danex

Fact: Microsoft is stupid

I can't open Minecraft because the Microsoft Store isn't up-to-date. I can't update the Microsoft Store because the option to do so is missing. I can't repair this problem because I don't have access to the admin account.

No one uses Microsoft Store. We have Standards. I couldn't care less about any of the problems this pointless app has if it didn't screw with my other things.

Fact: Microsoft is stupid

I can't open Minecraft because the Microsoft Store isn't up-to-date. I can't update the Microsoft Store because the option to do so is missing. I can't repair this problem because I don't have access to the admin account.

No one uses Microsoft Store. We have Standards. I couldn't care less about any of the problems this pointless app has if it didn't screw with my other things.

Fact: Microsoft is stupid

I can't open Minecraft because the Microsoft Store isn't up-to-date. I can't update the Microsoft Store because the option to do so is missing. I can't repair this problem because I don't have access to the admin account.

No one uses Microsoft Store. We have Standards. I couldn't care less about any of the problems this pointless app has if it didn't screw with my other things.

Fact: Microsoft is stupid

I can't open Minecraft because the Microsoft Store isn't up-to-date. I can't update the Microsoft Store because the option to do so is missing. I can't repair this problem because I don't have access to the admin account.

No one uses Microsoft Store. We have Standards. I couldn't care less about any of the problems this pointless app has if it didn't screw with my other things.

Fact: Microsoft is stupid

I can't open Minecraft because the Microsoft Store isn't up-to-date. I can't update the Microsoft Store because the option to do so is missing. I can't repair this problem because I don't have access to the admin account.

No one uses Microsoft Store. We have Standards. I couldn't care less about any of the problems this pointless app has if it didn't screw with my other things.

Fact: Microsoft is stupid

I can't open Minecraft because the Microsoft Store isn't up-to-date. I can't update the Microsoft Store because the option to do so is missing. I can't repair this problem because I don't have access to the admin account.

No one uses Microsoft Store. We have Standards. I couldn't care less about any of the problems this pointless app has if it didn't screw with my other things.

I’m going to rank the Pixar movies because that’s what I’m thinking about.

also I don’t want to fenangle the Shard into bulleting in reverse so we’re going from worst to best apparently

1. The Good Dinosaur - this movie sucks! Nothing happens, it’s incredibly boring, the premise is completely wasted. Anyway, onto the movies I don’t hate.
2. Cars 2 - I regret putting this here, because I like this one. And I won’t defend it as a movie, because objectively speaking, it is bad; I will only defend the fact that I like it, and my only defense for that defending is nostalgia. That’s right: this was my first favorite action movie, and I thought it was goofy enough to enjoy.
3. Brave - it doesn’t feel like a Pixar movie at all. Did you know it released the same year as Wreck-It Ralph? If you had asked me which of those two films seemed more like Pixar and more like Disney, I would have answered you wrong. Also there are too many butt and boob jokes and it’s just kinda bad.
4. A Bug’s Life - it’s okay I guess. I like the villain, but other than that it’s a really forgettable movie.
5. Monsters University - it starts pretty good, it ends really good, and the rest of it is boring. The theme is really poignant and relatable, but otherwise it’s an eh film.
6. Cars 3 - I dunno. A part of me just wasn’t into it when I saw it the first time. Considering how formative the original two were for my childhood, it felt a little cheap. I guess I might have to rewatch it sometime, considering I only ever saw it the once… but memory places it firmly in the low B-tier category
7. Finding Nemo - It was never my favorite. I’ve always liked it, but… eh.
8. Cars - You fools! You thought this would be higher, didn’t you? Well turns out the movie itself is better than I remembered as a kid, but somehow less enjoyable than I used to think it was. Basically, that means that it’s a pretty standard Pixar movie and it’s okay.
9. Toy Story - yes, I’m putting this lower than all the sequels and even some rather controversial titles. That is because I’m of the opinion that while Toy Story was (and still is) an excellent debut film, it’s ultimately just a stepping stone for what the studio would go to create. But I still like it a lot, and the incredible series it started really helps the film in hindsight.
10. Incredibles 2 - I liked it! Quite a bit, actually. It would have been impossible to make a worthy sequel to Incredibles, but by golly did they do their best. There are some issues I have (the villain’s a little uninspired, the eccentric billionaire guy is underutilized, etc), but I disagree with the ones most other people point out on the grounds that they are wrong. Bob does not resent his wife for doing hero work without him, he resents the situation that put the two of them there in the first place. Anyone who says otherwise is incorrect.
11. Lightyear - darn tootin’ I placed this over Toy Story. I’m really fond of this one, and for every reason except the fact that its meta-premise makes no sense whatsoever. Why does Andy’s favorite movie from the 1990s have such better graphics than their literal real life? Why is it that Buzz Lightyear toys are flying off the shelves instead of little Sox robots? But looking past that, I absolutely love this movie’s characters, plots, themes… it’s fun. I like it.
12. Turning Red - Okay… I like this one, and while I respect the people who don’t, I don’t respect the people who don’t respect it respectfully. It is not bad, it is not pointless, and it is not cringe. However, I was running out of middle-ground movies to use before I can get to the greats, so this one gets to go here.
13. Finding Dory - idk it’s just so cute! And I can respect its message a lot more now that I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and probably Autism - there are a lot of characters in this movie with various disabilities (Dory’s short-term memory loss, the octopus guy’s missing tentacle, the nearsighted beluga whale…). I think it’s touching.
14. Luca - the only reason this one is as “low” as I put it is ‘cause I wouldn’t feel right putting it over Ratatouille. This movie is absolutely adorable and I love it so much.
15. Ratatouille - Do I need to explain myself here? Go watch Schafrillas’ hour-long youtube video about it.
16. Toy Story 2 - it took a good movie and made it great. I’d argue this is where they first really cemented their “format” of providing unexpected but realistic twists to established stories, what with the conflict suddenly surrounding Woody of all people trying to decide whether staying with Andy is worth it - after all, kids only ever grow up, not down.
17. Onward - I think this one got artificially lowered a little because I’ve seen it so many times. I love the story and the jokes and the characters; not much else to say here.
18. Soul - I NEED TO REWATCH IT GUYS. REMIND ME TO REWATCH THIS ONE. I ONLY SAW IT ONCE AND I NEED MORE FLESHED-OUT REASONS TO PUT IT HERE
19. Inside Out - I’ve also seen this one way too many times, but it’s never lost its touch for me. Even seeing it as a kid when it first came out I was touched by the story, and that was even before I knew what depression was, let alone have it.
20. Monsters Inc. - this one gets put this high on the basis that I said so. Maybe I just compare it a lot to the garbage heap that is Ice Age, but the fact that they just   chased a three-year-old child around with a microphone to get the most organic lines really shows with Boo’s character. Randall and the wheelchair guy are great villains, I love Sully (and obviously Mike), but most of all I just find myself loving Boo more than anyone because of how real she feels.
21. Up - I almost feel weird putting it this low, even though I’m pretty sure this is still top five. The reasons to love it are plentiful, but there’s a lot of people out there who form the “Up is overrated because people only focus on the opening” faction. I would like to dissuadr any such arguments because you are wrong and I really like this movie through and through. I think there’s something so incredible about the idea of making an adventure story about a guy who’s long past his adventuring days.
22. Toy Story 4 - I want to put it higher but it isn’t better than the Incredibles so here we are. I will defend this movie and all it stands for. It was a good evolution of Woody’s character, it was a good expansion of the franchise’s main theme, and it does deserve to exist.
23. The Incredibles - also deserves no explanation. This is the best superhero film… maybe ever. I love it and it’s really really good.
24. Wall-E - this one is probably my favorite Pixar film, but gets third place because it doesn’t make me cry. The story, music, pacing, and characters are all beautiful and entrancing and I love every minute of it.
25. Coco - It was a tough choice, putting this one in second. The music in this film is objectively the greatest in any Pixar, and the ending makes me cry. A lot. But ultimately it lost to…
26. Toy Story 3 - The greatest conclusion to any story arc ever made. I know I just spent a paragraph defending 4, but darn it does this movie make me cry. “So long, partner” never ceases to pull at my heartstrings

oh and I haven’t seen Elemental yet hehe sorry

For those of you who haven't subscribed to Veritasium yet for some reason:

• Apparently there were a total of thirty-two cases of nuclear weapons going missing during the Cold War?
• And there have been several instances of the bombs never being recovered?
• And there's literally one just lying in a South Carolinan field to this day because they couldn't get it out because it was STILL ARMED
• You've probably heard these stories, but all-out nuclear war was completely avoided on two seperate occasions by two seperate men.
  • One was Stanislav Petrov, who - upon receiving (faulty) signals that the USA had launched an ICBM at the USSR - reasoned that it must be a bug (it was), due to the fact that a preliminary strike would be much larger; and he held this decision even after the computer showed four more signals.
  • The other was Vasily Arkhipov, who was an officer aboard a russian submarine during the Cuban Missile Crisis. They hadn't received a signal from the USSR in several days, and the American air force was dropping warning flashes into the water to draw them out. Two of the officers on board came to the conclusion that war had broken out, and it was in their line of duty to launch their torpedoes - Vasily, however, refused to turn his key.
• Also he didn't bring this up but I would like to point out that one of the stockpiles for American nuclear weapons were in a special place called Manzano Base, and several were moved to an underground bunker beneath the Kirtland Air Force Base.
• I brought this up because the air force base in question is about twenty miles from my house.

Would this actually work? I feel like it should, but it's also kinda late...

new pet peeve just dropped

people saying my name at the end of a sentence

specifically after a comma

like that sounds super weird

Okay hear me out -

don’t do a Legend of Zelda movie

Do a Legend of Ganondorf movie

You know how when you've been reading a book or looking at memes for way too long and stand up way too fast and the world can't close the text menu at the same time as it renders the entity chunks so your FPS and DPI rapidly drop so far that you almost crash the universe

You know how when you've been reading a book or looking at memes for way too long and stand up way too fast and the world can't close the text menu at the same time as it renders the entity chunks so your FPS and DPI rapidly drop so far that you almost crash the universe

There is nobody in my life I could show this to who would understand just how brilliant this is. So, in case one of you might, here's the one of the best mashups I've ever heard.

Update:

just absolutely destroyed in a family game of Catan

Update:

just absolutely destroyed in a family game of Catan

Facts (Star Wars edition!):

• People who ship Anakin and Ahsoka are lunatics
• People who don't ship Ahsoka and Barriss are homophobic (jk, jk... or am I?)
  • (F, btw, in the chat for Barriss)
• There was a fight between Obi-Wan Kenobi and Darth Maul in Star Wars: Rebels that lasted approximately five seconds. It was the best goddamn scene in the entire show.
• There was a fight between Ahsoka Tano and Darth Maul in Star Wars: the Clone Wars that lasted approximately five minutes. It was not the best scene in the entire show, but it was certainly close.
• The best scene in the entire show was during the final episode of the final season of Clone Wars, during which Ahsoka and Rex are desperately trying to escape a doomed cruiser while an army of Order 66 clones are trying to kill them. It is choreographed magnificently, the emotions are painful, and the spectacle is incredible.
• Rey is a stupid character. Daisy Ridley is fine, but Rey is a stupid character.
• Sequel Defenders who play the Sexist card against people who don't like Rey's character have an intelligence score of approximately three and a half. "You can't stand a strong female character" Princess Leia was objectively the most badchull in the original original movie, and then proceeded to become more awesome as the trilogy went along. Mon Mothma? Ahsoka Tano? Padme Amidala? Friggin... Barriss, again!
• Andor is the best Star Wars show.
• Actually, it might just be the Best show.
• The Last Jedi could have been good and had the exact same plot if Luke Skywalker hadn't been a whiny little toddler throughout the whole thing. Have him trapped on the planet, or crippled from a battle, or heckin' already friggin' dead for all I care. I can see him refusing to teach Rey the ways of the Jedi because of trauma, but I can't see him completely shunning the ways of the Jedi altogether just because nipple boy got all emo about it.
• I hate Rise of Skywalker as much as the next guy, but I will defend a single "plot hole" that people keep pointing out for some reason. "Why didn't Rey heal Ben after he healed her" because the surprisingly well-paced (not well-written, but at least it was paletable) exposition clearly stated that you're transferring your own life force to someone else in order to heal them. They probably could've continued going back and forth for awhile, but unless they're straight-up Carnot Force Engines then they'd run out eventually.
• Every other plot hole in Rise of Skywalker is terrible and I will not defend them.

• Phantom Menace? Eh. It's not as bad as people say.
• Attack of the Clones? Bleh. It's worse than people say (good memes tho).
• Revenge of the Sith? BALLIN. It has its downs but its ups are worth it.
• A New Hope? HECK YEAH. Gimme that tasty greenscreen practical miniatures! I miss those things!
• Empire Strikes Back? BEST STAR WARS MOVIE. I would die on this hill, but not before I slaughter all the rest who would come to test me.
• The Last Jedi? HECKIN GOOD. Excellent conclusion to an excellent saga.
• The Force Awakens? Not great, but it's fine! It's pretty much just the first Star Wars movie to have decent CGI, and really that's all I ask for.
• The Last Jedi? I loved it as a kid, but have come to be rather jaded in my opinions. I'm with Mark Hamill on this one.
• The Rise of Skywalker? Absolute dogwater. And don't try to defend it by saying "it was just trying to fix all the mistakes from The Last Jedi" because even if it was it's STILL DOGWATER.
• Rogue One? Love it. So much. Probably my favorite Star Wars movie, though I might get lynched for saying that.
• Solo? It was fine. Did we need it? No. Was it fine? Yeah.

• There is no objectively "cooler" lightsaber color (except, of course, purple). My tastes between blue and green change periodically.
• Anakin Skywalker at the peak of his power would not defeat Son Goku, but you'd best believe he'd hold his own for a good while at least.
• Obi-Wan Kenobi would, in fact, defeat Son Goku. But only by entrapping him in a philosophical debate about ethics a few minutes into the fight, such that he eventually turned the saiyan to the Way of the Jedi.
• The Original Trilogy are not to be defiled by the hands of man. The Sequel Trilogy is a disgrace and an insult to Star Wars and the universe. The Prequel Trilogy, on average, is not good; but it's always Star Wars, through and through, which means I respect it.
• I could still totally rewrite it to be totally epic, tho. Imagine if it had a decent CGI budget as well.
  • (The prequels)
• I've been soaking up too much Star Wars content of late.

If you’re ever caught kidnapping, remember that you can always plead guilty to a lighter sentence instead for minor in possession

place your bets

silksong or doors of stone

place your bets

silksong or doors of stone

Mark your calendars, mes amis, because I just learned that on September 21, 2048, we will be celebrating The Hobbit's eleventy-first birthday!

Anyone here into board games?

Similarly, has anyone here played Quacks of Quedlinburg?

dreams are fd up

had a strangely realistic dream last night

was in love with the most beautiful girl ive ever seen

and then i woke up

and she died

and now i'm grieving the death of a person that never existed

dreams are fd up

had a strangely realistic dream last night

was in love with the most beautiful girl ive ever seen

and then i woke up

and she died

and now i'm grieving the death of a person that never existed

hey they brought back the “currently viewing” thing

that was gone for a while right, im not going crazy?