Jump to content

Archer

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    3780

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    9

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Archer

  1. Archer
    The air above the stage door fizzles, then splits into a purplish portal opening. Alcatraz Smedry, holding a carton of milk and wearing a pair of black and white tinted glasses poofs through it, into the arena of assembled roasters. He looks around for a moment, then takes a gulp of his drink and begins to hurriedly back out of the room. Spying Sigzil through his spectacular speckled spectacles, he sings silly slant rhymes at him as he slides away: Alcatraz then turns and begins making a noble and dignified sprint for the nearest exit.
  2. Archer
    All of these have been awesome so far! Good job, everybody.
  3. Archer
    BE CAREFUL 100% OF THE COOKIES I'VE EVER GOTTEN FROM A MODERATOR IN THIS SUBFORUM HAVE BEEN SPIIIIKED You know how Athena acted in Riordan's Mark of Athena when she had to express herself as Minerva to the Romans and Athena to the Greeks at the same time? I'm getting those kind of vibes from your description. It's a kind of false consciousness situation which implies a lot about the specific workings of the time warp, so I'd suggest being vague where possible and not trying to explain it in any expository way. That way it can be easily retconned if need be. But yeah, might as well move on if Fate isn't around, seems like a good arc build.
  4. Archer
    Your stuttered vote accidentally becomes a veto and nixes all opposition to the proposal. Problem sooooolved! I say go for it, Ghanderflaffle. Edit: additional proposal if you're doing an extended ladder tournament with 8 matchups at the start: figure out the matchups in advance and ballpark the times when they'll occur. Then PM everyone the date you think they'll start on. That way they wouldn't know their opponent, but would be sure to be active on the day they're needed. It could avoid inactivity problems ruining the setup.
  5. Archer
    I appreciate the invitation HITTGV. Perhaps one more go wouldn't hurt. @Ghanderflaffle please sign me up as Alcatraz. I was tempted to do Grandpa Smedry and not post anything until after the competition had finished, but Al's easier to write for.
  6. Archer
    Kingston ran like his pants were on fire, which was ironic for a man with his Talent. Was that that proper use of the word ironic? he thought to himself as he ran towards the saftey of the upper levels of the TUBA sanctuary. Sometimes his librarian training kicked in at unfortunate times. Behind him, a closet full of hydrogen canisters sat hissing wildly. In the middle of them all, a single sheet of paper sat lazily on the floor, waiting to be picked up. Waiting to be of use. A single line peeked out the top, the rest of the writing hidden beneath the fold. Tesh. Followed by a date. Next to the report, the first canister combusted with a poooof. Flames licked hungrily towards the page, which was also an ironic descriptor. Or appropriate? I must look up the definition next time I'm near a dictionary.
  7. Archer
    *wild clapping and cheering* YEAHHHH, FINANCE! And also, successful candidacy and stuff! Well campaigned everyone.
  8. Archer
    “I need to go to the washroom,” Kingston announced. One of his lenses had gotten scratched, and he needed somewhere private to clean them off. The Smedry looked around for a sign. At that exact moment, a sign down the hall flickered on. Dull red back-lighting illuminated the word ‘EXIT’ above a non-descript wooden door. Kingston gravitated towards it, raising the rest of his lenses to his eyes to check them as he walked. Warrior’s Lens seems fine, he decided. He turned the knob. Shamefiller’s Lens seems… I’m such a terrible door. He stopped, realizing his mistake too late. No one has wanted to use me in decades. My hinges don’t just squeak, they’re rusted through! Not that it matters, all I lead to is a stairwell and that report. And it’s not very user friendly that- “Don’t mind me, I’ve found nothing of note!” Kingston called out, swinging the door open to reveal a small dark room filled with container-like objects he couldn’t immediately identify, a set of stairs leading upward, and off to the side, a small sheet of ancient TUBA stationary. -And it’s not very user friendly that these hydrogen gas tanks are stacked so close to me. Oh golly, I’m so embarrassed, I could just- WHHOOOOOMPH. The door shattered into a thousand pieces, spraying into the containers. An angry hiss could be heard, followed by a high pitched whine. “TAKE YOUR TIME!” Kingston screamed, barreling through the room, tossing aside the doorknob that was still in his hand. It clattered to the ground, landing next to the scribbled-on page on the floor which he ran past, mission forgotten as he bolted up the stairs.
  9. Archer
    Oh, my apologies. Pretend I said danexpropriation
  10. Archer
    Eh, I've seen worse justifications for power grabs. Or in this case, dannexation.
  11. Archer
    As previously advertised, everyone who votes for me gets a joke told about them. So.... why can't Kyl be killed by gut wounds? Because he's already been disemvoweled! I'll PM you about my name. EDIT: SOME OTHER MAD LADS VOTED FOR ME Yo Turtle, are you bald? Because according to Aesop, you're anti-hare! (I know it was a tortoise, shh) And hey TFA, knock knock! Who's there? The Forgetful Archivist! The Forg- forgo- nope, I've lost it. [END OF JOKE] (that's a memory joke for all of y'all)
  12. Archer
  13. Archer
    I also have jokes! What was this ^ guy's favorite beast in How to Train Your Dragon? Troothless! Okay, that one needed some work, but you get the idea.
  14. Archer

    Hey Dannnnnex, I just want to say that I appreciate a good running joke. :D Well done, sir

    1. dannnex

      dannnex

      Why thank you, I’m glad someone appreciates my efforts.

  15. Archer
    dinosaurs support me because I am good at archerology
  16. Archer
    I would be very interested to hear all the nominee's positions on this contender. Is he the best and therefore should win this election? Or is he not the best and therefore you hate books and possibly kittens! Let's hear it, kitten haters. >.>
  17. Archer
    I second all of those nominations and nominate Scarlet so I can say that she is so old-school - *pauses to let studio audience say HOW OLD-SCHOOL IS SHE!* - she communicates using Scarletfax!
  18. Archer
    I nominate the fish. Also, I accept your full throated support, Gears, and therefore have crafted this wonderful joke for you! Knock Knock. Who's there? Gears! Gears who? Gearsrymandering is how I'll win this election!
  19. Archer
    *sighs* I don't want to run the world. But I do want to sabotage this election by taking it as unseriously as possible (*glares at Gears*). I have no platform or pandering, just a gimmick: vote for me and I'll make a joke about you. Probably a bad one. Woooo
  20. Archer
  21. Archer
    Rook nodded and slid the package of coins over. "My number is written down on the outside of that. Text me when you find him." Deal complete, the big man was almost halfway out the door before he stopped his quick retreat, struck by an afterthought. "I didn't give you my name. You could find it, if you did some digging. Don't. I'll know if you do." And with that, he stepped quietly back into the night. Once he got a half block away down the alley, a second figure, more lithe and small, almost child sized, emerged from the shadows opposite the door he'd left from. They began to tail him, not subtly, but more as an escort to prevent anyone else from following. After a few twists and turns, the two of them parted ways, having never exchanged a word.
  22. Archer
    Just sliding in to say, cool! You read the wiki! I approve! In the alternate timeline thing we've got going, TUBA remains committed to distributing safe, delicious cookies. However, they're hamstringed by an internal culture of suffocating bureaucracy and love for excessive paperwork, meaning, as some players are working to change, they have lost sight of their altruistic mandates. They're still a big organization, but in this world, that's caused them to be in disarray and disrepute. I think, in practice, the DA is a non-entity. TUBA doesn't have them on the radar, so they aren't actively working against them. Queen's question got resolved, so I'll just say hi again! Welcome to the guild.
  23. Archer
    Rook grunted non-noncommittally. "You people and your cookies." His beefy fingers pulled open the package and slid out the plastic tray from inside. Instead of the alluded to Girl Scout cookies, two rows of gleaming gold coins could be seen - until he closed his hand over the box once more, hiding them from sight. "I'm looking to trade these... thin mints for some information. The batch is yours if you can enlighten me. If not, I suggest you hang onto them. Spend half to get the intel, and keep the rest for yourself." He leaned forward, expression blank and unreadable. There was no excitement in his voice, no fear, no anger. Just a slight impatience with the man in front of him, and the implicit threat that came with it: don't disappoint. "I seek the location of a man, early twenties, fit, if a little scrawny. Six feet tall, short brown hair with a fringe. Barcode tattoo on his left ankle. Probably wearing at least one pair of lenses. Code name King, though I doubt you'd get that out of him. He doesn't tell the truth very often. Or ever, really." He paused, right nostril flaring, his first sign of emotion since entering the building. "Full name: Kingston Smedry. Do we have a deal?"
  24. Archer
    Rook smacked his head on the top of the door frame as he tried to enter. He had a frame the size of a fitness addict – or a Pewterarm. He embraced the stereotypes that went with it, buzzing his hair short and wearing dark sunglasses whenever he went out, the kind that were opaque enough to hide his eyes, but you couldn’t see your reflection in. As he crossed the threshold and shrugged off his cloak, his leather jacket became visible. Four white letters were stencilled across its back: L.I.A.R. “Glassweave coat,” he intoned, throwing it down on the nearest tabletop. “Half-shattered now, but its got salvage value. Earth-made, custom dagger pockets. Yours, if you’ll give me a moment of your time.” The mountain of a man flipped his palm up to reveal a small cardboard box he had been carrying. “I hear this is a place to trade services and... goods.” He shook his hand, making the container’s contents rattle a little. “Would you like to buy some thin mints?”
  25. Archer
    Soon his entire face was covered in hair.
×
×
  • Create New...