JamesW

Welcome to the forums, we're friendly around here, and we can definitely answer questions (And probably give rise to two for every one we answer) If you want to just hang out with us and chat, there is the cosmere chat channel over on IRC, the thread with the information is here. There's almost always people online and can answer quick questions if you have them. Well, direction to new fantasy series is something we here can most certainly do. A lot of people have their own pet books, and series they like above many others. But I'll throw out a list of stuff I liked. First: The Wheel of Time, there is a big re-read going on in anticipation of the final book being released in January, you can still join up and participate in that if you want to, there is a thread in the wheel of time forum for it. The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss. First in a trilogy, and is a book that a lot of us here really like. The other Brandon Sanderson books, Elantris, Way of Kings, Mistborn, pretty much whichever ones you haven't read, you should do that. I personally enjoyed the Malazan Book of the Fallen series, though I know a lot of people didn't. Glen Cook's Chronicles of the Black company is a pretty good first person darker fantasy series. Terry Pratchett gets a lot of love around here, though I still need to read those books myself. Terra Incognita by Kevin J. Anderson is spectacular, as is the Acacia trilogy by David Anthony Durham. Brent Weeks wrote a really good debut trilogy, the Night Angel trilogy, which is a quick read but that was really enjoyable. Other then that, welcome to the forums, enjoy the waffles and watch out for... well, nah, other's will warn you.

Yo momma so fat, if Szeth lashed her upward Roshar would sigh with relief.

Doesn't seem to be crossing any lines, just some torture right?

I've mentioned before about Dalen's illness, but perhaps I could clarify a bit more. The next two chapters have another perspective, giving a lot more insight into the effects of the Fire, and how it effects an individual in combat. When I enter revision stage I'll try and clarify the two big concerns that people have, the out of the blue feeling of Dalen's illness as well as the fight scenes, and the lack of realism/tension within them. As usual thanks for the feedback! It's appreciated and it helps. One more note for you TSD, I realized the other day when I wrote a self-contained short story that if I plan out the entirety of what I'm going to write, the writing itself takes little to no time. I had a story idea for a DnD character, and wrote a backstory in short story form. It was something like 17 pages in a day, or 3000 words. I'm working my way through a more thorough outline for the entire book, so that when I get back into it the writing itself is much more efficient.

There is a very obvious quote from somewhere in the book, it mentions her waiting ten heartbeats. I do believe it was when she went with Jasnah and she soulcast the three people who tried to rob her. There was another mention of "Evidence of her sin" about her father, and I believe the implication was that she had taken it from (or used it to kill) her father.

Yo momma's so round, shadesmar thought she was another sphere. Yo momma's so fat, people hop on her back thinking she's a chull. Yo momma's so poor she tried using walnuts as spheres. Yo momma is the shelter in a highstorm. Yo momma tried being mistborn, but pushed the coins through the stone when she tried steelpushing. Yo momma so ugly, the best she could get was a Koloss. Yo momma so fat, the Kandra couldn't eat all her bones.

Forum badges are to be taken very seriously. Wouldn't you shorten your lifespan just so that you could get one of those awesome badges? I know I would.

Happy birthday windy!

If the only part you have issue with is the fight scenes, I find that more then acceptable. It's your expertise and not mine, so I count that as a win. Worldbuilding, description, interest, pacing, dialogue, those are my key focuses, if I suck at fight scenes now, I can come back to them after another 100k words and hope they turn out better.

That's a great suggestion, and thanks. I don't have a lot of experience, and I suppose I can't learn everything I want to do just through writing it. I very much do appreciate the advice. I'll look into it at some point, I didn't even know about a group like that, but thanks for it. I've had some limited practice with foam weapons, but nothing near what I want to be writing. I'm hoping that I'll get better at writing the scenes as I do more of them, so hopefully that is going to be the case. I'll look into one of those groups, and at least try and get a better idea about what I'm doing. JW

Thanks for the feedback Elwynn, I'll put a note in to add more on the setting come revision time. Ganril hiding in the manor is mostly from outside eyes, he isn't hiding from his friend. Next chapter that get's resolved, so there's only one person who is hiding. Also I might not have mentioned this, but the Assassin character wasn't hiding in the Manor, he was in an inn in the city, he just slipped into finish off the guard he had wounded earlier. Again, that is the lack of setting description coming through, but I'll work more of that into the book. For now the tightly confined nature of the story to this single location doesn't leave a great deal of description available that doesn't feel like it's in excess. Your comment about the fight scenes seeming clinical is spot on. It is either a characteristic of my inexperience as a writer, or it was completely intentional, given the nature of the combatants. That they're wielding blades which grant them a lot of innate ability lends to a clinical feel to their fighting, their main advantages coming from noticing weakness and evaluating the scene. I'm not certain if I just need more experience in writing these scenes, or if the feel of the blades, and how combat works that influenced me to write it in that way. JW

I was bored while cooking and wanted to try throwing together a Ketek. This isn't TWOK, but was inspired by mythos in my book I'm working on. Arising is he, father of blades. The ForgeMaster--Master forging the blade of fathers. He has arisen. Arising is he/ father of blades /The Forgemaster/Master forging the Blade of fathers/he has arisen

I already talked with you about a lot of this chapter in the IRC chat, but maybe a few other things I can add here. Firstly: I agree with what the other two posters have said. It feels very familiar, and while that isn't a bad thing, it almost feels 'too' familiar. If you're using this familiar and then are going to totally pull the rug out from under us, I'm all for that, but if this becomes predictable, or if the familiar stays much too familiar, there might be issues. I was totally jolted out of the story when you mentioned "since the shattering." I started wondering what was shattered, and what happened, and it seemed to me to be a much more interesting thing then a guy looking for a noblewomans lover. Overall I like the setting, I didn't get a feeling for the steampunkyness of the setting, but I know you were saying that it's there. I know you're blending the steampunk/fantasy setting, and have Trolls and elves and such, but the second reference about a Troll seemed a little forced. "Even the densest Jotunn bouncer" and "Even the most socially inept Troll." Those two lines seemed much too similar to me, so it felt like you were forcing the reference to a troll. Maybe you could say something like, "Even that socially inept troll in the corner, (description of how he's socially inept, at least visually), would have done a better job..." I don't know what adding a troll in the tavern would do for your story, but if he had a reason for making this reference it might help the flow.

Most of what Jack said I'll try to avoid repeating, but I agree with what he said. I enjoyed this chapter. I felt like I got a good idea of who the characters are and how they behave, and a bit about their personalities. I got (I presume) reminded of a conflict and a goal for Dais, so that is good. I also liked that I got a bit of recap from what happened previously, with the shifters. Seeing how that chapter effects the people here is interesting. I didn't get a feel for the setting of this scene. You are talking about Dais looking around at the huts, but then a few paragraphs later there is a swordsman who was talking with someone else? I didn't know who Senna and Kalimeris were, but that is probably just a consequence of not having read the earlier chapters. Minor typos: Page 8: "they had more then a change" probably meant chance Setting: I actually got more of a feel for the setting when the price for her help was a dagger. I dunno why but it gave a feeling of value on weapons, and that the weapons themselves had a higher then usual value. (I mention this because one of my key setting elements in the fact that there is very little metal in the world except for what arrives as meteorites, and the weapon being valuable is intriguing) I got the part about the enormous beast, but I dunno what it looks like. I was trying to picture anything from an elephant to a stegasarous and I couldn't get a feel for what it looked like. I know it howls, but I wouldn't mind a bit of a visual description. Story: I really liked that the two had just decided to become brother and sister, and it was a "everything is working out" and then the next thing is a sudden scream. I liked the transition, but it felt... a bit contrived? Or a bit abrupt? It seems like something I'd see in a movie, and while it isn't bad, it raised some red flags for me because of how sudden it was. If even a paragraph seperated the two events it might work better, but just food for thought. I felt from the beginning that Dais was standing there casually and observing, and that he was in some form of authority. How does Dais know that Kalimeris had sent out scouts? Why is he watching the swordsman, and for that matter who is the swordsman conferring with the slimy man? I don't know who Senna and Serissa are, but again, newcomer to the story, but I worry about the naming. The two characters start with Se for their name, so if they're in the same scene, they should be really well established where they are, and what they're doing so as to be distinguished from one another.

Thanks for the feedback Asmo, I'm still writing up the responses to the two submissions this week, I've been a bit swamped with moving back to school and all. Just a few comments: The illness is only life-threatening because they both believe he has this illness. He might not be actually sick, but he believes he is, and if a certain group of people discover that he is indeed sick, they'll ritually kill him. Dalen is intentionally more adept at fighting then many of his peers, his dedication comes from the aforementioned "illness" that he believes he has. He has other advantages that give him an edge, but he isn't immortal. The Alkeri are just tribal people with a wide variety of weapons, each tribe has their preferred weapons but the variety of weapons gives them a lot of their prowess. And the drug is one of his flaws, its part of his struggle. The reason given for the society to not feel pity is given in the religion, but it is grounded in something much more practical. The planet itself used to have a fairly normal, day/night cycle, but a cataclysmic event caused a sudden shift. The days/nights became roughly 300 days each, and as a result mankind was almost completely wiped out, there was very little shelter capable of housing people safely during the 4 months out of the year where the surface became uninhabitable. The "culling the weak" was a survival thing, if a person didn't pull their weight they weren't worth saving. That was several thousands of years before this, and as such they've adapted to their strange system of day/night and are much more able to survive.

A lot of us enjoy writing excuses, and have learned a lot from it about writing. Some just enjoying reading things about the techniques that writers use. This will hopefully end up as a collection of other sources for people to access if they want other advice on their writing. Some topics addressed by Brent Weeks (Night Angel Trilogy) about all sorts of writing things. Writing-Advice David Farland (The Runelords) has a set of posts that might help some people Daily Kick in the Pants Ira Glass on Storytelling Motivational Video Random Advice for writers Overcoming Writer's Block Write About Dragons The site that collects all of Brandon's 2012 lectures from his creative writing class. Feel Free to post any other links people have found helpful and I'll add them to this post.

I'd like to announce that tomorrow I'll be driving 450 miles to Los Angeles to return to school for my last two quarters before I get my Bachelors!

Hey bobby, welcome to 17th shard. Adonalsium is the "creator" or the father of the universe figure. Nobody really knows exactly what form this being/entity took, but think of universe creator and that might be a good answer. "Shards" are the pieces that Adonalsium shattered into. Ruin/Preservation in mistborn are two of the shards. Odium, Honor, and Cultivation are the Shards on Roshar. The other shards are on other worlds in Brandon's Cosmere. Lightweaving is an unknown ability, which will show up in his Dragonsteel series. That has information regarding other unpublished works. People figured a lot of this out through speculation, and analysis of the works themselves. Other answers come from actually asking Brandon about these things, he has answered some or a lot of these things. Hope this helps!

against the Robot

Thworples that revolted

The waffles have spikes in them!! Beware! Oh and welcome, you will be assimilated into the hivemind...

Finished it today!

Submitted this early because of no internet access tomorow. These are the first two chapters after the prologue. They are set 23 years after the prologue, which introduced two characters who appear here. For reference: Tosganril is Ganril, and Kellanath is Lanath, from the prologue chapter, the names change when they are leaders of their house. The name Lanath has fantasy expectations (Lan) but the nickname Lan doesn't appear here, nor is the character a tall stone faced figure. This runs around 5900 words, hopefully not too much longer then acceptable, enjoy! Summary: Prologue: Ganril and Lanath are young men, Ganril is betrothed to Lanath's sister Relia. They find a twinblade, who serves the emperor, who has killed Relia and her servants. They fight and kill the twinblade because of an injury inflicted by Relia. The two swear a vow against the emperor as he is the only one who could have ordered a twinblade to attack them.

Most of my review is "stream of thought" just stuff I noticed as I read through it. Sorry it isn't as organized as everyone else's! I still enjoy listening to Dex, he still reminds me of Bartimaus, but that might be because I'm looking for it, and that was my initial feeling about him. I laughed when Keth fell, it feels like he is a bit clumsy but I like that he isn't perfect. I like that we're getting a better feel for the magic system in this chapter. I'm not certain that I understand entirely how things work, but I get a great feeling for, okay, elements, personalities that reflect element, move on and figure it out later. Ohhh emotion from the Grumr, I like it. That small reference to the bag added a whole lot of character, more like that would be great. It felt a little infodumpy with the cheshires, I felt that something along the lines of show instead of tell would go well here. I'm still wondering about the reason for the Grumr to help Keth and the girl, but that might have just been me missing something. Oh, there are some explanation, I guess being patient was good. The idea of downloading from her memory was great, probably an aspect of their linked magics that helps connect the characters. This seemed to draw to a very satisfying conclusion, I very much enjoyed the three characters and how they interacted. Things I liked: All of the things I listed above, and your style. The voice of the characters was very distinctive and I could easily tell whose perspective we were in at each time, even without the not at the beginning about which perspective were in. I'm curious where the story is going, I don't know who the big bad enemy is, except for the MIA, who I see as a shadowy corporation that is going against those who practice magic. I wonder if it is too early to reveal who the main enemy is, because I haven't gotten a feel for it just yet. The magic systems seem to be identifiable, he uses summons, she scripts things, multiple things at the same time. I still haven't identified costs, although the summoner having potential to go insane seems like a sufficient cost. I wonder if there is more other then the binding of summons. I would like to see more of the Grumr's magic, I don't see how they hunt summoners as they do but I'm sure we'll find out why they are set up to defeat summoners' magic. The stuff posted by Asmo I agree with. I wasn't as thrown out by 'was and 'had' but I did get thrown out by an adverb somewhere. I've been avoiding them like the plague in my writing, so maybe I'm just more aware. I also didn't like the use of 'likely' but that's just a personal taste problem. Keth did ramble when he talked, he also should have kept more back from the Grumr. It works as setup, but unless he always talks like this, it feels a whole lot like "Let's get all of these thoughts out to setup the characters before the real story." The infodump on Cheshires was problematic, noting that they can shift their bodies is enough, their society problems can come later.

So I finished TGH last night, and I have to say, this is still one of my favorite books in the series. I enjoy seeing the characters start to branch off and do their own thing. I enjoy the hints that Min drops, even this early, and is something that I didn't get on my first reading. I also never caught the reference to "Our master" between Liandrin and Suroth... I never picked it up so when a reveal comes later on in the series, it was actually a surprise. I remember reading the "Sheathing the sword" comment early, and that felt like pretty weak foreshadowing, even though it was very important to the story it still didn't feel very subtle. I can't pinpoint why, but I loved the sequence with Ingtar. The reveal regarding him was indeed foreshadowed quite subtly, and I enjoyed it, even knowing what was coming. His noble act at the end, and his redemption was one of my favorite scenes in any of the books. Also, seeing Masema, and knowing exactly where he is going to end up later is fun. There is an entirely new perspective on these books that comes to light when you know almost exactly what is going to happen later, and it is quite fun. I wonder how many of these hints RJ put into the books, and then decided to payoff later, and how many were just throwaway comments that he realized he had written in 5, or even 6 books before. It speaks a great deal for the planning that went into these books, and the amount of detail that was probably present in the outline and grand design.