Usseewa
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Everything posted by Usseewa
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I just looked at your profile, can't believe last post loses has so much activity
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I think of myself as sisyphus but I can't remember when or why
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sorry i had to come back just to say: i was listening to random songs on shuffle and this one called "Problems" by Alterclad came up and... and it like perfectly describes my experience. Idk.. it's very depressing and also bewarned it has like a few swears but it's just this one line (u know how sons repeat lines sometimes) Idk here's YT Ithink thee "kasano teto ver" is a vocaloid both are good tho. same lyrics, one's real person probably one's not idk i lvoe it descirbes me so well anyway bye now i've considered it. or, it had crossed my mind several times. i might... i might...
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ok ive decided ill try to take as long a break as i can from the shard so if all goes well you wont see me for a while and i try to try stop drowning in depressing content on the damn internet (or otherwise) it's ruining the life im like sisyphus. i think ive said that before i woried this would happen but its for th ebest i guess. i knw ive said ill take a break before, sometimes i have actuallyt aken it. so maybe ill give in tomrowo or somethng but yeha. and i know u said that comment abt 1 month absence = suicide. don't hold that belief still. im not gonna kill myself thx..
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i just wanna hide in a small closet and curl up and fall asleep
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honestly im not sure if i know or not. sorry for being like this though. also that... wasn't necesarily a joke... *thinks* ,,,;;///..... (imtyping in the dark. couldnt find the period_. idk tbh.. depends on ur definiton i gotta get to bed unles s i wanna make myself suffer (i do) by getting less sleep than i ever have thank u.. idk why so many people here ;crying
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being insAne
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heh uh.. ig i'll wait & see what life brings.... i'll have more isolation to sh and stuff why is it so sad
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You're welcome here! Wanna talk about what anything?
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@3$^!;+?8$7#5),
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shardkiller 9000 , idk
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fine sorry i won't joke about it ... (Implied SH and stuff) (also SH jokes) OOH OOOH OOH i should stay up all night
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ok then i won't listen to what u said now... damnit i don't have a knife with me!!!
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ooh squish me pls i wanna feel my bones break
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yeah ik ik........ sigh what do i do with my life plz tell me
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i kinda agree maybe even if what I'm thinking is different it has actually made me feel so much better about myself to shift blame of all my issues or potential issues to other things that I can't help or control. And by telling myself that other people go through it too i like disassociating i think idk if i even do it or not shrug
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well I'm obliged to say good nice that's good it's good to eat
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i got like 6 hours of sleep last night and i might get even less tonight
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that makes it sound like I'll eventually succumb to it, so why not now? I'm not particularly depressed anymore maybe I'll wait
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yeah.. i know... i guess but it just comes back eventually so what's the point?
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i wish i had time to read all this and contribute
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TW: Suicide, probably SH too. Depressing stuff. I don't feel like doing a spoiler I'm on a phone Idk i think i do dislike myself i mean I'm also trans so... yeah true. i just feel like some of it (especially the SH stuff) is.. faked or self-induced. Maybe it's a "cry for help" haha... i walked on a bridge today and look down over the side every time i walk near a river or across a bridge the thought of jumping enters my mind, even if it's "passive" or whatever it's called. What was i gonna say... oh yeah. so... ppl around me IRL... they try to be supportive and i genuinely am starting to question if they actually are which kinda scares me but it's probably just a side effect of me losing my sanity. But yeah they are, but i do feel judged and questioned and guilty and bad when i bring up stuff. and usually it ends well enough, i guess, but idk this is something different... And i could just be worried for no reason too and really they are supportive... but idk. Therapist would be better but I've probably self-harmed in the past now that I'm thinking of it (tho not necessarily cutting..), so idk if they'll call the EMS or something... which i don't want a big fuss i just wanna self harm bro... either that or "get better," whatever the heck that means
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idk it seems "fun" i just really wanna hurt myself in several ways i think i struggle with depression even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it also (possible SH)
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SH
