Szeth Pancakes

Ew, what? TPBM is TPBM

Kelsier's mom

*wins in the great state of having family*

Hi there! This was inspired by Jello Apocalypse's movie review series. It's basically what it says on the tin - I'll be reviewing each of the cosmere novels, but I'll restrain myself to a limit of ten words. Then, I'll say more about my three favorites and three least favorites. Please read the below first. In addition to a ten-or-less word review, I will also be graciously providing you with a rating on a scale from one to ten. These ratings won't be from "Harmony-awful" to "Pretty good," like most things you see rated on a scale like this. Since I didn't dislike any books in the cosmere, I decided it would be more interesting to have 1 represent "pretty good," and 10 represent "the best book I've ever read." Remember that I enjoyed reading all of these books. This will be very controversial. All of the ratings I'm presenting here are subjective - meaning what I liked or didn't like, not what's objectively good or bad. Feel free to reply to my post and disagree (or agree! ) with me, just don't get too heated about it . Also, spoilers for the ENTIRE COSMERE. Don't read any of this, even reviews for books you've already read, if you haven't already read everything. Okay. Let's get started. ~~~~~ The Final Empire: A hero who's the villain of another story. 9/10 Rhythm of War: The story where he's the villain. 8/10 The Well of Ascension: Nothing really happens until the end. 3/10 The Hero of Ages: The classic girl vs. God story. 6/10 The Alloy of Law: Try this one weird trick and become a Coinshot today!!!!!!!! 5/10 Shadows of Self: *puts on Steris fan club t-shirt* 5/10 Bands of Mourning: OMG KELSIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8/10 Elantris: Politics and Zombies. 9/10 Warbreaker: Politics and Zombies 2: electric boogaloo. 7/10 The Way of Kings: A masterpiece of worldbuilding and character development. (Not plot, though.) 10/10 Words of Radiance: "I am a stick." Nothing else in this book matters. 6/10 Oathbringer: A slow burn, for people who like slow burns. 5/10 White Sand: Unremarkable. 1/10 ~~~~~ Okie dokie. Now, let's take a look at the top and bottom three (in true JelloApocalypse fashion!) Third Best - Elantris Elantris is the most under-rated of Brandon's books. While everyone was blathering on and on about Mistborn and the Stormlight Archive, I finished this book in one afternoon (while I was supposed to be doing homework). Sure, Brandon's writing has improved since he wrote it, and the characters could use some work. But the setting and the plot are just so compelling that I couldn't help but be dragged in. When people say this in book reviews, I often roll my eyes, but with Elantris, I really couldn't turn the pages fast enough. Third Worst - Oathbringer Ok, ok. Hear me out here. Oathbringer is a good book, objectively. But subjectively, it just wasn't my thing. The worldbuilding, which was why I'd loved tWoK, had been put on the back burner, and there really wasn't anything else that could fill that void. Maybe if it was faster-paced, it would've been better, but it wasn't - it moved at the same slow-burn type pace that tWoK and WoR had. Only this time, there wasn't any worldbuilding to fill in the gaps. The plot id did have was good, which kept it from being moved further down the list. Second Best - The Final Empire This one's a more conventional opinion. The Final Empire was my first Sanderson book, and it feels like it perfectly exemplifies who he is as an author. There's political intrigue, philosophical discussions, a gripping plot, and amazing characters. Kelsier really feels like one of those protagonists that's only the protagonist because there's a bunch of even worse people around. It feels like if he was in another story, he'd be the villain... oh, wait Second Worst - The Well of Ascension This book is just... slow. Nothing much really happens until the end. I still enjoyed reading it, but it's turned two of my friends off Mistborn, and I really wish that didn't happen. Most of the Final Empire is a heist novel, in essence. It drops that pretense about three-quarters of the way through the book, but that's just in time for the first pebbles of the Sanderlanche to start coming down on our heads. However, this becomes a bit of a problem in Well of Ascension. I signed up for a heist and political intrigue, and I got bland romantic tension, and a slow-going siege that just feels like it takes forever to resolve. Best - The Way of Kings The Way of Kings isn't too heavy on the plot. But it did everything else so well, I hardly noticed. It plunges you straight into this strange and wonderful world that's filled to the brim with secrets to unravel, the characters are three-dimensional and lifelike, and what little plot it does have is masterfully worked. This is one of those books that makes me wish I could just tuck all of my memories of it away in a coppermind and experience it for the first time again. Worst - White Sand I enjoyed reading White Sand. I don't really have a problem with the story or the characters. But that's honestly all it has going for it. It's just... unremarkable. I don't really know what else to say. ~~~~~ Sooooo, that's it! Let me know if you want one of these for non-cosmere novels or novellas or something else. I certainly had a fun time making it. byeeeee

*wins in the great state of being on vacation in Colorado, not living there*

I guess you’re right. … Should I make a meme thread?

Confusing. I thought you were Fadran for like a little bit. 8/10

Goddamnit, I hate it when this happens. yeah go ahead

*wins in the great state of Colorado*

Make sure to edit your posts instead of double-posting. The mods don’t like it when you do that.

That was not me, unfortunately. I think you’re thinking of @Robin Hatter.

I'm going to camp this until the cycle's over. I'm kind of wary about the way this is shaking out.

Scoot!

Nope and nope.

*wins in the great state of wanting to keep the oragne tag alive*

*wins in the great state of lots of posts all very close together*

I was thinking… what if if two people tied in reputation, they both won the day instead of it being random? (Or neither of them).

*wins in the great state of being scared*

I love your profile picture. Like, so much.

*wins in the great state of Tani being a demon*

*wins in the great state of thinking so too*

*necroes due to boredom* Referencing the WoR climax, of course.

Meanwhile, Hoid in drag on a horse

AND WHY ARE THERE NOW 1,224??????!

*wins in the great state of “it’s happened to all of us”*