Quivil

uh

hi

maybe I'm back

maybe not

I don't know yet

Okay so. I have two options. 

 

1: live in my college town for the summer, it would be $775 plus utilities (about $25/month) for the full summer. I'd have to pay for my own gas and buy my own food. I would continue working my current job, which doesn't have very regular hours, but it pays pretty well. I would also want to get a more regular job, maybe at a thrift store or a coffee/drink shop or a cute little local restaurant. I would be near a lot of my college friends, so I could do things with them and continue wearing my less "modest" outfits and going by a more gender-neutral nickname sometimes and using multiple pronoun sets and just in general continue figuring myself out in that way.

 

2: move back in with my parents. Free housing, free food, they'd probably even pay for my gas, I'd already have a regular, well-paying job that I mostly enjoy lined up, and I could try out for a production of Aida that would also pay. But I would either have to act like the version of me that my parents knew from when I was in high school, or let them meet this version of me when I'm not even sure I like this version of me and I'm actively trying new things to figure myself out. I know everyone is always a "rough draft" of themselves, but my current draft feels especially rough, and I don't feel ready for my parents to see it. There have already been times just over phone calls where it's felt like my parents and I are on the brink of a breaking point regarding my identity, and if I live with them over the summer it'll be even more difficult. 

 

However, my program is also next year incorporating travel opportunities, so next year I could travel with a faculty mentor to New York, and the following year to London. I would, however, have to pay my own way. So, saving money by going home would be really helpful for that. But is it worth it if I would be living a lie all summer??

 

Oh and I need to decide by Tuesday, because the girl whose lease I'd be buying if I stay needs to know by then.

 

Any input/advice is welcome, lmk if you have any questions lol

Okay so. I have two options. 

 

1: live in my college town for the summer, it would be $775 plus utilities (about $25/month) for the full summer. I'd have to pay for my own gas and buy my own food. I would continue working my current job, which doesn't have very regular hours, but it pays pretty well. I would also want to get a more regular job, maybe at a thrift store or a coffee/drink shop or a cute little local restaurant. I would be near a lot of my college friends, so I could do things with them and continue wearing my less "modest" outfits and going by a more gender-neutral nickname sometimes and using multiple pronoun sets and just in general continue figuring myself out in that way.

 

2: move back in with my parents. Free housing, free food, they'd probably even pay for my gas, I'd already have a regular, well-paying job that I mostly enjoy lined up, and I could try out for a production of Aida that would also pay. But I would either have to act like the version of me that my parents knew from when I was in high school, or let them meet this version of me when I'm not even sure I like this version of me and I'm actively trying new things to figure myself out. I know everyone is always a "rough draft" of themselves, but my current draft feels especially rough, and I don't feel ready for my parents to see it. There have already been times just over phone calls where it's felt like my parents and I are on the brink of a breaking point regarding my identity, and if I live with them over the summer it'll be even more difficult. 

 

However, my program is also next year incorporating travel opportunities, so next year I could travel with a faculty mentor to New York, and the following year to London. I would, however, have to pay my own way. So, saving money by going home would be really helpful for that. But is it worth it if I would be living a lie all summer??

 

Oh and I need to decide by Tuesday, because the girl whose lease I'd be buying if I stay needs to know by then.

 

Any input/advice is welcome, lmk if you have any questions lol

I found these in my clipboard.

I may have written this one, it sounds like something I maybe did: "It broke. It broke and I cannot fix it. I cannot build it, I cannot break it again. I cannot name what is broken, I only know that it Is and I will never know how to mend it again." Did I steal it and forget I stole it?

I'm sure I didn't write this one, it doesn't sound like me (it's too good) and I have not even a vague memory of writing it (or something similar) like I do with the other one: "One day the world will be too much for me. Too big. Too vast. I will be unable to stomach it. I will take my first sip of despair and I will watch as the light in my chest goes out. I will keep living, knowing what it once was like to be hopeful."

If one or both of these are yours, or you might know whose they are, please tell me?

How's everyone doing? 

Tell me one hard thing from this year, and two good things :))

For me, I had a hard time managing my time and actually having time for myself, so I got pretty burnt out at times.

But two good things are:

1: I've been in four shows this year, and they've all been super fun, and I've made a ton of progress in my acting both in those shows and in my classes!

2: I've gotten closer with my cohort, closer with some of my other friends, and been able to keep in touch with the friends that I'm now kinda far away from!

How bad could this be...

Happy birthday Tani!

 

Heyy, happy birthday!

If I was good at piano, I would fuse Jiyuu no Tsubasa with Shinzou wo Sasageyo and create the Paradis National Anthem.

 

too bad I suck

I could probably count on my hands

all of the things I did today

Instead of being one to understand

I'm the kind of guy who takes away

the world from other people

because they think I need it more

It doesn't matter than I'm less than null

they think I have great things in store

 

But I don't

that should be obvious

I'm tired of growing up and fighting on

And I won't

make any promises

just so I can keep on breaking them upon

the hearts of people I've betrayed

I'm curious.

What's everyone dressing up as for Halloween?

And if you're not dressing up, why not?

Names update:

who wants to do a Creative Minecraft server

• Does anyone else remember learning about the American Gilded Age's Captains of Industry? About the lack of child labor laws, unhealthy working conditions, low wages, highly treacherous factories; back when the billionaires kept getting richer because they funded the politicians willing to turn a blind eye to their unethical means of wealth, convincing themselves that the money would "trickle down" to the poor and that really this was best for everyone? Back when they were pumping tonnes of gaseous waste into the atmosphere; back when women and foreigners and people of color were treated as less than human; back when workers had no choice but to go on strike and starve for days as the only alternative?
  • Man. I'm so glad we put those days behind us.
• We should mandate all-gender restrooms. That may sound stupid but it isn't because we should also mandate stalls that go from floor to ceiling with locks that work and amenities for all walks of life readily available.
  • And remove urinals altogether, because men are incapable of wielding them properly.
• Are there any bona-fide Professional Mathematicians around anymore? Like, just people who pour all their time and effort into finding patterns in numbers so that all other Mathematicians and no one else can appreciate them?
• Why do we still have popcorn at the cinema? Why not something quiet to eat, that doesn't stick in your teeth or dry your mouth to a crisp two-thirds the way into the movie? Why not, like... boba pellets? Or grapes?
• "Fellowship of the Ring at 99% strength" you fool, each member is exactly 1/7th of the total strength, and I can explain at length why that is. 99% is after the journey's over and Frodo's lost one of his fingers.

guys help I accidentally remade the alphabet to include 8 Basic Characters with a total of 15 variations

Can I… can I get some hugs?

please

I feel like I should talk, but I don’t know how or what I would say. 

 

Can I… can I get some hugs?

please

I feel like I should talk, but I don’t know how or what I would say. 

 

Oh hey btw if anyone happens to be an absolute MC Redstone genius and know exactly how to make a fully-automated Pokemon-style TCG system then lmk

 

So I saw that Fadran pointed out that X's ex Branding is probably in or around the public domain, so now it is time to ask ourselves:

What will we work on and brand as Twitter?

My Ideas, so far:

1. Ornithology Forum
2. We rename the 17th Shard, Twitter for the Time to Come Clean Anniversary

heyyyyy

guess whattt

im alive again

wheeee!

 

Also, college. Adulting is hard and annoying and I know, first world problems. Still tho.

Why are people scary, and why is doing homework different now than it was in high school?

Fact: Microsoft is stupid

I can't open Minecraft because the Microsoft Store isn't up-to-date. I can't update the Microsoft Store because the option to do so is missing. I can't repair this problem because I don't have access to the admin account.

No one uses Microsoft Store. We have Standards. I couldn't care less about any of the problems this pointless app has if it didn't screw with my other things.

okay, who the crap has been upvoting all my RP posts

Bye.

Not sure how long but. Yeah.

Idea: A character who really wants to swear but feels like they shouldn't, so they come up with clever ways to circumvent this barrier

• "Aw, bucket - I'll do it myself'
• "Sand of a witch!"
• "Buttersucker"

Feel free to add to this list