Pestis the Spider

Nothing here, I've made a mistake.

Unicorns don't exist. #DestroyerOfChildhood

Guys, all of you who answered me before: thank you, thank you so much! I really appreciate that. Have each an upvote.

Do you have maybe bright orange ones as well? I'd like a pair! EDIT: New Pet Peeve (just got it): When I don't notice anymore which language I speak/write/read in. I just got so confused. I've read something in English yesterday, and then I found same thing on the Polish website (translation) and I was so sure that I've already read it on that Polish website. But that was impossible, because it was just added today. So confusing. Mind-overload. xD

Twi, Mist and Delightful: I totally agree with you. I'm not some eco freak that thinks global warming is going to kill us all, if we don't shut all the factories down immediately. I just really don't like, when people use faulty arguments or arguments they don't fully understand in discussion. And the discussion about Climate Change is always full of stuff like that. That's why I posted video about critical thinking not about "OMG, climat change is totally true and is going to kill us all!". I just want people to start thinking logically and on their own more, instead of repating the stuff they hear in media or opposite to what they hear in media (because some people are inherently convinced that media always lie). And really there is the same thing always going on about evolution, vaccines and all the other hot topics that we can hear about. Just repeating stupid arguments annoys me. Some people do it occasionally, some people do it all the time. And I really don't mind someone arguing against me, as long as the arguments hold up together.

A huge (not pet) peeve of mine: - People who think that climate change is not primarily caused by humans because of the global cooling scarce, even though they know nothing about it. Seriously, just because earlier scientists thought that Earth is a centre of Universe, doesn't mean that they are wrong now, when they say it isn't... It's the same situation, omg. And additinally there was a reason why scientists thought there might be global cooling. However that wasn't even what all scientists thought, it was just a couple of them saying that global cooling might happen, and the rest thought it's wrong. And then obvioulsy the media picked it up, because media love to do stuff like that, and that's where all the global cooling scarce came from. OMG. There is this awesome lecture (by my favourite lecturer, the guy is awesome, he always puts Daleks in his plant science lectures xD) about critical thinking when it comes to global climate change etc. I'm going to post it everywhere if I must, global cooling scarce is also explained there. It such a huge pet peeve of mine. I generally can't stand people neglecting human impact on climate change, especially if they repeat arguments that are wrong. Sorry, sorry. I don't mean to offend. I just can't stop myself. My other pet peeves: - People that say evolution isn't real and that it's just a government propagada to brainwash us. - People that say theory of evolution is just a theory (when they clearly don't understand what term "Scientific theory" actually means.) - People that say that mass extinction is not happening and is not cause by humans, because "extinction is a natural process", while totally forgetting to check what is the natural rate of extinction... - People that do cherry picking of evidence for the sake of argument. - People that talk about stuff they know nothing about, but they insist they know everything. (That probably includes me. What a hypocrite I am, buhuuu. ) - People that say "this must be right, because this or that guy said so". - People that offend my voice, because apparently it's high pitched and annoying. And yes, this group includes my parents. - People that tell me to stop talking. - When I write about my pet peeves and my dinner gets burned in the meantime. *checks* Oh, wait, no. My dinner is fine. - People saying "You smile too much" as a joke that is apparently supposed to be funny. - When my flatmate is in the flat. - People talking in the library. - People making notes in a way too noisy manner in the library. - When I write about my pet peeves instead of studying. So I should probably finish here.

Sorry guys, I might sound rude now, especially in the light of recent terrorist attack discussion here and Mistrunner's loss. I really do apologise for that, and please try to forgive me, but I really want to know the answer. I would be grateful if you could all reply my 100% truthfully. If you don't want to do it in public, you can reply in PM, I don't mind. And please bear in mind that I am really not trying to offend anyone, really. I am really sorry if I do. So I do know that people generally tend to get sad if something bad happens to someone they know and like (at least as far as I know). But what about strangers? I noticed that a lot of people (here nad generally) seems to be very angry about for example the terrorist attacks, sad that people's lives were lost and so on. A lot of people seems to have these rather "deep thoughts", saying how aweful the whole situation is, going even as far as quoting poems. Of course that is not only true for terrorist atacks, but also everytime we hear about people dying, starving, getting hurt, loosing their houses, getting bad marks on exam and so on. So basically I noticed that people empathise with strangers, people that they never met. I think this topic is a really good example of that. I know that I probably shouldn't ask that and that I have no right to ask that, especially that I've been complaining in this thread a lot lately. But I still want to ask: Do you actually mean everything you write here? Are these good, empathising words what you actually think? Do you actually feel for other people? Does hearing about the strangers deaths actually make you sad and angry? Do you actually care, feel anything? If yes, then do you think that most of other people also empathise with strangers, and feel bad for them? Or do people say all these good things just because society expects it? Or because it makes people look good, when they say that they're sorry? I know this is a weird question. I apologise for that. But please, please, answer me truthfully. I am really trying to figure something out, and I'll be grateful if you can help me.

Please add me to Edinburgh, UK.

Well, I get that is why they want to start relationship fast. But I can't do it. I am way too shy, I have trust, control and anxiety issues and I am generally socially incapable. I can do it, but I need to do it slowly. And dating someone or even just being friends with someone that can't possibly understand that I am shy and feel insecure is really difficult. To be honest, the way I see it is that some people are just desperate to be in relationship now, fast and instantly. I mean, if I agree to go for a date and clearly communicate that yes, I am romantically interested, then what's the hurry? If I wouldn't interested I would communicate that clearly the moment the first question about the date is asked. But apparently guys are desperate (or something) and they just need to meet everyday, make extra surprises (even when I said I'm gonna be busy) and in general (in my opinion) rush the relationship. And that makes me really uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that I actually break up the relationship even when I am still clearly in love with the guy, because I just can't take it. As Delightful said, I would actually just prefer how it goes, instead of trying to force it one direction, and that is what I feel that guys try to do to me. (Note: When I say "guys", I mean only a few, as I have terribly low dating experience.) As for hating part: The guy that told me he hates me was actually the one, who put me in their friendzone (or so I thought, but I didn't really mind). And internet is a blessing. Online chatting is really easier, but I am actually still to shy to even approach someone on a personal level. I am only find with forums, but as for private messaging I really need someone to approach me, as I have some problems with doing so (again, shy). The problem with online chatting and then changing it to relationship is proximity. I mean, maybe if I actually went on some dating sites I would fins someone with shared interests nearby, but otherwise it's difficult. I mean that for over seven years I have a crush on my longest known friend, who I know only online, because he used to live 400km from me when I was a teen, and now that I am adult he lives 2000km from me. Well, and he has a girlfriend all the time. I feel totally friendzoned. Life is hard. And yes, I know I have a lot of weird problems. Not everyone can be normal, right? PS Sorry, I noticed that you changed topic. It's just writing this post took me a longer time.

That sounds really resonable, but how do you do that? I need some sort of manual to relationships for dummies, or something, because I can't figure it out. Every time I try this method the guy either wants to date me immediately (And I'm not ready! Absolutely not! That freaks me out a lot.), without this time to get to know each other, or after some time of being good friends he suddenly a.) refuses to speak with me anymore and plainly ignores me or b.) tells me he hates me without any explanation or understandable reason. I don't get it. Maybe it's because I'm already at uni without almost any dating experience, so maybe I just make mistake somewhere, and don't realise it? But to be honest it was like this my whole life. It's soooooo complicated. EDIT: Spelling.

No, he didn't really bring it up, I didn't really bring it up. To be honest I'm still waitng for an appointment with an actual therapist that my GP referred me to. This therapist I met today is with my University, so even though he is an actual therapist and everything, his main purpose is to help students with their studies, which means that basically he needs to operate in a slightly different manner. The thing is that I went to student counselling with all my problems and a mention of possible reason for that. So the student counselling service reffered me to the other student service, which agreed with possibility of that reason existing and referred me to one of their psychologists to test it. So because uni services work the way they work, my whole meeting (2.5h) with therapist was about testing that "reason". And basically when he started to ask me more difficult questions I started to realise that I am confused and really unsure about the answers. Only after few hours of thinking at home I realised to what extend it goes, and I will totally mention it next time. But the therapist said that I need more proper testing (that was just basics) for one possible reason and other possible reason (differential diagnosis, this kind of thing), and that I generally need also general therapy help, beacuse during testing there is really no time for anything beside it. He actually said he's going to talk with uni, if they can provide me this sort of therapy, but they usually don't deal with this sort of things. They only help with studies, and I need general life help (studies included). So I kind of count on the therapist referral from GP, because they kind of get more freedom into what's covered during meetings. Or at least I think so. Well, it's almost Christmas, I'm going back home during that time, uni services are not operating, so I don't know how soon I'm going to meet anyone about this issue again. And the referral letter is just taking it's time to arrive, because NHS just is this way. Oh well.

It was always cliched. At this point anyone would be more interesting. Or it would also be nice for Wax to end up alone, because this is something I have yet to see in Sanderson's book.

Thanks guys. I mean, I started to see that this way of thinking was wrong and that's why I decided to seek help. But you know, 20 years of people (especially parents, and you know, kids generally tend to trust parents) saying "You're just exaggerating" and "Quit complaining, other people have it worse than you." really got to me. I mean, I understand that my life situation is not exactly normal, but I still can't stop thinking that talking to doctors is basically just looking for excuse. And that I should be able to deal with all of it in my own. And I'm not even sure if I'm responding to doctor's questions truthfully. What if I subconciously exaggerate, because I want to blame something else than my personality? What if I subconciously understate because I am trying not to exaggerate? Or maybe I don't, but I'm definitely overthinking everything at the moment. To be honest I don't even know anymore which thoughts are my own, which ones are the ones I was taught and which ones are the ones I learned myself, to somehow survive in this weird society. I don't know, maybe even my whole personality is fake. Well, this last sentence is stupid, but I got really confused today. Before I thought I might have problems, but I thought I understand myself pretty well. But when the psychologist started asking me questions I never even thought to ask myself, I realised that I lie to myself all the time, and I don't even notice it anymore. You know this saying "Repeat a lie a thousand times and it becomes the truth."? Because that's how I feel at the moment and I have absolutely no idea what's going on. I don't know if my whole life was a lie. But I certainly feel right now that it could've been. It's a really difficult thought. EDIT: Sorry, for talking about it, I'm pretty sure none of you wants to read this kind of stuff. It's just I feel like talking, but I have no one to talk to, and anonymous people on internet just kind of put me at ease. So if you're bothered, just don't read it, okay?

So, when I'm in Poland I speak mostly "pedantic Polish" with probably some Mazovian influences. Though Polish language has soo many rules in every aspect that there is no room for accents so different from one another as English accents to even appear. Even Polish dialects sound mostly all the same, I think. I seriously doubt that any non-Polish person would be able to recognise any difference in Polish accents. But maybe I'm wrong and you're just better at accent recognition than I am. Because I am really bad at that. When I speak English I get quite obvious Polish accent, though not as hard as some people. My English is obviously stiffer and harsher than it should be. And also I use limited number of vowel sounds, as we simply don't have so many vowels in Polish, as you use in English, so it's a little hard for me to remember to try to pronounce them all.

I just finished Shadows of Self. I am seriously unimpressed. I am not really disappointed, because I wasn't expecing much. I just find this second Mistborn series really generic, and somehow can't make myself really enjoy it. Well, but I had similar problems with first Misborn series as well. Don't get me wrong. It's a good book, and I did enjoy it, but it's nothing special, really. At least in my opinion. And I'm going to be seriosuly annoyed if Wax ends up with Marasi. No, not because I don't like her, byt because I've seen 12,000 relationships like that in both Sanderson books and other books, and I really do not wish to see another. It's just boring.

So. Today I went to see psychologist for the first time in my life. I basically learnt that I might have worse mental and neurological problems than I ever considered. But what's important is that they told me that I definitely need some sort of help. Th GP and student counsellor also said so. And all my life I was told that I am just exaggerating and that I don't have any problems. But the moment I started talking to proffesionals they all said that I do. I just feel like my whole life was a lie.

I apologise if I sound overly aggressive, but now I am really angry. Don't take it personally, as I adress it to generalised idea of parents, rather than to you. So if I write "you", I don't mean you, maxal. Can someone please better explain to me this "parental psychology"? Because I don't get it. I am unable to understand this. So someone, please. What exactly does a parent think when their child says "I feel sad and useless, I think I'm depressed." Do they think "no, my child is not useless, but wonderful, so they can't be depressed"? Do they think "my child can't be depressed, because that would have to be out fault"? Do they think "If I tell my child that they can't be possibly depressed (because they're wonderful etc.), the problem will be solved."? These are all fallacies. These are all so wrong. This is utterly ridiculous. I just want to remind that parents are adults. And as adult people, they should be aware that dismissal fo the problem, doesn't solve it. They should be able to accept the existence of the problem, even if it causes them pain, because that is what adults do, isn't it? I know that reality is not all that fine and dandy, but for god's sake, you're parents! Put your child first, trust them a little. Children don't say they're depressed for no reason. Parents are people that the child is supposed to be able to depend on, to rely on, to get help from, to trust. Not uncles, teachers, family friends. Not strangers. Parents are always the people the child is going to get help from first. Every situation in which a child is forced to get help from parents through some other people is plainly ridiculous and so wrong. If the parent doesn't trust a child, then who will? Of course, maybe someone would, but that's not how the child sees it. How is that when a child says they feel ill, their body temperature gets checked for fever, but when they say that they think they are depressed, the only answer they get is "No, you're not!". With no attempt whatsoever to try to learn what the truth is, just simple dismissal and neglect. Why is that? Because mental issues are harder to check? Because they make parents feel more guilty than physical issues? Well, dismissal of the problem can only make it worse (whatever the problem is). How doesn't it make parents even more guilty? Because they just hurt they're child in so many ways. Just imagine yourself feeling like total garbage, the most useless person in the world. But the most important people in your life say that you can't possibly feel this way, you have no right to. So day by day you cry. Sometimes quietly in your room. Sometimes in front of your parents, for hours. You cry so hard that you can't even get up from the floor, and you plead and beg for any sort of help and understanding. But you don't get any of them, because according to the parents, you're wrong. You don't have the problem. You're imagining it. You're exaggerating. Your life should be perfectly happy, right? The why isn't it? Why do you feel like that? You don't understand. You're just a child, after all, so it's even harder for you. So you cry even more, because you're helpless, you don't know what to alone. And then one day your mother starts crying. That she feels so bad that you feel this way. That she's trying her best, but she doesn't know what she's done wrong, because to her best knowledge you should be feeling fine. You can see how sad she is, how guilty she feels. You can see how sad you've made your mother with your foolish imagination of the problem that has no right to exist. You feel how worthless you are. So you honestly tell your mother that its not her fault, because you don't want your mother to cry. You start to back off from your arguments, to lessen the impact. After some time your mother feels better. You said there's not problem that's her fault, so there's no problem at all, she no longer has a reason to feel guilty. But you still feel sad and worthless and helpless. You still don't understand why. And above all, you don't understand why would your mother dismiss your problems for so long, for weeks, for years, when you reacted to hers immediately. So you cry, and cry and cry once again, starting the cycle over and over, and everytime you're more and more ignored. You cry almost everyday for 7 years, to the point when you start to hate your mother from the very depth of your heart, but still not being able to stop loving her. You feel lonely, and you're in pain. So much, that it still hurts 3 years later. Imagine that. Because that's how your child feels, when you dismiss their problems. Start talking with your child. And if you're unable to do that, take them to the doctor who can do that. Communication and proper understanding is essential. I'm so angry. I'm sorry, I can't. I don't know. I just can't. EDIT: I removed all inappropriate words. Sorry everyone, for the language. Unfortunately I have a huge and unpleasant tendency to swear, when I'm angry. And then I also happen to use the words without knowing their meaning properly, and the results sometimes are really unpleasant. So I tried to remove offensive words, but if you notice something else that I missed, please let me know. I really do apologise for putting them there in a first place. I should've probably read what I post, instead of acting all on emotions. And to be honest, I actually cam here, to say that my bike broke down, so I had to walk in a middle of the night for 40 minutes, because the bus driver didn't want to let me in. And walking in the night is scary. And somehow from the story about the bike I went ot this overly long and pointless post. I am really sorry for that.

I've wasted yet another day, which means yet another sleepless night to finish my assignements. Briliant, I'm so good at life. *sarcasm hard*

Twi, I feel for you. I hope you can get a new job and move out of there as soon as possible. I've been in the similar situation, and I still think moveing out was the best thing I've done in my life. Once you move out, your relationship with your parents will inevitably change, so maybe that will make them think once again and realise their mistakes. And hopefully you can all make up then. All the best.

My life is generally in ruin for a long time now, so I decided to (finally) turn to professional help (as I have no friends and my family ignores my problems). I ended up crying in the doctor's office, and basically was unable to say anything sensible. Fortunately the doctor more or less grasped what I meant, referred me to some counselling services, and told me to meet her in a week and if I still feel like *** then she'll refer me to a specialist. That's basically good outcome, but I'm angry with myself that I ended up unable to explain what my problem is. I also decided to make an appointment with student counselling services (out of better ideas), and filled the whole application form with basically my lifelong ranting on everything possible, because this time I tried to explain properly what I feel. I used up so much of my precious time for that. Eh, and I don't even know what my actual problem is. I'm just going to go cry some more, because I'm out of better ideas.

This trailer looks really bad. I suddenly started to worry more about this movie.

Haha, maybe that's what my problem is. The thing is I am not really that much of Sanderson fan. I'm here just for Stormlight Archive and maybe Warbreaker. I mean, I enjoyed all of Sanderson's books, but not enough to actually go and find a forum to talk about them. Only SA excited me enough, though the excitement seems to have faded slightly with time, so I'm not really active in any of Sanderson's threads. I mean, these are all great books, seriously. And Sanderson's world building is always astounding, but the characters and plot sometimes just don't do it for me. Of course that's just my personal opinion, and I know there are many people here that love Sanderson. So I'm here mostly because I like this forum, I guess. Trust me, I know how you feel. I used to have my favourite blog with reviews, author of which seemed to have to have exactly the same book taste as I have. But he closed it down, because he decided to start publishing books instead. So finding good books to read is just so much harder now. To be honest I usually read some reviews and book descriptions, and if the reviews seem legit and description seems mildly interesting I just go for it and read the book. Sometimes I end up reading like the worst books ever because of that, sometimes I find amazing books. You never know. Well, it got hard recentl, because my taste is getting more obscure every year. Though usually it should be possible to recognise if the review is praising the book for a reason, or just because the reviewer really likes the author. Wow. I think 15 years of fantasy reading means my assumption was far from correct. I've only learned how to read 17 years ago or so, and I also started to read fantasy 15 years ago. O_O Though you didn't read a lot of books, I'll give you that. So let's say I was... half correct. Now that you said you enjoyed both Sanderson and Inslington I suddenly started to think that you might enjoy Brian Staveley's series that starts with The Emperor's Blades. You should try it. And it's even on audible. And as for Malazan series order: Just read the main story written by Erikson, and then think if you want to read Esslemont, becaue his books are just "extras" and you don't need them to experience the awesomeness of the plot of this series. EDIT: Spelling and stuff.

Kingsman?

Can someone please explain me why in Arrow It really bugs me.

And I'm going to say something else. I'm going to be called mean, and I'm probably going to be downvoted. I really don't want to offend anyone, but I really need to say this. I really hate threads like that. I find them absolutely pointless, since it is basically impossible to determine which book you're goint to enjoy, which not, because everyone has different tastes. I think it's more efficient to just read some reviews of books, as they describe them in more detail, and also you can compare opinions of more people. Most people also tend to recommend just the most popular stuff. But I do get that some people find asking for recs useful. However this thread is not going to help you. You won't find a book you enjoy with the attitude you have. There is nothing wrong with it, but I think it limits your enjoyment of other books. How can you truly enjoy a book, when you already assume it's going to be so much worse? You just don't believe there are any good books out there. I think you're pretty new to the whole fantasty genre business, and you clearly seem to be enamored by Sanderson's prose, but in order to enjoy other books you need to be more open-minded. There is just one Brandon Sanderson, just as there is just one Tolkien, or one Terry Prathchett or one Agatha Christie and Marry Shelley, and so on. Every author writes differently. If you're going to look for books constantly comparing them to Sanderson's books (which are your favourites), you will just severly disappoint yourself, if you haven't already. You can't expect every book to be like your favourite, but it doesn't mean that they have to be less enjoyable. My suggestion is: just read different books as much as you can. General rule is that the more you read, the more your taste changes. I can't really give you recommendations, because I don't listen to audiobooks, so I don't know what's on auddible and what's not. However Malazan Book of the Fallen is a good read that's really long, so maybe you'll enjoy it somehow. Though it's different from Sanderson and WoT a lot, so I have my doubts. I also suggest you read White Sand if you haven't already.