier. Her arguments on the coronation for and against the Shari made sense, but I was a little lost relating to her character, since all her moments before this were her lying in a bed sick. All in all, I liked this story, but I have to admit, I think it may be the weakest one of yours I've read. I get that it's about a cultural movement, but Kalir's actions try to make the story more personal. I loved the idea of the Jaset/Shari, and I would enjoy future fiction based around them. I'm just not sure if a short story is the right format for this. But, as said, I'm kind of biased against short stories anyway, despite knowing that length is no indication of worth. I'm sorry if I should overwhelmingly negative, since I don't mean offence. It's all personal reaction, and for some reason, this story didn't quite click for me in it's current form.

.Unfortunately, Bizarro Jasnah

Well, after debating which to go for, I'll start by giving my thoughts on Scroungers. I actually read the whole thing through rather than live blog for once. If you prefer it one way or the other, then let me know for the future. I'll edit this post in with my thoughts on each scene, but since I already know how the piece ends, I might jump around a bit. Section one does a great job of building up how bizarre the situation is, with Leah's escalating money offers. Maybe I'm just a terrible person, but I think I'd be more prepared to give away someone's name than I would be to offer a fifteen thousand dollar raise. I also liked how thorough the characters were in vetting the situation. The money and the ad seem so suspicious, but the paper trail is so clean, and the mother is so genuine. Then you see the girl hooked onto life support. I may not like Seiko, but these latest sessions have seemed to be working on humanising him. He protected Miranda, gave her pain relief medication, and now he's already decided he's going to help Leah, regardless of everyone else. Whereas Sylvie has spent the last couple sessions becoming frustrated with them, detached, and is the dissenting voice in the group here. It's a parallel that I find kinda interesting. The last line of Miranda's really made it feel like a tv or movie scene, too. The second half continues with making the scene suspicious. As I've said before, I think Eleanor works best in the talking scenes, so this session played to her strengths. I also feel vindicated in thinking that there's something up with her, if someone who has only known her a few minutes is wary enough to say she's worse than a man with a gun. I admit I found this scene slightly disorientating, and there were some pieces I just can't make my brain fit together. I'm a little unclear why Miranda was backing to the door. Rereading it, it seems like intimidation tactics, but the insistent repeated thought that she had to do it makes me slightly confused. Same a little later on when one of the team says " Ma- Leah,". I can't think of why they would say 'ma' unless it was Madame. I may be overlooking something, but like the first half, it contributes to making the situation seem... dodgy. I'm curious about the ending. Given Miranda's concerns about them leaving something behind, I'm guessing she has picked up something instead. The whole thing gets more and more suspicious by the second... And on a minor grammar note; when Seiko is discussing Drifting with Leah, is his sentance supposed to say she might not be the best choice? At the moment the 'not' is missing. And back to Cursed Sun, I'm really surprised at how happy this story feels. It's maybe unfair, since the only thing I'm comparing it too is VanaLen, but this chapter wasn't the depressing turn I had expected. For a piece with such a gloomy title, it's surprisingly optimistic so far. They've endured the curse and found a way to overcome it. They convinced the Daiem to take the leaves and, presumably, save Renee. They might have been exiled, but they already have two travelling companions. Speaking of whom, I really like Aycee. I like how contradictory he is, wanting to go and being afraid to. I was thinking that it seems like a very short time passes between Kalir and Varine leaving and the others following, but then I realised talking since they left might have been referring to the end of chapter one instead. I also liked getting some more information on Jayset. As I said, I liked your world building, but before reading this, it sounded small. I was going to ask how large it was, or if the entire nation was riddled with canyons. Given those questions, I liked Kalir pointing out how small their world was and what it could be.

Basically. I suffer from mild OCD, part of which means I hate doing exactly what this system entails; touching people, or touching things other people have touched. This is sort of intended as a case of, if I had this magic, it would be my worst nightmare, because Aside from the brainwashing aspect, everything everywhere would appear contaminated. Thanks for this. World building is something I'm fairly terrible at, seeing as how it involves genuine creativity. I'm sort of unsure how to go about world building or how to start it, so this is really useful. At the moment, the only idea I had was that the land of the story would have a setting that was a mix of Gaelic and Asiatic cultures, since a book I recently read on Celtic myth identified what I thought were interesting similarities between the two. Do you have any advice regarding creating a world? This is a point I'm still debating. As I said, it's partly based on Celtic settings, and one of the interesting points I read was that Celtic tombs (not actual tombs, but I can't remember the precise name) were decorated with spiral like patterns, like the design of a fingertip. I'm thinking of including that as an alternative system, to reflect the Druid-esque archetype, but I don 't know if it's appropriate. It kind of fits, with the spiral theme, but I'm unsure of having a more primitive and spectacular magical art cheapens the other.

In that case, I hope you won't find my joke about them being solar-powered offensive. When I get comfortable talking to people, I tend to get a bit chatty and jokey, so I'll reel that in a bit. I'm gonna start by reading the race info you posted, and I'll try and get some chapters done as well. Finished it. I found the stuff you came up with for the Jaiseti original and well-thought out. I'm usually a bit dubious about new peoples, since I always expect "Their like X but...." But that isn't he case here. I liked how you worked the implications of sunlight into all levels of their culture, with the freckling and the sunburn. Reading this has given me a bit more of an appreciation for the first chapter, since I understand why what Kalir is doing is viewed as so wrong, beyond the typical fantasy explanation of it just being taboo. I was also impressed with the amount of detail you put into how the biology of these people work. I'm poor at understanding chemistry and biology so most of it went over my head, but I enjoyed that you put that thought into it to begin with. I also really appreciated that you came up with (or considered real life) effects of having too much sunlight. Back to.the story, and after the guarded optimism of chapter one, this really does start rather doom-ridden. I'm actually very much an indoors type person, not that the weather is particularly strong anyway, so despite having seen it, I've never been sunburnt. So, I don't know how that passage would read to someone who has experienced it first hand, but seeing it through the prism of Jaiseti beliefs makes it quite scary. I love Varines description of the skin dying; it seems very appropriate for the culture. I also liked Kalirs reflections on Elumis. Religion is hard to balance in fiction, and I think it worked well here. I liked how, as he became cursed, he started remembering the story, not in the vague way, but word for word. Being the victim of a Gods curse seems like the sort of thing that would make you try to remember scripture accurately. After so much doom and gloom, the ending is again optimistic, but the tone of this story, so far, is fairly upbeat, so I was expecting a happy ending. Then again, since they successfully found the feversbane so quickly, I'm expecting a nasty plot twist next chapter. Finally, as a general note, I notice you wanted spelling and grammar pointed out to you, but I think it's clear by now that I'm fairly illiterate in those areas. The only part that seemed odd to me was when you broke up a sentance using two semi-colons. It just seemed like it gave an odd pause to me, but as I said, I could just have misunderstood it.

As I said, there's no rush for the link. Between Cursed Sun and the Scroungers, I should have plenty of stuff your comfortable with being read available to read. As for Len and Vanaline, I'm gonna guess it's either the evilness, or the Siren aspect. (And don't think I didn't notice that the Siren is a feathered abomination, little miss Feather Writer. Methinks it's not just your writing skills that have helped you garner such a following.) Or, more likely, it's the chemistry. As I said, from that short extract, I can't see them as a legitimately romantic couple. But I can picture them in a war of dominance, and that would be quite fun to read. To keep this even slightly on topic, I'm finishing off the first chapter of Cursed Sun. Short comment is that, after that fraked up situation, this is a nice palette cleanser. It seems much more of a 'traditional' fantasy story, with a not ignoble protagonist and love interest. The setting is curious. I kind of like the belief that just being in sunlight makes you feel better. I remember arguing a point like that with some teachers years ago (unless this isn't metaphorical or endorphins based, and these people are Bulbasaurs). I don't have much to say about the first chapter. It's all set up, and quick paced. I generally like things being more built up, but this seems like a relatively short story, so that's hardly a problem.

This is something I've been thinking about for a little bit, having minor moments of enthusiasm then tapering off. I'm a bit nervous about making this public, since it is so obviously in it's infancy stages, but I was hoping that maybe someone could give me some pointers on how to improve this. In particular, I've edgy since it sounds too familiar to Soul Stamping, though in my (flimsy) defence, I only started reading that book recently and still haven't quite finished it. Chiromancy- an Epic Fantasy Magic In this world, practitioners of magic have it constantly at their fingertips. When a person is born, the Gods stamp them with spirals on their fingertips, commonly known as Prints. These Prints are an extension of a person's identity, and anything the person touches is left with a Print that contains something of them. For instance, two chairs made by different artisans would have different feelings associated with them. A persons Prints can be passed on to someone else, either through direct contact with the person or by touching something they have Printed. This has the effect of influencing the person affected, though the results are typically temporary. The Prints of persons with extreme personalities tend to hold for longer. Particular artefacts, such as thrones or standards are considered to be more durable than mundane items. The belongings of a great individual are believed to be particularly strongly stamped with his personality; a number of folklore and myths revolve around suits of armour, blades, or staves so powerfully imprinted by the original owner that all future bearers were effectively transformed into the original owner. A Print will naturally fade over time, but can be wiped away using cleaning agents and a cloth. They can also be made more permanent through the applications of varnishes. Experiments have been conducted using replicas of Prints made from wax or wood. However, these replicas do not provide the effect as a fresh Print. While Chiromancy is present in everyone, only those who study it's secrets are referred to as Chiromancers. Each nation has it's own laws governing the use of and identification of Chiromancers, but one feature common to all is that Chiromancers wear gloves. The thickness are form of these gloves vary; in lands were Chiromancy is distrusted they may be thickly buckled, where others will be soft. It has become a recent trend in lands where Chiromancy is publicly practiced to wear gloves which have the cloth covering the Prints to be removed. Chiromancers can recognise different Prints at a glance. For most this is a result of intensive study. For those who are more naturally inclined towards it, each Print is as distinct as different colours. When a Chiromancer performs a task, they will often dip their finger in ink first, as a sign that it is an action being purposefully carried out. Individuals in rural areas have claimed that replication of Printings spiral patterns can obtain the same, or greater results. Where Chiromancy is a subtle art, focusing on identification and tracking, these shamans claim to produce startling effects such as pyres, or summoning lightning. These practitioners may garner respect in their respective communities, but most Chiromancers regard it as a forgery. Any thoughts?

I'm actually the reverse on Rincewind. I find the idea of him really funny, but I hate his books since they are so aimless. So I love Sorcery since it has a good character and stories, but I think Eric is maybe the single worst novel in the series.

Beneath the Cursed Sun is the Audition piece, yeah? As you say it's five parts long, so I'll go with the shorter and more recent piece first of all. As usual, I'll edit this post when I finish VanaLen. Uh... So I finished. damnation. I have no idea if I'd call that a ship fic. It seems like a pretty fraked up and disturbing situation to me. A really interesting one - but also pretty fraked up. (Feel free to substitute other curse words for 'frak') I like the theme of power that runs through the whole piece. The whole thing has a sense of horrible inevitability for him. Obviously I don't know much about the setting, but it's interesting that, here at least, he seems to be the only character without a special power. Tiora has her empathic abilities, Len has summoning powers (which, admittedly, I don't understand completely), and Vanaline has her siren song. That issue of power is maybe why it doesn't seem 'romantic'. Len kissing Venaline is only after the other tried the same, so I wonder how much of it is a genuine attraction, how much of it is a reinforcement of status, and how much is one that unexpectedly turns into the other. Len and Venaline seem like villains, and generally despicable people. I'm really curious to read more about them now, but I'm fine with waiting until you're happy with it.

was late for

the dinner party

Best of luck with the secret Santa fiction then, and I hope I get a chance to critique that as well. I enjoy your writing style. Actually, if you don't mind my asking, do you have any original fiction? Slightly off-topic maybe, but all the links here are to Cosmere/Sydney things. You said that you tried to follow Brandon's style for Cosmere, and Scroungers is a collaborative piece, so I was sort of curious if you had any pieces in your own setting. That... sounds much more insulting than I mean it to, so let me clarify: I really enjoy your stuff. I'm just curious if you have anything that's not fan fiction, if only so I can have a few more things to read. I'm really sorry in advance if this request is too prying or comes across as an insult, since I don't mean it as either. It's all a matter of curiosity (and trying to learn how to write).

Sounds like a fun game, and if there's one person who needs fun in his life it's Quinn. The town crier, what he has been reporting has been getting more and more depressing. Deaths, mistsickness, the threat of invasion, not to mention the gossip and backbiting that always bubbles beneath the surface in times of stress. It's no wonder that when he isn't performing his duties, he is wrapped in a cloak in the tavern, nursing drinks.

A nearby Inquisitor

It appears my anti-panic attack plans did not include singing being noticed by Brandon. I might need to re-think my security procedures. In the meantime, try to enjoy Brandon's attention and not hyperventillate And no problem about commenting. I was going to post again there, but I was a tad worried about being off-topic... But I really enjoy reading your fiction, and I LOVED hearing your thoughts on my thoughts. I've kinda had a secret desire to be a writer, so hearing that sort of insight from someone whose work I enjoy is fantastic. And on completely unrelated information, I edited in some Featherbow info out of boredom.

I don't have my copy of WoA to hand, but doesn't Ruin communicate with Vin during those moments, posing as a benign force? That had an influence over her freeing him I believe. Also, I recall a topic here discussing the Mist Shade being Black in Alendis time, but White in Vins. Perhaps when Rashek reached the Well, it was Preservation he communicated with?

Even the rawest Featherbowman is expected to hit a danger at a distance, besides which there are our brothers, the Tips and the Blades to consider. I assure you, ser Pinpoint, I take no risks when it comes to the Lady's safety.

Lady Feather, I see you haven't posted session 13 yet! Good news for me, since it means I can take the opportunity to get caught up on the Act in progress. Again, live blogging since it helps me concentrate on being constructive (even if I am a tad superfical) Looking over 11/12, I don't see any divide where one ends and the next begins, so I'll just cover it scene by scene again. Firefly getting a cinematic reboot? Now I know this is a parallel universe. You guys seem very fond of your nerd culture. As if that wasn't indication of Zhu's coolness, the speech where she calls out those tropes did. I liked getting an introduction to the Kaiju kult. From your introduction post they sounded like a really interesting idea, and I've been waiting semi-patiently for them. The first scene does a good job of kicking off those new plot lines, especially with the ad; I'm curious to see how it plays out. It's also seeming like a new stage for the characters, setting up future arcs. Seeing fiVes resentment of Sylvie is interesting hint, and I'm curious to see how Katie and Eleanor deal with Zhu. You mentioned Katie having a crush on her, but Ellie's comment about the cute shirt makes me wonder if something is there, too. They did have scenes together last session where they expressed mutual respect. Scene two is sorta the same, mo ing plot along, so I don't have much to add. That said, I did find Seiko and Miranda's conversation at the end quite funny. I'm getting odd looks, so I may have giggled aloud. I've already seen that the next interlude is Reika and fiVe, so I'm curious to see how that works out. And I like the next scene. I'm guessing that fiVes free will is going to be involved moving forward, but I really like the arguments both sides have here. I know it's a fiction trope to believe in the free will of AI. In real life (with current software etc) I think I would be on Sylvies side, but in-universe, it's hard to agree with her. I'm definetly curious to see how the relationships proceed from this. You know, after the cat fight. Again, an opportunity for Eleanor to be good. As I said, I generally like the scenes where she is using her medical knowledge or people skills, so I enjoyed seeing her break up the argument. I have to admit, I kinda forgot that Sylvie is the one with combat skills, rather than Miranda, so I was sort of surprised at the resulting fight. I feel a little guilt but, I have to admit, some of Miranda's slurrings were kinda funny ('wiwifwield'). And the moment whe fiVe glitches in the interlude might be my favourite moment in the entire thing so far. I know it's brief, but it's memorable, the way Miranda and Sylvie's memories cross each other. The same goes for how she jumps at the idea of the Kaiju. FiVe seems like a really interesting jumbled up POV, and I really hope we see more of it soon. All of which brings me up to date in your work. I hope that something I've said was useful, or at least so hopelessly off target you got a good laugh out of it. I'm looking forward to any future Scrounger sessions, and thanks for the rule book. I've been considering starting tabletop RPGs lately, and that should be a helpful guide at least.

A rather broad, albeit it ignorant question; are there concrete details as to how humanity differs from one Shardworld to another, in terms of physical appearance? Is there any connection between the Shards original forms or Intents and how humanity looks on each world?