Usseewa
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Everything posted by Usseewa
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i kinda agree maybe even if what I'm thinking is different it has actually made me feel so much better about myself to shift blame of all my issues or potential issues to other things that I can't help or control. And by telling myself that other people go through it too i like disassociating i think idk if i even do it or not shrug
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well I'm obliged to say good nice that's good it's good to eat
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i got like 6 hours of sleep last night and i might get even less tonight
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that makes it sound like I'll eventually succumb to it, so why not now? I'm not particularly depressed anymore maybe I'll wait
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yeah.. i know... i guess but it just comes back eventually so what's the point?
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i wish i had time to read all this and contribute
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TW: Suicide, probably SH too. Depressing stuff. I don't feel like doing a spoiler I'm on a phone Idk i think i do dislike myself i mean I'm also trans so... yeah true. i just feel like some of it (especially the SH stuff) is.. faked or self-induced. Maybe it's a "cry for help" haha... i walked on a bridge today and look down over the side every time i walk near a river or across a bridge the thought of jumping enters my mind, even if it's "passive" or whatever it's called. What was i gonna say... oh yeah. so... ppl around me IRL... they try to be supportive and i genuinely am starting to question if they actually are which kinda scares me but it's probably just a side effect of me losing my sanity. But yeah they are, but i do feel judged and questioned and guilty and bad when i bring up stuff. and usually it ends well enough, i guess, but idk this is something different... And i could just be worried for no reason too and really they are supportive... but idk. Therapist would be better but I've probably self-harmed in the past now that I'm thinking of it (tho not necessarily cutting..), so idk if they'll call the EMS or something... which i don't want a big fuss i just wanna self harm bro... either that or "get better," whatever the heck that means
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idk it seems "fun" i just really wanna hurt myself in several ways i think i struggle with depression even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it also (possible SH)
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SH
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UwU
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UwU
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you're right! Happiness outside and not within you, only other people have that lame thing called happiness and I just have
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yeah ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ how's about SELF- uhhhhh self-ha ppiness
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nvm it's gone phew i forgot abt it with the even stronger pain from the cold
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being me and being afraid of counseling and not knowing how to talk or think
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why does it sting a little after i scratch myself a bit with my sharp broken nails?
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even better being hungry and not eating
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uhhhhh not eating :3
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yeah i wasn't saying it's related i was just saying in general
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and since it can't come off...
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THANK YOU!! i reverse rhe painrial to make it cause me immense pain
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NOOOOO!!! Sobbing until you give it back and if u don't.... then... finding some other way to inflict pain unto myself wait.. heh uhhh
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NO NO NO!! ODIUM NOT TAKING IT!! GIVE IT ALLLL TO ME!!!! huh? then idk yummy I'd leave my hand in there for hours ♥♥♥♥
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which means more pain? hopefully?
