mail-mi

Haha thanks. Post changed. If the twins react how Voidus said they would (throwing a desk at Reader) then Backtrack might not have a chance to sign up

Hm. I think I'll edit my post to do that. I thought Vondra was a little more lenient, but I guess not . I'll have Reader shoot Backtrack in the arm.

Oh right And I must've forgotten about that. Carry on

Also, it needs to rain tomorrow in Oregon. I mean, it's freaking Oregon and we haven't had any rain yet! What is wrong with you people??

What month/day is it in the game anyway? EDIT: also, I think I'm going to contact the Steelheart dictionary people and ask them to change the definition of slontze to "Reader."

Steven spoke up. It was as if the mere mention of his name had brought him back into the land of the present. Well, it actually could have.... "Hold it right there, buster," he said, trying to sound firm. "No one makes crude references about seeing them naked but me." He sneered. "For your information, wise guy, We came to The Dalles as part of a very important mission. We were sent by--" there was a pause. He's lying. Reader instantly thought. He didn't know this, but even before he'd gotten his powers he'd been pretty good at reading people's expressions and body language. "Lightwards the Green. We were sent by Lightwards the Green, the newest and most powerful necromancer in all of Oregon. He's immortal, he can control dinosaurs, and... uh, he can fly." He's lying. Again. You didn't lie to Reader. Reader did not stand lying. He felt his anger growing. "Does that tell you everything you need to know, you alcoholic... uh, meanieface?" This guy is pathetic. Reader smiled, though he still felt a twinge of anger. There were two types of people that Reader loved to mess with. One, like Megan, could stand up to him and made it a challenge. And the other was so pathetic that he could say almost anything and it would mess with them. Like Steven. Reader turned his head slowly towards him, and studied him quickly. Yes, his Reading confirmed it. Steven was lying. Reader lowered his gaze into a glare. "You're lying," he growled. "Do you know what happens to people that lie to me?" Just then, Bloom came in with the twins' sodas. As he set them on the desk, Reader pulled out his pistol from under his desk and shot Steven in the arm. Everyone jumped or leaned back in shock, and the soldiers at the door glared at him. Steven's arm started to bleed. Reader took a deep breath, then exhaled it slowly through his nose. "That is what happens to people that lie to me, Steven." He set the pistol on his desk with the muzzle pointed toward Steven, "So, if you would not like the next one to go straight into your heart, tell me the truth. The whole truth." "Well, we finished out mission, lets head back to Quicksilver, shall we?" BusDriver nodded sullenly, the turned and started the bus. Aura and Event Horizon took seats at the front of the bus, and BusDriver started to drive. He was pretty familiar with the roads in the Dalles--he'd been a school bus driver back pre-Calamity--so he went into auto pilot mode as he drove down what used to be a freeway. Sparking bus. Why don't I ever get the cool jobs? No no no, he's just a simple bus driver, he can't do anything, let's just make him drive buses around everywhere. He can be head of transportation, that's a sparking brilliant idea! Everyone else can fight against the forces of Vondra but no not simple BusDriver he just-- The bus hit something. He hadn't been paying attention, and the bus had veered to the side of the road. BusDriver tried to pull the bus back onto the road, but it was too late. The bus tiiiiiiiiipppppeeeddd ooooovvvveerrr, then started to roll down the hill. BusDriver was in a seatbelt, so he was just jostled, but he could hear thumps as Aura and Event Horizon bounced around the interior. Finally, the bus came to a stop on its side. BusDriver took a few deep breaths, then steadied himself in his seat. He was hanging over the ground--the side with the entrance door was now down--and he didn't really want to see what had become of Aura and Event Horizon. But he had too anyway. He turned around in his seat and looked at the two Epics. They were sprawled on the wall that was now down, and he could hear one of them groaning. "You guys okay?" Slowly they stood up, then both nodded. Aura was holding her head. Sparking bus. BusDriver nodded back, then turned back around to undo his seatbelt. He glanced at the dashboard, and his gaze stopped on the fuel gauge. The indicator on the gauge was going down. Rapidly. BusDriver gasped, then quickly undid his seatbelt and tried to twist himself so he would land on the ground on his feet. It almost worked. His joints complained against him as he stood up straight. He took in a short breath, then pointed at the back door exit. "We've gotta get out of here. We have about thirty seconds 'til this bus turns back into a tiny pebble. Go!"

I'm going to go with a no for that, just so he can't do anything like that. Everything he's done in the past has already happened.

Thanks!

Um...maybe?

He's still an epic. It's still post-Calamity in his timeline, just not everyone else's

New Timeport and Mommy post. Timeport kind of has to see Upgrade in the new future, as Upgrade removes his limit on traveling to the past. (Note: Timeport+upgrade=ACTUAL LIVING (NOT BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE, BUT LIVING) DINOSAURS IN PORTLAND!)

Timeport landed with a thud and groaned, rolling over onto his back. When he'd decided to nearly escape the atmosphere, he hadn't thought of how he was going to get down. So he'd positioned himself over the giant carpet he'd seen while hovering over Portland, then let himself fall. When he was almost at the ground, he'd teleported a minute into the future, but remained in the same place. That way, he lost his momentum and didn't hit the ground at terminal velocity, but just hit it from a foot above. Unfortunately, he hadn't been able to maneuver himself so he landed on his feet, so when he jumped back into time he landed flat on his stomach. He lay on the carpet for a minute, trying to get over the feeling of splattering onto the ground. He hadn't actually splattered against the ground, but it felt like he had. After a good ten minutes passed, he finally felt good enough to stand up. He looked up to the sky and thanked Calamity for the idea on how to survive, then started to walk. Wait. I don't have to walk. Timeport grinned, then teleported five feet forward. He teleported continuously, and anyone who briefly saw him appear quickly got out of the way, knowing that an Epic had decided to grace their street. I could get used to this. He started to head toward the bank, but halfway there he stopped, realizing that the bank didn't exist anymore. It had been turned into a bouncy house, then subsequently destroyed, rendering Corpsemaker lair-less. And realized that he had no idea where Corpsemaker currently resided. He was standing there for a good minute, until someone distinctly familiar appeared from one of the side streets. He was teleporting, just as Timeport had, so Timeport never got a good look at him. The man stopped right next to him, close enough that Timeport could only see him out of the corner of his eye. "Lost?" he asked. "What's it to you?" Timeport said, turning to try to get a good look at the man, but suddenly he appeared on the other side of him. "I know where Corpsemaker is, and I can take you there." Timeport whipped around, but the man had teleported again. "Want me to lead you there?" "Gah!" Timeport shouted, giving up trying to see the man. "That would be great." The man appeared right in front of him. I swear I recognize that face! "Follow me." And so Timeport did, teleporting along behind the man. Whenever they got to an intersection, the man would pause his teleporting briefly enough for Timeport to see where he was going, then start again before he could get a good look at him. Soon, they arrived at the armory, and Timeport could see that nearly half of it had been turned to steel. The man stopped right in front of the entrance, then turned to face Timeport. "This is Corpsemaker's HQ." The man smiled devilishly. "And make sure to ask him to let you see Upgrade." The man teleport-walked away, and suddenly Timeport recognized who it was. That was... me. Timeport smiled. Somehow, this Corpsemaker was able to remove his restriction on travelling to the past. He laughed and knocked loudly on the door. "This is Timeport, a new Epic in town! And I have some information for you!" Mommy walked out of the family's home. She was in one of the less terrorized parts of town, and this family had seemed stable enough to take care of itself. The children had been sad to leave her, but she knew they were in a better place now. She walked down the sidewalk to her waiting crowd of children, now 2 children smaller. It was much bigger than when she'd entered town; there had been several children on the street in need of a good home. Too many. These three factions at war were ruining things for the children, and it was Mommy's goal to stop it. That's why she was searching out the Minor Epic Empire. To stop the war, to have peace for once. Peace for the children. The family she'd just visited had had some information on where the Minor Epic Empire was headquartered; it was in a school around here somewhere. "Children?" she announced. "We're going to go find a school. Richard, Leonardo, and Maddie, go run around and search for a school. Come back when you find it." The children she'd called nodded--all three of them were at least eight years old, she didn't send anyone younger than that out by themselves--and ran off. Several minutes later, they returned and reported that they'd found the school. Mommy told them to lead the way, and soon they arrived at a newer-looking high school--well, newer by pre-Calamity standards. Mommy told her children to wait for her, then walked up to the front doors. She tentatively pushed open the doors and took a step inside. "Hello?" she called. "Is this the Minor Epic Empire?"

We never had him react to the Firefly reference

I second this.

Mommy would definitely be in Hufflepuff Timeport would go to Slytherin in a heartbeat. BusDriver would probably be Mad-eye because of the grumpy factor. Reader would be Draco Malfoy. 'Nuf said.

Buy. I like the "Calamity is an epic" theory. The cosmere is all just one of Steven's hallucinations

I hope it's alright that I made it so BusDriver was the one who got Aura and Event Horizon to Outpost Zeta. I figured it would be a good introductory scene to his character

"As for your request Mr. Creepy, you should know better than to offer underage girls wine shouldn't you?" Reader smiled. It'd been a while since he'd had a real challenge, someone who would actually stand up to him. That just made it all the more fun. For the taller one stood, the farther one fell. The twins were only nineteen, but he and they both knew that they didn't care if they were underage or not. "Of course," he said, packing as much sarcasm into those two words as he could. He looked at one of the soldiers guarding the door with his gun raised. "Bloom, fetch this girl a soda. Her favorite is root beer." The soldier grunted, then left, leaving the other two behind. Reader looked back and forth between the twins, drilling his eyes into theirs. "Now, no more funny business. Tell me everything you know about the Dalles. Why are you here? And if you don't comply, I'll have Richard over there shoot both of you." He glanced at Steven, as though just noticing that he was still there. "And Steven, of course." His eyes trained back on the twins. "And you may think you are invincible, but I'm sure you wouldn't want me to see you without a stitch on, now would you?" BusDriver waited in--wait, you guessed it--a bus. It still had a half tank full of gas, so it would take a few hours of driving it around before it would automatically revert back into the rock it had once been. BusDriver groaned, adjusting his rear end on the uncomfortable driver's seat. He had some control over what happened to the buses that he made, but unfortunately, the comfortable-ness of the seats was not one of them. "I'm too old for this," he mumbled, though what was he whining for? He was only forty-something, he still had a good half of his life left before him. Unfortunately, the outlook of that future was bleak. He'd joined up with Quicksilver, hoping to be given a good job, but NOPE he was still just a simple bus driver. Even though he could make a sparking bus out of anything he sparking wanted to, like say an enemy's shirt--killing them instantly--he was still stuck as the head of transportation. BusDriver shifted again. Where are Aura and Event Horizon? he thought. Though they'd said it was going to be a quick mission, they'd been in there for a while. BusDriver wasn't allowed to go in, oh no. No, he had to sit out and wait in a sparking bus while they got to do all the fun stuff. He groaned and laid his head on the steering wheel, making the bus let out a loud blare that had become familiar to him. BusDriver scowled and sat back up. Sparking bus.

"Fine, let's chat." Megan glanced at her sister, and suddenly Reader knew something was about to happen. He considered ducking, but the thought barely entered his head when the wine goblet he'd placed in front of her flew into the wall beside him and smashed into the wall. Of course, Reader thought. Alison creates momentum, Megan transfers it. That could be useful. "But no drinks," she continued, then turned to Steven. "Oh, and 'Steven,' the guy makes a good point. Keep the glasses." Just then, through the door, in came several guards, all with guns trained on the three Epics seated across from Reader--and they looked ready to kill. Reader held up his hand, stopping the guards. "Hold on a minute." He looked at the twins. "It's a shame, that was a nice goblet. Expensive, too. It would be...unfortunate if I had to have all these nice soldiers take you in. We wouldn't want them digging into your personal record, now would we? How many alcoholic drinks have you stolen, again?"

Aaaaaand they're back.

I hope the new Reader post was despicable enough for your guy's taste.

"We're here to get as far away from a certain creepy Epic as possible, we were going to stay in Portland but a certain... event changed our minds. You seem like a useful guy, but definitely not leader material, so you take us to whichever Epic rules here and we promise not to riddle your body with sharp pointy things." Reader almost spit out his wine. Riddle me with sharp pointy things? Lemme tell you how well that will work. But first, he turned to Steven. The man was pursing his lips, almost as if he'd wanted to talk but the girl had taken that opportunity from him. "She's in charge?" Reader said to him, leaning towards him and pointing with his thumb at MV. "Well," he leaned back in his chair, taking a more relaxed pose, "it makes sense. You've never been good at being in charge, have you Steven? Your life's work, torn down by vandals and trolls. You're just a sad little king of a sad little hill..." Reader shook his head, then turned to MV. "And Megan. Do you think that these soldiers standing at the door would just let you, quote, 'riddle my body with sharp pointy things'? They'd end you before you'd even have a chance. And you wouldn't want your blood getting all over Steven's pretty pink sunglasses, would you? No." Reader scooted his chair up closer to the desk, then reached underneath it and pulled out his half-empty bottle of wine and a single goblet. "Sit down, relax, have some wine." Reader unstopped the wine and poured a little into Megan's goblet. "Let's have a chat."