Edema Rue

To the theater, regarding…

I love you.

There are so many wonderful ways to say those words. 

I love you.

And I’m starting to feel that maybe you love me too. 

There are so many moments within your walls that build into endless change that is somehow comfortable.

The same warm-ups, every show, even with new actors and a new play. Change, and consistency, and you balance them perfectly.

“Good blood, bad blood, red leather, yellow leather.”

“You know you need unique New York.”

“The tongue, the teeth, the lips, articulatory tools.”

Always said the same way,

Even as we wear different costumes. 

The single blue light on the tech’s headsets;

The stage manager’s call of “blackout” and dozens of voices replying, “thank you blackout.”

Saying things like leads, ASM’s, diction, projection.

Living on soda during tech week.

A thousand moments that build together into a home. 

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

Fake blood, stained onto the carpet. 

Shackles, reused from shows long closed. 

A laced black shirt, traded from one lead to another. 

An old piano.

A torn yellow ball. 

And the actors. 

Oh, love, the actors. 

Are there words to describe the tears in my eyes and the fire in my heart?

Is there a metaphor to explain how deeply I care for them?

It is through their love that I find you.

I love them.

And they love you.

And I love you.

And you love us too.

After months of work, you add a spark of magic. 

You hold us while we cry, and teach us to laugh.

And then we do both on your stage. 

Oh glory, glory, glory!

Glory, for in you I find a home. 

Praise be to you, for though it may not be this way forever, for tonight I belong. 

For tonight, I have given myself to you and you have welcomed me. 

For tonight, every second of pain is worth it,

Because love is joy,

And there is such love in my heart. 

I love you.

You change the mundane into magic. 

You put meaning into endless repetition.

And I can love you so much because I've spent so much time alone, so much time without this love that I can truly understand the wonder it is to have you...

You, you you…

There truly are no words. 

Only love.

Oh, let me never leave you.

Let me remain always in this blessed home you have created, every wall knocked down as the warm sun shines on tired hearts. 

And if I have to go…

Just promise you’ll wait. 

Promise you’ll always be here, because if I leave I will always come back. 

Because…

Because you are home.

Because I come alive when I am with you.

Because I love you.

Rue

Y'all.

Y'aaaaaaalllllllllllll.

Macbeth closed tonight.

I scudding love all those people, I wish I could've been in it. But y'know what, I gave them all hugs, including the cute ones and the gay ones >:3

...speaking of which, please tell me this isn't just me. Guys (and girls, to all y'all who don't like guys) just look so much more attractive onstage, especially when they have a part they can play really well. Some examples:

Guys in chains.

Guys with nooses around their necks.

Guys in chains with nooses around their necks.

Guys with fake blood on their hands.

Guys who are getting their throats slit.

Guys who are slitting other guys throats.

Guys wearing crowns.

Guys playing assassins.

I DONT KNOW MAYBE I JUST NEED TO LIVE IN MEDIEVAL TIMES WHEN MORE GUYS WERE LIKE THIS IN THEIR DAY TO DAY LIVES???

Um anyway. Something about feeling loved just makes the rest of the world fall in place. I can't wait for the day when I can truly call these people friends, for the day when I find someone who will love me as more than a friend, then for the day he breaks my heart and we both keep living anyway, and then I find someone new, and so on and so forth until I find someone I can spend eternity with. (Um @Calano Corvus I think I blame your music for every feeling I have xD)

...how are you wonderful people doing?