Going_North_cal

great lets add undereating to the list of things that are wrong with me

undereating causes problems, the undereating is most likely bc the meds im on for ADHD dont work like they should, the ADHD meds dont work like they should bc they’re a stimulant and i have autism too and that causes problems, and dont even get me started on what i think could be C-PTSD (suspicion only, im not a professional and im not diagnosed) stemming from whatever happened as a kid and the five years of gut health issues, which has completely screwed me over emotionally (the suspected C-PTSD has), which means its JUST MORE PROBLEMS, because i cant cry and i cant do any big emotions and part of that is probably the autism, im constantly exhausted, i don’t remember the last time i ACTUALLY felt rested, like woke up and didnt groggily turn back over and go to sleep type rested, ive had HORRIFIC bags under my eyes for at least 2-3 weeks, i swear my small hand tremors have been getting worse or maybe i just notice them now that im more aware of them, the worlds going to rust, my president is an utter moron, and its all just GAHGG

im technically in a healthy weight range, 6 ft tall and ~145 lbs, like a 19.4-19.7 range on the BMI. low for the healthy range, with minimum at like 18.6 or something, but im not anorexic. 

oh oh oh AND i have no when i am or am not masking somehow, which means extra exhaustion randomly bc of that, oh boy oh boy.

gghgg. genuinely wondering how im going to survive on my own. because im screwed.