Elf

I have decided something. 

No longer will I let outside problems and drama impeach on my personal peace. I will not let toxic people (family members, usually in my case) suck up my energy. 

What I do with my day does not have to depend on other people's whims. 

I once read somewhere: Imagine the highest possible version of yourself...and then start showing up as her. 

That is exactly what I will do. I am going to start showing up as the person I want to be; I am going protect my peace and start being the best possible version of myself. 

That means sleeping every single night at 11pm and waking up every single day at 7am. It means going for an early morning run and eating a healthy breakfast afterwards. It means spending time on my skincare routine. lighting a candle and studying the best I can so I can get ahead and understand the syllabus better. reading like 4 books a week again and watching all the ghibli movies which I've been wanting to do for a long time. Reading all of Shakespeare and Poe.

It means breaking free of the shackles of the past and of the shackles of other's people expectations. Forgiving myself and being kind to myself. 

I've done bad things. I have made mistakes, numerous ones. But i can no longer beat myself up over it. 

Despite the negativity surrounding me, i will thrive. 

Waiting around for the kind of life i want to have will never get me anywhere. It is time to start building it. 

Wish me luck :))