Mags

okay life update time!!!

I was gonna try to other productive things today but ... I'm in a weird mood so it is what it is. I tried making some paper Christmas decorations for my room and they turned out really bad T-T so I'm kinda not in the mood to work on other hobbies lol

It feels really weird mostly not having any school work to do. I feel like I should be doing something productive, but there's not much to really do. I'm supposed to relax over my break but so far I can't get myself to.

I'm really excited about Christmas but it kind of snuck up on me this year. It's crazy how Dec felt so long when I was child but now it barely feels like any time at all. I'm trying really hard to be happy and relaxed for the holidays but my mental health is still not great. Not leaving the house regularly and butting heads with my family because I'm home more is not helping. Anyway it's weird to think that Christmas is just a few days away, I really don't feel prepared and I wish I had put together more gifts.

My health has been ... not good lately, in various ways. Doing school and work at the same time is really taking it out of me, and making issues I've always had more apparent. I've gone to the doctor several times but it's always kind of disappointing. It kind of irks me that they don't really care to find out what's wrong with me, they just want to put a band aid over things and hope they go away. I really don't like taking pills, especially when it feels like they're not doing much at all. 

On a more positive note, I'm so happy it's finally winter. I tried really hard not to hate fall this year, but I just can't help but feel miserable during it. There's something about it that's just so oppressive and stuffy and it makes me feel bad. We haven't got much snow at all in Utah yet but I can feel the change in the air and see the new sunlight color. It's so refreshing and so nice!! I'm actually so happy it's winter now it's kind of silly. I've been really enjoying cuddling up in blankets and hoodies. Winter isn't going to fix my problems but at least I won't fill gross whenever I look outside lol.

I don't have very many goals for 2016, but I'm excited for the new year. 2025 was definitely not a good year for me, and I don't know if much is going to change but at least a fresh start will feel good. I bought myself a fancy planner to try and give myself motivation lol. This new year I do want to try to read more, I read very little this year and it makes me sad. I also want to try and start shifting my wardrobe towards clothes I like more.

I don't want to write too long, even tho there's more stuff I could say lol. I miss you guys and would be more active I just don't spend much time on the computer anymore. (Not to say I've been less chronically online, I just scroll on my phone way too much lol).

I hope you guys are having a good day!!