Pestis the Spider

Wonderful. It sounds like this time I may be able to prove that it is indeed possible to dislike a Mistborn novel. I don't have a problem with info dumps, I actually really like them, but I don't like "kinda silly" things. And if we add to that that original Mistborn was never my fav series, and that Wax and Wayne series is not as good as a original makes me think that it is actually possible for me to dislike this book. So far AoL and SoS wer kinda 'meh'. I'm currently trying to finish Abercrombie's First Law trilogy. I've read first 2 books before and I kinda liked them, but I never got to read the third one, so I'm reading it now. And it's such a dissapointment. First the book is extremely predictable, but enjoyable, and then it's completely random, but most reveals make no sense. I don't get it. Meh. Once I'm done with this one, I'll read BoM, and hopefully I'll be pleasantly surprised and amazed by that book. Let's be positive.

Because the Wolverine guy played that guy who bought the cloning machine.

Yeah. Your turn.

I hope that's not to easy. I'm not sure I'm doing it right, but here we go: "Logan" buys the cloning machine to combat the power of twins.

Harry Potter? xD

I would pay all my money, to get so much snow where I live. Give me all your snow. I'll take it gladly.

Is City of Stairs any good?

Someone stole my rubbish wheelie bin. And I can't request the new one, because the City Council's website doesn't work. As always...

Monster Inc.?

I wish I had money to afford physical books. ;( I probably shouldn't buy ebooks either. Eh, so annoying.

Eh. King's The Gunslinger maybe?

I also think so. Also:

I mean that she's my "best friend" (not exactly best friend in the common understanding, but for me it was more than I usually had) and we went to highschool together. She is actively messaging me for months and I ignore her. And I think that her patience is going to run out finally (even though she's a really patient person). The problem with facebook is that it shows the other person that I saw their message. To be honest I have no idea how to deal with her. She's the first and only person that actually tries to keep in contact with me after we finished school. But I have nothing to talk to her about. That makes me really uncomfortable. But in the same time I don't want her to stop liking me, and if I tell her I'm not in the mood to talk she'll probably be annoyed (everyone always is) and angry with me. I know it's probably really selfish. But I think I solved it. I replied her when she'd already disappeared from FB. I'll see how it goes from here. Let's count it as solved, before you start to consider me even more terrible person than you already do (and you're right...).

I just made a horrible mistake. My best friend from highschool noticed me on facebook. I don't want to talk to her, so I've been ignoring her for a long, long time. But I don't want her to hate me, she's still one of the better friends I have (even though I talk with her once in half a year, because I basically don't have friends). What do I do? Help. Is there a way to ignore her without her getting offended? I do realise my request is pretty heartless towards a person I call friend. Sorry, I know I'm a bad person. O.o

The first meeting of my pet rats went surprisingly well. I'll try it again tomorrow.

No. It's one person per topic, and if another student already took the one I wanted, I can't just take it away from them. It's not their fault.

I tried to sign-up for an essay topic, and I managed to get the one I wanted. But then today I realised that I still haven't got an e-mail confirmation. So I decided to check it, and it turned out that the system somehow did not count my sign-up (a lot of activity on server) and in the meantime someone managed to snatch my topic! And now I had to sign-up for some utterly boring and stupid topic. I'm not happy. EDIT: Oh, and I finally got the appointment letter to the psychiatrist. That's good news. Bad news is that it doesn't give me an appointment, it asks me to make one by calling. And worse news is that the letter also states that waiting list times are at least 12-18 weeks. This is ridiculous. If someone were suicidal they would be long dead before their appointment. O.o Never trust public health care provider. =.=

Eh, that's doable if there is nothing else to do. If there is something to do (school, uni, work) then a week seems more possible. But I seriously doubt that WoW is going to come out anytime in this decade. I'm serious. But if they all came out the same day I would start with WoW. Stormlight is great but I prefer ASOIAF. And I would read Kingkiller the last. I enjoy the series but it's not super high on my priority list.

Well, that was first time for me, too. Love your nick though. Makes me think about spiders. xD

So I just went today to adopt a pair of pet rats, because my other rat is totally lonely and depressed since she lost her friend. On my way back, I was waiting at the bus stop. It was raining and snowing (Scottish winter, ugh), so of course there were puddles of water on the road, but they weren't that big, so all the drivers were avoiding the just fine. And then this <incomprehensible sequence of curses> driver on purpose splashed me with water so bad that I looked like I just went swimming in my clothes. I somehow managed to mostly save my rats, but my brand new jacket (that used to be light grey, now it's spotty brown) and trousers unfotunately not. And it is way too cold to stand outside in a totally soaking trousers (90% of my trosers were wet. I can send a photo as a proof.). I'm so angry! EDIT: I tried to correct the mistakes, but if there are any more words missing and the comment is not understandable because of that, please tell me.

@skaa, isn't it obligatory in your country to vaccinate puppies against rabies? I don't know where you live, and what is the law there, but for example in Poland it is obligatory, so most people do vaccinate their dogs. And also I really don't envy you. There was a few times I got scared after reading internet (because internet always seriously tries to convince me that I have a cancer, so annoying), and I know it's not a nice feeling. And to add to that rabies shots which are said to be seriously unpleasant and my needle phobia... I just feel the sense of dread even just after reading your post. Brrr, needles. Horrible. EDIT: I did it again. Seriously long post. You don't have to read it. Yeah, I kind of understand. But then I have this way of thinking that I people mean the bad thing they say, but don't mean the good things they say. So I'm kind of convinced that at least some here are secretly annoyed with me for complaining. Maybe that is not true, I don't know. And I don't mean to offend anyone. Just my way of thinking is kind of negative, I guess, so I wrote that apology earlier so that secretly annoyed people are maybe slightly less annoyed... Oh, I know that. I mean, these are all thing one is born with, so if they are there, there had to be there all along. So nothing changes with the label. It's just the psychologist made me think about things I never thought about, because they just always were the way they are now. And it's a little weird to suddenly start thinking about them. O.o (a)-d) added by me) a) Oh, I know I'm not. I just said that I'm worried that the doctor will think I am. Also I said that my parent thinks I am hypochondriac, but it's not connected to my mental health (I don't talk to them about it). It's just I tend to get cold during most stupid of times (while noone else in the family has a cold), and my colds are always really bad, and my parents think that makes me hypochondriac. It only shows that they're stupid and they don't know what "hypochondriac" actually means, so I don't bother with them too much. b ) But I am. O.o c) Maybe I am or maybe I'm not. Well, I was raised in the family in which general opinion is that "mental health issue" is just a fancy name for lack of will and looking for excuses. I know it's stupid way of thinking, I am aware how stupid is it. But it's still a little hard to go against that thought. d) Oh, I'm not saying I'm making it up. I totally think that my problems are real. But I think that they might be much smaller in reality than I think, meaning that I exaggerate them. Well, my parents always told me that I exaggerate my problems (but my parents are stupid, so I tend not to listen to them anymore). But then I told my student counsellor (she met me to determine if it's worth testing me for ADD so it's a little separate issue, so I don't blame her that much) that I've got some really bad marks from my assessment last semester. She asked me what mark I got. So I told her that I got a higher C. So she said "Oh, so it's not that bad that you're failing, right?". Well, I think it's really bad, and no one will ever want to employ me because of that, but I think she might have been suggesting that I do exaggerate a little. At least it sounded like it. Or at least to me. The fun thing is that I am not exactly sure what the "life made whole again" even feels like. I mean, I'm slightly over 20. I had anxiety issues for at least 12 years. Trust issues even longer. Social issues... eh, I don't know for how long. Apparently I liked to play with other kids and talk on the phone when I was in kindergarten (which is one of the reasons I think I probably don't have Asperger's. Need to tell that to my psychologist), but then I suddenly started to be afraid of people and started to hate phones. I also remember like 6 years of something I just call depression to make it easier (but I'm not sure, as I never saw a doctor about it). The only time I remember that I was seriously happy was the first semester of my uni 2 years ago. But was that "whole life"? It's not like all my issues were not there. Because they totally were there. But the new uni was exciting and my (stupid) parents were finally far away from me, so I guess that's what made me more happy. Now I'm back to my miserable self, and my parents say it's because I'm bored (Because life is boring. That's why I watch and read so much fantasy), because uni is not exciting anymore and I don't do anything fun. I can see the reasoning behind this statement, but solving my boredom only makes my mood better, but doesn't suddenly give me best grades and tons of best friends. So I don't think that my boredom is the main problem here. EDIT2: Almost forgot. Thanks everyone! Have some upvotes!

EDIT: Long post with ridiculous ranting. You don't need to read it, if you don't want to. Seriously. I'm just talkative. Yeah, I'm seeing someone about it. But I just started to be honest, and it just go worse since I last saw someone about it. I got a referral to someone (not about exactly this issue, but similar one), but the appointment letter still hasn't arrived. When I see my GP next time, I'm going to ask her about this letter. I also did see the psychologist provided by university about some the other (but related) issue, but that was just before Christmas, and so I haven't seen him again yet (because of holidays at uni). My GP also totally wanted me to try antidepressants, and even prescribed them to me (GP's can do that in UK). But I never took them, because I'm worried that I am simply exaggerating because I am lazy and weak-willed. And I think that taking unnecessary meds would just mess with my mind. I think I am worried about it, because GPs in Poland (when I'm from) generally don't prescribe antidepressants, so I am not sure if I can trust a British GP to do that either. Maybe if I were to talk with a specialist about it... Well, at least my GP seems nice to talk about my worries (for about 10-15 mins, because that's the length of the appointment but that's better than nothing), but I missed my last appointment with her, because I was worried that I'm exaggerating... well, you get it. I'm kind of worried that they're all going to say I'm a hypochondriac. Well, my parents already say I am hypochondriac, but my parents are stupid (because they say that having a cold while noone else has and informing them about it is hypochondriac), so I just don't talk to them about my anxiety and co. to avoid listening to their stupidity. And I tried to do exercise recently but I quickly started to skip it, because I always feel guilty that I'm exercising instead of studying. It's not like I study all the time, really, it's just I constantly feel guilty about not studying. I feel lazy. But that's really nothing new for me. I don't have a roomate fortunately. I used to have one roommate 2 years ago. She was really nice, and her friends were nice. Couldn't stand her in a long-term at all. I really need a space to myself. But I can't talk to my flatmate, because he would react with his positive attitude which I can't take. I'm pretty sure he considers me ridiculous and a failure deep down. And he also happens to be successful in areas I'm not (like applications...), so he kind of reminds me of my anxiety. I don't like it. And I don't want to bother him with notes, he's not my friend or anything. And to be honest I just think that my life somewhere took the ridiculous turn. I always had this anxiety issues, trust issues, control issues, etc. but when I moved out from my family house I thought they all went away. But now they're back and even worse. I don't know how that works. What's more I actually started to suspect I might have ADHD (for various reasons, it's too late now to list them), so I went to GP and student counselling service about it. Student counselling service sent me to uni psychologist (guy apparently specialises in autism and similar stuff, as we have some students with this problem here). The uni psychologists took a great interest in my (total lack of) social life, and said that he thinks that it is quite probable that I actually have Asperger's with some ADHD symptoms (he also told me that my father sounds like an Aspie). I haven't even given my social life any serious thought in years, as it died when I was 9 and even before that it was nothing spectacular). I'm perfectly aware that I am "afraid of people" and "socially uncapable" and came to the terms with it. It just happened to me, it's not like I could do anything about it. And now (12 years after my social life died for good) I am told that it may actually be part of an issue. Even suggestions like that make my life weird. I'm not sure I find it possible. And I still find the "I'm just exaggerating, because I'm lazy" hypothesis quite possible. To be honest I don't always have anxiety problems with my handwriting. So far I didn't fail because of it, so it was fine. But this time I'm seriously worried. I think I paid much less attention while writing my exams to the way my handwriting than usually. And thank god I don't hyperventilate because of my general anxiety issues. Mostly psychological issues with some feeling sick and dry mouth is what I usually get. And I obviously bite all my nails. But that always happened. I do hyperventilate when I get a panic attack, but since I moved away from my parents I don't get them that often. I only got 3 in last 6 months, and they were all caused by my stupid parents. Thank god I no longer live with my parents. To everyone: Sorry for constantly complaining about my imagined problems here. And I do know that I totally sound like I don't want to help myself. I just find everything harder because of my imagined problems growing, so I got more whiny. Sorry for that. I just really don't think I have anyone I could possibly talk to about this stuff. And the anonymity of internet put's me a little at ease, and everyone here always says nice things, so I started to really like this thread. I do apologise for using you (by making you read all my ridiculous and long ranting) to make myself feel a little better. Sorry.

So, I just realised that I reached the level at which I am scared to go out of my room if my flatmate is in the flat. Well, if he's closed in his room then I can quickly sneak in and out while praying that he doesn't notice me. And my flatmate is perfectly nice guy that is easy to talk to. I just don't like him, because his attitude is too positive, so it's probably fake. I am also afraid to check my uni timetable and generally go to uni. Today during the lecture I almost started crying when they mentioned that we should make sure our handwriting is readable. I am so absoulutely sure I failed my last exams because of my terrible handwriting. I don't have results yet, but now I'm totally sure they're not going to be positive and that I completely destroyed my life. I also covered my ears and also almost started crying when some students behind me started to talk about applications for summer placements. I also should apply. However I'm avoidind applying (and that itself makes me really uncomfortable), because I'm scared that my application will be so bad that my potential employer will put my name on Blacklist of "People so idiotic that we should never ever employ". People tend to tell me that such blacklists don't exist, but I'm pretty concerned that there is a possibility that they might exist. Well. So basically I realised that I have some anxiety issues here... That is so much fun.

So, I had an exam at uni today early in the mornins, so I tried to get some sleep, especially that I had to wake up in a middle of the night (2:30 am) for some stupid reason. But when I tried to fall asleep again I realised that... my flatmate is playing guitar and singing. Yes, at 2:30 am. and in complete darkness, for some reason. He was pretty quiet, I'll give him that, but c'mon... Fun fact: He also had exam this morning. I don't know how he does it...

Oh, no, I think I just saw a spoiler! I was watching youtube video, and there was comment which I barely noticed. So I was like "Oh, wait, what was that?" So I actually came back to this comment, and read it, and now my SW watching experience is ruined. That is terrible. You can't do anything in the internet, because there are spoilers in so many random places.