Hoiditthroughthegrapevine

I'm a little slow, cautious in thought really because I don't want to hurt anyone with my tremendous strength. It's like a locksmith's puzzle...

Hot pink! Oh well, I can still have it help me wave to people. People will then probably say, "I didn't much care for that chaps hot pink ascot at first, but it's just so friendly!" The Nightwatcher whimpers and rocks from side to side as green hot glowing tears pour from her eyes and sizzle on the forest duff. Cultivation steps in from the shadows, and rests one hand upon the NightWatcher's troubled brow, and the other upon your shoulder. "That such wickedness resides in the heart of man is too much for my companion, who retains something of the innocence of the first days when all was one in multiplicity. Sadly the gift of freewill, endowed in every sapient creature allows for good as well as for bad actions. People have to be free to make up their minds, or they become nothing more than fleshy automatons. Your wish is a noble one, but I truly see no way of granting it without impinging on the individual's divine mandate to be free to choose their own destiny." The Nightwatcher, who had been keening lowly to herself as the tears continued to flow down her cheeks, raises her head. Looking from you to Cultivation with eyes still brimed with tears she speaks. "I have seen the Whitespine in it's fury and need take down it's prey, be that man or Chull. I have seen many men working together in their fury yet with no need take down the Whitespine to cruelly mount its remains upon their walls. I have seen into the dark places of the human heart, and I have also seen into hearts that were filled with the blinding light of love. Though I am still innocent Mother, perhaps this innocence is what is needed. Your wish has been granted little one. The tidal forces of baseless hatred are strong, but you will see, someday you will all realize that you are all one. That to hurt another is in fact a grievous injury to yourself." From that moment forward, a fundamental change in perception occurred. Anytime someone was engaged at another and tried to fuel that rage with the differences between them, be that race, gender, class or age, a psychic Connection between them was formed. In an instant an intuitive impression of the contours of their individual lives flowed between them, like dendrites stretching out to wholly new synapses. Though these moments of sympathetic Connection lasted for the briefest of moments, over time they allowed people to screen out the distorting noise of prejudice and discover what the true nature of their problems with others were. Though not everyone can have the last cookie, it's not because they were black or gay or transgender or a teenager that someone got it. The nature of devolving problems lies in the understanding of what the true problem is. With this clarity of vision, humanity was free to focus on our common problems, no longer distracted by the meaningless differences that people had used to divide, but united rather in common purpose. Because just as it is true that when you injure another you injure yourself, when you help another you help yourself. As you are turning to leave the glade, the Nightwatcher turns to you and says, "It is a noble thing you did here today, but balance is a law unto itself. Your bane is that you now have Thaylen eyebrows, but I really don't see that being a problem for you". I wish I had awakened tap shoes that can dance as well as Skimbleshanks from the Cats movie.

I like it, it fits better than the Tower battle ever seemed to, to me. There is a vacancy for the windrunner herald, Kaladin's always been number Ishi in my book, so here's hoping your right!

Hmm, I thought I figured out how background banners were being adjusted, is there a post about this on the 17th shard discussion forum? It would be nice to know what the recommended dimensions for cover photos and profile pictures are. I took a look at your profile photo, on mobile it totally looks like you're an intermediary to the breath magic. Pretty rad. Hmm, spell check let pretty raf through, I might start using that in place of rad. That could be pretty raf.

Mind? That would be awesome! Let me get you some cleaned up versions of the two images, I actually scanned the instead of just taking pictures with my phone. *EDIT* @The Awakened Salad, here are the cleaned up versions of the two different types of Awakened Salads: Veggie Monster: Radish Wizard:

I won't worry about, I'll just do it really quick (3 15 minutes of photoshop work, easy). I'll edit this post with the banner image in a spoiler tag. Simple. *EDIT* @Truthless of Shinovar, Ok, so it turns out it's more complicated than I thought, but I learned some things about how the profile banner file works on the seventeenth shard. This one seems to display the best on both desktop and mobile (it's best to use the maximum dimensions for the Desktop version which are 1135 x 237) The jpg is spoilered below, along with some preview images. Right now there is a this space for rent sign, but if you want to use this I could put whatever image you wanted in that spot.

This got me thinking, what if one of the fabrial advances that Navani has made is a healing fabrial like the one Nale uses to bring Szeth back? Kaladin could become the ultimate combat medic, and the barrier that he is struggling against, namely the inability to lose people, would mostly be resolved. I don't want Kaladin to swear the fourth ideal if it involves some sort of moral compromise, but if it really is "I will save only those that I can save" and he's basically a flying Paladin (Kaladin the Paladin) then that's not even a compromise, that would just be plain awrsome!

The file I was using is spoilered below, have it, it's all yours. It took a while to get it so the "Help me Dance Lil' High-tops" was visible. *EDIT* I was just being lazy and trying to edit it on my phone, I can make a custom profile background for you if you want, just let me know how you want it formatted.

Thanks Brother, as per your request, here are some awakened dancing shoes. I know from the Whitesand comics that little yellow plus signs indicate something magical is happening, also the high-tops have Nalthis flower logos, and his shirt is for the experimental Hallendren band, Lifeless Can't Dance. While the name is accurate, the duo of Lifeless that comprise the band are very avant garde in how they destroy their instruments.

@Yellow Cremling, here's the dog washcloth, pretty cute lil' guy. @The Awakened Salad, I went ahead and inked and colored the more traditional salad version (looks like the new cookie monster that eats fruits and veggies instead of cookies) and I inked in and cleaned up the Radish Wizard version too.

I liked this idea so much, I did an actual comic strip!

That's the cooing baby in the sun right? I've managed to see very little of the Teletubbies in my life, and that's actually how I prefer it. I watched enough Dora the Exploder when my kids were young to have PTSD when someone slowly repeats something to make sure you understand what they are saying. Just thinking of the "I'm the map" song makes my eye twitch involuntarily (insert a Sideshow Bob shudder here)

@Yellow Cremling today's a work day, so I'll have some time to sketch that washcloth dog, maybe "Harass the mailman"? Interesting idea, I'll give it a go and see how it comes out. Hahahaha, yeah, Kelloggs already did this for their Raisin Bran cereal

Child's Play "We found them like this", the Director said. Children's blocks floated above the table, arranged in a cube that pulsated and wavered. "It appears to be a portal, if I reach my hand in..." The Directors disembodied hand appeared above the cookie jar, high-up on the laboratory shelves. @Quitecontrary this is a really fun and useful exercise, you really have to pare it down to essentials. Words like Suddenly stand out as the unnecessary bloat that they are. Fun stuff.

Of course! Of course the awakened salad is a magic user with a sick lettuce wrap poncho. I did another sketch of a more traditional awakened salad (this is the type that they favor in the salons and galleries at Silverlight), but I liked the radish headed wizard better. If you like this one better I could finish it with some color.

How about "Coffee before breakfast. Breakfast before Lunch, and the Chicken before the Egg."

Hahaha, Jerry it is. Jerry is all yours, enjoy, just watch where you're sitting. Yeah it was just a quick little sketch, I have some more awakened cartoons on this thread (spoilered below) and am taking requests for awakened objects/commands to be cartoonified.

Granted. You get a cactus that has been awakened with the command "Follow The Awakened Salad and move stealthily to be sat upon" The good side of this is that you often spy the little cactus running stealthily and it’s adorable. I wish I had an awakened ascot.

Granted. After you make your wish you blink, and the next thing you know you are surrounded by the darkest black you have ever seen. In all directions this impossible blackness spreads out. There is no sound, not even the sound of blood in your ears, or the sound of your breathing. All sensation is gone, there is no smell, no sound, no feel of anything, just unyielding eternal darkness. Your bane is that your mind still has the memory of all the sensations that you experienced in your previous state of being, and in the extreme vacuum of sensation it begins to create sensations, smells, tastes and sounds as a synthetic process using your memories. You experience profoundly beautiful self-created experiences with a fusion of sensations that you never dreamed were possible in your old life. Your each conscious moment becomes an act of composition of symphonies of pure sensation that reach a transcendant pitch until you realize that without being to share these visions, the simple act of their creation becomes hollow and meaningless. Blessed with a transcendant God like ability to create out of the primordia of raw sensation, your triumphs turn to ashes in your mouth, knowing no one will ever experience these masterpieces. And though you know your soul is surely crying, you can't feel the tears trickle down your cheeks because you are just a consciousness devoid of a mortal form. Bad break buddy. I wish for something

Granted. You get the best cardboard box ever made. At first glance it just appears to be a 7.5 foot tall cardboard box that is 5 feet wide and 4 feet deep. But about 2 thirds of the way up the box tapers to a point, giving it the look of a small peaked roof house. The box is designed with a hinge on one side allowing the front facade of the box to be opened, revealing that the inside of the box is in fact a 1/4 scale 3 storey Victorian house. The interior is lavishly decorated with floral pattern wallpaper, intricate cardboard replica wainscoting and moulding, and exquisite 1/4 scale sturdy and beautiful Victorian furniture. The walls even have faux gas lamps made with LEDs and miniature fans that light and blow tiny pieces of colored tissue paper to simulate the flickering of gaslight. The house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and sturdy stairways commuting between the floors with intricately cut balustrades. The library has wall to wall bookshelves filled with miniature 1/4 scale books that can be taken out and read with a magnifying glass. The master bedroom has a faux fireplace (same LED, fan, and tissue paper setup as the gaslights), a beautiful canopied 4 poster bed, a mirrored vanity, a wardrobe, and a tiger print pattern rug, all made from beautifully decorated cardboard. Your bane is that you rarely get a chance to enjoy your new cardboard box because cats dressed in frock coats, double breasted suits, flower print dresses, bonnets, top hats, and pince nez are constantly throwing balls, or having high afternoon tea, or playing draughts, or just generally entertaining guests in your cardboard box. They also smoke fowl smelling cigars, and haven't yet caught on that there's no working plumbing in the bathrooms. I wish for 10 more hours in a day during which you don't have to work, and that this extra time is in fact set aside for napping and or contemplation.

Great stuff! Also it's nice to know that TOR is going to pre-releasing chapters like they did in the run-up to Oathbringer's release. I think the part where Syl goes into the Highstorm to talk to the Stormfather heavily implies that Honor's perpendicularity is where the Stormfather is, and that this also goes a long towards explaining Dalinar's act of combining the 3 realms at the end of OB. The realms became porous part is especially interesting.

The Puuli interlude heavily suggests that Odium's forces will come from the Origin of Storms and land at New Natanatan, making this a strategic point, possibly the landing point that will be used to assault the shattere plains and seize the Oathgate. With Odium's forces gathering at Cultivation's perpendicularity in Shadesmar, it seems like a foregone conclusion that at some point they will cross over from the Cognitive Realm to the Physical Realm using the perpendicularity, and most likely in strength to try and hold both sides of one of the most strategically important locations in all of Roshar. If Cultivation had another perpendicularity in the Purelakes (as is suggested by the 17th Shard searching for Hoid interlude), that likewise will probably become a serious Flashpoint in the coming conflict. Aimia is marked not because there are forces currently amassed there, but rather I think it's a point of special strategic interest to all powerful parties, due to the strong likelihood that the weapons capable of destroying worlds are located there. I think the Shin, Odium, the Ghostbloods, and Dalinar's Coalition all know of their existence, and a point is coming where the fate of Roshar will hang in the balance of who controls the Dawnshards. In OB I recall (correct me if I am wrong) that Dalinar received intelligence that Odium's forces were active in Iri, and that the Iri were on the move (and I recall it being mentioned that they were moving into New Barbatharnam), this is just speculation, but it seems to me likely that they would be there for two reasons. 1: To amass forces prior to an assault on Aimia and 2: To make an overland assault on the Purelakes (if Cultivation does in fact have a second perpendicularity there). This is a confirmation of the principle of multiple perpendicularities, and I think the 17th shard interlude heavily implies that this is the case.

You could still wrap your Sunday finest in aluminum foil, and I think you would just be eccentric.

This is an interesting theory, and it begs some of the fundamental unanswered questions of the Stormlight Archives. Namely what were the unmade unmade from? If the Unmade were unmade from preexisting spren, what was their function before they were unmade? Why was investiture given sentience on this one specific planet? Why are the moons in such a precise yet unstable (in astronomical time) orbit? Why is the Rosharan landmass built too, like the unstable moons, for a finite span of existence? I think the notion that this was creation as an act if self-discovery on Adonalsium's part to be a very intriguing line of thought. Does the impermanence of the continent of Roshar and the orbits of the moon then suggest that Adonalsium had foresight about both his shattering and the ensuing conflict on Roshar,? Does that suggest that possibly Roshar, with its finite span, was made to order to be the stage of the inevitable conflict that Adonalsium foresaw and prepared for? Interesting lines of speculation to be sure.

Granted. Man, that was a good plum. Firm, perfectly ripe, sweet, delicious, and bursting with juice. Your bane is that you have inverse invisibility. Anything that touches your skin becomes completely invisible. It's OK though, you've figured out how to dress using barrels and suspenders, though It does make it harder going to church. You have also found another hack, clothes wrapped in aluminum foil don't become invisible. Thank Adonalsium for the miracle of magic defying aluminum. *Edit, granted the wrong boon* @Mist I wish for a deck of cards Granted. They're really nice. They have incredibly beautiful photographs of the dawn cities, and the design of the deck is exquisite. Each card is ivory tinted, lacquered and beautiful in and of itself. Your bane is that you have more hair on your knees and elbows than on your head. I wish I had the strength of the bear and the vision of the eagle.