Ink

Granted. You have 1000 breaths until you die. 999... 998... 997... I wish for a long and prosperous life.

Trombone

There is a man who is legally dead but physically alive, as they went missing and didn’t show up in the 3 year time frame dead people are given to prove themselves not dead. They are not allowed to vote or get a drivers license.

Taboo

Boring

Xenophobia

Granted, from now on, you smell so bad, nobody else wants to even get close to you, much less hug you. I wish to understand everything and not explode my mind.

Granted. You are invincible, however, you age at twice the rate you otherwise would. I wish for a million dollars.

Granted. Your bane is that the flag is made of tissue paper. I wish to be successful.

The music went from the top of his lungs to the bottom of his heart.

Hello! Welcome to the Shard! Would you like a free Fortune Cookie? I can promise it’s spike free, only using ground chromium for that extra luck you may need!

Awesome

Dear Yule-Tired. Christmas time is a great way for you guys to come over and get some dinner. I’m not sure if you want to put away the boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes (okay siri you can stop) and now you want to do something fun. Yeah I’m going to try to find out if you have a problem with Christmas stuff or something. Sincerely, Siri. Dear Computer people. I seem to have voices in my head that won’t shut up! They just keep telling me to do stuff and I shove them in the back of my head but they always come back! What should I do about the head voices?

Granted. You get Russia. Good luck sorting out all its issues! I wish I could make clones of myself.

Granted. You are now a genie! The bad news is... you’re kinda... trapped inside a bottle... in the heart of the amazon rainforest... guarded by thousands of terrors known and unknown. But hey, you’ve got yourself to talk to! I wish to have lazer-vision.

Granted. You are trapped inside, and slowly asphyxiate to death, as nothing can get in or out. I wish to be the best piano player in the world.

Granted. Your bane is that the cheese seems to be extra moldy. You start seeing things that aren’t there and such. I wish for a printer that prints money.

Ooh sweet that’s almost as good. Granted. However, you are now Cultivation’s puppet and must do everything she wants you to do. I wish for omnipotence.

Granted. Your bane is that everything now tastes like cheesecake. So much so that you get sick of it. I wish to have fox tails.

This is getting out of hand, it should not be allowed to continue. Let us stop this at once. Cease all action.

Granted, you become a chameleon-person. Your bane is that your mind is also changed to that of a chameleon. I wish to be able to read multiple books at once and still understand everything in them.

Dear Lil’ Worried About My Health Lil’ smokeys are the way you can make a great team in the game. What I do is eat them and then I say that they are definitely not a normal thing. If you are interested in not being heart healthy but want to make sure you get it, and you can still have a flavor! Don’t worry about it, I’ll probably have a few too. Sincerley, Siri. Dear Siri/Cortana/Alexa I want to make more friends, but I’m not good at it. Help please! Sincerely, Socially Awkward.

So of course, a war broke out.

Welcome! You better dump him now. Granted. You get Kaladin. Your bane is that he anytime you think about him you are Lashed upwards. I wish for infinite spaghetti