LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian
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Everything posted by LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian
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Lopen ignored Leya. 'Wrong again. Now lead me out of here you foul smelling beast.'
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'No. I've quit my phone for a month to get more woke.'
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'WROOOONG SUCKAAA!'
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Lopen had no clue what was going on, so like Bilbo before him he shouted 'Time!' trying to ask for some, but in reality getting the right answer by mistake. Having run out of riddles, he decided to be a cremling. 'What do I have in my pockets, you sack of bones?' he exclaimed proudly, a devilish grin on his face.
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This one really stumped him, until the stench reminded him of it. 'Fish!' he exclaimed. No-legs lay on one-leg, two-legs sat near on three-legs, four-legs got some. Four-legs got some? he thought. If only I could pull that off.
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Lopen didn't know how, but he knew the answer without thinking, as if he had read about this before, but it didn't matter, since the answer surrounded him. 'Dark!' Now much more confident in his riddling skills he burst the next one out in a maddeningly quick chant. A box without hinges, key, or lid, Yet golden treasure inside is hid.
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'Wind.' The ancient creature was smarter than it looked. An eye in a blue face Saw an eye in a green face. "That eye is like to this eye" Said the first eye, "But in low place, Not in high place."
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The old sack of crem would probably be stumped by this. Thirty white horses on a red hill, First they champ, Then they stamp, Then they stand still.
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'Easy. A mountain. The old troll under the bridge I killed as a three year old was better at this than you,' Lopen taunted him.
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'Very well. You ask first.' Lopen had a riddle in mind, but it had an excellent innuendo in it, and he's already scared everyone in the RP chat with his last one. If Gollum asked a particularly hard riddle he'd Google the answer.
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Lopen heard Gollum and almost jumped out of his skin, and would have if he had any. What sort of creature was this? 'What are you?' he said, thrusting his trident in front of him.
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Lopen felt an object of great power in the caves beside him. He stowed away his trident and entered the caves. It called to him. It caressed his ear with its voice. He saw it out of the corner of his eye, a magnificent gold ring that was basking in the light of the noon sun. He walked over to it, but felt the splash of cold water on his feet. Unlike Bilbo he could swim, but for some reason decided against it, staying in place.
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Lopen grabbed Leya by the waist, pulled her in close, and they teleported to Roshar, Lopen standing right in front of Yzabet ( @I am Witless ) and Rhaizen ( @Mraize ), his trident sparkling in the Rosharan light.
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As the brain started becoming mush Lopen realised something. Leya wasn't his enemy. As the trident realised this it reversed its effects and healed Leya. Sorry about that, it mentally signalled Leya.
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Lopen was disgusted by Leya's behaviour. 'First you say no to my proposal, and now you stab me at my own funeral? Revenge is NIGH!' Lopen stabbed Leya through the eyes touching her brain, her brain decaying into mush.
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As soon as it touched the trident the dagger rusted into dust. It revealed its command to Lopen. It decayed all enemies of its master that it touched. And he was its master.
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'With a trident? Please my love. Its just a friend. Come over here and give us a hug.'
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Lopen saw Leya, and was confused. She was glowing red. Lopen realised something. He was looking at her in the cognitive realm. As he sunk his sight to the physical he noticed something. In Leya's place there was a magnificent crimson trident that bled black. As he walked over and picked it up he felt a drain on his power that he had only experienced once before, when he wielded nightblood. Lopen created a small stable perpendicularity on his palm to feed the trident when he wielded it, and smiled. Such power in the hands of a cognitive shadow of his omnipotence could have unimaginable consequences. Once the funeral was over it would be time to truly party.
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Ghost Lopen removed his head and used it as a ball in ethereal ten pin bowling. He then looked around and said 'Why is no one doing anything? Just because your writers have a life doesn't mean you can't do anything.'
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Lopen's ghost noticed that Nigel's suit was covered in a translucent white armour while his head was covered by a grotesque black and white helmet.
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Lopen whispered back in his best Jedi mind trick voice 'This is not the spleen you're looking for.'
