Lunamor

Hiya!

I wish for a wish.

Jenny turned towards Roy, still smiling. “The city really is pretty from up here.” Her lifeless eyes scanned the room, eventually falling on Edgar. Sorrow flickered in them as she saw that Ed had fallen to his knees. She meandered over to him, her body going through the motions like it was on autopilot. Her uncanny smile had faded slightly. When she spoke, it sounded like someone had started to play an audio clip halfway through. ”Pretty from up here.” She was looking at Ed, not the window. She then sat down next to him, movements somehow both jerky and smooth. A white-hot hatred seared her mind. @Weaver of Lies

Jenny stood up and walked over to the window, standing right in front of it. She looked down through it with a smile. ”The city really is pretty from up here.”

Jenny didn’t move, staring blankly forwards. Her eyes had gone glassy.

“You don’t know that. You don’t know how I feel better than I do. I won’t stop loving you. It’s too late to make that go away.” She took that hug as a sign that he still loved her. She still had a fighting chance. Jenny desperately wanted to hug Ed again, but he probably wouldn’t be comfortable with that. She unconsciously hugged herself instead.

“Leaving hurts me! This relationship hasn’t been hurting me, but I know for a fact that I’ll be hurt by it ending.” Jenny clung to Ed tightly, not wanting to let go. He didn’t seem to understand how much she loved him. By this point, she was shaking. She was going to end up alone again. Her next word was half sob. ”Please.”

“I don’t care if it hurts me. I just want to stay with you. I love you. Love is what matters.” Jenny spoke earnestly. She scooted slightly closer to Ed. She didn’t touch him or get in his personal space; she just wanted to be near him. Just in case she never got that opportunity again.

“It’ll hurt me if I ignore what you want. I don’t wanna ignore what I want, either. I love you. I want you to be happy.” Jenny tried to shove down the feelings of hopelessness Ed’s words elicited. She couldn’t give up. She couldn’t let him sink into this dark place. He needed help, and it didn’t seem like anyone else was able to do that right then and there.

“It matters. Both people have to want to be in a relationship for it to be real, I think. The last thing I want to do is force you to do something you don’t want to do, anyways.” Jenny heartbeat was incredibly fast, faster than it was even during the rush of battle. She was terrified that Ed would say no. Terrified that she’d be alone. Terrified that she’d get what she deserved.

“It’s ok.” Jenny sat there quietly for a moment, unsure of what to do. She was worried that anything she said might make things worse again. Silence might also make things worse, though. ”Do you want to stay together? We don’t have to. We can start over, if you want.” Please say yes. Please don’t leave. Jenny looked at Roy incredulously. That was a wildly insensitive thing to say, even for him.

Jenny immediately tried to grab his arm to stop him, then yank the flower out of his hand. She made no attempt to be gentle. Stupid, stupid Jenny. She’d handed him a deadly poisonous flower. Death followed her everywhere. It was no wonder people were scared of her. They should be scared.

He wasn’t hurting himself because she was back. There had to be something more she could do. Maybe she could start everything over again. Go back to the very beginning. Jenny grabbed a flower out of her bag, then wordlessly slid it across the floor to Ed.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jenny saw plants of some sort sprouting. She tried to keep facing away, but couldn’t. It was so hard to stay away. She risked a glance over her shoulder and saw that Aaron was covering the crack in the window. Ed was looking at that and crying. Had he… oh no. Was staying away not enough? Was she hurting him by leaving? She’d hurt him by staying, too. No matter what she did, she’d hurt him. But she couldn’t just watch him hurt. She walked back over to Ed and sat down. She was barely in arms reach and didn’t look at him directly. This way, she could grab him if he tried to do anything. @Weaver of Lies @Scars of Hathsin

“Please don’t hurt yourself.” This was her fault. Jenny was hurting Ed. She had to stop him. There was only one way she knew how. She stood up, quickly backing away. ”I’ll… I’ll leave. Just please don’t do that.” She couldn’t run. She was on a quest. The other questmates were relying on her, the world was relying on her. Jenny couldn’t flee. So she instead scrambled over to a place as far as she could get from Ed while still staying in the general area. She sat down facing away from him, knees pulled up against her chest and tears flowing freely.

“But I don’t want anyone else! I want you. I need you.” Jenny had never been able to truly convince Ed that he wasn’t a burden. So she probably couldn’t do it now. He was going to leave her, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Tears started streaming down her face. The crack forming in her heart was echoed in her voice. ”Please don’t abandon me.”

“What? Why? That… that doesn’t make sense…” Ed was breaking up with her. Jenny didn’t understand why. They both loved each other, made each other happy. Was Ed lying about still loving her just to spare her feelings? Ed didn’t lie. But it didn’t make sense if he wasn’t lying. She’d done something wrong. What had she done wrong? She was Jenny. That was what was wrong.

Jenny glared at Roy for a moment more, then turned back to Ed. “There isn’t anything to be sorry for. None of this is your fault.” Ed was crying. She was making him cry. He felt bad for inconveniencing her. She hadn’t done a good enough job of telling him otherwise. Her voice quieted and shook slightly. ”Please listen to me. I love you. I help you. You help me. That’s what people do when they care about each other.”

Eza internally groaned. Lum had already tried this strategy before. Challenging that police guy to a game had accomplished nothing. They were still fugitives whom the constabulary was searching for. There wasn’t anything that could prevent this glowing guy from breaking his word like the policeman had. There must be something iffy going on in Lum’s mind. It was like they were incapable of learning anything. She supposed that if you could cheat at life, you didn’t need to worry about failure. That was really rusting annoying. And stupid. Everything about this was stupid. Lum was being stupid, their plan was stupid, and Eza being there in the first place was stupid. She wandered closer to the ring toss. Lum was leaving their fate to a series of children’s games. Eza held up her koloss plushie and realized that she was matching the perturbed expression on its face. With some effort, she reverted back to a look of wide-eyed curiosity. @Stormlightsong @TheFrugalWizard

Sorry. Ed was always sorry. It hurt Jenny whenever he apologized for being in pain or struggling. None of this was in his control. She whispered to him. ”Please don’t be sorry.” Jenny’s head snapped towards Roy. He was always looking for excuses to bully Ed. This one was clearly a stretch, so thankfully it didn’t seem to hurt Ed. ”Leave him alone.”

Jenny hugged Ed tightly. He was talking, he was ok. She wasn’t going to lose him. She hated that he kept scaring her like this, then immediately felt guilty about that. It wasn’t his fault. ”You were shaking really badly.” She didn’t break the hug, holding Ed like she was trying to keep him from blowing away in a windstorm.

“Ed?!” Jenny immediately roughly shook Ed, trying to snap him out of it. Had something been wrong with the flowers Aaron had used? Maybe he was allergic. What did you do for an allergic reaction? It could be a seizure, too. She didn’t know what to do for that either. Were allergy seizures a thing? Jenny frantically looked at Aaron, her eyes wild and panicked. @Scars of Hathsin

Jenny smiled gratefully. Ed really needed this. ”Thank you!” It was unfortunate they were running low on healing supplies. They might need to stop by a plant nursery or something for Aaron. She scooted away slightly to avoid accidentally taking up some of the healing magic. Her bruises were only an annoyance, so fixing them would be frivolous. @Weaver of Lights

Who had Aaron been speaking to? Maybe he had a voice in his head like Jenny did. Her voice hadn’t bothered her for a while. She avoided thinking about it more than that, any further thoughts slipping away like motes of dust through grasping hands. He was slumped forwards and whimpering. That wasn’t good at all. Was he scared or in pain? Both? Jenny was getting worried. ”Are you ok?”