So it seems to me that you are saying that although these characters are having issues they should push past these because they have bigger things to deal with, Is that correct?
I think that one of the things that SA addresses is that this is impossible, people can’t just ignore what is a fundamentally part of them, that they need to do the work and try to overcome these things. And sometimes they fail but that’s ok. But whenever they try to ignore them it breaks them
Shallan has tremendous mental problems, she tries the best to deal with them in whatever way she can, either ignoring them or making jokes belittling them. When this doesn’t work she’s lost and needs help, she’s incapable of doing what needs to be done. These cause bad things to happen, but I don’t see how you can blame her for trying her best. But as always the most important thing is that she bounces back every time.
I see your opinion and understand it, it is very frustrating when Kaladin gets in his own way (The Duel in WoR for example) but that’s part of their journey to be able to do what needs to be done, something that would be impossible to do by simply ignoring what is fundamentally a part and problem with them.