For your first question, the English sentence is phrased correctly. Including a reference to the person doing the action in that context is required, which can be a pronoun. In your fan fiction, everything on the first page follows the pronoun rules for verbs correctly.
For the second question, I think that Calima is a beautiful name! It would work well to leave it as that, in my opinion.
I may add some additional suggestions later if I have time.