LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian
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Everything posted by LopenTheTwoArmedHerdazian
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Lopen teleported to Leya. 'If these two can get married, so can we. Will you marry me... em... you beautiful lady? Sorry, I've never met you before.'
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'Rhaizen my man, are you blind? I'm standing like a kilometre away with a loudspeaker!'
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'The DA doesn't pay, it provides. Sort of a freemasons thing. You mention order 77 subsection c to proprietors of any establishment in the multiverse and you get everything for free and VIP treatment.'
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Lopen took out his gift. A puppy. Simple, yet elegant. 'You may not have seen one of these before. It's from a poorly known universe. Think of it as a practice baby.'
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'If anyone has a sick spren or seon, take a dip in here. It's a shardpool lake of my own creation.'
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Lopen called the Lifeless to attention and showed them the special Aon Rao modifiers he had come up with a few years ago in case an order 77 arose. They all nodded and made these million special Aon Raos. The sky was graced by the most magnificent fireworks display the multiverse had ever seen. The sparks coalesced into magnificent shapes, until a waltz started playing and everyone stopped. The sparks simply formed a spotlight and started following the couple's gracious movements.
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Dalinar spoke. 'I unite them. You may kiss the bride and then i suggest everyone get drunk to Eleanor Rigby, followed by a special performance by DJ Frost.'
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Lopen used the tied particle on Mraize to return teleport him back to Sel, and placed a basically irremovable bow tie that blocked out all access to Investiture, including artefacts.
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Lopen returned Nei'an to his usual self, a self that could move.
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Lopen threw a bendalloy bomb at Tevarah, their temporal effects cancelling out. 'Sorry about that, but your fighting was very insensitive to the couple. Here are my tailors, they'll dress you. I need to deal with a little problem. Excuse me.' Lopen ran up to Nei'an using compounded steel, and used a technique he'd learned in the Fire Nation to block their chi, and also paralyze them from their neck down. 'If you behave, I'll free you. Are you going to behave?'
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Lopen's barman arrived. The man was a formidable sight, rising to 3m yet maintaining the grace of someone half his size. He brought his own infinite bar with him, one of the many reasons Lopen kept him on retainer. The party was just getting started.
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'Darling, we have a department for everything,' Lopen replied. 'We even have an interior design department. And a toy making department.'
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Dalinar- 'I was just told that the couple wrote their own vows? That makes my job easier.'
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Lopen quickly used Rosharan Analytica to steal the information from the minds of those in attendance to perfectly tailor their meal to them.
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'Excellent.' With a snap of his fingers Lopen summoned his Nalthian tailors who he had spiked with f and a speed and taught to compound. They had the couple and all in attendance dressed immaculately within minutes.
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Lopen screamed 'Order 77!' and grabbed Dalinar from the void.
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Lopen threw a cadmium bomb between Soul and Tevarah. 'That should last about an hour. Stop interrupting the couple guys.' A cadmium bubble enveloped the fighters, their figures frozen like flies in amber.
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Lopen lightly dabbed his eyes. 'Why are all these spren chopping invisible Shadesmar onions?' he asked the nearest Lifeless. The creature stood still, a bit of ichor trickling down his cheek.
