The Nuatoma was his cousin(I think could have been his uncle), also he was a warrior at first so him becoming a cook means at least one brother died that he accepted in the way your speaking. Also why would he reject his place, but also refuse the place he was at? That just doesn't make sense.
Because he doesn't talk about it? So we have an addict, a man who almost, ah, went skydiving with no parachute, one of the last members of an entire nation, and the dude that doesn't talk about his dead siblings is the most broken. He is struggling, I will give you that but, to say that he is the most broken is rather dismissive of the other members of Bridge 4.