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That1Cellist

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Everything posted by That1Cellist

  1. That1Cellist
    Oh. I see. I don't like being a sacrifice, but maybe it would be better to just tell the truth and get eaten anyway.
  2. That1Cellist
    Wow a lot of stuff happened when I wasn't paying attention. Just wondering, what is the average self-esteem of my fellow cellists like?
  3. That1Cellist
    No I've appeased the bunnies already. The people though... ummmm what would this wrath entail?
  4. That1Cellist
    Yes. Being left alone with my delusions is much more realistic. What in the world is wrong with me? What am I doing? I’m turning this AMA into the opposite.
  5. That1Cellist
    Because it’s me. I would rather you don’t.
  6. That1Cellist
    “Anna” from When Marnie Was There
  7. That1Cellist

    Help help help help help help

    I don't know what a panic attack feels like but I might have one.

    What do I do?

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. That1Cellist

      That1Cellist

      Yeah. Thank you all. I managed to not die. The advice was nice, even if I was at school so I couldn’t do some of the things. Thank you all so much!

    3. The Aspiring Archivist

      The Aspiring Archivist

      Oh, at school is rough. If that happens, try to excuse yourself from the room if you can, assuming you're in class.

    4. Bird Furious

      Bird Furious

      Sushzbwkeofhenakriensbfnenwkdjwnbfosnwbdlwnebrschool.

  8. That1Cellist

    Hi everybody!

    Does anyone else worry they're an attention seeker? Often, I think I am. I hate this. I feel like I don't even know if the things I feel are real. What if I'm just trying to get attention? Just trying to get people to notice me?

    Falling. Down. Faster. Rushing to an inevitable demise. Endlessly. There is no way to know when the ground will appear through the haze, getting larger, moving upward through an unending mist. The ground rushes upward as I fall forever. Screams are let loose. Are they mine? Are they even real? A false sense of danger, of hopelessness? As the ground gets ever closer, I wonder not when I will hit it, for it is hidden from my eyes, but if it is even real or not.

    Ummmm. After writing that I realize it probably sounds a lot more dangerous than it is. I've actually been doing reasonably well recently.

    1. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      I worry that too, occasionally.

    2. Bird Furious

      Bird Furious

      I think about that all the time. I think we all are, to some degree, but it's healthy usually. I don't think you have to worry, but I guess sometimes it feels good to (Personal experience is a great teacher). 

  9. That1Cellist
    How do we come to terms with our own existence? Our personality, mortality, traits we have that do not change? How do we acknowledge who we are, or better yet, find ourselves?
  10. That1Cellist
    Welcome! Do you play an instrument?
  11. That1Cellist
    "Trust the doctor! They went to medischool year." @Ranryu
  12. That1Cellist
    Do you play an instrument? It's nice to have more people!
  13. That1Cellist
    *Hugs* This is an unfortunate thing. Hopefully you will be able to figure this out.
  14. That1Cellist
    I am paranoid. I really want people to make sense. I want to understand. I want to know what to say and do. I don't. I'm scared. I don't even know anymore. And the language fails me.
  15. That1Cellist
    That's terrifying. My orchestra teacher talks about how string players need to breath too, not just band people. He talks about it literally all the time. Shining Silhouette is Mr. Whitman confirmed?
  16. That1Cellist

    Hi.

    I think I may be unwell.

    Actually, I almost definitely am unwell.

    I like the shower because running water hides the sounds of sadness.

    1. The Aspiring Archivist

      The Aspiring Archivist

      You should talk to someone about it.

    2. That1Cellist

      That1Cellist

      That is an intelligent piece of guidance.

  17. That1Cellist

    Are you a spam bot?

    1. The Bookwyrm

      The Bookwyrm

      MaYhApS...

    2. That1Cellist

      That1Cellist

      You've posted the same thing in nine different threads...

  18. That1Cellist
    I would live in the Narnia afterlife because that's the first thing I thought of. It's happy and adventurous.
  19. That1Cellist
    Those are decent reasons. But still, yes, I’m talking about me.
  20. That1Cellist
    Hmm Yes as you apparently remember, I was trying to escape people. This fits into what I’ve been saying. How is it a fair assessment to say I sound differently when our interaction was very limited?
  21. That1Cellist
    Me. That1Cellist. Depressed sharder person or something. You can’t remember me probably because we haven’t ever really talked at all.
  22. That1Cellist

    You know what a nasty thing about feeling depressed is? Being scared to talk about it. 

    I feel stupid saying things because my thoughts and feelings sound stupid and irrational when I try to speak them out loud. I also don’t want to take away from other people’s happiness by talking about how I’m feeling sad or whatever. And also, plenty of people deal with their feelings just fine without any of this sort of nonsense. 

    But mostly the thing is feeling embarrassed. I don’t want to make anyone unduly worried, and saying how I feel just sounds stupid. Well, maybe I’m not even sad. Maybe I’m just a mean spirited person who just wants attention and for people to feel sorry for him.

    Sorry everyone. None of you should or need to deal with this all. I’m also sorry this wasn’t written in some sort of cryptic poem or the sort of language I usually use. 

    1. The Aspiring Archivist

      The Aspiring Archivist

      The feeling seem irrational because they are. That's the problem, that's why it's depression. It's a state of emotions that doesn't necessarily follow reason, although it is often incited by negative circumstances such as stress or grief.

      When it comes to depression and these kinds of things, it is ABSOLUTELY VITAL that you share it! Trying to just deal with that kind of thing on your own and hoping it passes is not only unproductive, it's dangerous. Anyone who thinks less of you for sharing how you feel and searching for help doesn't understand anything about human psychology.

      Please, please find a trusted adult (or better, an actual counselor or therapist) and talk about it. I've had my own struggles with anxiety and depression and bottling it up just makes it worse.

    2. Bird Furious

      Bird Furious

      Quote

      Maybe I’m just a mean spirited person who just wants attention and for people to feel sorry for him.

      I feel the same way sometimes. Like tonight in particular, because of life reasons. 

      You’re not mean spirited. I had your soul for a minute, remember? Long enough to see that is was quite a wonderful one. You’re definitely not—you’re a great person. Promise.

    3. The Wandering Wizard

      The Wandering Wizard

      Thou are not dumb, thou art cool.

      Your thoughts are never a burden. To me the burden is myself and not feeling like I can connect with the person I am trying to help. I don't have this problem but I have this fear. And you have the fear that you are just a person who is hogging all the attention. You are not and you are definitely not mean spirited. From what little I've seen of your family, your parents are more focused on your siblings because they are the squeaky wheels. They are louder than you and noisier than you, so they get most of your parents attention. You do deserve attention because everyone needs someone to pay attention to them and to acknowledge that they are indeed there and that they are important to them. That is not being mean spirited and attention hogging, rather it is a natural and normal part of life.

  23. That1Cellist
    Can I have a general overview of your knowledge and advice?
  24. That1Cellist
    The term you might be looking for is Antisocial Personality disorder, Psychopathy, or Sociopathy. Those things aren't quite all the same, but it's similar enough.
  25. That1Cellist
    It depends on a lot of things, such as where the Library is, who and what comes with me, and various other things. However, I would say, in a vacuum, my answer to your question is yes. I would like to live in a library.
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