Ashspren

I’m back, everyone! Hope you’ve all had a great week. I like this idea! Let’s go for it. ~~~ Group 1: @Paranoid King, with Tillaume! @BitBitio, with Shai! ~~~ Group 2: @Herowannabe, with Rock! @Felt, with Adolin! ~~~ You all have 48 hours to post. Good luck, everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Great question! My friends and I teasingly roast each other all the time. One day, @Ishar and I started insulting some of the characters that the other person liked... “Why do you like Adolin? He’s a terrible character, and screws up so many times without facing retribution. I mean, he’s just like...” “Okay, he’s beautiful and amazing. You’re just jealous. And you’re not one to talk. How do you like Zane? Seriously...” Additionally, another friend started reading The Way of Kings and said, “Hoid is the Roasting King. Like seriously.” At that time, I had just finished Mistborn: Secret History, and thought of all the insults Hoid and Kelsier gave each other. So it was decided: Cosmere Roasts. Despite this, I was still stuck on one thing. How would they be presented? Just exchanging one-liners wouldn’t be efficient with the time differences. I decided on raps. As an avid musician, I know that a lot of people despise rap music, and in many cases, I don’t blame them. But, raps are a fun way to add a beat to some random words. They’re fun to say out loud, too. Finally, I just threw everything together on the one place I knew I would have enough Cosmere-knowledgeable people: the 17th Shard! And of course, I made it a tournament, because competition makes everything better. (Yes, I’m that person. Yes, I am ignoring your sighs of exasperation. Participation trophies are for the weak.) So in conclusion, that is the extremely long story of how the Cosmere Character Roast Battle Tournament was brought about. If you read through all of that, I envy how good of a person you are, and your patience.

And the winner is... @BitBitio, with Shai! It was a very, very close round. I’m going be off the Shard for the next 6-7 days (and if I’m on, it will be limited), so I’m going to wait to start the next round of roasts. So, that concludes Round 1! Stay tuned, everyone!

Here’s the link... https://goo.gl/forms/ln55NTQcuttFR6KW2 VOTE VOTE VOTE!

@BitBitio? @Spacefaring Ferring? If you do not post within the next couple hours, I’ll have to hand the round to @John203. Sorry, guys. I have something special planned for the fifth tournament, so I’m thinking non-Cosmere for the sixth. Also, “potato in a minefield”... that’s a bad metaphor, a statement of truth, and an effective pickup line all rolled into one.

Not this time, but Doomslug would be GREAT. (I’ve only read the sample chapters, so no spoilers beyond Chapter 15...)

@John203, @BitBitio, @Spacefaring Ferring — your 48 hours is up. I’ll give you another 24, but please let me know if it isn’t possible for you to get your raps in.

And the winner is... @Felt, with Adolin! ~~~ Next up... @John203, with Hrathen! @BitBitio, with Shai! @Spacefaring Ferring, with Lightsong! Good luck everyone!

*hugs back* Thanks, Kid. Ouch, I'm sorry Silverblade. Hopefully you'll be able to find something... car troubles are the worst. *gives hug*

It if was up to me, I’d start a petition to make the Rosharan nobility participate in at least one rap battle... um, Stormlight 4 anyone? Here’s the link... https://goo.gl/forms/LpwFpZqhUllqElM72 VOTE VOTE VOTE!

I do indeed accept this hug. Also, the RWBY roleplay is awesome. I've only watched V6E1, and everything is spoilered, so nothing's ruined. Also, Ash is the best character. No bias. Hands down.

Okay, so this may seem kind of petty, but it’s actually been affecting me, unfortunately, and I’ve gotta get some thicker skin and get over it. Basically, there was this girl. She was a friend of mine for a very long time, and we were inseparable. Now, come this year, something, for some reason, changed. When she’s around other people, she acts like she doesn’t know me. But, when it’s the two of us, she still acts different than what it was before, just... different. Sometime after she changed, she found out that I hadn’t told her this “very important” secret. It turned out to be the fact that a very close friend of mine wanted to ask her out. He asked me not to tell anyone, so I said I wouldn’t. Case closed. I don’t ever go back in someone’s trust like that. However, she came up with some rules of “being best friends” and said that we had to tell each other everything. Then, she proceeded to poke into my social life, and after literally thirty seconds, she proceeded to tell me, “This is all you ever talk about. Why can’t we talk about something else?” For the entire three months after that, she didn’t talk to me. At all. I felt like this was kind of melodramatic. Now, throw an over enthusiastic friend into the equation. Like, look dude, I love you and all, and you’re like an annoying twin brother to me, but please please please stay out of this. He noticed that we were having problems in our friendship, and he is someone who I’ve always confided in. Unfortunately, he ended up telling her everything that I said about her. I didn’t say anything bad, but still, I wouldn’t want somebody to go around telling people what I say. It’s personal. His solution was to stage a conference call with the old friend and I, and have him acting as a mediator between us. I decided against it, because I didn’t want to get more people involved. I appreciate that decision more and more, now. I don’t want to blow this up. Now, add in the fact that she started insulting a close friend of mine. I don’t know if she’s jealous, but news flash to her: she’s the one who started acting different! Throughout this entire “distant” period, I’ve been trying to talk to her and just have a conversation, but she blows me off and essentially avoids me. Finally, the most recent part. I found myself thinking, “Nope. This is the end. Put on the Taylor Swift, because ‘the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now,’ and ‘we are never ever ever getting back together.’” “Hey, [Ashspren]! Yesterday was, like, the first time in four years that you haven’t come over! It’s almost tradition!” She didn’t invite me over. “Haha, yeah, stuff just got really busy.” The next day, via social media, I found out that she invited a bunch of other people over. I don’t know why this bothered me so much, because I knew everything was pretty much done, but it did. I think it was maybe the fact that she had the nerve to say, one day after all of those other people went over, that I hadn’t been there. It really just rubbed me the wrong way. Anyway, I realize that she’s actually a very toxic person to have in my life, but I still look back and see all of the good times from earlier in our “friendship days,” y’know? It’s just difficult to see the new person that she’s become. Again, this all seems really petty and not that serious compared to some other things on this thread (I’m sorry!), but I just needed to rant.

*crosses out Alethi* *replaces with Rosharan* Also, oof. Roasted. Sorry, Dalinar, but the flame is real.

And the winner is... @Herowannabe, with Rock! Next up: @Wyndlerunner, with Dalinar! @Felt, with Adolin! @Toaster Retribution, with Amaram! @ILuvHats, with Taravangian! Looks like the Alethi nobles are taking their insults to the next level... Good luck, everyone!

Here’s the link: https://goo.gl/forms/O46DNmeQMKPxmgWw1 VOTE VOTE VOTE!

And the winner is... @Paranoid King, representing Tillaume! ~~~ Now, for the next competitors... @Rhapsody, with Khriss! @I think I am here., with Nazh! @Herowannabe, with Rock! Good luck, everyone! 48 hours to get those in.

Don’t worry about specific hours, guys — I’m bound to be late anyway, so I’m just going off of roughly 2 days. Here’s the link! https://goo.gl/forms/0Ih7P5BL6XHPffMw2 VOTE VOTE VOTE!

Sorry that it's taken so long to get this off the ground, everyone! Things have been really busy IRL, but I'm here now. Without further ado, let's introduce our first round of competitors! @Sorana, with Breeze! @Ark1002, with TenSoon! @Paranoid King, with Tillaume! Good luck everyone! LET TOURNAMENT FOUR BEGIN!