JamesW

Welcome, be sure to taste the waffles, they promise to be very spikey and covered in tasty spikes. Enjoy and be welcome among us, we are legion...I mean friendly...

I would say that the presence of the two forsaken who were walking the world let the Dark One strengthen his assault on the land, namely advancing the blight. With the deaths of the two agents in the world, his need to consolidate power became greater then his need to corrupt the land. I'd say that his ability to influence the world was lessened with two of his agents killed. Perhaps it takes some form of power to corrupt land, and once that power is redirected the corruption can't be sustained, nor can spring be held in abeyance by his power. Also I think the cutting of the connection to the Dark One might have been the same thing he did later, but with Ishi it didn't become relevant because he was slain shortly after that, and thus returned to the power of his master.

I liked the foreshadowing from min, where she sees "A severed hand" in Rand's future and says "See, it doesn't make any sense" or something along those lines.

I'll have a chapter polished up for Monday as well if there is room. If I recall last week there was only one submission? And Aminar I'll give your stuff a review this weekend sometime, been a bit busy. Edit: I have 2 chapters, together they run a little over the 5k limit, but only by about 900 words. I'll include them both and hope it isn't too terribly much.

My dad is a 63 year old Vietnam veteran who ran drugs for the Hells Angels, he has his share of mental issues too. Oh and his brother was a member of the FBI's anti drug task force, no love lost there. Oh and one of my mom's brothers is now homeless, we dropped him off at the river (where all the homeless live) on Tuesday following a drunken comment he made regarding my little sisters. In a single afternoon he got hit twice and had a gun barrel put in his mouth. The next day my mom picked him up and put him in a shelter. Don't feel bad about your family! Or rather feel a little less bad!

Sorry to hear that sweet, my girlfriends family complains about not having money, but they spend twice as much on food that is organic because the government is trying to kill is with genetically altered food and store produce gives everyone cancer. My mom has no money to get her car fixed, but if it doesn't start she calls a quack drug attict mechanic to "fix" it. If there is a problem with the car, and it is making noise she turns the country music up until the noise is gone. She blew up two cars and a tow truck within three weeks once when I was a kid...and i dont think a car has had a scheduled oil change in my lifetime. Oh and if a car has tags that are out of date, no worry we'll go to the computer and print more. And, this is no joke, once she got pulled over for driving with tags, made out of orange construction paper and drawn on with a sharpie. The cop was laughing so hard, he only gave her a ticket for not having a license or insurance, and said he had never seen something so ridiculous. And Sweet, I'm 21 too and sometimes I think I ought to be the parent...

I don't understand how she was able to "feel" them. Unless there is some lingering connection left from the coins?

Sounds good, I'm in.

So I just finished Eye this morning, and I have to say, I forgot how well done the book was. It was certainly a great setup for the rest of the series, but was also self contained enough to be a great first novel. Knowing where these characters are going to end up might make it a whole lot better then it was the first go round I wonder how Moraine was able to find the boys even after they lose their coins. I don't recall that ability arising later on in the series. There were probably others but I don't remember them off the top of my head, anyone else notice this?

Your post is slightly difficult to understand, but I'll try to give you an answer. The Kandra propegated through new spikes, that gave sentience to mist creatures, creating new Kandra. These spikes were provided by TLR, and as such was a form of propegation. The Inquisitors wouldn't "propegate" so much as create new ones. The new ones were created by spiking mistings or mistborn. I'm uncertain if the spikes could be "reused" to create a new inquisitor, but I don't know for certain. As to your last question, I believe you misunderstand how Feruchemy works. Both Allomancy and Feruchemy can be given to a person via Hemalurgy. Hemalurgy is of Ruin so maybe this is what you meant. In HoA Marsh taps speed, a Feruchemy ability, implying that he had been given that power of Feruchemy through Hemalurgy. Hope this helps!

There are numerous threads that have mentioned this. These are common questions/theories that arise. http://www.17thshard...s-hoid-and-syl/ This is a thread with some stuff about Hoid, as well as some spren discussion. I just read a thread discussing the other three men, but I believe one of them Captain Demoux, the captain in the Mistborn Series. I forget who the other is but I'll try and find the thread. Also, Yes Hoid is a worldhopper, he uses Shadesmar to traverse between worlds. He has appeared in all of the books relating to the cosmere. In Mistborn he was a beggar/informant. He is Wit in Way of Kings. He makes an appearance in Elantris, as well as in Warbreaker. I'll edit this post if I find more threads relating to your question. http://www.17thshard...91-cosmere-101/ The general "Overview" of the Cosmere thread. http://www.17thshard...ion-and-answer/ Many questions and answers are given here. http://www.17thshard...-is-hoid-up-to/ Some discussion involving Hoid, and the WoK epigraph letter http://www.17thshard...ing-characters/ Other characters that hop worlds. http://www.17thshard...letter-in-twok/ This is about the letter that appears in the epigraphs in WoK. The letter is posted in it's entirety below. http://stormlightarchive.wikia.com/wiki/The_Way_of_Kings's_Epigraph_Letter Edit: More on the visitors: http://www.17thshard...want-from-hoid/ http://www.17thshard...planet-hoppers/

So I'm around chapter 35 of Eye of the World, and I finally went back and pulled out two quotes that had always nagged at me. That was from chapter 31, and from chapter 33 So I'm sure this has been analyzed to death elsewhere, but is this just meant to be a connection between the two farmers with carts? I thought at first it was intended as such, but since the words are repeated almost verbatim it could just as easily have been an oversight on Jordan's part. My new thought is that this is possibly the first evidence of Ta'Veren tugging on the pattern, causing this same event to occur twice. Also, I'm reminded as I read through this all of the things that we consider trope done masterfully. Spending time in taverns doesn't feel bad because it is justified by the story, whereas other places it would seem very cliché. I wonder though, if rand used the power to help Bela early, why is his first illness/reaction after he called lightning down in Four Kings? Was there a minor illness that happened before and I missed it? Or was the onset time such that the sickness from healing Bela only struck him after he had acted a second time?

Most of my comments are similar to Mandamons, but I haven't read the previous chapters so I'll keep the "Well I don't know who this is" to as little as I can. The long sentences didn't bother me, I was engrossed in the story and got a great feel for the situation. The only time I got slightly mixed up was when she was on the battlements, but other then that the setting is great. That might have been a typo or just an awkward sentence, but it threw me out of the story. The puddle of blood from innumerable defenders seems like it would be more then a puddle, a small thing but the contrast between "puddle" and innumerable fallen was a bit jarring. I don't know much about what the shifters were capable of doing, other then well, shifting. It seems to me that if they are from an earlier era, as is black rose, that they might be allied to bring the world back under their control? Maybe a little back story for them would go a long way, hanging a lantern on the mystery if you will. Were they older then even she was before she was imprisoned? If so then something like "The shifters, mysterious and ancient even in her time,...." might help with giving the reader the feeling of "Yes, these are ancient, yes they are mysterious, yes you will find out eventually" which could go a long way towards reader satisfaction. Overall though your prose was excellent, I didn't notice it. Dialogue was well done and the world well realized. JW

I began my re-read as well, and the first thing that jumped out at me was a line in the prologue. I must be paying much more attention this time around, because I hadn't before noticed this line, and now I'm thinking about it, and wondering what it means? Is he in the world of dreams, and the palace is being twisted by a mind? I agree with shiv about simple innocence of the early book, I keep reading it and lamenting the innocence lost, and I remember just why these books are so long, that change from super innocent to hard as iron takes a great deal of time, and is done step by step and in a very believable way.

Count me officially in.

So this is a random thread, just because I was wondering if anyone had any great stories about books they have recommended to other people. Just to share mine, and note it will contain some rather personal information, nothing that I don't mind sharing. So the recommendation story I have involves my dad, who I might have spent a total of three months with in around 15 years. Needless to say we didn't have a particularly good relationship, or any relationship for the majority of my life. He was struggling with 40 years of drug addiction and severe PTSD from Vietnam. He was having issues with becoming depressed during the day since he was disabled and couldn't work. I asked him if he would be willing to read a book to help keep from being melancholy and depressed during the day, he agreed and so I sent him a book. The book I sent/recommended to him was Name of the Wind. This was sent a 63 year old, ex Hells Angel, Vietnam Veteran. I get a call from him a month later, the voicemail said something like "So I haven't read a book in 25 years. And this afternoon I started it. I read for about 40 minutes and decided to take a break. I tried watching TV but couldn't leave the book alone." Since then I have given him Way of Kings, and Mistborn to read (He hasn't gotten around to reading WOK yet, but he loved mistborn). He also got one of my signed copies of Wise Man's Fear, and enjoyed that book immensely. Since then he and I actually have a friendship/relationship, essentially because of a book I recommended to him. What stories do other people have?

I'm feeling particularly hungry, so I thought I'd share a recipe for Cheese Fondue that I enjoy making for parties and the like. Please note, if you are lactose intolerant, cheese fondue is probably a bad idea. If you also have a seafood allergy, avoid using the clams. The components: 3 packages of 8oz Cream Cheese (Philadelphia) 4 Jars of "Kraft Old English Cheese" (It looks like This) 1/2 large white onion 1/2 large yellow onion 2 cans of chopped clams (In clam juice) 3 cloves of fresh garlic, minced (More to taste) 1 tbsp Worcestershire Sauce 1tsp Garlic Salt 1 tsp Garlic Powder 1 tsp Onion powder 1-2 tsp Cayenne Pepper (to taste) Loaves of French bread Steps: 1) Mince both onions, Mince/Press Garlic. 2) Drain a single can chopped clams, add both cans (One drained, one with juice) to the onions 3) Add Worces. Sauce, Garlic salt/powder, onion powder, and Cayenne pepper to the bowl, mix thoroughly. Note: These amounts are approximate, using more or less to taste is perfectly acceptable. Cayenne Pepper modifies the taste the most, but is a necessity. 4) Melt the cheeses together. This can be done in a number of ways. A: Microwave. Place 1 package of cream cheese and one jar of old english cheese into a bowl. Microwave for 45 seconds at a time, stirring and adding more cheese and spice/onion mix until cheese is liquid. B: Stove. Use a large pot on low heat. Drain some liquid from the bowl of spices stuff into the pot (to keep the cheese from burning). Stir constantly until all components are mixed in and cheese is melted. Maintain low heat ~5-10 minutes to allow the flavors to mix C: Crock pot. Almost exactly the same as the stove, but allows for portability and warming. D: Fondue pot. Never used one, should be easy. Cut the French bread into squares, dip and enjoy.

They have already recorded the entire coming year of Writing Excuses. I imagine that by the time he returns they will have just run out of pre-recorded content, or can fill the gap with special guests or long distance recording. And I believe he stated in his blog (Somewhere) that he will only be moving there for a year, and be coming back after that. He wanted to have a chance for his family to experience life abroad, and to be available for some of his European Fans for signings and the like. He also mentioned he'll be returning several times for different conventions or events. I'll try and find the blog post, but you could find it on his site if you looked. JW

Thanks for the feedback! You are indeed correct about the setting up the characters and them changing in the intervening time, it was intentional and is meant to provide a contrast for their current personalities. The two will be major players, maybe with a viewpoint or two, but part of their actions drive the main characters later in the story. I also have absolutely no sword fighting experience, at least nothing more solid then beating up friends with pvc pipes wrapped in foam. I agree that the fight scene could use a lot of work, and I might pick your brain at some point. The leg wound wasn't meant to keep him immobile, I'll rework that so it's clearer. The wound would already be starting to heal, an effect of the weapons (Similar to the otaratal swords in Malazan). Twenty turns would be a total of 10 complete cycles, so 300 days to a turn (It would make them around 16 of our years old). I'll fix the name in the final rewrite/edit, for now I'll just keep it as is for continuity purposes, the nickname Lan doesn't appear after the prologue. Thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated.

This is the "new" prologue to my novel tentatively titled "Resonance of Steel." In order to not distract too terribly from the story, I'll mention that I haven't yet figured out the science behind the day/night cycle. As a point of note, the cycle is 300 days of sunshine, 300 nights of low illumination from a second star, the "night-sun" referred to by one of the characters. There is a period of extremely harsh, almost uninhabitable, weather conditions during which the populace takes refuge in large, underground complexes, stocked with food, water, and fuel for fires during these times. This, along with the next pair of chapters, is available in Writing Group A's dropbox. JW

Sorry I was late posting this up, was out of internet access for the last two days. I stumbled several times early on in this, some of the sentences lost momentum, the first one in particular. Relating to the chairman of the prison comment perhaps some of it could be broken up two sentences, or maybe change the analogy. The other sentence was the one following "the inflamed liver." The sentence was almost an entire paragraph, and It lost a lot of the quick, snappy feeling that was present in the first half. I like the analogies that you use, some of them are quite funny, but it feels overdone in some cases. However after I type that, I read the "I-can't-believe-it's-not-rancid-lard" and laughed out loud, so maybe the voice of the character is growing on me. The Analogies vs metaphors comment should be made again, the character doesn't need to tell us again that they don't know the difference. Later on though (Pages 5-6) that commentary on the metaphors seemed superbly well done. Correcting his metaphors works better for me then commenting again that he doesn't know the difference, may just be personal preference though. I found the rest of the story fascinating, I didn't get jolted out of the story at all and the rest of it just pulled me through it rapidly. I'm quite curious about the ending though, I understand the guy taking the place guarding the sleeper, but I was half expecting it to be "Hey sleeper forgets everyone except me, I'm the last human in existence, this'll be fun" or expecting him to suddenly look down and see a pile of ash, and then he turned out to be a ghost. It almost felt like a broken promise, when you mention that this sleeper might just be the one keeping the entire human race alive and in existence, It kinda set me up for some world ending calamity. Either way, great story, I enjoyed the latter half of the story, the pacing seemed to pick up and the interest was certainly there. The metaphors worked a lot better after around page 7. Whatever you did from page 7-17 that worked really well, if you could do that for the first part then this would flow exceptionally well. Overall excellent story, looking forward to more stories in these settings.

So I have a few, or rather quite a few comments about this. The Pros: I like the differing magic system, there seemed to be a great deal of power being tossed around and that was awesome. I like that feeling of high magic, and such. I also know from your interrogation of my magic system that you like having well established rules, so I fully expect that I'll learn the rules later and that the consequences will balance out the level of power here. The summons being part of the skin was very cool. The way the summoning was suppressed by the glove also makes sense, and seems very reasonable, (It also helped explain that the summons manifested from inside of the person's hands. Dinosaurs and high fantasy, and sci-fi. This setting feels great. I got a great feel in the first chapter with the girl fighting against the dinosaurs. Cons/Comments: The learning curve. I like the level of magic, and the settings, and it all seems great. I felt very VERY overwhelmed though. I think the quick changes to viewpoints of characters who weren't near each other, plus (I think three, maybe four?) magic systems all at once was like blunt force trauma to the head. There was a lot of exposition, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing, but as stated above it did feel like every new concept had some exposition. Some level of showing instead of telling, or saving the exposition for later might help a lot. Your writing is very good, I didn't notice the semicolon use, nor did I feel like it detracted from the story, but maybe that is because of my own tendency to write in a similar style that it didn't bother me. I didn't feel like the tension was ramped up with the captured summoner because it was an almost immediate answer to the problem, the 2-D summon instead of 3-D. If the exposition could have been earlier, where we learned that summons would cause the arm to get eaten, that would've been a good explanation point for the 3D summons. The other 'complaint' is the chapter formatting, I'm not sure what could be done to change that, if it is simply your stylistic choice, but some amount of that could probably be adjusted to help with the flow. I found myself wanting to skip the exposition, wanting to find dialogue, and it is indeed true that peoples eyes are drawn towards dialogue. I like the conversations that Keth is having with Dex, those are interesting exchanges and quite fun. Was that inspired at all by Jonathon Stroud's Bartimaeus trilogy? That is who Dex reminded me of, a summon that has a great deal of wit and character. (As an aside, if you haven't read that trilogy I highly recommend it, theres a great deal of witty demon banter in that series, and a very well characterized demonic character.) The first cost to magic that I see is the extreme pain in Keth when his calls his shadow summon. Perhaps some cost could be introduced earlier, It might have been in there, but the level of exposition and learning curve might have overloaded the costs, if indeed it was in there. Hope this didn't come out as super critical, I liked it a lot, but I felt very overwhelmed by the curve. That would really help if it was leveled out a little, because the systems of magic seem really interesting and rich. JW

I like the story and where it is going, I'm typing this as I get through it and I stumbled a bit on Frienemies, it sounded like something used by high school students in conversation but if thats the tone desired then its negligible. Your prose is great, and your clearly have a good deal of experience with writing, or are at least quite practiced. I got a great feel for the world from the chapter, and after setting up the conflict the exposition was very expertly done. There was a sense of mysticism from the fortune teller, but also a sense of "This could be a conspiracy" and that is how she knew what to say to them. I loved the reveal at the end that connected the two viewpoint characters, now I feel like they're going to be in the same location, so we can get a better feel for the story from different perspectives. Roman asking for a fee from Oti for being a bodyguard sort of threw me, I thought he was willing to be her friend in spite of her befriending of him being somewhat fake to begin with. The last part of Jo's chapter, where we miss on the vote? I was somewhat lost because I'm not certain how they lost a vote on their trip, all I noticed was that Sakuma was unconscious and I'm stuck wondering what they missed out on here. Very good though, I like the setting and got a great feel of it from the chapter, excellently done.

I'd be interested in submitting again on Monday. I've reworked the beginning (Essentially scrapping the chapters previously submitted) and have a prologue that actually provides some setup for the story.

I think I was unclear with what I posted. If indeed there were dragons (hypothetically) then they might have survived in mythology as the feared creatures they see in present day, such as greatshells. The assumption itself is quite unfounded, and was just speculating on my interpretation of the image. The wings of the creatures looked similar to those one would expect a dragon to have, as opposed to an insectoid. I accept that they could look like crabwasps but think they look more like crabdragons.