Ah, a writer!!
Oh, I know writing is hard. Especially when it's your first time, that is completely accurate.
Anyways, on to the story.
What to say?? It was amazing!!! I like how you hinted at stuff, and explained things through character experiences and conversations in world to less knowledgeable characters. Your effort was worth it though!! You say this is your first time writing??? From what i see, first time writing jobs usually have severe punctuation and grammar issues, as well as storytelling issues, but far as I can tell, you have none of that, it's amazing, mate!!
I'm excited to hear more about this story, and I'm so happy you've decided to try out one of my favorite forms of expression!
Welcome to the writing scene