The cheeseman

I'm just gonna rant, so if you don't want to see that, close the spoiler box and go on with your day.

I hate summer.

Everyone else in my family loves it.

But I get dragged places I don't want to go, to do things I don't want to do, and see things I don't want to see. It's like this every goddamn year, and it's gonna be like that this year because we're going on a trip in July. Hooray.

I also hate summer because it's hot and humid the whole bloody time. Because of that, I'm never comfortable. I've never liked the heat, but living in the Midwest just makes it worse. With the heat, I can't sleep, so I'm tired all the time, so I don't have any energy, so I never get anything done.

"It's summer," you might say, "you're not supposed to get anything done."

Yeah, well, I have things I need to be doing. I have a job, so I need to be doing that, and I will be taking part one of a three-part physics course in June at the local community college. There are also personal projects of mine that I will be working on; like writing my book and doing gearbox work on my airsoft guns. I will not have very much energy to do these things, and because of that, I'll feel terrible about not having gotten them done.

Most people spiral into depression during the winter.

For me, it's the summer.

Every year, I lose motivations and break disciplines because I have no energy to be doing anything. I don't sleep in because I hardly get any sleep anyway, so I just lay in bed until noon or later, staring at my ceiling fan as it unsuccessfully tries to cool my room.

I have so little energy that I'm hardly able to make myself eat.

People always look at me weird when I tell them I prefer winter.

"What, do you like it when everything is cold, dead, and frozen?"

Yes, Matt, I do, thank you very much. I like it because I can actually feel warm--which might seem like an oxymoron, but during the summer, I can't get cool. Ever. In the winter, everything is calmer, quieter. It's peaceful. And, because of school, I have things to be doing. Schoolwork keeps me busy, it keeps my brain moving. During the winter, I don't just have my job where I wash dishes for six hours on end, I can shovel my driveway, or the sidewalk, every few days with the snow.

During the summer, it's impossible for me to sleep or be at a comfortable temperature for more than five minutes, and my family is always dragging me one place or another.

During the winter, the cold helps me sleep and I--if I'm too cold--can always throw on another layer. I'm also not being told to "Get in the car, we're going to X." every damn day.

So now that summer is coming in swing and everyone is excited about the oh-so-wonderful sunny weather, I will be here, tired as hell, waiting for it to cool down so that I can enjoy being outside again.